starting T is exciting, and for the first few weeks/months you’ll be looking for changes EVERYWHERE, trying to measure how low your voice is going, how much your face is changing, etc.
But there will inevitably be a point (usually some time in your first year) where you will start feeling like nothing is happening; like you haven’t changed enough to where people notice, because your body shape hasn’t changed, you haven’t sprouted a full beard yet, your voice is still androgynous instead of manly, that T just isnt working for you.
And for that I have a little anecdote: I’m around 7 months on T, and I’ve noticed my voice drop, tiny changes in my face, and my peach fuzz has started getting longer. But because of the way my fat has not redistributed, I still get misgendered sometimes because I have a very distinct body type. So I started having those thoughts that I wasn’t changing and that no one was even noticing, and that maybe I was just unlucky and T wasn’t going to do much for me.
And then, something really cool happened - THREE separate people from my work, who only see me occasionally because they’re from different departments, approached me or stopped me to talk when they saw me. After determining that I was okay with talking about it, they each asked me if I was on hormones (a detail I didn’t share with a lot of people at work, but am comfortable with doing so if asked politely) and told me they had noticed because I changed so much since I started working there a year ago. They had noticed my voice dropping, that I looked different. One of them told me it was incredible how much had happened in just 7 months. And let me tell you, that was so amazing and uplifting for me to hear, and it totally changed my outlook on how I think about my transition.
The thing is, we live with ourselves every day. We scrutinize ourselves to measure just how much we are changing, but we miss so many things that happen because they’re so gradual that we don’t notice. But the people around us - they notice, they see and acknowledge that we are changing. I promise, things ARE happening. T is working for you. Sometimes it just takes stepping out of your own shoes to get a different perspective to see it.
First, this is just a friendly reminder that you do not owe these boys anything! We all spend our free time here because we love them, but we all need to remember that our mental health comes first. If the latest round of interviews (Dick Wattpad) has upset you, please take a step back and do something else with your time! Read a book (or fanfic), paint, play an instrument, bake some cupcakes, take a bubble bath, whatever you need to do to unwind. Liam and Zayn will still be here regardless of your personal involvement, and I guarantee that they would want you to take care of yourself.
Second: Don’t be afraid to think for yourself; your instincts are usually right. If something about a situation seems wrong, it probably is! I know it’s difficult to listen to lies coming from our boys in print and in person, and it may be really easy to take them at face value. However, as with everything surrounding this band, nothing is as it seems. A comment in an interview cannot erase the YEARS of history these boys have, just like reminiscing about a relationship and a child cannot erase the ridiculously shady circumstances behind them. We know these boys have been forced to push lies in the past, and we have no evidence that things have changed for ANY of them (all of OT5 is still trapped, regardless of what they say about being “free”). Use your head and call them on their BS. Also, if you do acknowledge that Liam’s comments about Zayn seem odd, maybe you should check into the legitimacy of the rest of the interview. (Dick Wattpad always pushes official narratives, so maybe you can pick out his priorities from that interview).
Third: I’ve been saying this for this whole radio tour, but it’s worth repeating. Liam Payne is an excellent liar. He is fully training to deal with the press and he has had years of experience to perfect pushing the official narrative. Liam saved 1D from embarrassment time and time again in interviews. So, why are people surprised that he is so good at convincing people of a narrative that is favorable to Simon and company? He smiles a lot and moves his hands and talks really fast, and tries to end on an emotional note to distract people into cooing or laughing with him. It’s all about misdirection. Has anyone stopped to wonder why Liam, who is on a radio tour to promote his upcoming album, has spent almost no time actually talking about his music? Maybe it’s because the entire point of his current stuntlationship is to promote a certain washed up girlbander with a nasty past who has convenient ties to good ol Simon, and who is probably going to be working on some music of her own in the near future. What better way to break into uncharted territory (the United States) than to ride on the coat tails of an attractive young singer who is destined for great things.
In conclusion, take care of yourself. Think for yourself. Take everything with a grain of salt. Don’t let current disappointments distract you from the truth.
Oh and buy Strip That Down! Liam isn’t responsible for his nasty narrative; we all know he loves Zayn more than anyone.
Summary: After confessing your affection for Bucky quite sometime ago, you are more than terrified of facing him again as he comes back from a year and a half long mission.
Word count: 1543
Paring: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: slight angst? nothing too intense though with fluff at the end.
A/N: First off, I would like to say a huge ‘thank you’ to anyone who had read “Smartass”, I’m overwhelmed by the positive feedback! Again, I’m sorry for any typos/ grammar mistakes/ mistakes in general (English is not my first language). Feedback is very welcomed and I hope you enjoy!
(As you have probably guessed, the text in italics is a flashaback)
(gif is not mine)
Walking out of your room in the Avengers HQ, you yawned loudly before entering the kitchen, occupied already by your teammates.
“Family breakfast, how lovely” you smiled at the sight of all of the Earth’s Mightiest Superheroes sitting by the table. You poured yourself a tall cup of black coffee and sipped on it in silence.
“We’re going to have a visitor today” Steve announced with a huge grin. “Bucky’s coming back from mission.”
“What?” you choked on your coffee in shock, hot liquid almost burning your throat.
“He’ll be here in an hour” Rogers added, putting his dirty plate in the sink. Passing you, he send you a wink, before whispering: “Maybe it’s time, Y/N.”