next level fail

I’ve been through a lot of shit in my life but these past 8 months have by far been the hardest. One minute I was getting straight A’s and A*’s in my GCSE’s and struggling but being able to manage and stay afloat and then almost overnight my eating disorder was the worst it’d ever been and self harm had spiralled and I’d quit my job and dropped two A Levels and didn’t care about anyone or anything other than hurting myself but after two overdoses and lil hospital visits later I’m still here and I’m fighting harder than ever and I’m sitting my exams so at this rate even if I get D’s I don’t care because three months ago if you’d told me that I’d still be here to sit my exams I probably would’ve laughed in your face. Sure if I hadn’t been through all this crap this year I probably would get better grades but I have been through it and rather than dwelling on how much more I could’ve done I should be celebrating the things I did do which is choose recovery and to stay alive and I wouldn’t have the option to sit my exams at all if I didn’t do that. I’m doing the best I can with the situation I’m in.

The primary aim of this list is to bring together a group of books with no sex in them for younger teenagers or asexual teenagers who don’t want to read about sex. I’ve marked books which I know have skin colour/racial diversity with a ** if I’ve missed that in one of these books let me know. These books are recommended for an age range of 13-17 and if the title is in italics it’s more for ages 16/17 with older themes but should still be sex free. This is part 1 of a series.


Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz **

Aristotle is an angry teen with a brother in prison. Dante is a know-it-all who has an unusual way of looking at the world. When the two meet at the swimming pool, they seem to have nothing in common. But as the loners start spending time together, they discover that they share a special friendship—the kind that changes lives and lasts a lifetime.

Ash by Malinda Lo

In the wake of her father’s death, Ash is left at the mercy of her cruel stepmother. Consumed with grief, her only joy comes by the light of the dying hearth fire, rereading the fairy tales her mother once told her. In her dreams, someday the fairies will steal her away, as they are said to do. When she meets the dark and dangerous fairy Sidhean, she believes that her wish may be granted. The day that Ash meets Kaisa, the King’s Huntress, her heart begins to change.

Beautiful Music for Ugly Children by Kirstin Cronn-Mills

My birth name is Elizabeth, but I’m a guy. Gabe. My parents think I’ve gone crazy and the rest of the world is happy to agree with them, but I know I’m right. I’ve been a boy my whole life.

Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan

This is the story of Paul, a sophomore at a high school like no other: The cheerleaders ride Harleys, the homecoming queen used to be a guy named Daryl (she now prefers Infinite Darlene and is also the star quarterback), and the gay-straight alliance was formed to help the straight kids learn how to dance. (A little bit biphobic)

Geography Club by Brent Hartinger 

Russel Middlebrook is convinced he’s the only gay kid at Goodkind High School.

Marco Impossible by Hannah Moskowitz **

Thirteen-year-old best friends Stephen and Marco attempt a go-for-broke heist to break into the high school prom and get Marco onstage to confess his love for (and hopefully steal the heart of) Benji, the adorable exchange student and bass player of the prom band. Of course, things don’t always go according to plan, and every heist comes with its fair share of hijinks.

One Man Guy by Michael Barakiva **

Alek Khederian should have guessed something was wrong when his parents took him to a restaurant. Everyone knows that Armenians never eat out. Between bouts of interrogating the waitress and criticizing the menu, Alek’s parents announce that he’ll be attending summer school in order to bring up his grades. Alek is sure this experience will be the perfect hellish end to his hellish freshman year of high school. He never could’ve predicted that he’d meet someone like Ethan.

Parrotfish by Ellen Wittlinger

Angela Katz-McNair has never felt quite right as a girl. Her whole life is leading up to the day she decides to become Grady, a guy.

Sister Mischief by Laura Goode **

Listen up: You’re about to get rocked by the fiercest, baddest all-girl hip-hop crew in the Twin Cities - or at least in the wealthy, white, Bible-thumping suburb of Holyhill, Minnesota. Our heroine, Esme Rockett (aka MC Ferocious) is a Jewish lesbian lyricist.

Proxy by Alex London **

Syd’s life is not his own. As a proxy he must to pay for someone else’s crimes. When his patron Knox crashes a car and kills someone, Syd is branded and sentenced to death. The boys realize the only way to beat the system is to save each other so they flee.

Street Dreams by Tama Wise **

Tyson Rua has more than his fair share of problems growing up in South Auckland. Working a night job to support his mother and helping bring up his two younger brothers is just the half of it. His best friend Rawiri is falling afoul of a broken home, and now Tyson’s fallen in love at first sight. Only thing is, it’s another guy.

