night of the second day

6

cut content - germ’s gramma

When you only heard 30 seconds of a song and you are 100% positive you will love this band forever. 

“What if the moon is in love with the sun? What if the sun is also in love with the moon? But it’s a forbidden love. Between them, love is not as powerful as it is between two people– What if that’s the reason why we have night and day because they keep on chasing each other, every second, every minute– Isn’t it sad to think that if they’re really in love, it’s sad to see and to think that they’re really not meant to be together.” She said while looking in the beautiful twilight.
 
He looked at her watching the soft glowing light from the sun and said, “Well, it’s not that sad. You see, they found a way to meet twice a day. The Sun And Moon make love in the dawn and dusk– and I think that’s beautiful.”
—  L., Moon Chasing The Sun
What if the moon is in love with the sun? What if the sun is also in love with the moon? But it’s a forbidden love. Between them, love is not as powerful as it is between two people– What if that’s the reason why we have night and day because they keep on chasing each other, every second, every minute– Isn’t it sad to think that if they’re really in love, it’s sad to see and to think that they’re really not meant to be together.” She said while looking in the beautiful twilight.
He looked at her watching the soft glowing light from the sun and said, “Well, it’s not that sad. You see, they found a way to meet twice a day. The Sun And Moon make love in the dawn and dusk– and I think that’s beautiful.
—  @lunaloveswolf

8:52pm (Artemis)

Do you ever wonder about souls? Surely we too have them. How corrupt they must be, twisted and torn, riddled in pride and dishonesty. Unsent: We do have them. I feel mine, and how it’s twisted and bent into something unrecognizable

9:00pm (Apollo)

You think too much.


2:37 am (Artemis)

I passed someone today; his eyes looked like the moon in shades of blue. Unsent: It made me think of mistakes, and how mistakes become scars. I’d like one, maybe two cut, across my chest. It might help me separate what is real and what is not

2:43 am (Apollo)

I saw a girl who looked like Cassandra. I wished her dead and that she would remember me all in one breath.

2:45 am (Artemis)

I know. Me too.


4:05 am (Artemis)

Do you still fight the future?

2 seconds later (Apollo)

Every day. Every night. With every breath I have. Unsent: Because it terrifies me. The darkness. The death. We will be all that’s left, and we won’t be able to start over again.

4:06 am (Artemis)

I fight the past. Every expectation I failed to meet. Every decision I ever made in vain. All the vows I gave too easily. Youth. Youth makes gods foolish.

4:07 am (Apollo)

Unsent: I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the part I played


10:59 pm (Artemis)

I wished it would end. I wanted the world to burn and to watch it out of spite. Unsent: Then I wanted to save it, quench the fire with the ocean. I wanted to prove I still could.

11:00 pm (Apollo)

I saw it.

11:01 pm (Apollo)

I had a vision today of a world that didn’t burn in fire. I had a vision of a world where we were happy.

5 seconds later (Artemis)

Do we even deserve it?

2 seconds after that (Apollo)

No. But it was nice. It was nice to have hope.

Excerpt from In the Light of the Stars - L.H.Z

sighchologically  asked:

hi mom your blog is my favourite on tumblr i love your writing so SO much!! if and when you have the time can you do the neighbour au for vixx? if it's too much then the maknae line will do (i've read all of your stuff multiple times over + you're the reason im into seventeen and got7 ily) thank you in advance!!

omg this is so sweet thank you so much!!
im glad you’ve come to love 17+got7!!!

