Doing theatre is stressful, but theatre stress is a different kind of stress. Theatre stress is stress that I want; it’s stress that I crave. I thrive off of it. Theatre stress is good stress, because theatre is my passion.
I just failed my chemistry test (part of the 5% group of F's in my class), and all I want to do at the moment is feel depressed and cry. How do you handle failure? Like getting a bad test score?
Firstly, cry. Let it
out. Screw motivational quotes, self help books and keeping composure. Curse, scream, yell. Put on your comfiest
outfit and park yourself in bed with a book, movie, music, youtube - anything
that isn’t study.
wrong with taking a time out.
Its not like the
next few hours will change your mark - so do what’s in your power right now,
that being, taking care of yourself.
I’ve written about
how I deal with failure on this studyblr before. See:
The first two posts
include a list of resources, ranging from working professionals sharing their
experiences and strategies for dealing with failure, to music recommendations,
study tips and goat remixes. Something for everyone - call it my failure first aid kit.
To summarise, I
cycle through three broad steps:
1. Immediately after the exam (aka ‘Fuck everything’)
what you can do immediately after the exam. Nothing can get you back those few
hours you spent in the exam room. You’re not obliged to discuss your
performance with your peers, comparing answers won’t change what you’ve
some time off from studying - rest, recuperate, reset.
2. Upon receiving results (aka 'getting down to
my exam: what areas did I do well in? What areas do I need to improve, where
did I lose most of my marks? Was it a procedural error (e.g. the style of
question and time limits) or was a substantive error (e.g. I didn’t understand
the concept they were testing, did we even
learn about titration). I use
this review to structure my study for my next exam.
Formal avenues of Review: was there anything
that affected my exam performance? If so, am I eligible for a remark or resit?
Has the assessment been fair?
Ask: approach teachers, lecturers to ask for feedback. How can I do better? What
was a model answer?
3. Shia LaBeouf it
the strategies and information I have gathered above, its time to bite the
bullet and study for the resit or my next exam.
I have to cover similar content, I’ll find a new way to study the content (e.g.
audio, video, mindmaps)
than go through all the content, I’ll target the areas where I lost the most
marks, whether this be by content or a particular style of question (e.g. short
A few things I like to keep in mind:
Effort can betray you
you can work hard and still fail. You can
put in hours and hours of work and still pull up short. However, this doesn’t
mean you shouldn’t continue to work diligently. The worth of hard work (the
'process’) goes beyond the result you achieve. The result doesn’t invalidate
Success is not a predetermined route
many ways to achieve your goal. This assessment, no matter how much its
weighted, no matter how many people tell you 'it’s the only way’ is not
necessarily the only way to achieve your goal. Life isnt a series of dominos
which collapse once you fail this exam. Success isn’t linear.
Its difficult to untangle
feelings of self confidence from academic performance, particularly if you’ve
dedicated the majority of your life (so far!) to school etc. School is an
artificial pressure cooker of constant assessments, scrutiny (and competition).
Remind yourself of who you are outside of 'being a student’ - you are a friend,
a kick ass baker, master procrastinator with the endurance to pull all nighters
to marathon episodes of friends. Dedicate yourself to pursuing something
outside (and completely independent of) school and your 'future career’. Remind
yourself that you’re human.
During the immediate
aftermath of a bad exam result, its difficult to simply 'get over it’. It feels
like it is the 'be all or end all’ because you’ve invested so much time and
effort into studying, and up til now, the direction of your life has been defined
by reference to your academic journey.
I try to keep things
in perspective, for the sake of my sanity. This exam is only one in a series of
exams I’ll ever take. That exam only reflected my performance at one specific
time, at one specific place. It doesn’t tell the examiner who I am outside 9am-11am
on a Monday morning in exam hall B. It has no bearing on my ability to be a
good friend, reliable employee, awesome pet owner.
Heck, I still cry. There’s
days where I spend the entire day in bed. Sometimes, my recent failures seem
just as bad as that stupid quiz I failed back when I started high school - and
I’m in my final year of university now. Failure at any stage is difficult because
here’s the thing - you don’t have the luxury of hindsight to tell you 'things
will be ok’.
But that’s ok.
Because I’ll get up
the next morning and try again.
things will change. I can’t promise that they’ll get better, but they’ll
You’ll get through
this anon, and I wish you all the best.
