wow. okay, i’m gonna try to write this up without crying.
on saturday, we walked down the aisle to a piano version of metallica’s nothing else matters. we said our vows, we said i do, and we were introduced as mrs. and mrs. for the first time.
we got photos with our wonderful wedding party, my grandma and my little niece, whose flower girl dress matched mine (<3), danced to beirut’s postcards from italy, and it was so exciting that i couldn’t even eat a donut from the donut bar (i heard it was awesome, lol). the staff at our venue liked us so much they almost cried when we wrapped things up, and gave us three bottles of champagne to take home.
there were supposed to be thunderstorms the whole day, so i was kind of bummed that the photos might be a little hectic, or that we’d have to do them all inside. however, it didn’t rain. i mean, it did rain. but … you guys. it was sunny at the same time. so you know what that means, right?
that’s us! and that’s our unexpected wedding guest, the rainbow!
everybody told me that something would go wrong, and we’d just have to shrug it off, but … nothing went wrong. everything was perfect. i wouldn’t change anything about the day. everything unfolded like a story. we are married now, like we’ve been planning for more than ten years. every time i’m alone i get one of our songs stuck in my head and i just start crying, because it’s real, it happened, the words were said and everyone heard them, and no one can stop it or take it away! our marriage is endorsed by a fucking rainbow!!!
okay, there it is. we did it! now for the honeymoon. we’re gonna do whatever the fuck we want. <3
Did you vote for the current President? Did you tell your kids that
you don’t give a shit about them? Granted, you have a long list of
people who are going to be slowly killed or destroyed in some form or
fashion, but if you have kids, at the very least, they should be at the
top of your list.
And if you don’t have kids, find some. Nieces,
nephews, girl scouts, your neighbor’s kids. Tell them you were scared of
brown and black people, in addition to those monstrous gays, and that
you were really sick to death of contributing to a society that was
slowly trying to stop catering to your every stupid fucking whim. Let
them know your reasons. It wasn’t personal. You were just sick of all
those smug climate change scientists.
Whatever the case may be. Whatever compelled you to vote your shallow,
shitty conscience for a man who repeatedly made it clear that he was
going to fuck you, and fuck you hard. Just tell them the truth. You
don’t give a shit about them.
And boy oh boy, if you thought the
education system in this country was fucked before, strap in. We’re
about to make No Child Left Behind look like a staggering testament to