nice-ladies

3

Good thing Tally decided at the last minute to open up the clinic on a sunday night, look who’s made an appearance…. It’s mine and my puppers simselves!  

Poor little Teeka, what’s wrong?? Let the nice lady, Tally, fix you up okay? I promise she doesn’t bite! 

These screens are so accurate, I look like I’m about to implode with anxiety, apparently even my simself hates leaving the house and socialising….
& Teeka totally works herself up into a state the second we walk through the Vet’s doors irl too.! 

 

Man Up

by reddit user Pippinacious

When the bookstore at the mall put up its help wanted posters, I jumped at the chance to put in my application. Between being an avid reader who had practically lived amongst the store’s shelves in high school and a broke community college student taking a semester off to save money, it seemed still customer service.

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high quality meme starters

taken from all over the internet, some specifically from the youtube channel siIvagunner . 

  • ❝ can i get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh BONELESS PIZZA
  • ❝ and his name is ……. JOHN CENA !
  • ❝ succ ❞
  • ❝ BUENOS DIAS MANDY ❞
  • ❝ n - nani ?!?
  • ❝ omae wa, mou shindeiru . ❞
  • ❝ how many layers of irony are you on right now ?
  • SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME . ❞
  • [ obnoxious sound of the ever popular rickroll ]
  • ❝ they see me rollin’ . they hatin’ . ❞
  • ❝ todokete, setsunasa ni wa !
  • ❝ nice of the princess to invite us over for dinner, gay __ ?
  • ❝ i hope she made lotsa spaghetti !
  • ❝ it’s the nutshack !
  • ❝ BITCH YOU GUESSED IT !
  • ❝ AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII, WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
  • ❝ whoa …. whoa …. whoa …….. WHOA ! WHOAWHOAWHOAWHOAWHOA
  • ❝ gee ! it sure is BORING around here !
  • ❝ you know what they say: all toasters … toast toast !
  • ❝ it’s hiiiiiiigh noon . ❞
  • ❝ eyyyyyyyyy, sexy lady !
  • ❝ nice . >:] ❞
  • ❝ i’ll have a number nine large . ❞
  • ❝ the more you know !
  • ❝ look at my horse . my horse is amazing . ❞
  • ❝ epic jojoke . ❞
  • ❝ squadala, we’re off !
  • ❝ are you sure about that ?
  • [ dabs ]
  • ❝ let it go ! let it go !
  • ❝ are you …. a real villain ?
  • ❝ well, uh … technically, uh …. nah . ❞
  • ❝ we are number one !
  • ❝ notice me, senpai !
  • ❝ you’re gonna have a bad time  - sans undertale [ 2015 ]
  • ❝ pokemon go to the polls . ❞
  • ❝ is only game . why u hef to be mad ?
  • ❝ snooPINGAS usual i see . ❞
  • ❝ POOTIS . ❞
  • ❝ ECH . ❞
  • ❝ do not presume . ❞
  • ❝ i’m gay . ❞
  • ❝ i have crippling depression !
  • ❝ expand dong . ❞
  • ❝ HE HAS NO STYLE ! HE HAS NO GRACE !
  • ❝ according to all known laws of aviation
  • ❝ what the fuck did you just say to me you little bitch ?
  • ❝ GOOD SHIT . ❞
  • ❝ i play pokemon go everyday !
  • ❝ BEGONE, THOT . ❞
  • ❝ jesus christ it’s jason bourne . ❞
  • ❝ BEHOLD THE POWER OF MY STAND !
  • taaaaaaaake oooooooooon meeeeeeeeee !
  • ❝ GET TO THE CHOPPA !
  • ❝ all your base . now belong to us . ❞
  • WOOMY . ❞
  • ❝ i used to be an adventurer like you, until i took an arrow to the knee . ❞
  • ❝ look at this dude . oh nononononono …. ❞
  • ❝ i am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand !
  • ❝ exotic butters . ❞
  • ❝ gotta go fast !
  • ❝ what does the fox say ?
  • ❝ pen pineapple apple pen . ❞
  • ❝ NOOOOOOO . PLEASE GOD NO, NO . NO . NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  • ❝ get out of my swamp !
  • ❝ look at all those chickens !
  • ❝ i’m blue, dabudee dabudi . ❞
  • ❝ thank you, __ ! but your princess is in another castle !
  • ❝ here i come, rougher than the rest of them . ❞
  • HEHEHE I AM A SUPAHSTAR WARRIAH
  • ❝ press f to pay respects . ❞
  • ❝ the cake is a lie . ❞
  • ❝ owo what’s this ?
  • SAY WHAAAAAAAT ?
  • ❝ now this is a story all about how my life got twisted upside down . ❞
  • ❝ it’s lit, fam !
  • ❝ yes, hello . i was wondering i you could play that song, again . ❞
  • ❝ smoke weed every day . ❞
  • ❝ but hey, that’s just a theory ! A GAME THEORY !
  • ❝ is that a motherfucking jojo reference ???
  • [ room on fire ] this is fine . ❞
  • ❝ fuck the police, comin’ straight from the underground !
  • ❝ this bitch empty . YEET !
  • ❝ god i wish that was me . ❞
  • ❝ fuck this shit i’m out . ❞
  • [ knuckles voice ] oh no . ❞
  • ❝ yeah bOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
  • ❝ dicks out for harambe . ❞
  • ❝ guess i’ll die . ❞
  • ❝ ya like jazz ?
  • ❝ ow the edge ❞
  • W H O M S T’ D V E
  • ❝ words can’t hurt me these shades are gucci . ❞
  • ❝ __, shut the fuck up and get the fuck out . ❞
  • ❝ it’s over nine thousand !!
  • ❝ HEEEEEEYEYAAAAAEYAAAEYEYE !!!!
  • ❝ rollin’ around at the speed of sound !
  • ❝ but that all changed when the fire nation attacked . ❞
  • ❝ that day, humanity received a grim reminder . ❞
  • ❝ DOH !
  • ❝ two to the one to the one to the three . ❞
  • ❝ so long, gay bowser !
  • ❝ WEEWOO WEEWOO ❞
  • ❝ GRAND DAD . ❞
  • ❝ IT’S HIP TO FUCK BEES . ❞
  • DON’T FUCK WITH ME I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON MY SIDE
  • ❝ inhale my dong enragement child ❞
  • ❝ HERE COME DAT BOI ❞
  • ❝ look at this photograph !
  • ❝ souljia boy i tell ‘em . ❞
  • ❝ you know i had to do it to ‘em . ❞
  • ❝ wake me up [ WAKE ME UP INSIDE ]
  • ❝ can’t touch this . ❞
  • ❝ deja vu ! i’ve just been in this place before !
8