Ravi 

  • sometimes he doesn’t leave his apartment for days. you can tell because his mailbox overflows but you can hear the music from his apartment for like a week straight,,,,,,,and then sometimes you’ll see him leaving his place at like 3 am dressed like he’s going to a Very Fancy club 
  • “it’s the life of a composer,,,,,,,i don’t sleep for like ever and when i finish i have to go and get drunk with the person who paid me to write the song”
  • his apartment is essentially his recording studio, all the instruments and his computer are in the living room and it’s so crowded he bumps into his piano everytime he tries to get to the kitchen
  • likes collecting those little lego figurines and they’re like everywhere. on his computer, above his microwave, probably in his bathroom near his shampoo
  • wears some,,,,,,,,interesting outfits that always become the talk of the block
  • likes to try and keep everything clean but at some point he’s so into work he doesn’t realize he’s spilled cola under his desk chair and the laundry hasn’t been done since hyuk got a solo i mean what now
  • you know ravi is a composer,,,,but you aren’t really sure what that entails
  • until your best friend hakyeon, who happens to be close to ravi is over at your place and is handing a list that is titled “how to keep ravi alive” and you’re like what
  • and hakyeon is like,,,,im going on a trip to europe for a month and usually i check in on ravi when he writes but i won’t be here and everyone is busy and i need to make sure he at least eats something,,,,but i can’t so please,,,,,,,,,,,,,,do this for me
  • and you wanted to refuse at first because you don’t even know ravi
  • but hakyeon is a sweet person and he promises he’ll come back with something nice from europe for you so you decide fine, how hard can it be to just check up on a person
  • TURNS OUT when it’s ravi it is kind of hard
  • because the first day you literally come into his home and try to introduce yourself 4 times before you realize he’s so sucked into his computer he can’t even hear you
  • you check his fridge and there’s just,,,,,some old wine and like???? take out that smells Suspicious
  • and you throw it out and come out of the kitchen to tell ravi he needs to eat but then he looks up at you and screams because hOw DID you gET in here,,,,,and you’re like IVE BEEN HERE FOR HALF AN HOUR and ravi is like?????? i never noticed
  • but he apologizes as soon as you explain what hakyeon told you and he’s like embarrassingly rubbing his neck like,,,,oh don’t listen to hyung im fine on my own
  • but you think about his refrigerator and how sunken-in his eyes look from probably not having sleep and you’re like ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,no i think hakyeon was right you need someones help
  • so you grocery shop and you buy coffee, red bull, energy supplements - whatever he needs to stay up
  • and hakyeon is only gone for a month but in that month you get to know ravi better than most people
  • how he works tirelessly, day and night, on 5 seconds of a song. how he gets angry with himself for not being able to write a melody. how he refuses to sleep until he’s met his goal
  • and the perseverance and creativity in him really shocks you because wow,,,,you’ve been living next to such a hard-working and talented person and you never even knew it
  • but also ravi you’ve worn those basketball shorts 4 days in a row take them off please
  • at one point you asked if ravi had brushed his teeth and he said something you couldn’t even understand so you went to the bathroom, came back with his brush and a cup of water and were like “open up”
  • and ravi was like ????? and you were like “ill brush your teeth while you work”
  • and it was,,,,,,,,,,oddly very intimate
  • and ravi may or may not have suffered like (3) mini heart-attacks
  • but when hakyeon comes back and ravi is done with his song you revert back to being,,,,,,just neighbors
  • until ravi needs to shut himself in for work again and you get a call from hakyeon where he’s like “you need to know something, ive been trying to make sure ravi is ok this past week but he keeps calling me by your name and when i tell him hello - im hakyeon he lets out a deep sigh and long story short i think ravi grew an attachment to you”
  • and you’re like??????? me????? but also,,,,,,,,you can’t help but smile a little
  • and you go next door and let yourself in and you’re like “ravi?” and you see he’s asleep with his head on his desk and you go over to get a blanket to cover him with but when you do, tucking it around his shoulders
  • you hear him murmur something low and you lean in closer and hear him say thank you along with your name
  • and when you come back to check on him again in a couple hours he’s awake and seeing you, it makes him actually stand up from his computer (something he does not do often when he works)
  • and he’s glowing, his sharp features all turning soft as he sees you
  • and you’re like “hakyeon told me you missed me” and ravi is like “AH,,,,well,,,,,,,kind of,,,,,i just,,,hakyeon nags at me and you were nice to me-”
  • and you get this smug look on your face and ravi is faltering under it and you’re like “here i brought some fruits over for you to snack on, but also -”
  • and you press a paper slip into his palm and ravi’s eyes widen and you’re like “it’s my number, so you can call me instead of hakyeon”
  • and you don’t see it as you go into the kitchen with the fruit but ravi literally gathers what little energy he has to do a little happy shimmy dance
  • and he tapes your number to the side of his computer screen and whenever he looks at it he gets this goofy grin on his face,,,,,,,,,because hehe,,,,,,,i have my crush’s number,,,,,

Hongbin 

  • only person in vixx who makes his bed in the morning 
  • lives a pretty simple and clean life, likes consistency and has one of those big calendars on his wall where he writes down all his future plans and probably even has like a workout schedule
  • park hyo shin album shrine in his bedroom complete with framed autograph
  • the type to have like candles ,,,,,,, that are in the shapes of like flowers it’s cute
  • bunnies have always reminded me of hongbin so maybe if he lived apart from vixx he’d have one that he jokingly names like wonshik but no no it’s real name is something cute like whatever the korean is for like carrot soup or something LOL
  • idk why but he likes pastel polka dots imagine him with pastel polka dot bed sheets he’s such a cute person
  • people are always surprised that he doesn’t have like,,,,,one billion mirrors in his house because like how can one Not look at a face like that
  • but in reality those kind of things make hongbin really shy,,,,,,like he’s just like,,,,im not handsome and everyone in the building is like IF that isn’t the biggest lie i have Ever heard with my own two ears
  • everyone in the neighborhood has a crush on him. it’s unavoidable. it’s hongbin fever
  • you’ve lived next door to him for a longtime so you guys are pretty familiar with each other,,,,,but the problem is everytime he meets one of your friends. they fall for him
  • and end up begging to come over just for a glimpse of him and then when they try to ask him out
  • hongbin awkwardly like ,,,,makes up an excuse as to why he can’t date them and they get sad and you’ve seen this happen five times and you’re just like ?????????? what is his type ????? what is he looking for???
  • but you’re not gonna ask him that because well like That’s Rude 
  • but one night you actually end up over at his place because your tv broke,,,,and the premire of your favorite drama is on and hongbin was kind enough to let you in to watch it
  • and during a long commercial break you look down to see hongbin sitting at the table, writing down something and you decide that hey you’ll never have another chance to be alone like this with him
  • so you lower the volume a bit and you’re like “can i ask you something?”
  • and he nods without looking up and you’re like,,,,,, “ive lived across from you for like four years and ive never seen you,,,,,,,with someone,,,,that wasn’t from your friend group and this is probably super invasive but - are you seeing someone?”
  • and hongbin’s eyes go wide and he like looks up in silence
  • and you’re like “,,,,,,is it like an arranged marriage thing????? am i asking too much this is rude im sor-”
  • and hongbin shakes his head and is like “no,,,,,i just,,,,,,,,,” and you’re like ?????? and he kind of sadly laughs
  • and is like “,,,,,the person i like hasn’t come to a realization yet.”
  • and you’re shocked because hongbin. prince of your neighborhood. actual living art is harboring a one-sided love????
  • and you can’t help yourself you’re like “who is that blind? i mean,,,,,,,,anyone who looks at you is enchanted”
  • and hongbin laughs because that’s what he does. compliments make him shy
  • but then you go back to watching your drama and you don’t notice hongbin has stopped writing and suddenly you hear in a very quiet voice: “were you,,,,,,enchanted by me?”
  • and you look down at him and you’re like “are you asking if i liked you?”
  • and hongbin swallows a lump in his throat but builds up the courage to nod his head and you’re like “of course,,,,,,but i knew it was a longshot i mean ,,,,,,,,do you know how popular you are? it’s like falling for an idol-”
  • but suddenly hongbin is up and he’s like “don’t say that.” and you’re like is he embarrassed??????whats going on??????
  • but he just takes a seat next to you and he’s like “it’s you,,,,you’re the one i wanted to confess to me.”
  • and you’re so shocked,,,,,,you literally drop the remote and hongbin is getting red the longer you stare at him wide-eyed
  • until you’re like looking over at the tv and the drama is a kissing scene and then you look back at hongbin and you’re red now too
  • and you’re both red and there’s kissing in the background but you know what there should be some kissing in this apartment too
  • because you both like each other so why not
  • but when you do kiss him you’re like wait. wait. is this real did i fever dream this-
  • and hongbin takes your hand and puts it on his face and he’s like “it’s real.”