Summary: AU. Your life changes the minute you meet Peggy Carter on the subway. What happens when she takes an interest in your personal life?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader (+ a lot of friendship reader and Peggy)
Word Count: 7,000 (just for you Caro!)
language, fluff, angst, mentions of Alzheimer’s, character death, awkwardness
A/N: This is long, and it’s a lot of reader and Peggy becoming friends with Bucky x reader woven in. Just a fair (spoilery) warning, it’s hella sad with a hopeful ending. I wrote this in one sitting, too, stupid JSD! This is my submission for @sanjariti‘s 7k Follower Celebration Challenge. Congrats!!! My prompt was “Is this seat taken?”
this city’s burning [x] another angry music theatre playlist
i’m not that guy (bloody bloody andrew jackson) // totally fucked (spring awakening) // it sucks to be me (avenue q) // everything else (next to normal) // dead girl walking - reprise (heathers) // woe is me (25th annual putnam county spelling bee) // do you hear the people sing? (les miserables) // hasa diga eebowai (book of mormon) // see i’m smiling (the last 5 years) // letterbomb (american idiot) // cell block tango (chicago) // get out and stay out (9 to 5) // rent (rent)
[from the Marvel fan-series “Menagerie”] Moonstrike - Chapter: The Boy Next Door
I was outside my neighbor’s holding a cardboard box of several items. I managed to hold them with the aid of my knee as I knocked the door lightly. After only a few seconds, the door flew open and I was startled. In fact, I almost dropped the box but someone saved it from it’s fall.
“Oh I’m so sorry—” I stuttered, getting himself together.
“No no, it’s fine. Hi!” a boy my age said calmly.
“Ha hi!” I replied, my breath a bit faulty and pitch of voice raised.
I finally got a good look at him. At first sight, the boy had a glossy complex. His dark brown hair was slicked to the side with gel, matching his shiny dark brown eyes. From there, he had pale skin layered in really geeky clothing. He was cute.
Then I snapped back into focus as he asked me a question.
“Do you need help with that?”
I realized we were both holding the box as he tilted it, trying to get my attention.
“O-oh no! Sorry hi! Again! I’m Pax Boulevard. I’m your new neighbour. You must be Parker Peters?” I smiled, blushing. I put a hand out.
“Peter Parker actually,” he corrected me with a smirk, shaking my hand lightly. My lips pursed and my eyes opened in realization.
"Oh goodness I’m sorry" I pulled the box back to me in embarrassment, “Peter. Parker.”
“It’s all good” he chuckled. Then there was a sudden shuffling sound behind him.
“Who is it, Peter?” a woman called out. Peter turned his head back and a lady with a matte complexion appeared brightly. She just finished wiping her hand with a dish towel.
"Aunt May, this is Pax Boulevard" he introduced, “Pax Boulevard. Aunt May. He’s our new neighbour.”
“Our new neighbour! Oh goodness,” she opened the door all the way. She stepped up, giving me a small handshake and backed away. “Please do come in!”
I was surprised. I looked at my box in confusion.
“Here, I’ll take that,” Peter kindly handled my box. He gestured with his head for me to enter as he stepped to the side for me.
I hesitantly entered at first but after suddenly seeing how comfy the Parker household looked like, I was immediately at ease.
Aunt May quickly walked to the kitchen.
“If I had known you were arriving today, I would’ve prepared you something special,” she claimed, clattering a few cups together, “I hope some iced tea can suffice.”
“Please Aunt May,” I assured her, approaching the kitchen. I saw her pouring golden iced tea into these rather darling glass cups. Hospitality at its finest.
“I really didn’t expect anything special so don’t worry; I just wanted to pop in and say hi to my new neighbors–no biggy.” I shrugged. “The iced tea will do, thank you so much.”
I heard Peter walk behind me to the coffee table in the living room. I followed him there as he carefully placed my box down. He caught a glimpse at the items in it and gasped.
“Mind if I…?” he glanced at me, hovering his hands over the box.
“No, go ahead,” I chuckled. Peter’s hands went in and back out with a school sweater. He unfolded it and showed it to the world. He read the words printed on the middle of the sweater.
“Midtown High!” Peter beamed, “I go to this school! Are you transferring here this school year?”
I pursed my lips and shook my head. “No; that would’ve been pretty cool though. I’m only here for a summer program being held there. Then I’m headed back to California.”
“California?” Aunt May entered. She placed a tray of the iced tea on the coffee table right by my box. I nodded shyly.
“That’s neat!” She commented, grabbing a glass before taking a seat on the armchair behind her. I followed along, grabbing a glass as well before I sat on the loveseat behind me. She took a sip before she questioned me again, “What summer program are you doing?”
“O.T.B.” I said before taking a sip. I was going to explain the acronym but Peter gasped, in the middle of refolding my sweater, and explained it instead.
“Outside The Box!” He gave both Aunt May and I such a cheerful look, carefully placing my sweater back in the box “I’m in that program too! What’s your focus?”
I sipped. I was suddenly so excited.
“My focus is on both performance and visual arts. How about you?”
