Well this is disappointing. As the X-Men brand grew in popularity, the continuity became significantly more complex, to the point where Chris Claremont’s editors were threatening in print to murder him. But regardless, up until this very issue, you could always find a place in the timeline for every story, even if that sequence differed from the order in which the comic books were published. This is the first issue that doesn't fit into the continuity without problems. This issue needs to take place before Mutant Massacre starts in Uncanny X-Men #210 because Kitty, Colossus, and Nightcrawler all sustain serious injuries in that event but they are in perfect health here. However, this is also the issue where Longshot joins the team, and he doesn’t appear in Uncanny X-Men until after Mutant Massacre is over. It doesn’t make sense why we wouldn’t see Longshot at the school while Mutant Massacre is going on, but even if you argue he's just upstairs sleeping or something, there are still other problems. If this issue takes place just after the fight with Nimrod in Uncanny X-Men #209 and just before the start of Mutant Massacre in Uncanny X-Men #210, then Nightcrawler should not be present because he almost gets disintegrated and goes missing during the fight with Nimrod. If this issue takes place before the fight with Nimrod it would have to be between Uncanny X-Men #206 and Uncanny X-Men #207 since the X-Men moved back from San Francisco to New York in between those issues, but if that’s the case Wolverine would still be suffering from the injuries he received from Lady Deathstrike in Uncanny X-Men #205. Officially, I think this issue is said to take place just after Uncanny X-Men #210 which is the first issue of Mutant Massacre, because Nightcrawler is found and brought back to the mansion in that issue, but he’s seriously injured and shouldn’t be able to teleport as easily as he does here. And though it might make sense that the events in this issue could take place over the course of the night when the Marauders first attack the Morlocks in the New York sewers (which is occuring between Uncanny X-Men #210 and #211), I’m not going to wait to cover this issue until then because once Mutant Massacre gets going I won’t want to get sidetracked. So, we are going to do this one now. Oh, and in other news, after tracking all this shit down it’s obvious I have no fucking life. (X-Men Annual #10 – 1986)
My Top 10 “Spider-Man is an awesome bad ass and owns in a fight” Moments
These are my top 10 favourite moments where Spider-Man is a total BOSS in a fight. These aren’t all the best fights he’s been in and they aren’t in order of any kind of quality. These are just my faves. Don’t expect anything high brow here. This is about blood pumping testosterone laced action. Let’s go.
10: Spectacular Spider-Man #250: Spider-Man vs Norman Osborn
This one is very nostalgic for me as it’s the lynchpin of my favourite era (and possibly run) on Spider-Man. Fundamentally though I like it because it is Spider-Man letting rip on the guy he hates the most when he’s been pushed to the limits. Despite it’s consequences it is cathartic to see.
9: Amazing Spider-Man #230: Spider-Man vs Juggernaut
Possibly the most famous Spider-Man fight of all time. You know the set up surely. Spider-Man is tough but Juggernaut is in another league and Spider-Man can’t hurt him. He’s tried his best to stop a guy who’s super power is literally being unstoppable. He’s tried hitting him, he’s tried, webbing him up, he’s tried blowing him up with a gas truck. Nothing works. But ol’ Spidey doesn’t give up and eventually he finds a way to stop the unstoppable. HE’S THE SPIDER-MAN BITCH!
8: Peter Parker: the Spectacular Spider-Man #110: Spider-Man vs Sin Eater
This fight is awesome just because in the wake of killing a load of people (including his friend Jean DeWolff) Spider-Man has had enough of Sin Eater’s $*** and let’s him have it. To give you an idea of how badly he kicks this guy’s ass, Sin Eater is crippled after this.
7: Amazing Spider-Man Volume 2 #35: Spider-Man vs Morlun
In something of a homage to the Juggernaut battle, Spider-Man has spent several issues throwing everything he can against the mystical villain Morlun. Nothing works, but what’s worse with Morlun is that he’s actually attempting to devour Spider-Man as part of his mystic lunch, so Spidey is fighting for his life and running scared. Between being effectively cornered and Morlun killing his new friend Ezekiel, Spider-Man takes desperate measures and takes a second dose of radiation. This does the trick because now Morlun can’t stomach him anymore and the tables are turned. No longer running scared and with Morlun’s invincibility gone Spidey puts this sucker down hard and has him terrified for his own life.
