no ball too big

2

I’ve been tagged by a few people for an SDS over the last few days …  @redneckredo ,  @toofattobeaprincess ,  @z-lifts 

so sorry for the delay! 

Here I am with some Hairy Balls … don’t judge!

What are you up to:  @fatmaninalittlesuit @fitnessgeekandcoffeefreak @mystoryfortheaudienceoftheworld @mybigfatfitlife @mermaidgains @m0tiv8me @marines-sweat-hard @theotherstephencobert @hrstories1234 , @theunstuffedpepper @swimmingtofrance

“You may as well ask me if I care at all for aliens. I don’t particularly have disdain for the idea, but I have never encountered one my self and am not wholly convinced they exist. I have seen depictions of said Pokemon in myths and legends and have used those to craft disguises…”

“…however, I’ve never seen anything like you depicted in such texts, if that’s why you ask.”

[ft. @askblessedeeveelution ]

Sugar and Spice, ch 4

Summary: Your sugar daddy, RIchard Speight Jr, finally asked you to sleep with him.
Word count: 2045
Warnings: Smut, Dick’s big dick
A/N: Special thanks to my wifey @pepperwoodatnight for beta’ing and helping me come up with ideas when I got stuck xoxo

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3

 
Chapter 4: the night 

Richard smiled and pushed you down against the mattress gently, leaning down to kiss you passionately. You let your hands roam his back and shoulders, then you tugged at his shirt.
“Want this off…” you mumbled against his lips, and he pulled off.
“You sure?”
“Of course I’m sure, silly.” You ran your hands down his sides, over his stomach and up his chest. “I want to see you.” 

Rich nodded and pulled his shirt over his head, and you bit back a moan at the sight. He sat back on his heels and ran a hand through his hair as your eyes roamed his torso.
“Fucking perfect,” you whispered and pulled him back down onto you, kissing him hard. He moaned into your mouth and grabbed a handful of your hair, pulling your head up to give him a better angle as his other hand went to your side, and under your shirt.

Keep reading

miscgays  asked:

i have been stalking your blog for the past 20 minutes and i'm in love. is there any way you'd be able to draw nurseydex as girls??? i would sob tbh

idk?? I? love girls????????

(maybe they’re also mer! here, idk idk)

(prompts are good and friendly things!)

4

I still remember the look on your face
Lit through the darkness at 1:58.
The words that you whispered,
For just us to know.
You told me you loved me,
So why’d you go away?

For as long as you had known him, you’d been in love with Klaus Mikaelson. To you he wasn’t the original hybrid or the monster that your friends saw him as. He was kind, and charming and could make you laugh even on the worst days of your life.

One of your fondest memories of Klaus was the night you woke from a nightmare. Sweat drenched your shaking body as Klaus brought you to his chest. His face was a mixture of concern and pure love. The clock beside you blinked 1:58 but still he whispered sweet nothings in your ear, assuring you he’d never leave you and that he’d always be there to protect you and that he loved you.

But he lied. And he left.

I do recall now,
the smell of the rain fresh on the pavement.
You ran off the plane.
That July ninth, the beat of my heart it jumped through my shirt.
Hope you still feel my arms.

In New Orleans, Klaus leaned against a window over looking his city, a glass of bourbon in his hands. Light rain patterned against his window, blurring the lights that stood along the street. The smell of the rain reminded him of one of the last times he saw you. You had been away visiting family across the country for the Fourth of July..

Klaus remembered the smell of the rain fresh on the pavement and the look of joy that spread across your face when you saw him waiting for you, flowers in hand. In that moment Klaus was glad you weren’t a supernatural creature, as he knew if you could hear how his heart beat, he knew he’d never live it down. You dropped your bags and jumped into his awaiting arms and Klaus found himself hoping that you could still feel his arms wrapped around you.

Now I’ll go sit on the floor,
wearing your clothes.
All that I know is I don’t know how to be something you miss.

