nibblonian

okay but listen: why did we never get a family guy-esque star wars parody? just imagine

  • amy as luke, living on the desert planet of mars with leo and inez, who she believes to be her parents. she dreams of getting out of there and being more than just a rich girl.
  • the professor as obi wan, already amy’s mentor. 
  • tinny tim and kif as c3po and r2d2. r2d2′s cursing and sass are now sighs. 
  • leela as han, the sexy loner and nibbler as chewbacca, her only companion. they agree to give amy and the professor a ride to earth in their ship, the planet express.
  • bender is vader, claiming he takes orders from no one but himself, even though he obeys the emperor (mom)’s every wish. his second in command is zapp as tarkin.
  • amy and leela rescue prince fry (leia) from bender.
  • “aren’t you a little hot to be a stormtrooper?”
  • lots of gay subtext between amy and leela.
  • in the sequel, amy travels to learn the ways of force from the once great jedi master, zoidberg (yoda). her first lesson is to be able to block out zoidberg’s stench.
  • bender hires the don bot (boba fett) to track down leela.
  • leela, fry, kif and tinny tim go to see leela’s old friend hermes (lando) in jamaica. hermes hands them over to the empire to protect his people.
  • the “i love you” “i know” scene fits right into canon. 
  • “farnsworth never told you what happened to your father.” “spluh! i already know. he lives on mars!” “no, i am your father.” “but i’m not a robot.” “you got me there.” 
  • in the final installment, the gang rescue leela from lrrr (jabba)’s palace. 
  • “who are you?” “someone who loves you.” “oh lord, that again?” *continue to kiss anyway*
  • lrrr captures fry and forces him into slavery. we all noted the subtext in the spanish fry episode.
  • zoidberg and the professor confirm to amy that bender is her father, but laugh at her for wanting logic in it. they laugh even harder when she asks how she and fry could possibly be related.
  • the rebels are sent to planet eternium, with nibbler’s fellow nibblonians as the ewoks. 
  • everyone acts like amy is blind for having no idea that she and fry are related. fry accepts this reality simply and has literally no questions.
  • hermes and dwight in the planet express ship, ready to blow up the second death star. 
  • amy and bender duel on the emperor’s request. amy wacks off bender’s drinking arm to which he throws a hissy fit and cries.
  • *fry shows leela he has a gun* “i love you.” “YES!” *fry shoots gun and misses the stormtroopers*
  • mom insults calculon. bender kills her. 
  • “you were right. there is no logic in me being your father. tell your brother, you were right.” “but that doesn’t make sense either!”