6: Amazing Spider-Man #33: Spider-Man vs the Master Planner’s Goons
I love this fight despite it being an overlooked part of the seminal Master Planner Trilogy. Spider-Man has had it rougher than usual in the past few issues. His debut at College has resulted in everyone hating him, his Aunt is dying because of him, he’s torn the criminal underworld apart trying to find the guys who took the only thing which can save her, he’s swam deep beneath the New York river, he’s battled a load of goons, he’s battled Doctor Octopus and he’s been buried under a ton of metal debris with water rapidly spilling in preparing to drown him. Now I’m sure we all remember the iconic scene where Spider-Man overcomes the debris and finds the inner strength he needs to triumphantly lift the burden off his back. Well by this part of the story he’s pretty exhausted but things don’t let up. He’s swam to the surface only to be met by a horde of Doc Ock’s goons.
You’d think this would be too much for Peter. He’s mentally and physically exhausted. Surely he can’t beat all these guys? Well he does. In fact he not only beats them, but he’s so bad ass he let’s them beat him in order to recover some of his strength. And then he proceeds to fight so hard he not only K.O.s all of the goons but he does so without even realising.
5: Peter Parker: the Spectacular Spider-Man #75: Spider-Man vs Doctor Octopus
Ah, another iconic moment where Spider-Man is just tired of your $***. Doc Ock’s injured Spidey’s latest squeeze the Black Cat and tried to nuke New York City itself. And so Spidey does what he should’ve done a long ass time ago and rips off Doc Ock’s arms!!!!! Do I need to elaborate on how f***ing cool that is? He literally just disarmed the guy.
4: Amazing Spider-Man #270: Spider-Man vs Firelord
This is arguably the best retelling of the Juggernaut concept except in some ways it takes things up to an 11. Firelord is a Herald of Galactus. In case you don’t know that means he is a cosmically powered powerhouse cut from the same cloth as the Silver Surfer. This guy can tangle with the big guns. He can survive in open space. He smashes meteors.
He’s been chasing Spider-Man all over town for some dumb misunderstanding and after dropping a building on him and blowing up a gas station around him has failed Spider-Man has simply lost his rag and proceeds to hit Firelord hard with everything he’s got. And like the Master Planner’s goons before him he doesn’t even realise how strong he is or how badly he’s kicked Firelord’s ass because he needs to be told he’s already won the battle.
Little old solo Spider-Man just did what it’d take the entire Fantastic Four to do.
3: Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars #3: Spider-Man vs the X-Men
Until a few years ago I merely enjoyed this fight but overlooked it. It was pointed out to me a while ago though that actually this is a pretty amazing show of force by Spider-Man.
The X-Men are super stars in the Marvel Universe. Back when Secret Wars was published in the early-mid 1980s, they were a hot property and no physical push over as a super hero team.
Cyclops can punch a hole through a mountain with his optic blasts
Storm is a veritable goddess who commands the weather itself
Nightcrawler is more agile than an acrobat and can teleport in the blink of an eye
Colossus has immense super strength and invulnerability
Rogue (at this point in time) could fly, was super strong, had a degree of invulnerability and can practically kill with a touch
Professor X can read and control minds
And then you’ve got Wolverine, a poster child for bad ass, with unbreakable bones, a healing factor, animal keen senses a feral rage he can fly into and of course those six razor sharp lethal claws which have slashed many an unfortunate S.O.B. asunder.
Spider-Man solos them in three pages.
He fights smart and he fights fast.
He disables the power houses and the telepaths
He, dodges lightning
He moves faster than the guy who can teleport
And he swats away the most popular X-Man as an afterthought
To make matters more impressive even the X-Men themselves are commenting on how much of a total f***ing boss Spider-Man was in this fight. Nightcrawler literally says ‘he’s awesome’ and the leader of the X-Men plus the single most bad ass member who’s extremely short on compliments (especially when it comes to brawlers) even say they were lucky Spider-Man didn’t own them harder.
It gets more awe inspiring when you consider he was just trying to teach them a quick lesson then move on, he wasn’t really trying all that hard.
2: Amazing Spider-Man #542: Spider-Man vs the Kingpin
*gurgling noises* This…This fight man. God I love this. Would you believe I despised this issue, this arc, this whole damn era when it was first put out back in 2007? Well hindsight has prompted me to give at least this issue a re-read and I’m slapping myself now because this is a true classic.
Kingpin is a awesome villain. He is.
Part of what makes Kingpin so compelling as a villain is he’s powerful without being super powered, yet he’s still a physical powerhouse amongst normal human beings.