Hyuk

  • big tall meme 
  • who can’t figure out how to cook a meal for himself but can reboot a computer and probably fix your tv in less than ten minutes
  • for the sake of this au,,,,hyuk is Nerd. as in his whole apartment is full of like action figures and comic books and video games and dirty socks and,,,,,half eaten bags of potato chips, opened cans of redbull
  • your usual college boy whose friends are all part of the e-sports club at school like c’mon
  • of course how could i forget, his movie collection of sci-fi alien flicks is the only thing that’s organized on his bookshelf
  • everyone in the building comes to him for help like the ladies need help with their broken microwaves and hairdryers while the dads don’t get why their son managed to break the new computer (hyuk looking at the sticky keyboard: uh,,,,)
  • and he does it for free for elders but the teenagers who go to him to learn how to game or upgrade their setups he’s like “my work isn’t cheap. 20 bucks an hour on nothing.”
  • hakyeon: stop pandering from teenagers
  • hyuk: ,,,,,,i have no idea what you are talking about *hiding his piggy bank which literally says ‘money from gamer nerdz’ jokes jokes
  • you know hyuk is handy with,,,,,electric stuff and whatnot so when your lights go out in the middle of the night even though you paid all your utilities like last week,,,,you know the man to go to
  • and when hyuk opens the door you’re like “whats up, my lights are out and im not sure if it’s a fuse box thing or -”
  • and hyuk is like “i got you let me come over”
  • but as you’re walking through the hall of your apartment you realize, you don’t have a flashlight and you’re like my phone is somewhere on my sofa,,,,,let me fell around
  • but you have literally zero light and it’s night out and you think you’re heading toward your sofa but you feel something soft standing in your way
  • and you’re like touching it and you’re like it’s soft,,,,but hard???
  • and warm????
  • wait is that t-shirt
  • and you’re like hold up
  • “hyuk??? am i touching you????”
  • hyuk: “yep”
  • you: “why didn’t you stop me what th-”
  • hyuk: “it was fine, i liked it.”
  • and you turn pink, thankful for the lights off and want to swat his hand but you don’t know where that is until you feel his hand take your wrist
  • and he takes his phone out of his pocket and shines it on you and you’re like heY
  • and he’s like “hehe cute” and you’re like excuse me what
  • and hyuk is like “nothing, lead the way”
  • and when you get to the fuse box you hold the phone and see hyuk work with the wires. you notice the light shading his handsome face, a set jawline and wow,,,,his height????
  • and you’re like this is the first time im looking at hyuk and going ‘he’s hot’ what the HECK is wrong with me
  • and hyuk finishes in under five minutes and all your lights turn back on and he smiles
  • and it’s so,,,,,cute his nose is adorable did you just notice that??? why are you having all of these thoughts about your neighbor??
  • and he’s like “all done. how’d you like to pay me?”
  • and you’re like “i think i have some cash- but,,,,”
  • and hyuk grins because he’s like “yes,,,,,i don’t want cash”
  • and you’re like oh,,,,,,,,and you’re like “ok lean down-”
  • and hyuk does super duper excited that he’s about to get a kiss
  • but instead you pinch his cheek and go “ill order us pizza, don’t think im easy han sanghyuk.”
  • and with that you turn around and hyuk is just like: that was sexy 
  • you: shuttup what kind of toppings do you want?
What if

But what if he loves you too? What if his heart races as yours do? What if he thinks that you are the most beautiful woman alive? What if he wants to marry you? What if you are his dream? What if he wants to cuddle you every night? What if he thinks about you every second of the day? What if he loves you? What if..

MASTERLIST

Updated 4-3-17

Blurbs:

Driving

Lonely

Girls’ Trip

Coachella

Facetime

It’s a Girl

Bad Days

Drunken Accidents

Guilt

Late Nights

Beauty Hurts

Second Chances

Party Preparations

Sweatshirt

One and Only

Welcome Home Daddy

Bookworm

She Loves Us

Jet Lag

‘Minor’ Accidents

“I think I’m in love with you and that scares me half to death”

“You’re safe now, I’ve got you.”

True Friend

anonymous asked:

can you do a tyler fic based on the song, "Oh Ms. Believer"? That would make my life, i love your writing and your blog so much :)

OH MS. BELIEVER

The snow listens to you. The snow listens to you like no one else does because you have no one to listen to you.

In your silent, shitty apartment on the bad side of town, you lay on a mattress, completely and truly alone, and still the ever present snow listens to you as you cry yourself dry again. It’s a bit of a promise - a thing you two have. You and the snow have a bond. The snow is your only friend.

But despite the snow’s company, you’re sad and you’re lonely and you have nothing. Nothing to live for.

Sometimes you think about what it would be like if you were capable of being normal. You think about your classmates who went on in school and you ask yourself why can’t you? Why can’t you attend university and why can’t you have friends and why can’t you go to parties like the other kids your age do?

And then you look out of the window and you see the snow falling and you remember that you can’t ever be normal.  And you sit and think about the reason that you like the snow is because people don’t like its cold and bitterness, just like they don’t like yours.

