I remember saying you like begged me to download the sorry for the wait mixtape; which i did for you and i didnt really like it at first but now i love it. It brings me back to better times when we hung out and danced to music well i danced cuz u told me too. And i cant help but smile listening to all of the songs you showed me because nothing could ever replace the amazing memories i have with you. I remember when i first met you, i didn’t think you’d mean anywhere near as much to me as you do mean to me now. I never would have thought you’d end up being the most important person in my life. And even if we’ve both changed over the years, you always remained my best friend. And you were always the person who knew me better than anyone. You understood me like no one else and i know i knew you better than most people did too. Sure, we grew up from the trampoline and guitar hero but we still were the same person just more mature. And going through all of this has definitely made me more mature and stronger and from now on i’m definitely gonna make the best of things and not take it for granted. Im gonna make the best out of every situation and i remember back when you first passed, i balled my eyes out writing these but honestly this has made me stronger getting my feelings out. No, it hasnt gotten better without you and it won’t but now i’m actually able to smile because i know you want me to. Its just something i have to deal with because its not gonna change. So i want you to know just because i dont cry as much as i used to, doesnt mean i dont miss you, everyday i miss you more and more, and i’ll always be torn apart by this but ive realized i gotta try to be happy because you would want me to be. And that’s what im doing. The pain is never gonna change but how i handle it will. Im always gonna try my best to manage a smile, even when i’m hurt. And i know sometimes i won’t be able to but i’m glad I've gained some strength. In a weird way, i’m strong about this but yet still heartbroken over it. And thats how it will be for the rest of my life. Its hard to explain it to someone who doesnt know what i’m going through. But its true, underneath that smile and happiness, i still carry a pain that gets worse and worse everyday. But i smile for the person i mourn for because he was the greatest person I've ever met & no one will ever beat that. I love you kiante.