nice to know that it felt that way from the inside too

How do I tell you that when you left me it tore out all the good parts of me too. In four years when we bump into each other at the store and you’re with another girl do I blurt, “We were a delicate perfection but you were a strong wind” do I look at her until my eyes turn inside out and I melt onto the ground.

My hands sweaty, my hair a mess. We barely make eye contact. Do you know you were the worst pain I ever felt. Do you know I had to grow a new heart from scratch. Do you know that some sick part of me still wants your approval.

It’s a nice day, isn’t it? Oh, didn’t know you lived around here. Yesterday I was making breakfast and had to stop because suddenly I remembered the way you smiled in the morning. She seems lovely. How bout those red sox.

Batfleck

Ok, but seriously, Ben Affleck’s Batman has to be the best, most well-acted interpretation we have ever had.

I mean, Christian Bale’s Batman was too polished. It felt one-dimensional, in many ways, and too well put together, too nicely done.

Batfleck was fucked up. It was raw, and realistic, and so unbelievably human - i mean you could feel his awkwardness, and out-of-placeness just oozing from the screen. His Brucie persona actually felt like a persona, like he was actually putting on a mask, and making that concisous effort to stop it from slipping. Every fiber of him seemed to be dripping with this innate ability to actually connect with the world around him, to be normal. 

I don’t really know how to explain it. He wasn’t just some broody motherfucker who sat in front the fire contemplating his childhood trauma (which really, has been so overdone that it has become pointless to the audience). Instead, Batfleck had this immense, silent darkness inside of him, like a black hole within. It was an actual interpretation of depression, and you could feel it in every move he made - the numbness, the quiet, the range of emotions from black silent to raging cold anger…

I really cannot explain this character enough. Ben’s Batman was so good and raw. He is a fucking amazing actor, and someone needs him to give a bloody flower crown (more Oscars. This man needs more Oscars. How the hell can someone be good in everything?)

I hope you find someone who loves you unconditionally and will always be there for you. Even when you’re scared and doubtful, angry or tired, sad or happy. (I let my own worries get in the way sometimes and I apologize)

I hope you find somebody who plays with your hair at 3am and tells you about their dreams and nightmares. Who spills their soul out to you and trusts you to hold it with cupped hands and a filling heart. (I’m sorry I talked too much)

I hope you find somebody who’s entire face catches the sunlight perfectly so everyone stops and stares, but you know they only look at you with those bright and hopeful eyes. (Was my pale and puffy skin too scary for you?)

I hope you find someone who’s words make you feel like your insides became butterflies, and leaves you praying for more because lord it’s a beautiful feeling. (I would know from the way you talked on and on)

I hope you find a lover with a wide heart and less fears than I, someone willing to take chances I myself was too scared to try (I was always a coward but you were alight with something amazing)

I hope your lover will be your stars and moon, their pale light reflected from your own as you both somehow seem to make each other shine brighter and even more breath taking. (You always took my breath away, but I fear one day I’ll suffocate)

For the love of god, I hope you find someone more worthy than me.

Because you deserve it.

—  A Millions Things I Should Have Said