You have a job on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays at the music store, three five hour minimum wage shifts that barely pay for your rent and a few take out meals. It basically requires showing up and standing in front of a cash register for a few hours and interacting with like 3 or 4 customers. To be honest, it’s hardly worth turning up for. It’s a lazy and sad job for a lazy and sad person and you hate it, but then again, you hate almost everything. But it keeps you alive and it doesn’t require a degree and since you are incapable of getting off your ass and earning yourself one of those, it looks like the record store is your best bet for now.

Still, it wouldn’t surprise you if the place went under soon and perhaps you should be a little more worried about it, especially considering the money you earn there is all you’re living on. But since when did you worry or feel anything other than emptiness? You don’t. The snow knows it, too.

Outside of the record store, it’s snowing. It’s snowing and it’s Saturday night and there are people stumbling drunkenly through the slippery streets at 11 o'clock, probably already on their way to their second bar of the night. They’re all smiling and laughing and you are empty. You can’t help but crave their happiness.

Briefly, you consider closing early and going out for a drink yourself. But then you think about how much you’d close early and go home instead.

And you suppose you could close early and go home now, because you’re the only one left in the store and it’s the last Saturday of the month, your turn to work the awkward and pointless late night shift that your boss insists that the store keeps. Apparently Saturday night is the prime time for record sales, but then again your boss says a lot of things that make no sense. Really, you know that James wouldn’t care if you closed up early tonight and went home now, because who are they kidding, there’s not going to be a customer rush at 11 o'clock at night when everyone’s out having fun. Nobody in their right mind goes out clubbing and spontaneously decides to pick up an album on the way home.

So, decision made, you grab your bag, throwing it over your shoulder, and exit the building after turning off the lights. You carefully lock up the store before pocketing your set of keys and speed walking away from the run down record store without looking back.

The snow has reduced to flurries and you start to think that maybe even the weather is tired, just like you are.

When you come to the steps that lead up to your building, you can feel your eyes becoming heavy, drooping like they’d like nothing more than to close. However, despite their exhaustion, your heavy eyes still catch sight of the figure sitting on the steps. People always sit on the steps. But most of the time they’re in groups and most of the time they’re not hunched over, making them look incredibly fragile and sad.

You eye the figure cautiously. He’s got his head in his hands and you briefly consider asking the person if he’s ok because you suppose you’d like that if that was you and someone was acting like they cared.  But you know nothing you could say would make a difference.  

You take the steps 2 at a time and do your best to get past the person unnoticed. Usually you’re good at being unnoticed, usually you can just slip by and blend in with your surroundings and  no one talks to you.

But this person obviously doesn’t know that you are the sad and broken weirdo from the fifth floor.

“You remind me of someone I used to know.” The boy says, voice choked but unmistakeable.

You freeze on the top step, blink twice and turn carefully to face the boy. He hasn’t moved his head from his hands.

“I used to know a girl named Anne in middle school who was sad and nobody but me spoke to her.  You remind me of Anne.”

You don’t move.

“At first I thought that she was broken beyond repair. I just spoke to her and sat with her and I never asked her any questions about why she was so sad. I just kept her company until we left middle school and went to high school. She moved away though.”

The boy pauses to clear his throat before continuing.  

“In November, they had an assembly for just our class.  They said that Anne committed suicide the night before.”

You stare as the boy finally lifts his head from his hands and stands from his seat on the steps, turning to face you. He’s still too far away for you to see him properly and the darkness is making him a mere silhouette to your vision. But you still manage to stare at the boy with a clenched jaw.

You’re about to ask the boy why, why is he telling you this? But the boy speaks before you can say anything.

“That weekend I went to Toledo, where I knew she was from, and I met her mom who cried when I asked her about her daughter’s death. She cried and I told her I was sorry, but I just needed to know why. She showed me the note she left. It was just a list of names. One was mine. And I realized that Anne wasn’t completely broken. She could’ve been fixed, she just needed someone to be there for her.”

You want to turn and run because the snow isn’t around to comfort you anymore.  Instead, it’s dark and your palms are sweating and you don’t know what to say to this stranger. You expect the boy to continue talking, but he doesn’t, he just walks towards you until you’re standing face to face.

Your eyes level with his and for the first time tonight, you can see the person who has been telling you the tragic story of Anne. Your eyes roam the unfamiliar face and you’re hit by the beauty of this boy, the perfect angular line of his jaw, the perfect shape and height of his cheekbones, and more evidently, his perfect eyes that are a shocking shade of brown, vibrant and lively, much unlike your sad ones. This boy’s eyes are shining with life and everything you’re lacking.

You wonder why he bothered to speak to someone like you, who’s sad and exhausted, wearing clothes that are too big for you and looking like a train wreck all of the time, feeling like a train wreck all of the time, is a train wreck all of the time.

A silence has fallen over you, one that remains present until you breaks it with “I don’t know why you told me that.”

To which the boy replies “I told you because you’re broken. Anybody can see that. But it’s not permanent.” Your eyes are locked on the boy’s pretty mouth as he talks, watching the way his lips form each word.

And you kind of want to chuckle at his words, you can’t be ‘fixed’; and you have no one there for you. So you look the boy in the eye and whisper just that.

“Well you have me.” The boy says, as if you’ve known each other for more than 5 minutes. “I’m Tyler, by the way.”

You rub your chapped lips together before saying, “And I’m Y/N.”

And so after exchanging numbers on the steps leading up to your apartment complex at almost midnight on a Saturday night, Tyler Joseph becomes your second snow. He calls you the following day and asks you how you’re doing, if you’re feeling alright today, and you tell Tyler that you feel like you always do. Tyler doesn’t question you. But it feels like a promise when just before Tyler hangs up, he says “I’ll talk to you soon. Probably tomorrow.” and you laugh dryly and say “If you say so.” because you’re not counting on Tyler to stick around.