He’s arguably Daredevil’s arch nemesis and it was kind of Spider-Man to farm him out to old Hornhead because bless him he doesn’t have too many villains of the same calibre as Spidey.
As much as I love Kingpin for being such a bastard I do wish at times to see him get his cummuppence. I wish he’d get knocked off his perch but alas that doesn’t happen too often since a big part of his concept is that he is untouchable. In particular he’s pushed and mocked and gotten under Spider-Man’s skin quite a few times in their storied history together.
And when push comes to shove Kingpin is still a Spider-Man villain when needs be as he proved in Civil War. After Peter revealed his identity to the world Kingpin wasted little time in putting out a hit on Peter’s family. Thus a gunman targeted Mary Jane but hit Aunt May instead.
Unfortunately for Kingpin he was criminally narrowminded about a few things.
That Spider-Man might actually be itching to screw him over as much or more than he was itching to screw Spidey over
That Spider-Man has actual super powers and ultimately he doesn’t
That you do not mess with Spider-Man’s family (unless you’re Norman Osborn and even then it’s not a good idea)
And so Kingpin, cocky bastard that he is, prepares to humiliate Spider-Man in physical combat, or at least show him up for the fool he was in trusting the system and allowing his loved ones to come to harm. As far as he’s concerned Spider-Man is an impotent lily white idealistic hero, who’s childishly gotten upset about his mama being hurt. So he puts on a show by donning his classic white business suit to show Spider-Man just how untouchable he is. Showing him how even in prison he’s still powerful and can do whatever he wants and there is nothing Spider-Man can do about it. Kingpin is just about ready to show Peter this and give him a beating as he’s done in the past when…he learns a lesson…
This list is about my favourite moments from Spider-Man fights but even so….this is more than likely THE single greatest beat down in any Spider-Man comic ever. He takes Kingpin apart physically and mentally by humiliating him and showing him that actually his assessment of him is a zillion miles off. He shows everyone (including the readers) just how much of a bad ass he can be when he doesn’t hold back, and how when all is said and done Kingpin is a whale sized piece of crap compared to him, and that Spidey could actually own Fisk however and whenever he wants to. He just doesn’t because he’s usually so nice.
What more can you say about a comic where Spider-Man is literally (and repeatedly) bitch slapping the so called ‘untouchable’ King of Crime?
1: Peter Parker: Spider-Man #75: Spider-Man vs the Green Goblin
This is unquestionably my #1 pick. I will admit there are elements which are derivative of other stories. I will admit this isn’t as awesome as the Kingpin fight.
The thing is though…This sums up Spider-Man for me.
It’s not just that it’s bad ass
It’s not just that it gets to the core of the super hero genre with the hero battling his arch nemesis
It’s not just that it’s the best Spider-Man villain ever or that it’s so personal
It’s because this fight, this issue, this story encapsulates so much of Spider-Man’s mythology and who he is.
It’s him never giving up, never refusing to lay down and die. It’s the Goblin (and all the villains) never truly understanding that they honestly can’t beat him. No matter what powers they possess no matter how horrible their schemes are they cannot beat him. Because his inner strength, his will, his desire to survive and his goddam humanity and heroism is always going to pull through.
I love this moment and think it’s the most bad ass moment of Spider-Man ever (at least in a fight) because I sincerely do not think he’s ever been as heroic as he is here.
I find the moments from this fight are the ones which remind me why I love Spider-Man so much.
IS BRINGING BACK MY FAVORITE X-MAN THEY’RE BRINGING BACK NIGHTCRAWLER I WAS BASICALLY IN TEARS WHEN I SAW THE TRAILER OH MY GOD LIKE I WASN’T EVEN MAD WHEN THEY DIDN’T PLAY TMNT 2 BECAUSE IT’S BEEN CONFIRMED THAT NIGHTCRAWLER IS RETURNING.
This has been cooking in my brain for a while, and @kurtworthingtoniii reminded me of it:
In which Apocalypse won, Warren was brought back, and the X Kids were taken prisoners to be kept silent and weak as the horsemen ruled over the planet.
So as you can guess- Warren develops a weird, possessive obsession with Kurt.
Let’s….. do thisssss. (WARNINGS: cussing, minor violence, nudity, and some emotionally confused Warren)
Warren never would have thought it.
He never would have guessed he’d find himself living in the temple of an Egyptian God with bladed wings and the world at his feet.
But here he was- reborn and a prince to the castle.