nipple gate

The nipple gate: solved

First of all, tHIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS OKaY?

Now, as a humble person who passed a lot of their free time gawking analizing the anatomy of Liam’s chest, I think I was one of the few that realized that the lipple was indeed there, hidden from the view, cuz it’s a really shy lipple. But as I know there’s a lot of sceptical people around the world, I decided to make another post about the lipple. Only for scientyfical purposes, you see.

Add a raised arm, a bit of shadow and TADA:

His nipples are wallayed (btw, thanks for that word @liamziamniam). So, they’re there, a bit shy, hidden from our prying eyes, but they’re there, as they should be.

And I DID NOT just wanted an excuse to post some shirtless Lima, ok??? Ok.

The signs as shit my squad has said in the group chat:

Aries:
“i support her in her murderous endeavors”
“;/ don’t you tell me how to hoe”
“Call yourself daddy one more time and I will actually leave you”

Taurus:
“My entire life is problematic tbh”  
“I will suck Nintendo’s dick for this”
“lord daddy goes full mast when I’m around ^o^”

Gemini:
“also fuck u for not caring about me tf”
“that’s p mad fuckin gay, son”
“I love you, you piece of shit”

Cancer:
“i found a toonie the other day on the sidewalk and i felt like bill gates”
“my nipples are aggressive; my nipples are like knives”
“sorry i don’t like to complain, but one of your chef’s dicks is in my food”

Leo:
“sorry I punched your tv”
“Me @ men; I’m going to steal your girlfriend”
“I used to look hella fucking str8”

Virgo:
“Thank god for dads; said no one ever”
“i wanna cum so hard my spirit is ejected instead”
“babe do not call your cooch leonard i will actually cry”

Libra:
“fuck u i’ll spoil my own damn self i don’t need no splenda daddy”
“if i don’t do a wambo cambo i will punch myself in the dick”
“what age do you learn to eat ass?”

Scorpio:
“sonic can fuck off about my sex life”
“it warms the cockles of my heart”
“i divorced a girl over wieners and i would do it again”

Sagittarius:
“even if i die i will resurrect myself for cummies”
“our first boob touch is a v important part of my life”
“then again ken’s a lesbian with a daddy”

Capricorn:
“Thanks whites u saved us; said no one ever”
“I cant believe y’all would kinkshame me like this”
“I gotta get the green to buy my greens ya feel”

Aquarius:
“Well fuck me with a steel pole”
“I will quietly read while they get groped by old men and listen to shitty pop music”
(“I was trying to be a good friend.”
Me mouth full of pudding, “I DON’T NEED THAT RIGHT NOW.”)

Pisces:
“those are some janky tiddies”
“I don’t have a problem with Bob Barker, I just think that he’s probably not a human”
“yaaaaas ratboy jesus churn butter in my ass”

Super Bowl XLVIII: Bruno Mars’ rise to halftime star

bmars-news:

Bruno Mars, a star with extraordinary appeal, is set to entertain the crowds at the big game’s halftime show. These performances always feature medleys and – even with just two albums – Mars has enough likable material to fit the bill. 

Bruno Mars has something for almost everyone watching the game. 

Finding the right halftime star isn’t as easy as it looks. You need a star with mass appeal, someone who has something for everyone.

It’s a role Bruno Mars was born to play. He’s a classic people-pleaser, a willing throwback to the kind of all-around entertainer the world hasn’t seen in so gleaming and eager a package since prime Michael Jackson.

Like Jackson, Mars has talents that span many disciplines. He can sing. He can dance. He can play multiple instruments. He’s even funny. When he both hosted and served as musical guest on “Saturday Night Live” last year, he killed the comedy skits. He also proved himself a great mimic, mirroring the vocal styles of a host of other pop stars.

Vocally, Mars’ timbre has a lot in common with — you guessed it — a young Michael Jackson. As with M.J., Mars’ songs can seem both vintage and modern, mainstream and edgy. At the same time, Bruno’s vocals balance sweetness with sting, while his look, and character, straddles the earthy and the exotic.

Mars also broadens the ethnicity of the halftime stars. Born Peter Hernandez in Hawaii, he has a Filipino mother and Puerto Rican father born in Brooklyn. Halftime shows always feature medleys, the better to touch on as many hits as possible in a tight 15-minute display. Even with just two albums out, Mars has a wealth of likable smashes to draw from.

His first two singles, “Just the Way You Are” and “Grenade,” both reached No. 1, in the States and elsewhere. The third single off his debut, “The Lazy Song,” went Top 10. From the latest album, the songs “Locked Out of Heaven” and “When I Was Your Man” both topped the U.S. charts and went Top Ten worldwide. A third song, “Treasure,” became a Top Five American hit.

Mars’ recent Moonshine Jungle tour sold out arenas around the country in 2012 and ’13. It returns for a new leg, with Pharrell Williams as his guest, starting the week after the Super Bowl. Just-announced dates are set for Madison Square Garden July 13 and 14. The anointment of Bruno Mars as the halftime headliner has a generational significance as well. It marks the first time in 13 years the NFL has trusted anyone under 30 to steer the big event. Even his young predecessors — former teenybop acts N’ Sync and Britney Spears — weren’t the sole headliners of their 2001 gig. They had to be balanced out, and share equal billing, with certified oldsters Aerosmith.

In that sense, 28-year-old Mars stands as the youngest artist ever to serve as the unquestioned halftime star attraction. (His guests — the Red Hot Chili Peppers — have an average age of 50, but that band is a side act to Mars.) He follows last year’s youthquake when Beyoncé served halftime queen.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers will play as a side act to Mars during the big show.

This one-two punch represents a dramatic turnaround from the six-year string of classic rock halftime headliners that dominated the last decade. The ages of the stars in that period ranged from 40s (Prince, in 2007) to 60s (Paul McCartney, in 2005).

The obsession with AARP-friendly fare came after “nipple-gate” in 2004, when then 37-year-old Janet Jackson introduced the term “wardrobe malfunction” to a supposedly appalled public.

The string of older stars that followed certainly did their part to boost both the show’s ratings and their credibility. The 2012 event — featuring 53-year-old Madonna — drew the highest ratings in halftime history, with 114 million viewers. That was a full 3 million more than for the game itself.

Mars’ relatively tender age isn’t his only rare quality in the heady realm of halftime stars. As famous and popular as he may be, his career is still on the upswing. Most musicians toplining the entertainment portion of the Super Bowl show have long ago peaked.

But Mars has just two albums. His latest, “Unorthodox Jukebox,” became the fifth-biggest-selling album of the last year, with total sales approaching 1.9 million. And that figure measures a portion of its popularity. A British company, Musicmetric, somehow calculated that “Jukebox” enjoyed the dubious distinction of being this year’s most stolen piece of music. Mars has the chance to enter the Super Bowl next week with the freshest possible boost. He’s nominated for four awards at Sunday’s Grammys. They include two top prize bids, for Record and Song of the Year, both for “Locked Out of Heaven.”