But Tyler does call. He calls the next day and the day after that and even the day after that. They’re not long calls, just Tyler “checking in” mainly, but it’s so nice, it feels like all the support you’ve ever needed.

And Tyler doesn’t stop at daily calls, he even visits you that weekend. You sit together and don’t really say much.  You just watch the TV in a comfortable silence, but it feels like so much more.

Somehow it turns into a weekly thing. Tyler comes over to your apartment out of the blue, constantly finding reasons to be there for you. Honestly, you’re so glad that you have someone around, someone who isn’t pressuring you into laughing or smiling or doing anything with your life.

Eventually the hour long visits turn into Tyler staying the night, arm wrapped casually around you as they lay on your mattress in the darkness and stillness of your room. He holds you when you cry and it means everything to you, absolutely everything.

And, as time goes on, you begin to find that waking up feels less and less painful every morning.  It’s nice to not dread existing. It’s nice to feel wanted.

But of course, Tyler can’t be there 24/7. So when he isn’t around to listen to you cry and comfort you to sleep, you alway have the snow. It’s like Tyler and the snow are your sole support system, your anchors, the things that are keeping you alive.  Like the list of names Anne made before she died. If you made a list, all it would say is “Tyler Joseph and The Snow.”

But you should have known that Tyler wasn’t just your best friend and your support system. You should have known that you were going to fall in love.

You realize it when you’re lying in bed a few months after you first met, Tyler’s arms holding you closer than they’d ever held you before, when Tyler tucks his nose behind your ear and whispers “This is the first time we’ve laid together at night when you aren’t crying.” and he’s right, you’re not crying, you’re not crying and you don’t feel sad and Tyler is the reason for that.

“It’s because you’re here.“ You whisper in disbelief. "You’re always here and I love you.”

And you do love Tyler. You love Tyler and you don’t realize it until you say it.  But saying it makes you freeze, muscles locking up in Tyler’s embrace.

But Tyler doesn’t seem to notice. “I love you too.”

You spin around in the circle of his arms and look up into Tyler’s perfect eyes and you see the light inside them and you’re not sure what Tyler means by love, but you can tell he means it.

“For real?“

"For real.”

“Okay.” And Tyler leans over and kisses the top of your head for the first time that night, even if it feels familiar enough for it to have been the one thousandth.

TYLER’S POV

“Honey, I’m home!” Tyler calls, smile evident in his voice as he swings the front door to your apartment open and enters, dumping his keys on the wall hook, slamming the door shut and bustling into the kitchen. “Y/N?“

She isn’t there; in her place is an unnerving silence, one that isn’t natural, one that sets a heavy feeling of dread at the bottom of Tyler’s stomach. His smile falls right off his face.

“Y/N?” he says into the silence. No response.  Tyler shakes his head, she’s got to be here.

He ventures into the living room and finds that the arm chair is empty.  He checks the bathroom and finds no beautiful eyes peeking out behind the shower curtain, ready to pounce on him and laugh at him for being so scared. He looks everywhere except her room, because he dreads what he may find in there.

But it’s inevitable, either Y/N is in her bedroom or she is out, and Tyler knows that she would have nowhere to go if she did leave the apartment.

So he opens to door slowly and looks in and the first thing he notices is that it’s snowing and the window is open and Y/N is laying curled in a ball on the mattress, phone discarded in front of her, in silence, crying. She’s a silent blubbering mess and Tyler is scared, but he still dives forward and envelopes her into a hug. He kisses her forehead and buries his face in her hair and whispers “Love, what happened?” because even when they first met, she never cried this much and there’s no way that this is Y/N just upset. This isn’t normal. This isn’t her.

She shakes her head against Tyler’s chest, leaning against him as he rocks them from side to side, mumbling “Shh, babe, tell me what’s wrong.” into her hair and waiting for her to be okay.

Slowly her sniffling seizes and she takes a deep breath, pulling her face out of Tyler’s chest and patting Tyler’s sweater where she’s gotten tears all over it. She smiles weakly but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes and she looks like she could start crying again. Before she does though, she shakes her head and says “My mom died. Car accident. Last night.”

Tyler has never asked Y/N about her parents. He doesn’t know why they never talked and he doesn’t have a clue where they are or why they left their daughter to become so broken like this. But he knows that despite the fact that she rarely spoke to them, the loss of this woman who was his mother must be hard on her. Tyler couldn’t even begin to imagine the pain she must be feeling right now.

So Tyler doesn’t say anything, just closes his eyes and pulls Y/N back into his arms so that her face is not entirely in his chest this time, just so they’re hugging and can lightly sway without toppling over. “We didn’t speak, me and my mom.” she mumbles. “I know I shouldn’t feel so regretful because after we stopped talking a few years back, I barely knew her anymore. We didn’t speak, I didn’t know her and she didn’t know me. But I feel like I’ve completely missed the chance I had to get to know her.  She raised me and loved me as a kid. All I did was push her away. I was bitter and disrespectful and I blamed her for pushing me too hard when really it was just me not wanting to do what she and my dad expected me to do. I’m not surprised she left me.”

Tyler doesn’t have anything constructive to say. He just pushes his nose into your hair and says “I am so sorry. I love you.”

She shakes her head and says “Don’t be sorry.” and for the first time, she tilts her head up and plants her lips on his.  Tyler sighs into her mouth, wondering if this was the time or place to be sharing their first kiss together.  But he selfishly doesn’t want to pull away.   He wraps an arm tightly around her waist and for a long while, all they do is kiss.

And after they do finally pull apart, they lay there together for hours in the darkness, silent and not speaking, until when she assumes that Tyler is asleep and she whispers “It’s all my fault.” into his ear.

YOUR POV

You don’t know what to do with yourself.

