Borrowed Books and Long Showers | Draco Malfoy x Reader
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader
67. “You’re strong, baby. You have to be.”
70. “I can’t stand seeing you like this.”
98. “Don’t shut me out.”
Summary: You and Draco meet again after the war and things become serious. You struggle with your mental health because of PTSD from the war, he helps. Super fluffy ending. This is a roller coaster ride tbh I am so sorry. Angst, fluffy fluff.
Warnings: PTSD, mentions of Cruciatus Curse, swearing
A/N: I’m posting this with less than an hour left of the 20th anniversary of Harry Potter!! As stated before, this is a roller coaster ride so I apologize. I hope you all find it at least somewhat cute. I have written a lot of the reader comforting Draco lately so I decided to switch it up a bit for this one! Feel free to reblog and feedback is greatly appreciated!!
The magical healers were unparalleled in their abilities to heal the wounded body. Magic could regrow bones, seal gaping wounds, and create fully functional prosthetics. But what magic couldn’t do is heal the wounded mind, and you knew that fact all too well. You had been a Gryffindor while you were at Hogwarts, a part of Dumbledore’s Army, and a muggle born at that, so when the war rolled around, the new management did not take too kindly to you. You also had been involved when the DA was ambushed at the Department of Mysteries, as well had been harshly interrogated during your seventh year under the death eater reign on the school because you were believed to know where the Golden Trio was hiding. After the Carrow Siblings were appointed as professors and they began using, and making other students use, the Cruciatus Curse in detentions, where you found yourself often because of your resistance, you fought alongside Neville and Ginny to reestablish the DA and push back against the strong fist in which Voldemort held the school with. Because of all this, you often found yourself waking in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, a scream tearing your throat, and days where the flashbacks were so bad you could barely get out of bed. Potions and charms could fix the deep cuts and dark bruises you earned in the battles, but they couldn’t soothe the wounds of the PTSD you were left with.
It was because of this that everyone was shocked when they heard the news that you and Draco Malfoy had started seeing each other. Though, you couldn’t blame them, you were a bit surprised as well. You had been in a book store in Diagon Alley, two days before your paycheck would be in, and looking at the newest book in your favorite series. As you reached up to grab the book on a shelf you realized you were too short, and while you were looking around for a foot stool, you had seen him seated across the store at a table. When you made eye contact with him you found yourself smiling at him softly, and you were a bit astonished when the corners of his mouth twitched up with a small smile. After reaching the book you had your eye on, you checked the price and the number of galleons in your pocket, realizing you didn’t have enough you pursed your lips and placed the book back where you had found it before exiting the store with the intention to return in a couple days. But when you returned home to your small apartment after work the next day, you found that an owl sitting on your window sill. When you opened the glass it dropped by a small rectangular package wrapped in brown paper, a note attached. Upon opening it you found it was the latest book in your favorite series. Grinning, you opening the note and read it,
‘I wanted to apologize, but didn’t know how. I hoped that this would be a good start. I can’t put into words how much I want to thank you for your smile.
It was simple, but it carried massive weight. You quickly scrambled to get paper and a pen, checking to see if the owl was still there. When it was, you scrawled out a letter in response.
‘Thank you for the book, I really appreciate it. There is no need to thank me for a smile, I believe strongly in second chances and redemption.
After that you attached it to the owl and sent it off then sat down with your new book. You were a couple pages in when you idly wondered if you would be receiving a letter back. You didn’t.
It was later that week, after you got paid, that you decided to go to a new café in Diagon Alley to read more. When you got there and waited for your coffee, booked tucked under your arm, you surveyed the large room. It was quaint and cozy, not many people were talking and there was a fireplace in the corner. And, to your surprise, you saw the same familiar face as you did before in the book shop. You bit your lip, wondering if you should ask to sit with him or to find somewhere else to make yourself cozy. Moments later your name was called to pick up your order, causing Draco to look up from the paper he was reading. Grabbing your drink, you glanced over to where he was sitting and found that he was still looking in your direction. You smiled warmly and waved, and he gave you the same small smile he did the day before, lifting a hand slightly for a subtle and hesitant wave back, before he returned to the paper. With a spark of courage, you were a Gryffindor after all, you made your way over to the table by the fireplace and plopped down in the seat in front of him. Startled, he looked up.
