nicholas ball

Though he had moved to Paris some years ago, I still saw him around town quite often. Why did he keep coming back, I wondered? “To practice my French. In Paris everyone immediately realises I’m not a native speaker, so use me to practice their English. I haven’t had more than two conversations in French since I moved there. So every couple of months I come back to London and do my ‘Ecksoose me, ah dah nat speek, uh, ze Eengleesh veʁy ouiell’ act. Of course the trouble with this country is there aren’t enough bloody foreigners, so it doesn’t work as often as I’d like, but I do better here than I do in France.” I could press him no futher on this curious French accent as I was rushing to return a rare volume of Nicholas Moore to the library.

8

Fairytales From all around the world - Anastasia ( Russia)

In 1916, Tsar Nicholas II hosts a ball at the Catherine Palace to celebrate the Romanov tricentennial. His mother, the Dowager Empress Marie Feodorovna, gives a music box and a necklace inscribed with the words “Together in Paris” as parting gifts to her youngest granddaughter, Grand Duchess Anastasia.The ball is interupted by Rasputin who curses the royal family which leads to the uprising of the nation and the murder of the whole royal family except for the Empress Marie and Anastasia.10 years after the revolution Anastasia has grown up in an orphanage, under the name of Anya and doesn’t remember who she is.She wants to go to Paris to find her family, and so joins up with two con artists, Dimitri and Vlad, who realise that she really resembles the princess and would be a perfect candidate to fool the grandmother into giving them the reward for finding Anastasia.Later they discover that Anastasia is actually the princess and she finally reunites with her family.

Let’s face it

No matter how fast the world produces people who need punching, eventually we’re gonna run out.

Unless we plan now to extract people from history and beat the crap out of them, our children will have no one to punch at all! They’ll be forced to punch each other!

We are wasting valuable time here! Someone invent time travel so I can extract Thomas Jefferson from the past and punch his lights out.

10

Classic Who actors in other roles:

Ian Marter as ex-cop Tommy Roper in ‘Hazell and the Big Sleep’, a 1979 episode of Hazell

…in which Roper calls in his old partner Hazell, now a private detective, to help solve a spate of robberies at the hotel where he is head-of-security…

(with bonus Nicholas Ball. In his undies)

9/10