You don’t know what to do with yourself now that your mother is dead, you don’t know how to fix it, so for the first time in 4 years, you call your dad. And now, laying in the darkness on a creaky mattress, curled up against the wall underneath the open window as the snow falls, you hold your phone in shaky hands.

It’s cold and Tyler left a few hours ago to go to work and you feel so tired. You feel numb. Only when your father picks up to you realize that it’s been such a long time and you don’t know if your dad will even want to speak to you. You consider hanging up, you consider clicking the end call button and putting your phone away, never thinking of it again.

“Hello?”

His voice is deep and so familiar and it reminds you of your childhood, it reminds you of the memories he created with him. And you’re completely frozen, paralyzed with guilt. You can’t speak. It’s snowing, you remind himself. The snow is here.

“Hello? Is anybody there?”

You bite your lip, looking out at the snow as you say “Dad.”

And your dad exhales, like a breath of relief,  “Y/N.” The sound is static in your ear through the bad connection of your phone. “I thought you’d never call.”

“Mom died.”

“Yeah,” he says, sighing heavily.

Silence. “I’m sorry.” your voice cracks audibly and your fist tightens as you cough in a feeble attempt to cover up your weakness. You’re not breaking, you’re not going to show your dad how broken you are. “I’m sorry for not being there.”

“I know you are.  I know you’re sorry.” And now you don’t know what to say, but you can feel the tears coming, the ones you’d worked so hard to bury for the duration of this phone call.  

“I suppose you want me to beg you to come home now?” he asks then, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.  You shake your head, a method of calming only yourself down.  But you don’t respond.  Instead, you let the phone drop from your ear and you hang up, leaving you to sit, staring out at the snow.  

In the end, you don’t end up crying.  You don’t let any tears escape your eyes.  You just sit, asking the snow why bad things happen to you.  

And when Tyler finds you like this later, he knows what happened, he just knows, and he pulls you into his lap, stroking your hair and looking out at the snow, asking the snow why the world is has been so cruel to this beautiful and perfect girl. The snow doesn’t know the answer to that one.

TYLER’S POV

Y/N/s sadness from the communication with her dad doesn’t fade; she refuses to eat anything, refuses to leave her room, hardly speaks and hardly interacts with Tyler at all. She doesn’t kiss him, doesn’t hug him.  Instead, she pushes him away whenever he lays a hand on her and rejects his affection whenever he tries to put an arm around her shoulders.

It’s as if she’s not even inside her body at all, it’s as if she’s disappeared and truth be told, it’s beginning to worry Tyler, because she’s never been this bad before.

So he takes a week off from work to keep an eye on her, and he calls her in sick at the record store, telling her boss about what happened.

When he hangs up the phone, he returns to her bedroom.  Tyler drops to the mattress at a somewhat respectable distance, crossing his legs as she angle herself away from him. Tyler tries not to take it to heart.

“James said that he hopes you feel better soon.” Tyler says to the back of her head.

No response.

“He also said that he’ll count the days that you’re not in as paid days off so you won’t be going poor or homeless this month.”

No response.

“James a nice guy, huh?  Very southern.”

No response.

"I like southern accents.”

No response.

Silence.

Tyler suddenly feels sick. Something inside of him snaps and it’s as if all of the days Tyler has spent by her side this week are coming back up his throat. “Oh come on, Y/N! Why?” Tyler says with a raised voice, frustrated. “What’s wrong?! Why are you so distant right now?! Did I do something wrong?!”

Her head lowers and she sighs, mumbling something that Tyler doesn’t quite catch.

He sits for a moment, trying to make sense of it, before he chews his lip and says “What?”

“I said get out.” She says, clearer now. It’s unmistakeable, impossible for Tyler to have misheard. Y/N is telling Tyler to get out. It doesn’t sound like a joke. It sounds like a break up. It sounds like she’s crushing Tyler’s heart with her bare hands, fingers constricting around it, breaking it to a million pieces. “I don’t think we can be together right now.”

Tyler swallows around the lump in his throat. He feels like he’s about to throw up. “What did I do?”

“Just go.”

“But I-”

“Get out.”

And so Tyler gets out. He stands up with tears running down his cheeks, filling his eyes and blocking his vision as he stumbles out of Y/N’s room, out of her apartment, out of her complex, out of her street, out of her town, but hopefully not out of her heart.

YOUR POV

After Tyler leaves, you are left to complete silence. There are no more sounds of him moving around in the kitchen or watching TV in the living room or showering in the bathroom. There are no more sounds of Tyler around you at all to remind you that you’re not alone. So all you can think about is the fact that you are so alone, and it’s all your fault because you were the one who fucked everything up.

You miss him. Your heart feels heavier than it was when Tyler was here and your apartment is colder, sadder, lonelier and you feel like everything is back to the way it was before you met Tyler. You’re completely reliant on the snow to listen.  Only now, it doesn’t seem to snow as much.

So now that Tyler is gone, and your mother is dead, and your father didn’t want you around, and the snow isn’t falling, you have no one to live for, nobody to rely on and nothing to cling onto. Just a lumpy mattress and a dark room.

You wonder if Tyler will ever come back.

TYLER’S POV

Tyler tells himself that Y/N doesn’t want to see him. He tells himself that he can’t just go storming into her apartment, demanding to be taken back, because the reason why she told him to leave was because he was too invasive and wasn’t giving her the time and space she needed to think and heal.

He wanted to apologize.   But, he also wanted to stay away, and give her the distance she wanted.  Which is what he is doing.

Tyler hasn’t gone back to Y/N’s apartment for 5 days. Not like he’s been counting, but he’s been counting.

Tyler isn’t sure how long he can stay away.  But on day 6, he decides to say fuck it to space, he needed to check on her. He’s going to go to her apartment and apologize to her and Y/N is going to love him again.

