nicki tweets

celebrities read mean tweets: exy edition

  • neil reads all of the tweets with the most stoic expression
  • @/andrewminyard03: i don’t get why people hype josten so much, he’s an idiot”
  • neil: same
  • after a while he starts to answer in different languages just to piss the producers off
  • wymack is watching and asking abby why didn’t he let andrew kill neil with that racquet when they first saw him
  • twenty minutes into the show, neil looks up with bored expression and says “can i get some tweets that aren’t from andrew”
  • no, they’re all from andrew
  • andrew refuses to do it at all and asked about it aaron says that it’s because he’s got enough of nicky, the meanest bitch
  • nicky is so offended he doesn’t send aaron a christmas card
  • kevin always gets the meanest ones and he wants to fight everyone
  • @/nhemmick: kevin day can stick his racquet up his ass, he can’t play in a team for shit”
  • kevin: how ‘bout i stick it up your ass, hemmick? maybe if you’d play it like you mean it i would be able to play in a team you fucki-
  • the producer: mr day this is national tv, can you-
  • kevin: FIGHT ME
  • dan and matt do it together but they don’t get any mean tweets because nicky spams with praises about matt’s handsome face and alvarez spams about dan’s body to die for
  • renee and allison do it together too but it’s just renee reading the tweets with the nicest smile while allison talks about neil in jorts for the whole hour because what the fuck i know he lived under a rock but come one josten COME ON
  • (after the show all of the people that sent mean things about renee apologized because she’s a total sweetheart how could they ever tell her something like that also andrew threatened to break their legs so there’s that)
  • nicky fucking laughs at everything he reads
  • @/andrewminyard03: this isn’t hooker convention, this is nicky hemmick’s wedding”
  • nicky: get rekt minyard
  • @/kevinday: nicky hemmick is a brooklyn hipster piece of shit and i’m gonna fight him”
  • nicky: kevin day has a shrine dedicated to jeremy knox and he kisses the pictures before every important game
  • (kevin personally flies from new york to germany two days later and erik has to wrestle him to the ground to stop kevin from breaking an exy racquet over nicky’s head)
  • jeremy knox agrees to do it because he’s sure people won’t be mean to him
  • they are
  • (mostly his former teammates, read: alvarez)
  • jeremy: i didn’t win a team spirit award for five years straight for this
  • jean reads only two tweets
  • “jean moreau sounds llike he has a dick in his mouth all the time”
  • jean: what’s wrong with having a dick in my mouth?
  • jeremy cries behind the scenes
  • “jean moreau looks like this person who doesn’t deserve to be famous but he slipped thru the cracks and ppl were like ‘ok’, i hope he dies”
  • jean slides from the chair to the ground and gets so close to the camera you can only see his mouth
  • jean: god i hope so too
  • that’s it because jeremy drags him out of there
  • no one knows if he was joking
  • kevin calls him ten minutes later to ask if he’s okay
  • jean hangs up on him
  • the producers never ask exy players to do any of it again
  • wymack is glad
4

Ovi Has No Chill When It Comes To His Center, Exhibit #67,341:

He tweeted at Nicky to tell him that he missed him… while they were on the same plane. He then told all his twitter followers to support Nicky, and only managed to wait an entire four minutes before then reminding them again.

the monsters as wolfpupy tweets
  • neil: where people like you see a problem i see opportunity to create worse problems
  • andrew: i don't care one way or the other way, no matter what way i don't care
  • kevin: i'm not going to claim that i know everything, i am simply going to act like it
  • aaron: before anyone says anything i just want to leave so i am not around to hear it
  • nicky: if theres one thing i dont know about its everything