ninja boi

Can we discuss an AU where Connor and Evan are childhood friends, please???

I’m not talking about TB or anything, I just want some innocent, happy children being children and not feeling quite as alone their whole lives. Because they have each other to talk to, even about the bad stuff.

Think about how nice it would be for Heidi and Cynthia to hang out like Friend Moms™ while their boys play Ninja Turtles and Super Heroes.

Imagine Connor noticing that Evan has a crush on his sister and being like “ew gross”, and teasing him about it every time the subject comes up.

And when they get older, Connor and Evan could vent to each other over the phone about how their therapy sessions went. Maybe when Evan just happens to mention (casually, over text) that his mom can’t come home for dinner, Connor just texts back “I’m coming over” and heads on over to keep his friend company. And maybe, just maybe, Evan would be able to persuade Connor out of turning to drugs.

I mean, obviously friendship doesn’t automatically fix EVERYTHING, but how nice would it be for the both of them to finally have someone to lean on?

RECOMMENDED ANIME FOR ADULTS

Some killer titles for the curious (and legal) anime fan:

AKIRA (in Japanese) Katsuhiro Otomo

PRINCESS MONONOKE (Neil Gaiman scripted dub) Hayao Miyazaki

MEMORIES Katsuhiro Otomo

GHOST IN THE SHELL (original in Japanese) Mamoru Oshii

JIN ROH (in Japanese) Hiroyuki Okiura

BEAUTIFUL DREAMER (in English) Mamoru Oshii, Rumiko Takahashi

WINGS OF HONNEAMISE (in Japanese) Gainax

BLOOD: THE LAST VAMPIRE (in Japanese) Hiroyuki Kitakubo

COWBOY BEBOP (in English)  Shinichirō Watanabe

THE GRAVE OF THE FIREFLIES (In Japanese) Hayao Miyazaki

FUTURE BOY CONAN (in Japanese) Hayao Miyazaki

GALAXY EXPRESS 999 (in English) Leiji Matsumoto

KIKI’S DELIVERY SERVICE (in English or Japanese) Hayao Miyazaki

VAMPIRE HUNTER D (Original, in Japanese) Hideyuki Kikuchi 

MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO (in Japanese or English) Hayao Miyazaki

NINJA SCROLL (in English or Japanese) Yoshiaki Kawajiri

WICKED CITY (in English or Japanese) Hideyuki Kikuchi 

STREET FIGHTER II: ANIMATED MOVIE (in English or Japanese) 

PARANOIA AGENT (English or Japanese) Satoshi Kon

PERFECT BLUE (in Japanese) Satoshi Kon

TOKYO GODFATHERS (in Japanese) Satoshi Kon

THE END OF EVANGELION (in Japanese) Gainax

PAPRIKA (in Japanese) Satoshi Kon

TOKYO GODFATHERS (in Japanese) Satoshi Kon

SERIAL EXPERIMENTS LAIN (in Japanese) Ryutaro Nakamura

METROPOLIS (in English or Japanese) Osamu Tezuka Remake

SPIRITED AWAY (in Japanese) Hayao Miyazaki

NAUSSICA VALLEY OF THE WIND (in Japanese) Hayao Miyazaki

Some of these titles are originally for younger audiences, but are listed because their merit and/or vintage also appeals to mature audiences. 

ALRIGHT MY DUDES I’M NOT GONNA BORE YOU WITH THE RABBIT HOLE I WENT DOWN TO FIND THIS BUT JUST LOOK AT IRL KEITH

His name is Ernie Reyes Jr. but he played a character named Keno (KENO?? KEITH?? COINCIDENCE?? I THINK NOT) in the 1991 movie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (again, don’t ask how I got here)

He’s a pizza delivery boy that gets caught up in turtle shenanigans and literally only exists for one movie but please just look at him.

The black t-shirt, the bright red jacket, tHE MULLET. Did I also mention he’s Filipino because I could go for some Filipino!Keith headcanons like sign me the fuck up

AND WHAT’S THIS??? Have you always wanted to know what Keith would look like reacting to meeting cryptids irl well HERE YOU FUCKING GO. THROWBACK TO THE OG CRYPTIDS OF MY CHILDHOOD: GIANT RATMAN AND HIS GREEN DISCIPLES

Here’s him ready to fight a bitch in a tank top because he loves fisticuffs and is a hella good martial artist. Within the first like four minutes of the movie, he sees these dudes robbing a store and goes up to them ALONE telling them “you’re under arrest” HOLDING A BUNCH OF PIZZAS and attempts to take all of them out alone. I mean he beats the shit out of them but like then a bunch more guys come running out and then he’s like oH SHIT I DIDNT THINK THIS THROUGH but luckily the turtles come to save his ass.

Did I also mention that out of all the turtles he is most similar to Raphael? The red turtle. The most impatient and impulsive turtle. Always ready to fight. PLEASE. Also Raphael doesn’t really like him at first but then Keno suggests he use himself as bait to find the baddies and suddenly Raphael is like “I hate to agree with him but he’s gotta point.” So even though Splinter is like “TOO DANGEROUS” the two of them break off from the rest of the team and do the mission anyways (um) and accidentally find The Big Bad™ (uM) and then get into hot shit (UM) and Raphael sacrifices himself for Keno (UMMMMMMMMMM). But don’t worry Keno brings everyone back to save him.

And then later there’s a scene where Splinter tries to teach him how to meditate but Keno physically can’t do it and runs off to fight instead because fuck patience he needs to kick something. Here’s this idiot literally back flipping onto the stage to fight Shredder one-on-one like wtf he’s so extra™

He also had an action figure even though he was only in one movie and HOLY SHIT THIS IS MORE KEITH LIKE THAN THE KEITH ACTION FIGURE????

In conclusion: WHAT THE FUCK WAS KEITH DOING WITH THE NINJA TURTLES IN 1991?? IDK BUT I FOUND HIM

Bonus: Keno sticking his leggy out