YOUR POV

It had been 6 days since the last snowfall.  You gazed out your open window into the clear night and let the cold air hit your face.  

You tapped anxiously at the wood of your window frame, wondering how much longer you could go on like this, completely and utterly alone.  

A soft knock coming from your bedroom door brings you back to reality.  You immediately stir, turning around and looking over at your shut door.  

You know who it is.  Because who else would it be?  You hesitate, feeling nervous about telling him to come in.  What could Tyler want?  

If it had been snowing, you would have told him to go away again.  But it wasn’t.  It was clear and you were so lonely.  So instead you clear your throat and tell him to come in.

“Hi,” he says, anxiously lingering at the door frame even after he’s seen you.

You keep his gaze and smile as much as you could. “Hi.”

“Listen—“ he says, rubbing the hem of his shirt between his two fingers.  “I just wanted to say, I’m sorry.”

You narrow your eyes at him, in shock.

“I was intrusive and I didn’t give you space, and I said I’d be here, but I was pushy and not what you needed, and I’m sorry.”  He sighs out a heavy breath once he’s finished, like he’d just exhaled all the poison in his lungs.  

You stare, partially stunned, but mostly ashamed with yourself, because standing in front of you was everything you’d ever wanted.  It was love and support and compassion and you’d treated him like you’d treated everything else in your life; with apathy.  You’d neglected Tyler and pushed him away and only focused on yourself.  You hated yourself for it, because truth-be-told, Tyler deserved so much more.  

Despite the distance you’d expressed the last time you’d been together, it’s you who closes the space between you and him.  In three quick strides, you’re colliding with him, wrapping your arms around his torso and pressing your ear into his chest.  

As you feel his arms wrap around you and his face nestle into the familiar spot on top of your head, you finally let yourself inhale properly.  Air and Tyler’s scent all flood into your lungs, reminding you of what you’d let slip away before, reminding you of how crucial he was to your existence.  

“I’m sorry I pushed you away,” you say.  And then, “I love you.”  The words come out louder than you’d ever said it before and you feel Tyler soften in your embrace, like he’s let out a breath of relief.  

“I love you,” he says into your hair. “So much.”

In the coming days, evidence of spring appears.  The snow begins melting from the banks, creating puddles in the road, and on the night when the clouds emerge, it’s rain that falls instead.  You sit briefly on your bed and stare out into the dreary night, listening as the drops fall to the pavement below and you realize that you were okay without it.  Because even without the company of the snow, you had Tyler.  And somehow, he was infinitely better.  You were still sad and afraid.  You still cried some nights and felt like the world was closing in around you.  But Tyler’s company gave you hope and something to live for.

2

Hey, we beat up some dancers.

Get Comfortable

Warnings: brief mentions of nudity (nothing explicit)

Word Count: 1585

Request: “Hello! I’ve had this idea for a deanxreader imagine where Dean and the reader accidentally rent a motel room with only one bed and they wind up sharing that one bed because its really late and they just want to get some sleep. I kind of pictured this really awkward scene when they wake up, like something like the reader likes to sleep without a shirt on & wakes up shirtless and all pressed up against Dean”

A/N: YAY! My first oneshot back from my long ass hiatus. Hope you enjoy this one, as I loved getting back into the groove :)

You were tired. You were exhausted. You were just craving sleep in any form of bed.

You and Dean had just finished off a case in a small town in Ohio. The case was only two days long; it was easy enough to track down the whereabouts of the vampires that were cozying up in town as they were all pretty recently turned.

So Dean and yourself raided the nest on the second night, (you didn’t go during the day as their nest was sheltered right in the middle of town). But although they were fairly amateur vamps, they were very quick and their bloodlust for you made them aggressive. The fighting match went down without either of the two of you being injured, but resulted in two very worn-out hunters.

Dean pulled the Impala swiftly into a parking spot out the front of a small motel, waking you from your daze.

“We’ll drive back to the Bunker tomorrow,” Dean said flatly, ending it with a yawn. You nodded with approval, eager to sleep on anything but a car seat.

The pair of you slowly made your way to the motel’s front office to be greeted by a middle-aged man whose attention was directed towards a small TV beside him. Dean gave a small cough which alerted the man that he had company.

“Just one night thanks,” Dean tiredly told the man. He gave a small nod, before reaching to the wall behind him that hung just under a dozen room keys, and grabbing one labelled with a faded number six.

Dean took the key from the man, exchanging it for the credit card that was originally in his pocket. The man looked at the card, and gave a tired smile as he ran it successfully through the machine.

As he returned the card to Dean, he said, “Enjoy your stay Mr. Helsberg.” Dean gave a small nod as the pair of you exited the office. On your way out, you gave Dean a confused look as to why he would call Dean such a name. Dean responded by pointing towards the name printed on ‘his’ credit card, and continued to walk down towards your room.

The pair of you finally made it to your room, which despite being number 6, was the furthest room away from the front office.

Dean put the key into door, as his voice slightly perked up, “Man, I can’t wait to pass out in my very own bed.” You gave a tired nod in reply.

The door opened, after needing a little more of a push, and you reached over to the light switch, flicking it upwards. The room was instantly illuminated with the yellow-toned light that hung down from the ceiling in the center.

But when your eyes tiredly adjusted to what the room had to offer, both Dean’s and your eyes widened.

“There’s only one bed?!” you exclaimed to an unmoving Dean. A few moments went by before Dean took his pack and threw it onto the bed.

“Guess I’ll be having a sleeping buddy,” Dean smirked, giving you a wink. You rubbed your face in exhaustion, just wanting more than anything to have your own bed to sleep in for the night.

Looking at the single bed, you took a further sigh as it was just big enough to fit two people; but only if they slept together quite closely. It wasn’t that Dean was the problem; you just wanted a big bed all to yourself as you knew that was the way you would get the most comfortable sleep, after a few restless nights working on the case.

