So, a number of people have been asking me to give an explanation behind the EP title, Modern Love. I felt like this title summed up the music i’ve been working on best because it kind of left it up to the listener to decide what it was about, because to me it has a few different representations. Modern Love to me represents the difference between this generation and the generation my parents are from. I think a lot of my parents generation were strong believers in the; go to school, go to university, get a job, find a partner, get married, have kids. Especially coming from a village outside Edinburgh, this is the mentality I grew up around. And it’s great that people want to do that. But, I always felt like I didn’t quite fit in to that path. The thought of having my whole life planned out for me didn’t seem quite right. The thought of waking up every morning and knowing exactly what i’m doing for the rest of that month makes me feel completely trapped. The thought of working for a company that I don’t give a shit about for the rest of my life would send me insane. And the thought of finding the one i’m going to marry as a teenager and staying with them forever doesn’t appeal to me anymore. I might just be a complete weirdo but it’s best to honest right?
Living in London has opened my eyes to so much. I have come from quite a sheltered upbringing. At the school I went to, about 95% of the pupils were of a white Scottish background. Being ‘gay’ was seen as a weakness and the word was used as an insult. When I started singing online people said ‘i was full of myself and couldn’t sing’ and I was stupid for leaving school, taking a risk, and pursuing my dream. Having a long term boyfriend who happened to be in the public eye made me a ’slut’ and people would shout at me on the street. I remember a guy in my year used to come in to school wearing stiletto high heels and make up, the boys used to bully him for it, when all he was doing was being himself. I loved my upbringing and i love the place I come from, nowhere can compare, but I don’t understand the mindset where the minute anyone is slightly different, or taking a risk out of the normal cycle, they get punished for it.
Although I have missed Scotland a lot (the people, chips and the fresh air), London has been an amazing place to live for the past 3 years. It’s not all fairies and roses, for sure, but it’s a place where everyone can be whoever they want to be. They can start again, they can change drastically without anyone judging them, and what I love most, London is so diverse. There are people from all over the world living here. We’re home to every sexuality, culture, personality, occupation etc. Majority of people are here because they want to be successful and it’s inspiring to be around. Almost everyone has a different story and comes from a different place. People’s differences have become their attributes because it’s what differentiates them from everyone else. People are not living by the book here, they’re making up their own rules, and their own lives. It’s a very independent and exciting city.
I’ve spent the past two years being alone and having no desire to have a relationship. I’ve been completely focussed on my music, my friends, being shamelessly selfish and going out a lot. I remember being around 13, and being so desperate to find ‘the one’ and be with him for the rest of my life. After having my heart broken a couple times my outlook completely changed. I definitely don’t give myself away easily to people anymore and i know that i could be alone forever and still be happy if i needed to be. I think it’s great to experience transient relationships when you’re in your teens and 20s, or at any age really. It teaches you so much about yourself and about others, what you don’t need and what you want. The way I see love now, is me still being independent and on my own, but with someone who treats me right and makes me happy. Love is no longer something that treats me like shit and makes me miserable. Another thing i’ve noticed about my friends here is that they are so confident about experimenting with their sexuality, which is great. I think it’s important to experiment if you feel like you want to do that. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s something to be embraced. I feel like in the past few years it’s very much been about people loving each other, without the labels. Or girls in particular, being empowered now to act the same as men when it comes to single life.
So yeah, hope the explains a bit about why I decided on the title Modern Love. The message of it is basically to be yourself, love yourself and do what YOU want to do with your life and your relationships.
I didn’t want to be seen as that girl that sang on YouTube, that girl that did covers. I wanted to be known for my own stuff and start being more of a proper musician and be taken more seriously. I wanted the first thing people saw to be my own music.