another meme i won’t finish: 3/20 movies ♥️ spiderman: homecoming
I stopped a grand theft bicycle. Couldn’t find the owner, so I just left a note. I helped this nice old Dominican lady. She was really nice and bought me a churro. I just feel like I could be doing more. Was curious when the next mission would be. Cheers, call me back. It’s Peter. Parker.

anonymous asked:

1) Taako pulls off some sweet flips with Carey and Killian, so much so it becomes a regular thing, one day it's going great but Taako ends up with a super broken arm (like breaks in three different places) he's not in pain but he's on enough painkillers to make an elephant high. Kravitz of course comes to the hospital after Killian calls apologizing. Taako looks at Kravitz, sniffling and just asks "are you my husband????? These nice ladies said he was coming." Kravitz just smiles and corrects

2) him. “I’m your fiancé love.” Taako just smiles and spends probably twenty minutes just holding Kravitz’s hand while asking Kravitz if he likes ferrets and Mongeese. Killian is apologizing so much “he’s on the really REALLY good shit, he’s gonna be like this for at least the rest of the day. It was the only way they could get him to hold still for the stitches and X-rays and shit.” Taako tries to shush everyone when they try to curse “there’s a little tiny baby human nearby, I know it.”

3) of corse that baby is Angus, who brought some crackers from the cafeteria. “See! It’s the tiny human who likes to read!!!!” Killian has to direct Taako’s hug to Kravitz. Taako doesn’t mind, he’s hugging a handsome guy, a handsome guy who’s apparently his husband to be!!!!! Taako just kinda doesn’t stop hugging Kravitz, mostly because he’s tired and mostly because Kravitz is holding his arm so it doesn’t hurt. “I love you, you know that?” Taako just tells everyone how much he loves Kravitz.

