brief preface: i live in iowa, one of the united states’ largest producers of corn (as in maize for those overseas), and worked at a corn breeding research facility. these guys are in charge of creating new lines of seed for farmers to grow; i took the job because it was the only plant science-related job i could, and it sucked but it wasn’t the worst job ive ever had and i made bank because it sucked and no one wanted to do it. there were two parts to this job: data collection and pollination. i wrote out a huge thing on the details of these and then decided it was too long and rambly so imma just gonna skip that stuff and get to the Weird Liminal Space Corn Stories:
-for data collection, our job was to take plant an ear hights in fields all around iowa, meaning that we would get to work in the morning and they would load us up into transit vans and drive us out to a random small town with a test field for testing. once we got there, we had 16-foot-tall wooden measuring sticks we would unfold and bring into the field with us, and the instructions from there were simple: 2 people on each side of the breeder. you measure the line of corn behind you by sticking ur stick next to an average looking plant and reading off first how far up on the plant the first ear of corn was, then reading off how far the base of the flag leaf was. then, you turn around to face the line of corn behind you, and while youre turning around and sticking your measuring stick into the ground on that side your partner reads there numbers, you read your second line of numbers, your partner reads their second line, and then you walk into the nearest alley and march up two lines of corn while the people on the other side of the breeder go. you read the two data points on one side. your partner reads and u turn around. you read the data points behind you. your partner does. while you are going, your breeder is walking up the field typing in the numbers on a data logger and the other team is walking up two rows. once you reach the end of the field, your breeder stops you, you walk two plots down and turn the other direction. you read off your data points, ect, you do that all the way down the field. you do this for hours until your set is done. all told, once your team of 5 people gets oriented and going, it should sound like this to you:
stick. 65, 102. turn. stick. 68, 104. pick up stick. walk down two rows. stick. 85, 102. turn. stick. 84, 103. pick up stick. walk down two rows. ect. you have to annunciate yourself and not talk to your teamates so the breeder can hear you through the corn. on windy days, you have to shout. you dont have time to stop and talk; you actually barely have time to do anything but focus on the manual task of number, turn, number, walk, number, turn, number, walk. when we were done, we would come out covered in sweat and dirt with our sticks, pile in the transit van, and drive like, the 2-3 hours back. work days were about 9 hours with 5 in the field, meaning that you worked 40 hours a week and could do overtime on weekends doing pollination (which was actually really fun).
-no headphones. at first i thought that rule was stupid, but like, once you enter a cornfield you realize that this is because 1. if someone is screaming your name you need to be able to hear and 2. corn touches everything; when you’re in the corn, there is always something touching you. we wore special hats with veils, long pants, long shirts, eye protection, and closed toed shoes because the corn leaves are sharp and will cut you up; i have scars from this. your headphones would get ripped out within like, .3 seconds, because like corn just snags and slices up everything.
-one time, on the hottest day of the summer, we were doing the number-turn-number-walk routine and heard someone yelling for our breeder guy. he stopped us short and called back, and like, this is the scary part about cornfields: like i said in the tags of that one post, corn swallows up sound more than anything. it’s impossible to tell where you are and impossible to hear anything, even if you scream, so its best to stay close to your team unless your doing solo work, and if you’re doing solo work like, for the love of god, keep walking in the direction youre supposed to be walking until you’re finished. trust that theres something on the other side, even if you cant see it. but anyway; hes yelling, and shes yelling, and suddenly she bursts through the corn after searching for us and says that this one kid is having a seizure. queue both of them running out of the corn and we’re just standing there. eventually we hear one of the other breeders yelling “___’s group, where are you?!” and we’re like “over here! we’re over here!” and put our sticks up, and the other breeder comes into the alley and we keep doing data points. we had like, 6 kids go home that day because of how hot it was (over 100 degrees) and we ended up not finishing the field because they decided it wasnt safe for us to work anymore. (also, kid was predisposed to seizures and they took him home, he was fine and came back to work a couple days later)
