good responses to "are you a boy or a girl"

sorry what? there’s a bee in my ear
• nnnnNnNnnNnNnnnnNNNNNnnnnn
• we’re sorry, this number is unavailable at this time. to leave a callback number, press 5. beep
• how did you get in my house
• point into the distance. do not say anything, and do not point at anything specific. just point.

You’re Absurd

PROMPT: “Person 1 is trying to work, but Person 2 wants attention so they sit on 1′s lap and make 1 work around them.” via @fanficspromptsandfun
PAIRINGS: Peter Parker x Reader
LENGTH: 426 Words
A/N: Hi everybody. My art program is coming to a close (the reason I haven’t been all that active over the past few months). I’m hoping to start writing again soon so look forward to fics and stuff from me! Send me requests!

Keep reading

Cuphead concept art though...

He sneaking


Kill it


<- Sometimes No wrist on gloves.

“Pls don’t take my bee syrup!”


He drank too many dizzy sodas.


“Are you jacking off Jonney?”

He has a normal amount of fingers wtf.


“Boi you wot?”

“Boi you wot?” 2.0



He looks like a doggy


Stag night

Sherlock x reader (sort of)

Note: I had so much fun to write this one guys xD thanks to the amazing @prettyxlittlexwriter for beta-reading again, have fun in kidnap land, and to @our-weirdstuff for requesting it (sort of), hope you’ll like it :)


My mobile buzzed on my bedside, set on vibration. I tried to ignore it for a moment groaning, my head hidden in my pillow.

It stopped.

And after a few seconds, it did it again. Groaning louder, I extended a hand and grabbed it, looking at the time as I unlocked the screen.

1: 54

One fifty-four in the freakin morning.


“This better be important…”

I answered in an husky and sleepy tone.

“Heyyyyyyy, Y/NNNNNNNNNNN!” spoke a drunken voice, cutting me off as I answered.
“John? Are you drunk?!”
“What? Who’s dat?” he asked surprised.

Another familiar voice spoke up from behind him, unintelligible, but still recognizable nonetheless.

“What? It’s me, Y/N! You just called me! Is that Sherlock in the back? Where are you? What’s going on?!” I inquired, more and more confused.

There was some vague noises of someone throwing up in the background and a faint “Oh my god…” from an unknown third voice. And then the only sound left was of someone breathing loudly in the phone.

“Hello? John? Someone’s there?” I asked, furrowing my brow into further confusion.

The breathing was getting creepier by each passing second.

“Please, answer me?”

Someone else took the phone.

“Hi, who’s there?” asked the unknown voice.
“Erm, Y/N Y/L/N.” I answered, unsure.
“Sorry to bother as early in the morning as this, but your two friends just got arrested and they asked to call you.”
“And they want me to bail them out… I’ll get dress and see what I can do.”

I hung up, perfectly aware of where I could find them.


A few minutes later I entered the police station, going straight to the main desk. The place was completely empty except for the officer who sat at said desk, but some babbling could still be heard from the corridor where the cells were.

“Are you the one supposed to pick-up the two drunks?” she asked, extenuated.

I frowned.

“Depends, may I see them first?” I asked.
“Beware they’re insufferable, if you can do something with them, I’ll worship you for the rest of my life.” she sighed, leading me to the cell.

At the very moment I stepped in it, I knew I had made the worst mistake possible. They were drunk. Hellishly drunk.

Laying on his stomach on a sort of bench (or at least something looking like it), Sherlock was ranting about the perfect setting for making toast, an arm hanging on the side, rocking back and forth as he looked to the ground. As for John, he was sitting on the floor, staring and the ceiling, completely silent, only humming in agreement or grunting in disagreement with Sherlock.

“ ‘Cause you see, if it’s too long, they’ll burn. And if they burn, well, they’re burnt. So the first reflex would be to reduce the time, but if you reduce it too much, then they’ll be to soft and soft toast are not toast. It’ just… erm just… what’s the name of untoasted toast again? Jawn what’s it’s name?”
“I dunt know.” mumbled John. “I think it’s end in ed or somefin… Bed? Head? Tread? Breed? Yeah I think it’s breed.”
“What.” I asked, torn between confusion and laughter.

The men turned to me and stared, completely confused, for almost an entire minute.

“Y/NNNNNNNNNNNN! You can’t be here you know? It’s Jawn’s stag party and women can’t come to stag party.” the detective told me, dead serious.

He got off the bench (well more like fell off…) and tried to stand up, zigzagging to me. He took me by my shoulders and tried to push me out of the cell.

“Psssssssssssh Y/N, don’t be a pest and get out!” he said. “Jawn. Jawn she wunt go. Help me. Jawn help me!”

His friend mumbled something, now asleep. I stepped aside and the blue-eyed man, with nothing to keep him from falling anymore, fell on the ground in a loud thud. I glanced at them and turned to the policewoman.

“You know what? You can keep them. They’re free.” I told her.
“Oh god no please, if I hear him ranting about toasts again I will loose my mind!”
“Anyway they’ll pay enough for it tomorrow.” I said, ignoring her comment as I left the cell and then the police station without any remorse.

time to test if this new ILLEGALLY DOWNLOADED PROGRAM works successfully *opens it and is immediately shot in the eye by a laser coming from my laptop camera* nnnnnnnnnnnn

Do You Trust Me? | Jimin

Originally posted by suga-com

Summary: You and Jimin have been dating for such a long time so a night on the town became something more
Genre: Smut, with a cuteness at the end
Pairing: Jimin x Reader
Words: 1023 (I’m sorry it’s short because I was in class writing it)

It began to rain you can feel yours and Jimin’s heartbeat getting faster and faster you wanted him so bad, and he wanted you as well. The nonstop kissing and caressing of your face, his hands between your thighs on the drive home. You wanted him so badly. You and Jimin manage to get to your front door when he pushes you against the door, he starts to suck on your neck and you can’t help but moan out loud.