4) Taako finally sleeps and he can go home when he’s not loopy anymore. Lup films all of it. -Bunny

I had to drabble this, under the cut

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French students harass and bully me for asking them to speak English in an English-taught class, so I get them expelled.

This happened a few years back in China, at one of the universities there. Here, I was studying Chinese language and I shared my language class with some people from France and Belgium (the French speaking part). Our Chinese teacher was a really nice little lady that happened to also speak French. So often, whenever the French speakers had a question, they would ask it in French. Now, I didn’t really mind it all that much but at some point, it got to the point where about half of the questions in the class were asked in a language I did not understand. Obviously that is detrimental to my own learning experience since understanding the questions is important for me to learn the language. So I politely asked them if we could just do the class in English because about half of us didn’t understand what was being asked.

Laoshi (the teacher) was very nice about it and afterwards, asked the students if they could rephrase their question in English when they asked it in French. But apparently the French and Belgian girls and guys didn’t take it so well. They were constantly glaring at me, and whispering among themselves in French. Well, I just shrugged and moved on.

However, outside of class they were always sticking together in their own little group, doing things together. At first they would just walk past me when I was sitting down having a beer with my friends, and they would simply glare. But at some point it came down to them cursing, talking shit about me to other students and spitting on my lap when I was sitting in the park. Obviously I was seething so I might have called them a few words which were a bit too unsavoury. Anyhow, they didn’t take it well.

So the next day, I found out that they scribbled all sorts of things on my dorm room. It said ‘肏你妈’ (basically: fuck your mother) and 'nazi’ (I don’t actually know why they put this one. I think they thought I was German, which I’m not). Obviously I was pissed, but I didn’t really know what to do so I reported it to the International Student Office. ISO was really nice and understanding, but told me they can’t actually do much unless I provide proof that something is happening.

Thus, I went on Taobao and and bought a little recording camera (looked a bit like a dashcam, it had the time and date and everything). After the university had painted my room door over (they couldn’t get the markers off apparently) I hung the camera up in a corner of our dorm corridor and pointed it at my door. Then I left and made sure to loop around a little bit to walk past the group of French/Belgians so that they knew I was leaving campus towards the metro station.

I had some nice dumpling soup and a beer and when I came back, look and behold! Once again they were hardly creative with their insults (just more of the same) but this time I had proof! I checked the video and I was very pleased: 5 out of 7 of the group were actually there, and all wrote down something on the door with permanent marker. One of the guys even kicked the door which caused a crack at the bottom (these doors were not very sturdy). They seemed to have a lot of fun doing it.

Now, of course the school was properly pissed when I showed them the video. Normally the students would just get a stern warning but because ISO was aware that they were doing it before, and also about the fact that they were harassing me all the time (I reported everything to them when it happened) they were less than understanding this time and suggested the board that had to decide on this (no idea what their name was, I couldn’t recognize their name in Hanzi) to expell the students.

And so they were. All of this took place over the course of a couple of months, so we were nearing the end of the semester. The five students who scribbled at my door got expelled just before their exams, which meant that all the time they spent at the university was effectively worthless since they did not receive any credits for it. But it gets even better. After this whole ordeal, I sent a neat (anonymous) letter in Chinese (one of my Chinese friends helped me write it) to the Public Security Bureau that these students had engaged in vandalism at our university. A few weeks later, after I had already returned home, I was told by a friend of mine who was on good terms with their group that some of them had booked tickets and hostels to travel in China at the end of the semester. However, their visa extension was denied by the Public Security Bureau on the basis of their misdemeanour at the university.

I’m not sure if the second part was caused because of my letter, or simply because the university informed the police, but I like to pretend that it was the former. So I was just laughing my ass off as they slaved away half a year in courses for which they would receive no credit, and had to cancel thousands worth of travel plans. That truly was a sweet, sweet feeling.