“You know what Dean?” you said tiredly, before stifling a yawn, “I’m exhausted. You’re exhausted. I don’t have the energy to argue or fight you on this one, so let’s just share and be done with it.” Dean’s eyebrows briefly lifted with excitement.

The both of you started to get ready for bed. You were wearing a flannel shirt, over the top of a singlet, and dirt-tracked jeans. You really didn’t want to sleep in jeans and didn’t overly care that Dean would be able to see your underwear.

It wasn’t the first time, as once on a hunt he turned around in the motel room when you were still changing, and you hadn’t put your pants on yet. That was embarrassing. But tonight it wasn’t a big deal. And to be honest, you were too tired to care.

Dean left his jeans on, as they weren’t too dirty at all, but slid his shirt off with ease, throwing it to the side.

You were turned the other way from the bed, so you couldn’t see Dean, but you heard the springs creak as he jumped onto the bed.

You took your flannel shirt off, so you were left with just your singlet on top. Your hands reached to take that off too, but then you stopped yourself. You were tired but still awake enough to remember Dean was in the room.

Usually, you preferred to sleep topless as it was just a feeling that you enjoyed and made you feel completely relaxed before you would drift to sleep. But that wouldn’t be happening tonight.

Instead you maneuvered your arms around until you had successfully taken off your bra without even lifting your singlet up.

You turned around ready for bed, and saw Dean lying down, looking at you.

“Damn Y/N, that took some serious skill,” Dean admitted before smirking, “As well as being insanely hot.”

You rolled your eyes at the older Winchester brother, before turning a lamp light on and turning the main light switch off.

As you made your way over to the bed, you noticed Dean’s shoulders in the dim light, and the way they looked so toned and muscular and…

You instantly snapped yourself out of it. Your brain clicking you back into the present for the second time that night.

You walked over to the bed and slid yourself under the covers. Both Dean’s and your shoulders were touching, unable to move unless you wanted to fall off the bed.

Dean reached over and turned the lamp off. As soon as the light disappeared, neither of you said a word; the exhaustion catching up to you and forcing you both to sleep.


Your eyes fluttered open.

The sun was gleaming brightly through the dusty blinds, telling you that it was well into the day.

It was then you noticed that your arm was around Dean, who still looked fast asleep. You gave a small smile, knowing that probably the reason you felt so relaxed and comfortable was because you were embracing Dean through the night.

As your eyes began to adjust and gain more focus to the new day, you noticed a difference. A feeling. It was comfortable. But definitely different than when you had fallen asleep.

You slowly looked down to your torso, seeing nothing.

Literally nothing.

Your singlet that you wore to bed from the night before was gone.

All that was left was your completely naked chest, pressed up against Dean’s also uncovered body.

You gave a small shriek in shock at the realisation that you had practically slept naked with Dean. And not just that. You slept naked wrapped around Dean.

“Don’t ruin the moment,” Dean murmured, eyes opening. His voice sound relaxed, but not tired like it should have sounded right after waking up.

“Are you telling me you’ve been awake and you just left me like this?” you exclaimed, your voice raising slightly, while also trying to untangle yourself from Dean’s grasp.

“I’ve been awake for about half an hour or so,” Dean smirked, “And as if I’m going to wake you up to tell you that you must have taken your shirt off in the night. I’m trying to enjoy the feeling of having you pressed up against me.”

Finally out of Dean’s grasp, you pull the cover up to hide your face that was growing redder by the second and gave a loud sigh.

“You must be in love with me Y/N, if you’re that keen to take it all off for me,” he smirked once more.

Because you had had enough, you ran towards the bathroom, attempting to cover your chest as you went there. “I’m having a long shower, alone!” you exclaimed, before closing the door and locking it.

Dean just continued to lay in the bed, listening to the shower turn on as you hopped under the hot running water.

He just smiled to himself, thinking of the way you looked. How beautiful you looked.

It wasn’t the sex appeal of seeing you topless or in your underwear; it was seeing you, and all of you. You had been made completely vulnerable, with not really anywhere to hide. He could just experience the real you.

Dean thought back to the few moments ago when he was lying with you entangled across him. He could feel your warmth. He could feel your heart beating. He could feel your chest rise and fall with each breath. He could see when you formed a faint smile in your sleep, because you were dreaming of something good.

He reached over to your side of the bed, and picked your singlet up off the ground. Dean held it to his chest, still being able to smell you from it, and smiled.

How lucky it was that he booked a room with only one bed.

When you smiled back at me, I felt thirty times better. When you sat beside me, I felt myself relax. When you started to playfully mess with me, I felt my mind clear itself. When you held the door for me, I felt like grabbing your hand and pulling you towards me. Then when you were walking with her, I still felt okay. Everything is going to be okay. I have hope.
—  All I have now is little things but I’m okay with that
We must remember that hate is never right and love is never wrong.
—  Roman Kent, Holocaust survivor. In his speech on the 70th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz-Birkenau. January 27, 2015.
2

UTAPRI SONG CHALLENGE 8: DAY DREAM or NIGHT DREAM

The second Shining Dream CD photoshoot was in full swing. This year, STARISH and QUARTET NIGHT returned as models and spokesmen of the agency’s affiliated fashion brand, BRIGHT SHINE. The new fashion line was called Day Dream and Night Dream. However, they were not the main face of the series - but the brand specifically asked for the newly debuted Yukimoto Aya to be the centre.

As this was her first serious modelling job, the first person she approached was, of course, Ren - who had the most modelling experience under his belt. Camus was a close second, but it may not have been the best time to hear the words, “You peasant,” from the Permafrost Noble. When she expressed her worries, he only gave an benign smile and affectionately pinched her nose.

“Just relax, kotori-chan.”

Original Artist: かぢ太