- me: I am fine and focussed on my own goddamn life
- me, at night, eyes snapping open: Lana Del Rey wrote a song named "Terrence Loves You" for her album "Honeymoon". Said song references David Bowie's "Space Oddity". David Bowie had a half-brother named Terence, who suffered from schizophrenia and who he was very attached to as a kid. He was also the one who turned David's interest at an early age towards jazz. Due to David being fearful he might be schizophrenic himself and general fear of mental illness that ran in his family, the two brothers lost touch after David witnessed Terry worsening and checking himself into a mental hospital. They never quite reunited before Terry's suicide in January 1985. The line "and I lost myself, and I lost you, too, but I still got jazz, when I've got the blues", might be meant as spoken from Terry's perspective.
Regarding the soundtrack for S4, I've noticed a new motif that originated in TST, a sombre violin piece that begins at 1:13 on track 6 'Running Away', used for the scene where John reads the letter Mary wrote about running away. So naturally I assumed this was Mary's theme, until today when I heard it again in TLD (track 7 of the TLD soundtrack 'No Charges' at 0:45), but slowed down. The scene in TLD is where John hits Sherlock, so it has nothing to do with Mary. What may we deduce of this?