“This is a wonderful little place, isn’t it? I’m so glad it opened up.” You said with a grin, looking around the place again, “What do you think?”
“Yes, I agree,” He responded, surprise was still evident on his face.
“Thank you again for the book. I was wondering if you were going to respond to my letter but you never did.” You couldn’t hide the disappointment in your voice as you took a sip of your coffee.
Draco took a moment to reply, as if he was carefully formulating what he was going to say. “I didn’t want to overstep my bounds.”
“Nonsense,” You said with a smile and a dismissive wave of your hand. “Speaking of overstepping bounds, is it alright that I sit here with you?” You hoped he would say it was. You didn’t know exactly why you were sitting across from someone who a year earlier would have called you a slur and cursed you, but he was making an effort to change. Word had it that he had cut ties with his family and was training to become a healer. Some said it was selfish reasons, that they were holding his image back and if he cut ties it would help him seem more progressive, but most everyone knew the amount of pressure that was put on him by his family to do what he did, so most left it alone. Though leaving it alone is far from acceptance.
“Yes,” He said with that smile that you were growing fond of, “It’s alright.”
You grinned before opening your book and began reading. It was a while before either of you spoke up, this time it was Draco who broke the silence. “What is it about?” He asked, nodding to your book.
That then caused you to go on a long winded and excited explanation of the series, your eyes lighting up as you talked about the depth of the protagonist, your hands gesturing wildly as you went on and on about character development and different plot arcs. Draco listened intently, his eyes rarely leaving your form as you talked. He frowned when an apologetic look found its way onto your face and you apologized, saying that was probably more than what he wanted to know and your friends always tell you that you had a habit of getting a bit overzealous at times.
“No, I enjoyed listening, if you like them that much I may have to read them.” He smiled encouragingly, a genuine smile. Not the small reserved one you had seen previously. There was a faint pull in his chest when he realized that your friends had censored your excitement so much that it made you apologize for something you were talking passionately about.
“I own all of them, you can borrow them if you’d like.” You offered before finishing the last of your coffee.
“I’d like that.” He nodded, though he was unsure if he liked the fact that you’d be loaning him the books or the fact that this meant that there were going to be future interactions with you.
After that you had loaned him all the books. It was a mildly long series too so it meant that you’d keep having to converse frequently to exchange the books as well as you could discuss what he thought of them and different theories about the plot. It was at a few books in when you told him you were too busy to meet at the coffee shop to give him the next book in the series and that he could stop by your flat to exchange the old one for the next. He said he could just send his owl but you insisted he stop by. When he knocked on your door and heard a ‘Come on in,’ he opened the door a bit cautiously, as if the second he stepped over the threshold you would kick him out, but instead he found you at the stove, wand tucked behind your ear, various pots being stirred by enchanted spoons.
“The books are over on the bookcase on the left, you’re welcome to stay for dinner as well, I accidentally made a bit too much for just myself.” You nodded toward one of the bookcases in your living room.
“Accidentally?” He asked, an amused smirk on his lips as he realized the real reason you insisted on him coming in person.
“Accidentally.” You winked before returning to the food.
You two somehow made it a weekly event, one night a week one of you would go to the other’s house for dinner, staying after to talk or just enjoy each other’s presence while you read or caught up on work. Then it moved to two nights a week, then three, then almost every night together. You don’t exactly know how it happened but one moment you were sitting on the couch discussing the series, as he had just finished the latest book, and the next your lips were on his, his fingers tanged in your hair and both of you breathless. You started dating soon after, much to everyone’s surprise. Hermione shrieked and Ginny knocked over a glass of water when you told them at your weekly girls’ brunch. They soon accepted it though, they figured if you trusted him and Harry testified to Draco’s innocence at the trials, they could accept him into their lives by proxy. You began living together after a year, and had now been dating for three years.
