nicholas worth

am i the only one who found glenn’s (supposed) death oddly beautiful

of course like everyone i am mortified and distraught that glenn is most likely dead. i loved him and honestly you could have probably killed anyone else (yes, including rick and daryl) and i would not have felt the absolute tragedy that i did when i saw glenn screaming and potentially having his guts (ironic, season 1, episode two where glenn is first introduced is titled guts, kill me) torn out and the absolute horror that was portrayed on his face. i am also still in denail that he is gone but am still somehow trying to make peace with him being so if he is. 

but more so onto glenn’s death and how i somehow (strangely) found it fitting for his character. 

glenn died with someone that tried to kill him and killed someone that he cared so much about (noah). glenn died trying to give that person an extra chance at life despite what he had been through with that person. glenn tried to wean nicholas into a person worth being and in the end that got him killed. he gave him so much and you can only give someone so much before they take more than you can give. and by that i mean glenn’s own life. 

glenn died (supposedly, yes) due to the very thing that made him so large in our hearts. he’s purity and kindness and love for maintaining humanity in not only himself but in others. i think that glenn saw that this was his downfall in his very last moments and yet he didn’t seem to regret helping nicholas in the ways that he had but he seemed to regret not being able to save him. of course glenn doesn’t want to die, but who does nowadays in that universe when you somehow have so much to live for unlike most? but i think glenn would embrace his death a duty that he had to pay for trying to save nicholas. 

everyone keeps saying, “glenn didn’t have a heroic death!” “glenn’s death was so pitiful!” “glenn deserved such a better death!” and in a way that can be justified in whatever point of view that you have on his demise- but for me? i see this as glenn dying saving someone. glenn died trying to save nicholas from the cowardice and selfishness that had consumed him in this entire world. and nicholas even thanks him for that before killing himself. however you can only help someone so much before they have to begin helping themselves. and nicholas is not able to do that. 

i don’t believe he intentionally meant to drag glenn down with him. glenn after all is the one who grabbed him. nicholas just couldn’t grasp this world the same way glenn had. he couldn’t endure it. 

but i love glenn, guys. and i hope that he is alive. i really do. i hope he somehow scampered his sneaky little ass underneath that fucking dumpster like rick did the tank in season 2 and he slips down into a sewer hole or something and finds rick and says, “hey dumb ass in the rv, cozy in there?” and the two skip away to alexandria in the loving arms of the other. and i won’t lose that hope until it is confirmed. which it hopefully will be soon enough. cause god i love glenn, he’s so beautiful in every way possible. let’s all just hope he lives on to save fucking rick and everyone else. including me cause god if hes gone i am too.