call no man happy

(that guardian angel thing)


Do you ever find yourself sitting at your desk, staring out the window, and wishing things were different? Wishing the universe would throw something interesting your way, just to break up the tedium?

Stop it.

Stop it right now and get a dog, start doing macrame, learn to play the flute, anything else.

The universe is a tricky son of a bitch and will kick you in the teeth as soon as give you a sign. So be careful with that daydreaming because you could end up saddled with a celestial felon that tries to get you arrested and drinks all your beer.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.


Six months ago, several horrible things happened to Mo Guan Shan.

He dropped his brand new phone in the toilet, spilled coffee on his laptop, and he woke up to find a complete stranger eating pizza rolls on his couch. But we’ll get back to that.

At twenty-nine, Mo Guan Shan had resigned himself to a comfortable, yet mediocre existence. His job at the university library could be tedious, but paid enough for him to afford a small apartment in a not-completely-shitty part of town, food, and a little extra to put in his savings each month. The lower middle class American dream.

He had a few close-ish friends, co workers he got drinks with after work some days, and a boss that mostly left him to his own devices. So, no one actively horrible. Unless you consider the other tech that relentlessly hit, but she’s more obnoxious than villainous. His ex girlfriend was a bitch, but entirely avoidable.

His car was decent, a gold sedan from the early 2000’s that he routinely lost in parking lots. He’d bought it used the year before. It didn’t have air conditioning and smelled vaguely of cats, but it got him places he needed to go and had a working radio so… whatever.

There wasn’t going to be a movie made about his life, detailing his many adventures, but things could be worse and sometimes that’s all you can ask for.

Even still, he found himself wanting more. He’d find himself daydreaming while shelving books. But he knew he wasn’t going to do anything to change his situation, so he’d stick to feeling sorry for himself.


One cool morning in October, things got weird. The alarm went off and he considered throwing it against the wall. He showered, brushed his teeth, managed to cut himself shaving, got dressed, and made his way to the kitchen.

He froze mid step and nearly fell over. There was a man sitting on his couch. His hair was dark and messy like he’d just woken up. He wore a faded black t-shirt under a dark red hoodie, tight black jeans, and tattered black boots caked with dirt like maybe he’d come from a construction site. He was heavily tattooed, and eating his God damn pizza rolls.

“Who the FUCK are you?!” he demanded, searching the immediate area for something he could use as a weapon against the man if need be, but came up empty. He fumbled for his phone.

“How did you get in here? I’m calling the cops.”

The man laughed, “No you’re not.”

Mo Guan Shan looked down at the phone in his hand, watching the man out of the corner of his eye, but it wasn’t there. Looking around, confused, he spotted it. The asshole on the couch was holding it, smirking.

“What the fuck, who are you?” Mo Guan Shan asked again, more perplexed than angry at this point.

“Isn’t it obvious?” The man asked, “I’m your guardian angel.”

Mo Guan Shan raised his eyebrows, “Yeah, and I’m the king of candyland.” The man looked around, clearly unimpressed by the sparsely furnished room and picked up another pizza roll. “Oh, how the mighty have fallen.”

What the fuck.

Against his better judgement, Mo Guan Shan almost felt inclined to believe him, which was distressing.

“Alright, psycho, you need to get the fuck out of here.”

The man shook his head, tossing Mo Guan Shan his phone, “Trust me, I’d love nothing more than to leave. I’ve read your file.”

“What the hell does that mean? What file?” Mo Guan Shan asked.

“Your case file. You’re just some boring fucker with a case of ‘poor pitiful me,’ and i don’t want to deal with that shit at all.”

Mo Guan Shan was at a complete loss. He checked the time on his phone and sighed, shoving it into his pocket. He was going to be late for the second time this month. He could hardly say ‘sorry boss, some lunatic broke into my apartment, stole my phone, and insulted me’ so now he had to come up with some convincing lie. Great.

All he could think to say was, “you don’t look much like an angel.”

The man rolled his eyes, standing up and stretching his arms over his head. “Yeah, I left my halo in my other coat.” He pulled a rolled up piece of, what looked like, parchment from his pocket and held it out to Mo Guan Shan.

Curiosity getting the better of him, he approached, taking the paper from him and unrolling it.. He read it twice, trying to make sense of it. Long story short, it was a contract, chastising him for whining in flowing calligraphy.

It told him that by signing he was agreeing to accept ‘the guidance of a heavenly angel.’ The fine print at the bottom said he acknowledged the angel was part of a ‘special rehabilitation program.’ Fantastic, he’s a charity case for angelic criminals to get community service hours.

“Why would I ever agree to this? Even if it was real, and it’s not, It’s ridiculous”

The man’s smile was vaguely sinister as offered Mo Guan Shan a golden fountain pen he’d pulled from another pocket.

“Because your life is boring, and I am not.”

Mo Guan Shan considered that, studying the man more closely now that he could see him. His eyes were dark gray, like the clouds before it rains. There were three small dots tattooed above his left eyebrow and several small symbols under his eyes. They looked familiar but he couldn’t pinpoint what they were.

There was a small rose with stem and leaves from is hairline to the bottom of his jaw. Little bits of black right under his hairline told Mo Guan Shan that if he shaved his head there’d be some on his scalp. The large intricate design that seemed to wrap all the way around his neck looked familiar also, like something he’d seen in an old book.

If any of this was true, it was probably that last part.

Fuck it, why not.

He snatched the pen and scribbled his signature on the line, handing both items back to the other man.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

“He Tian.”


1 I 2 

okay so since I just posted a fic from the AU where they meet before and everything is okay (click here!) I’m gonna let y’all decide which you wanna see next

1. Happy pure AU where they meet before his mom dies and she helps him and everything’s okay

2. Pure and Precious second grader AU

3. Angsty ghost AU

4. AU where JD and Heather Chandler are stepsiblings who are both thirsty for Veronica The Bisexual

Let me know!!


All the water in Alola makes me have Hoenn flashbacks.

(My own headcanon is that after the events of ORAS Archie and Maxie changed into their RSE outfits.)

This is what happened next

1 (You are here) | 2 | 3 | 4 | SOON™


Behind Her Mask.

A Fire Emblem, Awakening Comic. (1 /2)

Aaaaand it’s done! (Chapter 3 anyways, haha. I still have a couple more chapters to go.) Anyways, I’ve been working pretty studiously to get this finished, and it so happens to overlap with Inktober, so happy inktober everyone! (This counts for 15 day’s worth of entries, right? :P)

Don’t forget to read Part 2, and for those who have been reading it since Ch1, thank you so much for sticking around. :)

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