A Funny Thing Happened While Walking Through the Arboretum
The weeping willow said
She isn’t really depressed
Like everyone thinks, “Y'know,
I’m just grown this way.
Ever hear of resting sad leaves?”
The elm complained that,
Thanks to a certain horror movie
Franchise, his reputation is
A nightmare, wondering, “Why didn’t
They choose Oak Street instead?”
The oak shouted, “I heard that!
I think they picked perfectly.
Nothing says scary
More than an elm!”
The spruce mumbled,
“The spruce goose
Got loose and was looking
To roost, so I said ‘vamoose!’”
The others sighed,
“We never know what she’s saying.”
The pine moaned, “I wish I knew
Where the spring went.”
When having it pointed out
That it’s still quite spring,
He replied, “Yes, but not forever.
And I miss it already.”
The magnolia cried, “Why, I declare!
All this fussin’ and cussin’
Is leavin’ me blushin’! Is that any
Way to behave around a delicate
The peach tree groused,
“I’m southern too, and even I
Think your sanity is
Gone with the wind!”
The trees were all atwitter,
With a titter here and there
A pitter of senseless prattle,
But one thing they all agree on:
“Keep away, stinkin’ caterpillars!”