-i kind of talked about this in the tags of that other post, but i think the scariest day was the day we were in a test field a little ways away from the research center. it was kind of stormy but we were like ok whatever, we’ve gotten rained on before with no problem, queue us starting the data collection for the day. its…..really windy. like. i wish i could recreate that feel in art or something or even film it someday, because 1. when the wind blew, the whole field-which, remember, this is our whole world when we’re in there because you can’t see anything but corn in every direction- moved. like, bended, which is typical of corn because like yeah duh it does that, but its like if you were standing in a hallway and suddenly all the walls bent with the wind and so did the cieling. it was that disorienting; i actually stumbled a few times because the only steady thing was the ground and 2. it was loud, like a weird roar in the background. everything is rustling all around you at once. we had to scream our numbers for the breeder to hear us, and when i moved my measuring stick would catch the wind and drag me back a little. then, we heard thunder in the distance. our breeder was like “okay guys we’re gonna finish this field because we’re only like 4 ranges away from the road” and we’re like ok yeah, 40 plots, we can do this. the wind picked up, we kept moving at like twice the pace to get out of there, and when we reached the end it was really close and our breeder was like “come on we have to go now” and we like, picked up our sticks and ran through the corn bending around us with the thunder and everything, can i say midwestern gothic because ive never experienced midwestern gothic more than 4 teenagers with corn sticks and a dude with a data logger running through a discombobulating corn haze at 11am with thunder rolling in. we get to the edge of the field, scramble over the barbed wire fence because we are not running through the rest of the field. in a hot second more teams emerge from the field at various speeds just as it starts storming. we pack up our sticks. our team of four gets in our breeder’s pickup truck and we drive back in the rain. it was a look guys ngl
-throwback to when i just finished doing solo tagging of the ranges in the corn in a field three hours away from the research center. our breeder said to meet him back at the truck when we were done, so when i reach the end of the field having stapled on tags for around 100 ranges (about ten minutes of walking and stapling alone in a single line; these tags will help orient harvesting in the fall), i turn around and start heading straight back, because like again, when you’re in the corn alone its best to know exactly where you are and the way out is always a straight line. i start following my tagging trail back. about five minutes into walking i hear rustling near me. y’all, i was not ready, started jogging and checking behind me and after a little bit i slow down because i feel like i lost whatever it was. rustling continues like its following me. hellno.jpg, not today, i run out of the corn into the alley on the other side, decide i must have imagined it, and start walking towards the truck. as it turns out it was another one of the guys who didn’t know where to go, saw me from his row, and was following me to find his way out of the corn. almost died that day y’all
-occasionally we would visit fields to do brittle snap count, which is lining up, walking a plot, stopping, and yelling out how many broken stalks of corn we counted in the plot we just walked through, then continuing. the whole thing is that farmers understandably hate it when all their corn breaks and dies. we went to this one field that had been hit by a wind storm; it was a really hot day and we were all like dying. this is where my aforementioned scarring comes in. in cornfields, there exists a thingy called corn rash. this is where the corn hits your skin so much that it makes tiny cuts all over you, and then pollen from said corn gets in the cuts along with sweat. it is the worst time i have ever experienced in my life like literally nope would not recommend. eventually we realized that half this field of test crop was broken. like, we stopped counting the amount of plants with broken stems and instead started counting the amount of plants still standing. i was wearing all the protection i needed/that was required (so was everyone else), but it was so hot that literally all of us had corn rash and i was bleeding, big yikes. eventually our super nice breeder for the day realized that we were Struggling™ and was like ok listen we’re going back this isn’t worth it and all the corn is literally dead inexplicably anyway and then took us to get gas station ice cream after bc she felt bad for us lmao, a blessing
-talked to the breeders a lot and asked a ton of questions. learned that sunflower breeding is a thing that happens and that they’re bred to be larger to bear more seed for like, those bags of sunflower seeds you see at gas stations. the more u know
All right y’all, I got way way way more carried away with this than originally intended. Like this is borderline but totally not smut, ngl. There’s a lot of animosity between the reader and our boy Auston, so maybe prepare yourselves. Also, there isn’t really a happy ending, think 500 Days of Summer. But imo, this gets pretty hot, so sit back, relax, and I hope y’all enjoy my first official Auston Matthews imagine!
Anonymous said: Can you do a steamy William Nylander or Auston Matthews one?
“So are we gonna do this or not?” Auston Matthews stomped over and sat on my bed. I guessed that I had been stalling too long. The look in his eyes was menacing, and impatient. And he was very turned on, I could see that much. I guess it was the anticipation.
It was the first time Auston had been over to my apartment since we had agreed to a mutually beneficial friendship. It was puzzling that he was the one who proposed the arrangement; he could get laid anytime he wanted by anyone he desired. He was Auston Matthews, after all. But he had chosen me.
Maybe it was wrong of me to wonder why he was so resistant to any of my hesitant statements regarding the matter, to wonder why he didn’t want any commitment, to wonder if he had a similar relationship with anyone else. Maybe I was being paranoid that he deflected my questions about going out in public together-not as dates, I would always preface, but just to get to know each other-with confusion and harsh words. Maybe I was being irrational.
“Hold on, just… let me get a drink of something,” I said, rushing away from his fiery touch. I wasn’t in the right mindset to deal with him and his games; I needed a shot of something strong to shake me of my nerves.