Library Vigilante

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Content/Warnings: Fluff, second hand embarrassment

Words: 2360

Prompt: Library AU ‘You’re overdue on this book and I want it so I’m tracking u the fuck down’ 

You can request more by dropping me an with an idea or pick a prompt from my favourite prompt lists one liners, 100 kinks, generals, AU’s and holiday prompts :) Hope you enjoy!


“I’m sorry, that book still hasn’t been returned to us yet.” The kind lady behind the desk spoke as she tapped away at her keys, “The gentlemen who has it is going to have a hefty fine when he decides to return it.” 

“He’s gonna have more than a hefty fine.” You mumbled, tapping your fingers off the desk. “How long overdue is it?” You asked, peering over the desk at the screen hoping to catch a glimpse of the name of this mysterious gentlemen. The librarian pulled her screen away abruptly making you huff in defeat. 

“I’m sorry Miss but that’s confidential information, you’ll have to wait until the book is returned or try another library.” She pulled her mouth into a tight line and began typing once again. You needed that book, it was the last one in the series and you were not prepared to pay a whole $25 on a book, not when there was a perfectly good one you could loan out for free. Slumping on the desk the librarian peered at you over her glasses, “Do you need anything else dear?” Yes I do I need that bloody book.

Pulling your head up you put on the best fake smile you could muster and glanced quickly at her name tag. “Susan,” You beamed, leaning ever slightly towards her “I just really need that book. You see, a poor art student like me doesn’t have a lot of money and libraries are where I can enjoy myself without having to pay and -”

“You should always donate some change to your local libraries dear, we have bills too you know.” Your smile dropped momentarily before you realised your face was betraying your annoyance. “Oh yes! I know that only too well Susan, see if you could just give me the details of the man who has the book I want, I could do you a favour and go and collect it.” Susan stared at you blankly, her fingers stilled over her keyboard. “I could be the libraries vigilante if you like.” You laughed, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear nervously. “Like an avenger, only on a smaller scale.”

Susan began to shake her head as you clasped your hands together, “We don’t need -”

“No I know you don’t but see I need that book!” You snapped at her, you’d already tried the other libraries for it when you discovered last week that it was loaned out. Unfortunately for you so were all the other copies. You gave her your award winning puppy dog face before she switched the computer off and placed a sign on her desk saying ‘Out to lunch’. You frowned as you watched her collect her things and move to the room that was reserved for staff only. 

It was completely empty in there, it was your local library that you frequented quite often but never really saw anyone else there. You weren’t stupid, you knew that being the closest library to the local college there was always students drifting in trying to look inconspicuous as they made their way to the first floor history section. Wandering around the place you realised that the place was actually empty, Susan was out back for her 45 minute break and no doubt there were students canoodling upstairs but…You were alone.

Heart racing with sweaty palms, you ran around to the other side of the desk and switched the computer on. All you needed was a name and an address and then you could hightail it out of there like nothing had happened. 

“Okay, calm down, you’re not hacking S.H.I.E.L.D…” You mumbled as you were faced with a password entry system. Putting your head in your hands you glanced around the desk, there wasn’t much save for a photo of a man in a cap and gown and a bobble head of Thor. You snorted, flicking his head as you racked your brain for an idea. Pausing, you began to type.

Books. Password denied.

Avengers. Password denied.

One attempt left. You glanced at the nodding Thor and tried again, holding your breath you typed Thor.

Password accepted.

“Black widow eat your heart out!” You muttered before typing the name of the book into the database. “Susan, we all have our vices.” It had been loaned out for quite a while, the man who currently possessed it has had it for 7 weeks. Who takes 7 weeks to read a book?! You thought while pulling up his details.

Grabbing a pen from a pot you quickly scribbled down his name and address on a piece of paper before switching the computer off again and hightailing it out of there.

It was a warm day so you decided to walk seeing as it was only a couple of blocks away from the library, you were running through the scenario of how the situation was going to go in your head when you realised that it wasn’t quite as far as you had thought. It was a small set of fancy apartments that was just down the road from the avengers tower, you remember the media saying that Tony Stark had built them but no one figured out what for. 

You scanned the list of names next to buzzers until you found the one you were after, “Donald Blake you’re mine!” You whispered as you pushed the buzzer for the apartment above his. 