“Fuck me” you moan. Jimin looks up with a devilish smile on his face.

“I’ll do more than just fuck you, you’re going to beg me stop when I’m finished with you.” Jimin whispers in your ear
“Good.” with a smirk across your face.

You feel is thicc hard dick in his skin tight jeans pressed up against your stomach. You reach down to grab it but something smacks you away.

“If you want me that bad open the door and I’ll give you what you want” jimin said as he bit into your neck

“O..ka..y” you moaned as you reached for the keys and opened the door.

You felt a sudden gush of wind, when you realized you’re being carried by Jimin running to your room..You see him and you just want jump on him and ride him until he screams your name. You were thrown on your own bed.

“y/n are you ready for this?” Jimin says in your ear. You nod yes while biting your lower lip. Suddenly your pants, shirt underwear, and bra come flying off.
“Yes Park Jimin” you scream. You feel his tongue slide down your stomach, then stop.

“You’re going to cum for me babygirl” Jimin says while unbuckling his belt.
You begin to bite your lips, you are ready for him to be inside you. You grab him by his hair, showing him you can’t take it anymore.

“You’re asking for it y/n” Jimin says under his breath.
You feel his hard dick get closer and closer to your opening, then you gasp he do big you feel him in you and your enjoying it.
“PARK JIMMMIIINNNNNN” you yell as you gasp for air

His hips thrusting and grinding into you. He lifts your legs onto his shoulders and you can be believe what’s going on.

“Cum for me babygirl” jimin moans
You climb your way on top of him and you begin to ride jimin.

“YYYYYYYY//////NNNNNNNNNNNN, I’M CLOSE KEEP GOING”  jimin screams out loud waking your neighbors.

“You feel so good daddy..” you say as you’re panting for air.
You slow down to catch a breath, you get pushed off the bed onto your knees. Jimin walks over.

Succ me dry” he bites his lip.
You gulp a huge wad of drool when you see Jimin’s dick.
“Happily..” you answer you grin.
It takes your up all the room in your  mouth, Jimin wants more so begins to thrust, you start to succ more and more, then you take it all in deepthroating, and massaging every part of his cock with your tongue.

“Oh my god y/n” Jimin says as he fills your mouth with his pride. You swallow with ease.
He picks you up onto the bed.

”your turn” he says kissing your forehead.

Kissing and licking every part of your body, first it was your neck then your chest then your stomach and now your thighs you feel him going farther and farther down your thighs. Then there it was, you feel his tongue make its way through your folds, then the sensation of his tongue going into you, make you grab his hair and tighten your thighs around his head. You’re just about there when he stops and jams right into you, making you lose your mind.

Daddy please more, more for your baby girl” you moan aloud.
“If you say so angel” he says, going faster, getting harder and harder.
Finally you get right to your spot and your legs wrap around Jimin.

“Daddy I’m okay now” you beg for relief.
He started to go faster and faster no matter how much you told him you came. Both of your heart beats getting faster, the faster Jimin went.

MARRY ME Y/N” Jimin shouts
YES..” you moan as you cum for second time and you feel him fill you once more. Your chimchim falls next to you tired ready to sleep.

“Good night I love you” he says tiredly falling asleep
“I…lo…ve…y..ou..too” you answer back.

*next morning*

You slept in not knowing that jimin woke up early to get breakfast, and a surprise.

“Baby I’m back wake up so you can eat” jimin says kissing your forehead
“Babe but I’m tired 5 more minutes” you told him
“Okay fine but you won’t get breakfast and the surprise” he was with the tone of his voice changing
“Jimin if it’s your cock I’ll get it later” you say sarcastically
“Baby no just wake up so you can see what it is” he begs
You finally get up after 10 minutes of Jimin asking you to get out of bed

“y/n I love you very much and the way I asked you last night wasn’t they way I should’ve asked you now stand up *you stood up wondering why he was on his knee* now y/n I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want to have more nights like last night. Do you trust me?” he asks with little bits of sweat on his forehead.

“Yes ChimChim I trust you” you say restlessly

“Okay *he pulls out a beautiful diamond ring* y/n will you marry me?” he asks  nervously
“YES!” you respond with a smile
He puts the ring on your finger and picks you up and throws you on the bed.

“You’re going to be my wife soon, so I think we should continue what happened last night” he says while taking off his shirt and gets on top of you.
“Daddy you can jim-in whenever you want” you laugh.

You curl back on top of him. “baby girl I guess I can” he chuckles 

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this! This is my first anything to be honest, so please be kind. You request anything my request box is open. I wrote this in my aquatics class ha, and well yeah. Thank you! xoxo

anonymous asked:

I wanted to read your fic on your blog but i kept getting distracted (ifyouknowwhatimean *COUGHHIPTHRUSTINGGINTOKICOUGH*)

I KNOW THE FEELING LOLOL I changed my bg for a bit because I’ve had to go there searching for things and I literally get nothing done when I’m there. Thrusting Gintoki IS NOT FAIR! So, I put up some Ginbelly so it’s nice and easy on the eyes. PLUS YOU KNOW THE GINBELLY