nhl coaches

Thank you Anaheim Ducks!

Some 16-17 season milestone & highlights

• 4th consecutive 100 pt. season regular season.
• 5th consecutive division championship.
• Patty Eaves reached the 30-goal mark for the 1st time in his NHL career.
• Cogs Iron Man streak.
• Getzy became the 2nd Ducks player to hit 800 NHL points.
• Pears reached 700+ NHL points.
• Coach reached 400+ NHL wins.
• Kes reached 300+ NHL career assists.
• Pears matched the NHL record for most OT goals.
• Monty scored his 1st NHL goal.
• Kerdiles became the 1st OC player to play for. Anaheim.
• We celebrated out 10 year Stanley Cup Anniversary.
• Paul Kariya finally returned to the Honda Center.

bitty being nervous about nhl scouts. part 1

Ransom and Holster were arguing about something when Bitty’s attention returned to the world around him.

“There was a scout there, bro!”

“Yeah, to check out your cheekbones!”

“No, man, to check out us. Get us all NHL contracts! Right, Bitty?!” Ransom bumped him with a shoulder. “You’ll be able to afford King Arthur Flour. For every pie you make.”

Bitty choked on his own spit and got into a coughing fit, doubling up while two enormous bros patted him sympathetically.

“Is Bitty dying?!” Chowder had dashed back from where he’d been giving Tango a big-brotherly pep talk ahead of them. “Bitty, speak to me!”

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During Jack and Bitty’s 2nd summer together...

So Jack is in Georgia for a couple of days, right, and he comes back from a morning run to find both Bittle parents in the kitchen eating breakfast (Bitty slowly dragging is ass out of bed, he can hear the bathroom upstairs). 

Suzanne greets him with a smile, Coach with a nod, Jack sits down to eat. Usually, there’s a fair amount of chatter- even without Bitty- because Jack is comfortable with both parents, but now they’re eating in silence. Throwing furtive glances at Jack. At each other. At Jack again.

Jack’s stars feeling the tingle in his fingers that announces his anxiety. He counts the seconds until Bitty leaves the bathroom- no, that was the sound of the shower. Alright then.

Suzanne places her mug back on the table.

- Jack, sweetheart, we need to talk to you.

Coach takes a sip of coffee and sits back straight.

- …Alright? says Jack.

- We’ve seen the way you look at Junior, says Coach in a matter-of-fact voice.


(more under the cut)

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2016-17 Goals Game 77/82 (vs Pittsburgh Penguins)

Goal 1: Panarin
Goal 2: Panik
Goal 3: Kruger
Goal 4: Hossa
Goal 5: Kero
Bonus Gif: Kanarin celly

**Game Notes**

- This win was Coach Q’s 850th win (He leads active NHL coaches and ranks second in league history)
- With Kane’s assists on Panarin & Kruger’s goals, he hits the 50th assist mark and becomes the 4th Blackhawk (Mikita, Savard, & Roenick) to register 50 assists in four seasons
- With this road win the Hawks tie a single-season franchise road record from 2014-15

  • Coach Q: So, Jonny, how long have you been sleeping with Patrick?
  • Jonny: What?! That's disgusting. And wrong. I don't even get--why would--I've never had sex with anyone, anywhere. It's none of your--you have--the nerve, the audacity. Patrick is my teammate, technically. And he's terrible, face wise. And how--how do I know, frankly, that you're not sleeping with him? Maybe you are. Maybe you're trying to throw me off. Hm? Check and mate.

-Okay so back to the op of Jack and Bits having twins. You know that Bad Bob would spend so much money on them??? Like one of the twjns would be like “Gramps :( I broke my toy :(“ and Bob is just immediately at the store, trying to figure out Which toy would make his grandkids happy.

-One day the kids break a vase and one of them is crying and the other is just trying to clean it up and trying to take the blame for it and Bob is like “no no it’s fine please don’t be upset” and Alicia is like “Bob that vase was a wedding present from my mother” and Bob is like “I’ve been trying to break it for years, Alicia” and Alicia rolls her eyes but laughs anyway because damn if Bob wasn’t right.

-The twins getting made fun of for any reason at all and half of the Providence Falconers (still playing and retired), former Stanley cup winners Jack Zimmermann, Alexei Mashkov, and Kent Parson, cook show host Eric Bittle, NHL coach Bad Bob Zimmermann, former model and current judge on America’s Next Top Model Alicia Zimmermann, renowned biologist Justin Oluransi, sitcom actor Adam Birkholtz, a decidedly not chill award winning poet, an angry redhead, the goalie for the San Jose Sharks, famous artist Larissa Duan-Knight and her lawyer husband, Georgia Martin, and an angry southern woman who is honestly is the most terrifying of them all are all at school, dealing with the problem and Bits is like “Jack, honey, half of the team and your parents didn’t have to come.” and Jack is like “Bud, you brought your mom, I needed people to hold her back in case it got messy.”

-The twins are just done with their family, rolling their eyes but ever grateful, while Patater’s kid is in the midst of a fistfight with the kid that messed with them.

-One twin is a cis boy and the other is more fluid in their gender, Patater’s kid is a transgirl, and when Patater’s daughter gets her first partner the twins are happy for her, but a little apprehensive. She’s constantly shaking her head and going on about “her twins”.

-She mellows out as the years go on but still has a fiery temper that helps her in boxing.

-One of the twins plays the violin, she plays piano, and the other twin plays an electric guitar. They win their 10th grade talent show.

-One twin is valedictorian and the other gets his GED, which took a lot of thinking about. School was never his forte and he feels like he’s going to fail in life until he talks to Jack and Bits, who let him know they’ll love him and support him no matter what.


Honestly please talk to me about the twins and Patater’s daughter because I’m bored af and I want to share my ideas and I want to hear yours.

Someone legit wore this to school today for our “Chicago sports” spirit day theme 😂