“Hello?” A voice crackled through the intercom.

“Hi! I’m Donald’s girlfriend and I thought I’d surprise him,” You chirped, “he think’s I’m in California!” This better work.

Oh how romantic! Do you want me to buzz you in?” The voice asked.

You let out a silent prayer to whatever God happened to be listening before replying in a sickly sweet voice, “Yes thank you that would be amazing!”

Moments later you heard the tell tale buzz of the door unlocking, you quickly rushed through the glass doors and into the lift, pushing the button for the 3rd floor. The end was in sight, you were so close to getting the book and if you were honest, the adrenaline from the whole thing was more fun now than actually getting the book. The doors opened as your stepped out and made your way to the only door, steeling yourself you took a deep breath in and knocked quickly.

Picking at the skin around your thumbs you stopped breathing when the door opened to reveal none other than Thor, God of thunder himself.

He looked bigger than you’d imagined. Not that you’d imagined him of course, but he seemed bigger than he did on TV. You swallowed quickly as your checked the name and address on the slip of paper.

You looked up at the confused God, “Hi, does uh, Donald Blake live here?” You asked quickly, glancing at the paper before showing the God the slip too.

His laughter was like a boom, deep and hearty his whole body shook as he stepped aside to let you in. He shut the door behind himself before he led you through to a sitting room.

“Loki!” He laughed, gesturing to a man reclining on a chaise in the window, book open in hand. He was handsome you’d give him that, not in the obvious way like Thor but handsome non the less for a guy who tried to take over New York.

Your eyes locked with his when you realised that Donald Blake probably wasn’t gonna be sharing an apartment with the two asgardian brothers. Loki’s eyes roamed over your form as you stood next to his brother, his gaze was calculating and judgemental but not as cold and icy as you’d thought it would be. There was more indifference really.

“Brother.” He replied eventually, his voice more silky than you’d expected it. His eye’s had gone back to his book once he’d examined you and Thor motioned for you to sit.

“No thank you,” You noticed the younger prince’s eyes snap over to watch the scene unfold. “I’ve actually come for Donald Blake.” Puffing your chest out you turned away from Thor’s amused smile to glare at the raven haired prince who was watching you with curiosity.

“I’m guessing Donald Blake is a fake name, I don’t care. All I know is that I didn’t hack into that stupid computer using your name,” You shoved a finger into Thor’s chest before pausing and smiling, “Susan loves you by the way, you’d make her day if you visited.” Turning back around to Loki you noticed he’d close his book and sat up, your nerves were getting the better of you now as he stood up to his full height.

He’s taller than I thought he’d be.

“Anyway, you’re overdue on a book I want so I’ve tracked you down so you can return it.” Placing your hands on your hips you nodded once, signalling that you were finished. 

Loki’s mouth fell agape slightly before looking off to the side confused. Your confidence and bravado that had spurred you on had left, the adrenaline in your veins was replaced with fire as you felt yourself getting more embarrassed with each beat of silence.

Thor had taken to sitting on the couch that Loki was leaning on, a large smile plastered onto his distractingly attractive face. “You hacked into the libraries system?” Loki clarified.

You nodded. “Found our name and address?”

Oh god.

Came here, let yourself in.”

Oh no.

Knocked on our door and now you’re demanding a book back so that you may read it?”

I sound like a freakin’ psycho.

Thor looked between me and his brother who at that moment in time, had his head cocked to the left and was studying you very intently.

“How did you get into the building?” Thor laughed, taking a swig of whatever was in the bright rainbow coloured mug. 

Oh god now I’m gonna sound insane, officially insane. You thought before clasping your hands behind your back, rocking on the balls of your feet. “There’s a very nice lady upstairs, and uh, I told her that I’d flew in from California to see my boyfriend, Donald.” Thor clasped Loki on the shoulder and stood up taking his rainbow mug and his chuckles with him down the corridor.

You panicked, how could the god of thunder leave you with the god who’d tried to take over your planet not even 5 years earlier? Movement caught your eye as you watched Loki move with every bit of elegance you’d expect from a prince over to a leaning pile of books in the corner. 

He didn’t seem as bad as every said really, watching him move books from the top to the bottom before moving the pile all together to sift through another you began to wonder.

