next time you want a glass of water say please

Spideychelle Headcanon: In Which Drunk MJ Is ALL OVER Peter

  • MJ is a human
  • She gets jealous and sad and angry
  • And despite loving her facade of being an emotionless bitch, she sometimes needs to forget about it all
  • And one thing that hurts her is seeing other girls with Peter
  • This time it’s at one of Flash’s parties and Peter is having a nice conversation with this cute, chunky Latina girl and MJ is distressed by the smile on his face
  • She weighs her options and figures that since Ned is the designated driver tonight, she can do this just once bc tonight she just can’t take it
  • She gets hammered
  • She wants to forget about her unrequited love for Peter for just one night even if she’ll be hung over tomorrow
  • And it works marvelously well
  • Too well
  • As in, she thinks she lost the key to her house and thinks she’s locked out when it’s still IN HER POCKET
  • So Peter tells Ned to just drive them to his place and he’ll let MJ crash w/ him for the night
  • When Ned drops them off, May is thankfully already asleep
  • Peter leads the rather quiet MJ to his room and gets her to sit on his bed.
  • Well if she’s a quiet drunk this won’t be so bad
  • Without thinking he pulls off his shirt to change into a night shirt
  • “You’re looking banging tonight, Parker”
  • Peter whips around, still shirtless, to see MJ hungrily leering at him. He feels small
  • “Come again?” Peter squeaks
  • “I come to you every night,” MJ winks in a ridiculously extra fashion
  • Peter’s turning red “MJ you’re drunk. Let’s get some sleep”
  • MJ eyes his abs and licks her lips and Peter feels a little faint “I need you to fuck me, Peter”
  • She gets up and he doesn’t stop her from rubbing his abs with both hands “fuck me still I see Stars. Preferably one that’s gonna go supernova bc that’s probably lit as shit to see up close”
  • “MJ, MJ, MJ, wait stop,” Peter takes her hands and gently pushes them away despite letting out a shudder, “you’re drunk. I’m not having sex with you”
  • “Pleaaaaaaaase??” MJ whines and Peter loves that sugary tone she takes and ugh then there’s that pout
  • “No,” Peter says, more firmly. “No. Let’s go to bed, and NOT in that way, okay?”
  • MJ pouts, and finally seems to comply. She climbs back into Peter’s bed and Peter tucks her in before setting up on the floor
  • “I want you so bad,” MJ says in the darkness. Peter groans, dreading the inevitable “I was drunk and didn’t mean it in the morning”
  • “Go to sleep, MJ” he groans
  • “I’ve wanted you since the beginning of freshman year,” MJ says, “I’m just never sure how to say it bc I’m always so mean to you bc I don’t know how to say it that I’m so mean and-” she goes on a rambling circle of that line for a minute
  • “And I get off to you and really want you on top of me right now to be honest” Peter wants to scream bc this is so much
  • “You’re so sweet and hot and smart and adorable it makes me want to do things to you but even more it makes me want you to do things to me”
  • Peter just keeps face-palming bc this is everything he ever wanted to hear but still
  • “If I confess a secret, will you go to sleep?” Peter asks exasperatedly
  • “Okay,” MJ cast him a little salute
  • “You probably won’t remember this in the morning.. so that’s why I’ll say I like you too.”
  • “YES!” Peter nearly jumps when her volume spikes, “Peter Parker wants me!!!”
  • “Yes, to please go to sleep?”
  • “Okay,” MJ laughs
  • Peter thanks the stars when he eventually hears MJ snoring
  • The next morning he’s bringing her a glass of water to sip from
  • And she eventually works up the strength to ask what she said to him last night, having a sinking feeling what it was
  • Oh no
  • OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO
  • MJ is a wreck by the time Peter explains to her all that she said
  • But also she’s happy to hear how Peter responded
  • Like
  • No wonder she wants to fuck him he was perfect
  • “Thanks… Peter,” MJ mumbles
  • “I was stupid and drunk and you didn’t even think about taking advantage of me or anything. Pretty badass,” she says, “especially considering how hot I am.”
  • Peter laughs, “of course MJ,” and they’re sitting next to each other on his bed smiling at each other like idiots
  • Eventually that bed is exactly where MJ and Peter’s desires are finally fulfilled - completely consensual, too, and MJ is sure to REALLY reward him for that night she was drunk off her ass