Yoosung: - so incredibly flustered by MC in a bathing suit - tries not to stare too long - sand castles are now his number 1 priority - he shall become king of the sand people and MC shall be his queen - almost cries when the tide comes up and ruins it - straight up jumps into her arms when he sees a crab - “It’s basically a sea spider!” - his favorite part of the day is sitting with MC on their towel as the sun goes down - completely sunburnt the next day
Zen: - at first he’s thrilled to see MC in a cute bathing suit - realizes other people can see her too - constant glares at any male to look her way - wants to rub lotion on MC’s back - refuses to go in the water for fear of messing up his hair - teases MC for staring at his perfectly chiseled body - they weren’t even facing him - lots and lots of selfies - tries to take an aesthetic picture of the sea - ends up dropping his phone into the water - not the biggest fan of the beach
Jaehee: - so happy to have a day like this to relax - stresses over MC wearing sunscreen - sunbathing with the beautiful Baehee - reads on the blanket - floats around with MC in the water - packed a large nice lunch - walks down the boardwalk - the day isn’t super eventful - just very relaxing and happy
Jumin: - has never been to the beach before - why go to the beach when you can go to a well maintained clean pool - MC has to show him all beach activities - complains about how the water is dirty - doesn’t understand how sand just gets everywhere - when he starts to eat his lunch seagulls won’t leave him alone - threatens the seagull - now there is bird poop in his hair - he wants to go home, immediately - refuses to go back, saying he will take MC to a country club pool instead
Saeyoung: - he is one of those people who dig the giant hole people accidentally fall in - has MC bury him in it and make him look like a mermaid - throws MC into the water which initiates a water fight - refuses to wear sunscreen because he doesn’t want to wait to go in the water - people around you complaining about how loud he is - catches a bunch of crabs - probably plays with other kids on the beach tbh - water tag - very kissy and touchy with MC, lowkey to tell others to back off - wants to stay until sundown - lies in the sand with MC staring at the stars
V: - takes a bunch of pictures - both of the scenery and of him and MC - will help MC make sand castles - the beautiful day and the energy of the beach makes him happy - swimming around with MC - freaks out when a fish brushes by his leg - naps under the umbrella - feed the seagulls breadcrumbs from his sandwich - writes and draws in the sand - probably picks up any litter he comes across - just really pleasant and wholesome day
Saeran: - doesn’t really want to go in the water - walks along the shoreline with MC, picking up shells - saves the prettiest one he could find, wanting to make it into a necklace for MC - ice cream is the biggest reason he wanted to come - ngl, find it really hot when MC licks the melting ice cream of thier hands - gets a bit frisky, if ya know what i mean ; ) - likes how pretty the sky looks from the beach - stays under the umbrella a lot - he burns easy - accidentally scares kids off with his resting bitch face - MC has to cheer him up a bit after that - an overall success
@yunyin is just plain amazing and sweet and lovely and ahhhhhhhhhhhhh this entire fandom owes her one million coffees alone for her amazing feat of drawing something for everyday of adrienette month!!! (link to yunyin’s kofi)
@edendaphne is amazing, i love her. she has a ko-fi (link to eden’s ko-fi)–she takes payment in hot chocolate xD and she also takes commissions!!! (link to her commission page) ngl ive been wanting to commission eden for sooooo long, but its almost like i have to find the right thing!!!! and the pressure is paralyzing!! >w<!!!
@lunian is the greatest, i love her so much and fjalksjf;laksdfjal;skfdj i got noooooo words except BUY HER COFFEE (i know you dont like coffee…BUT THIS IS THE KIND OF KO-FI SHE LOVES!) >o< (link to luni’s ko-fi)
@ceejles if you’re in the miraculous ladybug fandom, and haven’t already bought ceej a coffee than IM CALLING THE POLICE //dials 911 on the microwave// youve seen her art, you love her, give her coffeeeeeee (link to ceej’s ko-fi)
there are a lot of amazing content creators on patreon! and i highly recommend taking a look around to find people to support…here’s some suggestions!
@shishitsunari is amazing, and really deserves more patreons!!! their art was some of the first i saw of the ml fandom, and its stunning!!! without the support they aren’t able to fanart as much as they’d like, so my dream is that one day they are able to!!! (link to shishitsunari’s patreon)
@nokkiart HAS THE GREATEST MOST MAGICAL STYLE!!! and one day i will own a picture book of their art, i dont even care if there are puns involved, I LOVE IT THAT MUCH!!! and damn, three lucky butts–if you donate enough–can get a custom paper cut out piece, and oh boy are they stunning!! (link to nokkiart’s patreon)
@portentous-offerings is amazing at running her patreon, ;o;/ its full of amazing content and goodness do i love all her stuff! she also has a lot of tiers to choose from and makes them all worth it!! (link to dire’s patreon)
@hchano you’ve seen h’s art…but have you read her COMIC!??!?!!? FREAKING WHATj;lfjas;ldfjkas;ldkfja!??!?! its good!!! ITS AMAZING!! SHES AMAZING!! and you should totally check out dream*scarand consider supporting her on patreon!!! (link to hchano’s patreon)
In return for donating to charity you’ll be given the zine when it comes out!! so preorder today!!! remember portentous offerings? well she’s offering access to her Marinette and her Romeo FULL COMIC for donations of $5!!! its quite the deal, tbh, not only do you get to help others in need (like seriously earth CAN YOU JUST CHILL FOR A MINUTE?!?!?!) but you’ll be rewarded with amazing content!!