Sprout by Dale Peck

Sprout Bradford has a secret. It’s not what you think—he’ll tell you he’s gay. He’ll tell you about his dad’s drinking and his mother’s death. The green fingerprints everywhere tell you when he last dyed his hair. But neither the reader nor Sprout are prepared for what happens when Sprout suddenly finds he’s had a more profound effect on the lives around him than he ever thought possible.

Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel by Sara Farizan **

High-school junior Leila has made it most of the way through Armstead Academy without having a crush on anyone, which is something of a relief. Her Persian heritage already makes her different from her classmates; if word got out that she liked girls, life would be twice as hard. But when a sophisticated, beautiful new girl, Saskia, shows up, Leila starts to take risks she never thought she would, especially when it looks as if the attraction between them is mutual

The Culling by Steven dos Santos **

Recruitment Day is here…if you fail, a loved one will die. For Lucian “Lucky” Spark, Recruitment Day means the Establishment, a totalitarian government, will force him to become one of five Recruits competing to join the ruthless Imposer task force. Each Recruit participates in increasingly difficult and violent military training for a chance to advance to the next level. Those who fail must choose an “Incentive”—a family member—to be brutally killed. If Lucky fails, he’ll have to choose death for his only living relative: Cole, his four-year-old brother.

The Necessary Hunger by Nina Revoyr **

As a star basketball player in her last year of high school, Nancy Takahiro’s life is about to change forever. Faced with the college recruitment process and unsure of where her skill will take her, Nancy is not prepared for meeting Raina Webber, an All-State shooting guard whose passion for basketball is matched only by her talent.

Totally Joe by James Howe

“Everybody says you and Colin were kissing." 
"What? That’s ridiculous!” 

Wide Awake by David Levithan

Everything seems to be going right in Duncan’s life: The candidate he’s been supporting for president has just won the election. Duncan’s boyfriend, Jimmy, is with him to celebrate. Love and kindness appear to have won the day. But all too quickly, things start to go wrong.

Anxiety is like
  • Me: Oh man, I would love to take a dance class! I found a studio close to here, some styles I'd love to pick up.... I can't wait to start dancing again! :D :D :D :D :D :D
  • Brain: So remember that time you were 16 years old and wanted to start taking tap classes because you'd done a bunch of tap choreography for musicals and were like, "Hey, this is a useful skill if I want to be a Broadway Triple Threat, I'm going to take a tap class at Capezio and get Really Good At It!"
  • Me: Yea—
  • Brain: And so you picked an advanced beginner class because you knew the foundations from choreography and figured you were ready for more advanced techniques than a triple time step and a shuffle off to buffalo?
  • Me: I—
  • Brain: Except they were doing things that you didn't know how to do and steps you couldn't follow, so the instructor told you to sit on a step stool by the door and watch everyone do the moves you couldn't do because you were completely out of your league, and you just cried in the corner because you felt so ashamed and all those adults had stared at you for being a tiny, barely pubescent teenager in a class for Real Dancers and you couldn't believe that you had been so foolish as to believe you were anything more than you really were?
  • Me: ........what's your—
  • Brain: Have fun with that "open level" dance class you're looking at.
  • Me: ........................................

anonymous asked:

do you know of any ya dystopias with queer/trans protagonists?

Ahhhhh I love the smell of queer dystopias in the morning…

Anyway, Yes! I know quite a few actually! I’m assuming this ask is about books but I’d like to mention a tv series called The 100 first. It’s set just under 100 years after a nuclear war and the main character is bisexual (which we find out when she gets a female love interest in season 2). Season 3 starts later this year and I’ve really enjoyed watching it. By no means is it perfect but the cast is more diverse than a lot of shows I’ve watched. 

OK, so now on to books! (This list is lacking in the trans character department because I could find barely any books with trans characters in so as a note to the followers of this blog, if you know any trans dystopian novels please let me know or reblog and mention them there, thanks.)

