when our team loses, us football fans don’t say “my team lost today we’ll do better next time,” we say “i hate my joke of a team they can choke” and i think thats beautiful 

Evil Kermit meme (football version)

Neuer: The opponent is controlling the ball at midfield.

Neuer to Neuer: Run over there and snatch it.


Messi: That red coat too glossy.

Messi to Messi: Wear it.


Neymar: The opponent is approaching me.

Neymar to Neymar: Drop to the ground, NOW!


C Ronaldo: *looks at mirror*

C Ronaldo to C Ronaldo: You are the fairest of them all.


Suárez: Shit, the opponent snatched my ball.

Suárez to Suárez: Bite him.


Ramos: The first half has ended and I didn’t get a red card today.

Ramos to Ramos: There’s still second half.


Ibrahimović: I’m fabulous.

Ibrahimović to Ibrahimović: I know right?


Maradona: I can’t reach the ball with my head.

Maradona to Maradona: Use the hand. The hand.


Referee: Wait, is that a foul?

Referee to Referee: *tosses coin*. It’s heads, so nope.


Rooney: Is that alcohol?

Rooney to Rooney: Just drink it.