I think today is my low day and it’s terrible because I was having a couple of good days before today. It was kind of expected because a low day is going to come whether you want it to or not. This could just be me being negative but it’s happened in the past so many times. This low mod just came on like a switch. It feels like my mood switch had been left on ‘good and stable’ for a few days before it decided to switch back down to ‘upset with a whole load of other negative things’.
In fact, it’s funny because I dropped a cereal box today and that ticked me off because quite a lot of it came out. My mum was a little bit annoyed at the fact that happened but it’s nothing serious, it’s just spilled cereal. But it seems like after that point, my mood went off slightly and it’s just gotten worse.
I’ve got a lot on my mind that I try to block out sometimes but that doesn’t stop it from trying to surface. I think that talk with my father also threw me off and I’ve been having the weirdest dreams lately even though I’m sleeping early.
I guess I’m just scared, a little worried and envious. I’m still in this part of my life where the pause button is firmly pressed and I can’t make anything happen to make the play button go. I’m envious about a lot of people living their lives but I’m still stuck here, irritated at the position that I’m in.
I hate feeling like this, it feels like I’ve taken a step back.