The Butterfly and the Flame by Dana De Young (x)  “ In the year 2404, America is no more. In a land ruled by the oppressive theocracy known as the Dominion of Divinity, being gay is a capital offense, adultery is punished with the lash, women are forbidden to work, and forced marriages are common. Fifteen-year-old Emily La Rouche faces an impossible choice. On her sixteenth birthday, she will be forced to marry Jonathan Marsh, the son of her landlord. If she refuses, her family will lose everything. If she takes his hand, it is certain that her life will end by a hangman’s noose in front of an angry mob. All because Emily has been hiding an enormous secret for years-she was born a boy. As the wedding approaches, Emily’s parents realize the only way that she will be safe is if she is to escape the Dominion.” Since the description uses language like “born a boy” I’m not sure how accurate or respectful the book will be, especially since I haven’t read it, but it’s the only one I could find with a trans main character. Obviously trigger warnings for homophobia and probably transphobia by the sounds of it.

The Culling by Steven dos Santos (x) “Recruitment Day is here…if you fail, a loved one will die. For Lucian “Lucky” Spark, Recruitment Day means the Establishment, a totalitarian government, will force him to become one of five Recruits competing to join the ruthless Imposer task force. Each Recruit participates in increasingly difficult and violent military training for a chance to advance to the next level. Those who fail must choose an “Incentive”—a family member—to be brutally killed. If Lucky fails, he’ll have to choose death for his only living relative: Cole, his four-year-old brother.”

Love in the Time of Global Warming by Francesca Lee Block (bisexual main character, several secondary queer characters including a trans guy love interest for the main character)  (x). “Her life by the sea in ruins, Pen has lost everything in the Earth Shaker that all but destroyed the city of Los Angeles. She sets out into the wasteland to search for her family, her journey guided by a tattered copy of Homer’s Odyssey. Soon she begins to realize her own abilities and strength as she faces false promises of safety, the cloned giants who feast on humans, and a madman who wishes her dead.”

Grasshopper Jungle by Andrew Smith (x) is another novel set in a dystopia setting. “Sixteen-year-old Austin Szerba interweaves the story of his Polish legacy with the story of how he and his best friend , Robby, brought about the end of humanity and the rise of an army of unstoppable, six-foot tall praying mantises in small-town Iowa.” Austin is bisexual/pansexual though he never uses the words.

The First Twenty by Jennifer Lavoie (x) “Humanity was nearly wiped out when a series of global disasters struck, but pockets of survivors have managed to thrive and are starting to rebuild society. Peyton lives with others in what used to be a factory. When her adopted father is murdered by Scavengers, she is determined to bring justice to those who took him away from her. She didn’t count on meeting Nixie.”

Proxy by Alex London (x) “Knox was born into one of the City’s wealthiest families. A Patron, he has everything a boy could possibly want—the latest tech, the coolest clothes, and a Proxy to take all his punishments. When Knox breaks a vase, Syd is beaten. When Knox plays a practical joke, Syd is forced to haul rocks. And when Knox crashes a car, killing one of his friends, Syd is branded and sentenced to death. Syd is a Proxy. His life is not his own.” The character Syd is gay from what I’ve read.

Twixt by Sarah Diemer (x)  “ You wake upon the cold ground. As you struggle to rise, as your breath exhales like a ghost, you know only two things: You can’t remember who you are. And you’re being hunted.”

The End by Nora Olsen (x) I was reading an article (x) which said “my debut novel (The End) was an apocalyptic YA novel with lesbian, bisexual, and genderqueer main characters.” So while I haven’t read it you might wanna check it out (this article also talks about other dystopian queer novels). “When World War Three breaks out, seventeen-year-old Julia is on a school trip to Amsterdam, while fourteen-year-old Marly is trapped in a prison for delinquent girls. They both discover magical amulets, and try their best to save themselves and those around them. But it looks like their best will not be enough, as nuclear war threatens the survival of the human race. On her journey home to New York, Julia is joined by three other queer teens and the mysterious and alluring Ginger; lipstick lesbian Vikki; and five-thousand-year-old Skilly, who has an amulet that grants him eternal life.”

Santa Olivia by Jacqueline Carey (x) “Loup Garron was born and raised in Santa Olivia, an isolated, disenfranchised town next to a US military base inside a DMZ buffer zone between Texas and Mexico. A fugitive “Wolf-Man” who had a love affair with a local woman, Loup’s father was one of a group of men genetically-manipulated and used by the US government as a weapon. After her mother dies, Loup goes to live among the misfit orphans at the parish church, where they seethe from the injustices visited upon the locals by the soldiers. Eventually, the orphans find an outlet for their frustrations: They form a vigilante group to support Loup Garron who, costumed as their patron saint, Santa Olivia, uses her special abilities to avenge the town.” I think the main character is a lesbian and there is at least one other queer character.