nice jeep

5

Salvatores’ x McCall Pack

Requested By Anon

Part Two


“How are you not freaking out, why is she not freaking out?” Stiles hissed as you calmly set Lydia’s list down and looked at the confused group.

 

“I have a small confession.” You muttered.

 

“Is it that you drank the mountain lion that attacked us last week because we saw that and it was gross.” Stiles said quickly.

“Stiles shut up!” Scott grunted.

 

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Constellation- 4

Originally posted by nottechae

Lee Minhyuk

word count: 2402

🎧 Fall in Love - Barcelona

It finally came time to keep up your end of the bargain. You had promised Minhyuk a date, so here you both were sitting across from each other at some restaurant that you had never heard of. 

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Who’s This Guy, Mom? Pt. 4 (Erik Durm)

a/n: the finale is next week ahh!! catch up with the series here 

“How about this one?”

You stepped out of the closet for what felt like the millionth time for the night. Erik was going to be over to pick you up soon, you didn’t have the time for your best friend to over criticize everything you wore.

“That’s actually pretty amazing.” She quipped, doing a little circle walk around you.

“Are you sure this time?” You rolled your eyes, placing your hands on your hips.

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Always keep the keys.

This happened a good ten years ago or so. My dad has a group friends from highschool who all own jeeps and go jeeping together several times a year. They are all old highschool friends from a suburban type town, plus a couple of family members who’ve since joined the “band wagon.” One of those guys, let’s call him Randy, got some awesome prorevenge.

Now Randy is a nice guy, through and through. He’s the kind of guy you feel you could trust with just about everything, and sometimes he gets stepped on because of this, but he keeps on going because he’s far above bitter resentment. Randy also has a nice red jeep he takes on the trails with my dad and the rest of his friends. It looks like your standard jeep, but he’s put a lot of money into it, fixing it up and modifying it to run the trails they like to go on.

Turns out someone else decided he had a nice jeep, too.

Randy wakes up one morning to find his jeep gone. It doesn’t take long to realize it’s been stolen. They rally a search, call the police; nothing for about a week until they finally find his jeep flipped over and stripped bare in the middle of an orchard.

Several thousands of dollars and days worth of time - POOF - gone to one jerk. But whatever, Randy shrugs, hauls it back, and takes his sweet time trying to restore his toy.

Several months go by. The police have no luck and we’re all convinced the guy got away scot-free. I mean, most of the parts were standard stuff. They probably got separated and sold off on ebay. Heck, he could be selling them a next swap meet and there’d be nothing we could do about it because how could we prove those parts were Randy’s? It’s a done deal, we realize. Nothing to do. We kind of even forget about it all for the most part. Then, one day, my cousin in the next town over gets a knock on his door.

Now my cousin is basically mid age between me and my dad. He has his own jeep, goes on trips with everyone else, and so he thought nothing of it when some random guy knocks on his door telling him, “Hey! I saw you had a jeep. I happen to have some jeep parts for sell. Are you interested?”

“Of course!” my cousin says without thinking. “What do you have?”

“A whole lot, come on over!”

So my cousin goes to this guy’s house and sees an array of jeep parts, including a hardtop shell. He thinks to himself and says, “You know, I have all of this, but I have a buddy who’s looking for a lot of this stuff. Here’s his number.”

The guy, also not thinking, says “Yeah! Let me do that.”

So Randy gets a call from a guy trying to sell jeep parts in the next town over. Why not take a look? he thinks. He calls my dad and they head over in my dad’s truck prepared to buy some parts.

They start talking with guy, looking at the stuff, realizing he has a lot of the same things Randy is looking for. Everyone gets happy, seeing that a transaction is about to occur.

Then Randy and my dad start noticing things. That part there? Look at that weld. That’s not standard. That looks an awful lot like the weld you and I did. Oh, look at that. Didn’t we repair that part just like that, too?

Wait a second …

It dawns on Randy that he is looking at his own shit, and the guy trying to sell him this stuff is the thief. His mind flashes red, his eyes go wide, but he’s not prone to violence and thinks ahead. He wants prorevenge. He realizes instantly he can’t prove any of this stuff is his. How could he prove that weld was done by him? You can’t. He’s only got one saving grace: the hardtop shell still has the original lock.

And back home, Randy has the original key hanging up in his garage.

“You know, I’d really like to buy this stuff,” he says to the thief. “Let me go get my trailer cause the truck we brought isn’t big enough.”

