A while ago I realized, you can, and should, do things to make yourself happy. There are no guarantees; there are many, many things that you simply cannot control. But it is your responsibility to put in effort. So, I tried. I began to wear nice and elegant outfits to rather dull places, like school or on a walk around the neighborhood, to make it feel like I was doing something nice and elegant. I would take photos of the most boring objects and places, using lighting and angles to manipulate them into something as beautiful as I envisioned in my head. I looked in the mirror, and instead of picking at the flaws that screamed at me, I would search for the things that made me happy about who I was. It was occasionally like searching for a four leaf clover, but working for it was what helped. No, it didn’t always work. Yet the fact that I was trying made me feel as if when I was angry, or sad, or overwhelmed, it was okay because I knew I was capable of happiness, and I was working to be happy. You cannot go through life saying your situation is void of silver linings, not if you refuse to look for them.
— maybe i’ll write a book with this in it someday, CI carolineingle