“Science and technology” he answered, finally grabbing his glass and taking a seat right next to me. Our eyes met as we sipped simultaneously and apparently that was funny to us because we started giggling, causing Peter to spit out his tea and me to choke on it.
Aunt May was suddenly sneering. Peter and I turned our heads at her questioningly.
“What?” Peter asked.
“You guys are so cute!” she commented. She looked at the both of us while sipping her tea.
There was no comment from us. I didn’t think we knew what to say after that. Cute? What does she mean? We made eye contact before staring at nothing, sipping our own tea silently. However, Aunt May continued.
“My Itsy Bitsy Peter has another friend!” she cheered, raising her glass excitedly “He doesn’t have a lot of friends–”
“Itsy Bitsy?” I started giggling and gurgling, trying to keep my tea in my mouth.
“Okay, Aunt May…” he cut her off, putting his glass on a coaster. I managed to swallow before setting my glass on a coaster as well. Good thing I was finished with my tea.
I stood up and fixed myself, patting down the wrinkles on the sweater I was wearing. I coughed a little before I announced that it was probably time for me to go.
“Aunt May, thank you for the tea,” I said lightly, rubbing my hands together. I awkwardly scooted myself around the coffee table to my box “I’m afraid I have to head home and start settling in. I still have to meet my roommate.”
“Oh, of course, sweetie!” she stood up, placing her glass on another coaster. She came at me with open arms and I honestly couldn’t help myself but fill them in with my own. It was a rather nice motherly hug. I felt myself become a bit homesick. “You’re welcome to come over anytime, honey.”
We both pulled away, yet still holding on to each other’s arms.
“Tell me when you’re available and I’ll cook us something sweet. I want to make sure we’ll have a dinner together!”
I really couldn’t help but smile a whole lot. Aunt May really does a good job with the “make yourself at home” deal.
“Sounds good, Aunt May,” I nodded. I let go and went for my box but Peter already had it up in his arms, ready to go for the door. It was as if he was queued to leave as soon as he saw my eyes because he started heading for the door.
“Thanks, Pete” I mumbled, my fingers fidgeting with my sweater sleeves. I bit my lip as my eyes landed on the back of his head. I thought I heard a no problem, Paxy but I wasn’t too sure. I blushed anyway and followed right after him.
Aunt May still tried to make small talk as I was on my way out.
“Awe, you guys can take the subway together!” she suggested, “Peter finally has a buddy to go with. I’m always so worried…”
Peter coughed while I opened the door myself. I took a step out when I heard Peter mumble to Aunt May, “Aunt, can I just have a minute with him? Alone? You’re embarrassing me.”
I was outside the door once again. I turned and saw Aunt May make an O face and nodding sort of understandingly before leaving my sight. I shook my head, smiling at how sweet she was.
Peter then turned to me and sighed in way that made his cheeks slightly puff up. He looked very concerned and all I did was smile giddy at him. Man, he really was cute.
“Sorry about that. My aunt can be a bit–”
“Sweet. She’s really sweet” I finished his sentence. I then reassured him, “Don’t worry, itsy bitsy. You’re still a pretty cool guy, nerd.”
I lightly punched his shoulder. I looked up at him and I can tell he was trying not to break out in a huge smile. He looked down into my box before realizing he still had it in his arms. He passed it over to me.
“Hey, I realized you have a camera in there? You like photography?”
“Yeah, one of my favourite visual arts.”
“Sweet! I love photography. I actually just got hired to take photos for the Daily Bugle, one of New York’s tabloid newspapers. I can try to hook you up if you need a summer job or something, I don’t know” he explained, putting his hands in his jean pockets. He was looking down at his feet bashfully.
“That’s… that’s really nice of you, Peter.” Cute and kind. Shoot. “Thank you. I’ll definitely let you know when I’m in need of a job. Or something.”
We laughed before we said our final goodbyes.
“Alright, bud” I began making my leave, “Thank you for the hospitality. You Parkers are quite kind. I hate to rush out on you guys like this but I’ll make sure to stay longer next time.”
“It’s fine, really. Thank you for the company and the compliment. We try to be quite kind so that means a lot.”
I rolled my eyes, smiling at his remark. We giggled a little more. He’s killing me. At this point, we were far enough that we were calling after each other.
“Enjoy meeting your roommate!”
“Thanks! Apparently, she’s French!”
“Oh. Well, I hope you know French!”
“Au revoir, Peter Parker!”
“Au revoir, Pax Boulevard!”
“Good night…” I heard him call lightly.
If you guys are interested about this Marvel fan-series as a whole, please reblog or reply to this post. I have so much to offer about Peter and Pax and many other original characters that create a band of new superheroes in the Marvel universe called the Menagerie. Who was Pax before moving to New York? Who is he after? Find out more by following me <3 I appreciate the support, thank you!