If somebody were to walk into your room, they’d see you, curled in a ball wearing a shirt that was far too big. The shirt you wore was not yours, of course, but one of Klaus’ that you had stolen early in your relationship before the two of you had moved in together. You swam in Klaus’ scent that had stained his, now your, shirt. Your eyes shut tight, a single thought ran through your head. You didn’t know how to be something he’d miss. Klaus had been a player before you and had met, what you thought, were more beautiful, smart and talented women. And you were sure that in a few years from now Klaus wouldn’t be able to even remember your name.

With that thought, you let the tears fall.

I do remember the swing in your step.
The life of the party, you’re showing off again.
And I’d roll my eyes and then you’d pull me in.
I’m not much for dancing, but for you I did.

Klaus remembered how happy you always seemed to be around him. No matter what troubles you had in your life, you’d constantly smile through it. His thoughts drifted to a particular day the two of you shared. The warm summer rays shone down on the both of you, surrounded in an array of colour the two of you walked through a park and with child-like fascination, you skipped after a butterfly that flutter only a few steps before you. Klaus would laugh and roll his eyes at your behaviour.

Later that night who had returned to your home to eat dinner, music softly playing in the background. A half eaten piece of chicken remained on your plate but you got up and took Klaus’ hands claiming you liked the song that was playing. The song was not something Klaus would usually dance to, it was not a centuries old waltz but an upbeat song with a jazzy beat. Klaus was going to tell you he didn’t want to dance but the look on your face silenced him in a second. He took your hand and spun you in a circle, your laughter ringing through his ears.

Because I love your hand shake, meeting my father.
I love how you walk with your hands in your pocket.
How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something,
There’s not a day I don’t miss those rude interruptions.

Memories flashed through your mind like lightning. The first time the two of you had met. You had been walking around, exploring the town, when Klaus walked up to you and introduced yourself. After telling him your name, you extended your hand but instead of shaking it like you had though, he took your small hand and raised it to his lips. Even while you were dating he would repeat this gesture and it always made you turn scarlet, just like the first day you met him.

So I’ll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep,
and I’ll feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe.
And I’ll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are.

Klaus had never stopped thinking about you but eventually you did move on. It took time but soon smiling didn’t seem so hard anymore. After a year, you met a nice guy and fell in love again and before two years had passed you had a diamond ring on your left hand. Klaus would never go up to you, he couldn’t bring himself to do so. Instead, he compelled the people around you to send him photos and letters to tell him how you were. He sat, hunched over with tears in his eyes the day he got a letter informing him of your engagement. He always knew you’d move on and live a normal life and that’s what he thought he wanted for you, but he knew in that moment, he would never stop loving you.

Hope it’s nice where you are.
And I hope the sun shines and it’s a beautiful day,
and something reminds you, you wish you had stayed.

The big day finally came, the day you’d get married. The sun shone through the church’s windows, painting your white dress with an array of colours. Looking out the window you couldn’t help the thoughts of Klaus creep into your mind. Did Klaus wish he stayed? Would he come charging into the church, yelling “I object”?

The door slammed against the wall. Dropping your flowers you turned around to see the man plaguing your thoughts.

Never imagined we’d have a last kiss.
Never imagined we’d end like this.
Your name, forever the name on my lips.

“Don’t say anything, just let me talk.” Klaus stepped towards you, holding you in his arms.

“I never thought we’d have a last kiss, I never imagined we’d end like this.” His hands moved to cup your cheeks, your watering eyes meeting his.

“And before you get married you have to know your name, will forever be the name on my lips. I love you, forever and always. ”

You pushed him away from you. “I can’t do this again Klaus. I loved you so much and you broke my heart, I’m sorry.”

