“I want you to know I’m scared
Scared because nobody has ever been so
And I don’t know how to handle it
I don’t know how to handle NICE
I can do defensive
I can do cold
You’ve got me baffled
How do you handle NICE?
I am not NICE
I am jagged edges and 3am tears
I am secretive
I am closed
I am protective because I didn’t know NICE before you
And now that I have you
Now that I have
Baby I don’t know what to do”
he gives glasses of fresh milk to bucky whenever he visits on horseback. a stalk of wheat sticking out of his mouth as he hops down and gives steve a pat on the shoulder.
they talk about the farm, his cows, the threat of a war between the north and south. sometimes they stray off into their personal lives. steve’s mother dying and leaving him all she had, the farm. bucky being one of many sons.
bucky helps steve when he can, with yard work and maintenance. the most current project is to repair part of the fence that has fallen out of its supports.
sometimes bucky brings a second horse with him when he visits so that steve can take a ride with him. they ride through unowned land, bucky holding the reigns to steve’s horse.
steve fills up basins with water for bucky so that he can wash up after working. he steps onto the porch, his upper body red from the sun, and tells steve just how crooked the roof is.
bucky never stays till nightfall because he has to bring the horses back by then so once the sun starts to set he’s already walking into the pastor to get his mare. a light brown girl who grazes amongst steve’s cows.
most evenings before bucky leaves they drink from his flask, a sharp liquor that steve has no idea what it is. they don’t drink enough to get drunk but enough to feel a buzz. bucky says it’ll help steve feel better.