My Impressions Of “Legend of Zelda: Breathe of the Wild” So Far
The rain is kind of relaxing to listen to, unless you’ve fallen off a cliff and didn’t get a recent enough autosave, so you have to sit there for TWENTY MINUTES AUGH RAIN IS SO ANNOYING
Literally nothing is as terrifying in this game as the lightning. NOTHING.
These are the best vidya game horses that have ever been vidya gamed.
Why did you have to ask for 10 Restless Crickets? I NEVER SEE THEM UNTIL THEY FLY AWAY UGH
Sometimes the puzzles seem to simple, sometimes they make me feel clever, and sometimes I look them up online and facepalm because of COURSE that is what I was supposed to do.
If cooking were this fun in real life, I would never stop. So instead I will cook for an hour at this campfire.
Also I got an edible (albeit dubious) dish by placing several Guardian screws and other metal parts in the pot. Conclusion: Link is a robot.
I love the idea that the durian fruit being so awesome in this game will cause unknowledgable youngsters to try eating it in real life. Hahahaha the naive fools
How the crap do the Octoroks always know where I will be when they shoot, NO VIDYA GAME MONSTER SHOULD HAVE SUCH GOOD AIM
The stamina wheel needs to be longer. *upgrades it* The stamina wheel needs to be longer. *upgrades it*
The stamina wheel needs to be longer. “But wouldn’t you like a heart-” Look, until I can climb this entire mountain unaided, the stamina wheel needs to be longer.
The Rubber Helm looks like a fish eating Link’s head. Best. Armor. EVER.
WHAT THE CRAP THE HINOX JUST PHASED THROUGH THE TREES LIKE A GHOST I MEAN EVEN IF THEY DON’T SLOW HIM DOWN THAT SEEMS EXCESSIVE
Uuuuugh it’s raining agaaaain why must this rainforest jungle be so realistic 8l
Blessedly, the Blood Moon doesn’t respawn enemies in a camp while you are in it. Because if they had come back right after I’d spent half an hour destroying that one camp I would have been TICKED
FREAKIN’ OP CENTAURS
*takes 8 million snapshots of low-flying serpenty glowy dragons* THESE ARE SO PRETTY now if only they’d stop dropping balls of elemental pain
I know there are a limited number of buttons on this controller but it’d be great if I stopped crouching and/or using my telescope during important fights to the death.
Look I’m SORRY I’m such a terrible rider, horse, but if you could stop bolting at the slightest sign of bad guys until I can get you to the stables, that would be great- okay nevermind he’s gone.
I should really head towards the next story point. *spends two hours reaching a shrine* Okay now I’ll definitely head out. *detours into swamp ruins* Right it’s getting late better start now. *explores half a map section on the opposite side of where she’s supposed to be going*
WILL YOU PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF MY SANITY STOP RAINING I’M CLINGING TO THE SIDE OF A 60-FOOT CLIFF HERE
(NOTE: I freaking love this game and this is meant largely in satire, in case anyone gets the idea to rail on me for complaining. XD Lemme know if I should do a Part 2)