nice guys

A lot of Nice Guys wonder why women reject them and instead chase after Bad Boys.

It’s because the Bad Boy really isn’t that bad, and the Nice Guy really isn’t that nice.

The Bad Boy moves on when he’s rejected. He does not ask for a reason. He does not try to make her feel guilty. He does not say “you’re ugly anyway” in order to save his ego. He knows that not everyone is going to like him. He’s more than happy to have women as friends.

The Nice Guy complains when he’s rejected. He won’t accept any reason other than “I have a boyfriend.” Even if she does have a boyfriend, he’ll wait until the boyfriend does something wrong then expect her to dump her boyfriend and date the Nice Guy instead (a common theme of “romantic” songs). He whines about women being stuck up b***hes who won’t give him a chance. He thinks he’s perfect for her because he thinks he knows her better than she knows herself. He complains about women having standards even though he has standards. He complains about the “friend zone”. He expects a reward for every nice thing he does.

For women who are constantly worried about men harassing them, the Bad Boy is a hell of a lot safer than the Nice Guy. The Bad Boy who flirts with many women but makes sure it’s consensual, doesn’t pretend he wants a commitment when he doesn’t, and moves on without question when rejected is a hell of a lot less threatening than the Nice Guy who feels entitled to a woman’s affection.

Most abusive men are not Bad Boys. Most abusive men are Nice Guys who “turned into” assholes because they didn’t get what they feel entitled to.

“Not all men” literally adds nothing to the conversation. If your intention, by reminding women that “not all men” do this, is to position yourself as one of the “good guys,” let me tell you that it doesn’t. If anything, it illustrates the pervasiveness of the problem, and moreover, it makes you look like an oblivious ass. Thanks for listening.