You walked towards Klaus, leaning up to brush your lips with his. It was short and bittersweet. It was barely a kiss. But it was your last kiss before you walked to the alter and kissed another man. You and Klaus would never share another kiss, it was your last kiss.
Very Good things about hamsters:

1. “Hey bud!” *zoooom*

2. When you give them a big piece of food and they take it in their tiny hamster hands

3. Yaaawwwwnnnn

4. Tennis ball

5. He cheeks too big for his goddamn body

6. “that won’t fit in your cheeks oh wait never mind”

7. “Here I bought you a bigger wheel/house/sand bath” “okay I guess you absolutely won’t use it”

8. Sand baths w their tiny hands

9. Constantly wanting to sit on your back/shoulders/wherever you can’t reach them

10. Waking up to say hi when you come in the room

11. “If you’re gonna take photos of me I WILL chew your camera”

Terrible Rom-Com Posters: The Accidental Husband

For my inaugural Terrible Rom-Com Posters post (that isn’t reblogged from my main blog), I’ll tackle The Accidental Husband, a forgettable love triangle movie (I assume) that gifted us with not one, not two, but THREE terrible Frankenposters.

Let’s take a look at version #1:

This ticks a lot of the “rom-com frankenposter” boxes, including:

Totally inconsistent lighting: Uma is being lit head on, Jeffrey Dean Morgan is being lit from the right (except for his arm, which is being lit from below?), and Colin Firth appears to be on a beach, staring into a sunset.

Nonsensical eyelines: Uma Thurman is staring at the camera with a confused expression, which is pretty standard. JDM’s got the “rakish love interest” side-eye going on, though to the poster’s credit, he does appear to be looking at Uma. Colin Firth is staring through Uma, as though her head were transparent.

Mannequin arms/hand fuckery: There’s no way either of those men’s arms is connected to his torso. And what the hell is going on with Colin Firth’s hand? It looks like one of those Barbie hands with the flexible wrists got stepped on.

Okay, let’s take a look at poster version #2…

Putting aside the question of why the men are presenting her with bridal bouquets (is that a thing now?), 

Totally inconsistent lighting: Once again, Uma is lit head-on with diffuse light. Jeffrey Dean Morgan is cast in shadow. Colin Firth is lit by a flashlight being held a foot away from his face.

Nonsensical eyelines: Here’s where the rakish side-eye becomes a problem, because Jeffrey Dean Morgan is supposedly standing behind Uma Thurman, so he’s just staring really intently at the back of her head. Colin Firth continues to find the horizon really fascinating.

Mannequin arms/bizarre proportions: Why is Colin’s hand/arm so tiny? If he straightened that out his hand would only come down to his belt.

But that’s nothing compared to…

Okay, let’s get this out of the way first. There’s no way either of them is going to catch her. They’ll just watch as she hits the… roof? between them, and then shrug at each other. Sorry, Uma, the only way you’re getting out of this situation is being scraped off the asphalt with a putty knife. (Also, if they’re on the roof of a tall building, where the hell is she falling from? Did she get tossed from a helicopter?)

Totally inconsistent lighting: both JDM and Colin Firth appear to be lit by Uma Thurman, who, in addition to being a terrible helicopter passenger, apparently also glows.

Nonsensical eyelines: Colin, what are you looking at? Also, side note, his face here is the exact same one they used in poster #1, and it doesn’t work in either of them, so why on earth did they have that photo in the first place? (Oh shit, you guys, is Colin’s character in this movie blind? That would explain a lot.)

Bizarre proportions: This time, Colin’s hands are too big. He could palm a bowling ball with those things.

Laws of physics? What are those? Assuming Uma has reached terminal velocity, there’s no way her skirt and hair would be billowing toward the ground. Her left shoe would have been a goner a long time ago. I’m impressed that she has the presence of mind to hold on to her bouquet and veil and look at the camera while falling to her death, although I might suggest a slight rearrangement of priorities.

Irresponsible use of landmarks: In reality, the Empire State Building and the Chrysler Building are only half a mile apart, whereas on this poster, one appears to be on the Upper West Side and the other appears to be in SoHo.

All right, that’s all for now. Stay tuned for more terribly-photoshopped rom-com posters!