“Which one’s your favourite?” You asked quietly, his hands pausing for a moment before carrying on with their task. You left it there, you’d already made yourself look like a lunatic and didn’t want to annoy the trickster god anymore by asking him mundane questions. 

He seemed to find what he was looking for and straightened up, walking over to where you were with three very purposeful strides. “Here,” He spoke softly, handing you the book you’d come for. You smiled and flicked through the pages out of habit. “It’s this series actually.”

Your smile dropped as you looked up to him, realising that he was answering your question after all. “I rather liked this series, of all the boring books earth has to offer these one’s are rather amusing I suppose.” 

“If you like these one’s then any of the books written by Neil Gaiman would probably suit you,” You let out a breathy laugh as you tucked the book into your rucksack. “His stories are about norse gods actually, and how they -” You stopped as you realised you were babbling again, with a wave of your hand you glanced at the door. “You don’t care, why would you? I should get out of your hair, thanks for the book.” You turned to leave as Thor entered the room again.

Waving at him over Loki’s shoulder you turned back to the raven haired god, “Maybe I’ll see you at the library sometime,” You smiled at him as you pulled the door open, “bring money, Susan says you’ve a hefty fine waiting for you!” You laughed nervously before closing the door behind you. 

Mind whirling from meeting two very handsome gods, you leaned against the wall as you waited for the elevator to arrive. “Book lady!” Your head whipped round to see Thor standing in the doorway to the apartment you’d just exited.

“Yeah?” You answered as you saw Loki glancing nervously between his brother and you, “What’s your name?” Thor boomed as the lift arrived with a ding.

You grinned, “Y/N.” Stepping into the lift you tried to ignore the quiet bickering that was going on between the two brothers. You pressed the button for the ground floor but it wasn’t moving, and the doors wouldn’t close either. Watching as Thor grinned at his brother while talking quietly you began to stroll back over to the pair.

“Not to sound imposing, but the elevator’s broke.” Loki glared hard at Thor once more before watching his brother walk away. 

Loki’s mouth opened and then closed again, looking off the the side you followed his gaze but found nothing of interest.

“You ok Loki?” His head snapped back with wide eyes.

He cleared his throat and nodded, “Would you like to get coffee?” He asked quickly, glancing behind him at Thor who was grinning like a mad man.

Once again you felt yourself warm up as you nodded a bit too quickly, “I think I’d really like that.” Loki’s face relaxed as he grabbed a jacket from the coat stand and pulled the door shut. “You take every girl who tracks you down for books out for coffee?” You teased, taking the stairs with him.

He smirked as he held the glass entry door for you, “Only the ones called Y/N.”

Grandma Candy

Context: Our group is mostly newbies to D&D and we were trying to find an elusive dwarf by questioning a kind old woman who owns a general store.

Ponchaar, our dragonborn cleric was questioning the nice old lady normally while everyone else was trying to sneak in questions. The important one was “do you have any food”. The answer to that was for the lady to set out a bowl of that strawberry candy every grandma has and we all take a handful.

DM: So you all grab your candy and the nice lady will keep telling you about your lost dwarf

Me OOC: I take more candy

DM: She gives you some hard side eye

Me OOC: I sneakily take some candy *rolls a 27*

DM: ok you really sneankily take some candy

Me OOC: I take some more candy….

This continued until we left the lady’s house and I had to make a special place in my bag for all the grandma candy I now have. 

broken rings & queens and kings | kth

summary: to make a long, long story very, very short, you and kim taehyung have been sworn enemies ever since childhood, that is, until you find out that you’re betrothed to each other for the good of your kingdoms, and everything comes crumbling down.

{a long (and quite frankly, unnecessary) mixture of enemies to lovers!au, royalty!au, and arranged marriage!au}

pairing: taehyung x female reader
word count: 24k (ahhhhhhhhH!!!!!!!!)
genre: fluff, light angst, light smut
warnings: hate sex and strong language (when will i ever stop w/ the hate sex)
a/n: u guys don’t know how much this took out of me. dedicated to the one and only @guktwt, without whom i wouldn’t have even written this. this one’s for u, lara!! 

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