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Do you know how long fanfiction really is?

You know when you are just casually scrolling down Archive of Our Own, looking for a longer fic and you see one with 100-250k words and your like “yes finally some good, light reading!” 

Let me just help you understand something (Using HP as a reference as thats my fave books):

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone - 76,944 words
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - 85,141 words
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - 107,253 words
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - 190,637 words
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - 257,045 words
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - 168,923
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Approximately 198,227,

Translate into some good Larry-fanfics:

Escapade146,112 words (5 chapters)
As You Are: 139,331 words (14 chapters
I don’t want to need you: 231,421 words (28 chapters)
Relief next to me: 271,512 words (23/25 chapters) 
Wear it like a crown: 141,303 words (13 chapters) 

SO DON’T FOR A SECOND BELIEVE THAT FANFICTION WRITERS AREN’T REAL AUTHORS BECAUSE THEY ARE LITERALLY WRITING BOOKS AS LONG  (and longer) AS THE BIGGEST HARRY POTTER BOOK ( which btw has over 800 pages!) WHICH IS THE DEFINITION OF AN AUTHOR!

Also if you thought you didn’t like to read but started to read fanfiction because they were “shorter” and now realize that you have been reading more than you thought then haha jokes on you! 

A bunch of high schools in my back yard woke up to swastikas and anti gay rhetoric spray painted all over the school today (by literal children!!!), Mexican students were threatened and when I was at lunch during work the table full of teenaged boys next to me was hard at work singling out one member and repeatedly saying racist and really homophobic shit about him the entire time

I’m so tired and I’m not even directly going to experience half of what so many others are already experiencing as targets

I’m so tired

6

oikawa-san is weak

Dealing with "dead" actors onstage

Me (the director): Okay, and you’re dead. Lay upstage parallel to the audience. Don’t move.
You’re dead.
Seriously, don’t move.

Actor: K
Actor: *lays down*
Actor: *moves hand*
Actor: *scratches nose*
Actor: *rolls over*
Actor: *gets up and runs off stage*

Me: Oh my god.
Do you not understand death.

*Submitted by  legolasismyspiritanimal

Ten ways to get there from here

1. Take the next left, twice around the block, up the stairs and knock gently.
2. Three times around the block and wait until Monday. There stops here on Monday at dawn. Make sure you’re awake or you’ll have to hang around for another week, and the coyotes come on Tuesday at dawn so you might not want to be waiting then.
3. You see the chap with the phone? Follow the chap with the phone. He’s going there. He’ll duck into a supermarket at one point and come out of the staff entrance with a different coat on, so be ready for that.
4. Here is a book about there. That is probably the safest way to get there. Should you get a little too deep into the book and find yourself physically there, page 48 discusses a book there about here, which you might be able to use to get back.
5. Go three thousand years backwards in time and kidnap your own grandmother, who you will find is also a time traveller; persuade her to take up town planning and deposit her in 1840, dressed as a gentleman, from which you may be assured she will be able to get home on her own in time; and make sure that she designs in a left turn just ahead of where you are now. Then come back here and take the next left.
6. Dig three hundred metres straight down. Follow the cave as far as it goes, enlarging any openings as required. You may wish to trail a red string behind you if you have friends and relatives who will come looking for you. When you reach the statue, turn the left ear and do not touch any other part. Descend. After the cave-in, take the next left. It may be helpful to have the nuclear launch codes on hand, just in case.
7. Go to the nearest hardware shop and purchase a hook on top of a tall enough pole. Turn left and carry on until you are in a good enough place. Raise the pole above your head and wait. They will come and get you eventually, if you wait long enough.
8. You are already there. One day, when you are no longer there but have come at last to here where you thought you were, you will come to realise this, and it will haunt you for the rest of your life.
9. Oooh, you don’t want to go there. Try redefining here as there instead. All you will need is a letter ’t’ and some word glue.
10. Actually, you can’t get there from here.

2

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A/N: In the next installment of “Things Leesh Has Started But Never Finished,” we remember that time I started writing an enemies to lovers au where Brooklyn, the OFC, tags along with Harry to his sisters wedding as his fake girlfriend. You’re also in luck because there’s also a part two of this one if anyone’s interested. Enjoy!

My mind is a jumbled mess of Broadway musicals and equal rights movements when I hear the front door open, soon followed by the grumbles of my flatmate entering the kitchen with an arm full of groceries. She furrows her brows the second she spots me sitting at the bench with my laptop open and a perpetual frown burnt into my skin. “Brooklyn, please tell me you’ve picked a topic already,” Liz says, placing the groceries on the bench nearby.

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