“Absolutely!” says thief. Today’s his lucky day, he’s sure of it!

So Randy goes home, calls the cops, grabs his old key, and heads back to thief’s house. With cops standing by as witnesses, he walks up to the hardshell top and opens it.

Randy gets every single part he lost back and thief goes to jail.

Always keep the keys.

thebronygamer  asked:

Uy! Pilipinas na mailing da Undertale?! YES!!! I love your Filipinotale AU! Here's a pun! Anong tawag sa buto na pwede mong kainin? BUTO-bung bong! XD I have a Filipinotale head cannon! Sans drives a tricycle and Papyrus drives a Jeep!

HHAHA NICE PUN! and your head cannon is PERFECT LOL thank you for liking the au XD

Which One Of My Garbage Clones Are You?

I’ve got some shit clones. My huge beautiful wife gave me terrible infants who think and speak like the toilet. I have three garbage clones: The first clone is named Solid, the second clone is named Liquid, the third clone is named Solidus And George (two names for just one clone). Which one of my toxic clones are you? Take this quiz to find out! 

1. Which of these garbage things have you done?

  • Spray-painted the word “ISIS” on the side of your nice dad’s wonderful jeep so that the United States Air Force had to come and blow up the beautiful jeep, which is a APE T-41LV 
  • Opened up the trunk of your nice dad’s wonderful APE T-41LV and shouted the word “Fuck!” into it so many times that the resale value of the jeep went down by half 
  • Invited your nice dad to Career Day at your school, where you told your classmates that his job was “trying to bring Osama bin Laden back to life” and that he did that job for free because he was “in it for the love of the game,” even though your nice dad’s real job is “stealth infiltration” 

2. What did you get your nice dad for his worst, most recent birthday?


  • A T-shirt with your nice dad’s face on the front and the words “PMC Owners Die Angry” on the back 
  •   Thousands of subscriptions to Hustler, so that on delivery day a huge truck pulled up and dumped so many copies of the same magazine on top of your nice dad that he remained trapped under the pile for three days before rescue workers finally found him
  • Hired an extremely convincing look-alike of your nice dad’s hero, The Boss, to come to your house and give your nice dad the middle finger, thereby causing your dad to wail and weep long into the night 

3. My garbage sons love to steal my credit card and buy bad things. What do you buy when you steal your nice dad’s credit card?

  • A gravestone with your nice dad’s name on it and an actual astronaut in a full spacesuit to throw that gravestone through the windshield of your nice dad’s APE T-41LV ($800 for gravestone, $1,600 for actual astronaut) 
  • You hire the real Boss to come to your house and give your nice dad the middle finger, thus causing him to wail and weep continuously even to this day ($750) 
  • A series of billboards running up and down our nation’s highways sporting a picture of your nice dad’s face with the words “Here Is The Man With The Tiny Hands” written beneath it ($25,000 per month) 

4. My gutter clones have sewer mouths that belch out true terrors. The words they say make me wish the world had exploded before I was born. Which of these toxic things do you say the most?


  • Sentences involving the phrase “luring my garbage dad into the nuclear prison” 
  • Sentences involving the phrase “graves for fathers” 
  • Sentences involving the phrase “ APE T-41LV demolition” 

5. One time, all my garbage sons got together to build an enormous marble statue of me weeping in the front seat of my wonderful jeep. The base of the statue had the inscription “I Don’t Weep. I Jeep.” My gutter boys built the statue right  on the main platform of Mother Base where everyone in the PMC could see it. Now, all the soldiers in the barracks laugh at me and call me “The Cry Person.”

Have you ever done this to me?

  • Yes
  • Yes, I loved doing this to you with all of my dumpster soul 
  • It was the greatest thing I’ve ever done in all of my garbage life 
Just a little spill pt 2


Author: really-meg

Pairing: Reader x Dylan 

Rating: pg-13

Warnings: Alcohol 

Word Count: 864

Requested: “ Part 2. Of just a spill?! Pleaassseee”  and  “ Oh my god, can you do a part two to Just a Spill??????”

A/N: Hope you anons enjoy it, It is a little short though.  Part One

We walk out side by side out into the crowded traffic coming from the Stadium.

“I know this bar in brooklyn it’s not top of the line but I think you’ll like it.”

“Sounds perfect.” He says with a smile that makes your stomach flutter.

“Did you drive here?” You ask.

“Uh no I took a taxi here from my hotel.”

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