You kept your nightmares from him as long as possible. When he woke up alone and knocked on the bathroom door asking if you were alright you explained it was just that you probably ate something bad and were extremely nauseous, you didn’t know he didn’t believe you. It was when you work up screaming one night that you finally told him. You didn’t want him to feel guilty, because it wasn’t his fault. Draco held you close to his chest, drawing soothing circles with his hand across your back and telling you to breathe with him. When he asked why you hadn’t told him before you hesitated before telling him the reason.
“Darling, please tell me when you have these nightmares, I know what you’ve been through, I’m here for you. I can’t stand seeing you like this. Please, let me help.” And so, you did. When you had nightmares that hit too close to home, times when you spent hours in the shower, the heavy water beating down on your back in an attempt to ground you back into reality, and the days when you went nights without sleeping because you couldn’t stand the vivid scenes from your memory flashing behind your eyelids, he’d do whatever he could to help you.
“My love, I’m home!” Draco called as he walked into your now shared flat from returning from St. Mungo’s. He frowned when he got no reply, setting down his bag and quickly walking through the rooms until he heard the shower running in the bathroom. He cursed to himself, you were just about to get in the shower when he was leaving that morning to go to work. Carefully opening up the as to not startle you he said your name quietly. Upon entering and pulling back the shower curtain he found you sitting on the floor, half clothed, only in your underwear, the spray raining down on your neck and back.
Quickly Draco stripped down as well until he was just in his boxers and got in alongside you, as he has done before when he would find you like this, caught in the painful world of the past. He sat down behind you so that you fit between his legs and wrapped his arms around your waist, and put his chin on your shoulder. Immediately you stiffened, your eyes glassy, still not responding to the soft words he spoke. You were far away. A place where your friends were forced to use unforgivable curses on you, and you on them. Where searing pain of a thousand knives’ blades permeated your senses.
“Don’t shut me out. Listen to my voice, follow the sound of it, come back to me.” He whispered, holding you tight, as you slowly relaxed into his chest, “You’re strong, baby. You have to be. Please listen, come back to me, I’m here.”
When you finally came back from the memories that still held you like an iron fist, you thanked Draco softly, only for him to reply that you didn’t need to thank him. He helped you up out of the shower, drying you off and getting your new clothes from your closet, before picking you up and carrying you into bed. After he got into bed with you, you quickly snuggled into his side.
“Y/N, my love,” He said after a moment and you knew what was coming, “Please, come with me to work tomorrow so you can see someone. I think it would be really beneficial for you to talk to someone. St. Mungo’s doesn’t just have departments for bodily health. Please?” His voice was tender has he stroked your face with is thumb, planting a soft kiss to your forehead.
You nodded, sighing. You both stayed quiet for a moment, savoring each other’s touch.
“Would you like me to read to you?” Draco asked after a moment, smiling down at you.
“I’d love that.”
He got up, leaving the bedroom briefly and returning with the first book of your favorite series. You laid your head on his lap as he started at page one. Looking up at him, watching the way his mouth moved as he spoke and his beautiful eyes shifted along the words, you knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him.
You two had long since said ‘I love you’ to each other. Draco was the one who said it first. It was after your sixth month anniversary and you had just gotten back from your special celebratory date. You were kissing each other, hard and breathless, when he had suddenly pulled back, looking at you as if in awe, only to whisper those fateful three words. You said it back immediately, of course, you knew almost a week in that you loved him. But it was now, looking up at him, your rock, that you knew that you wanted to grow old with him.
“Draco, will you marry me?” The words left your mouth before you knew what you were saying.
He stopped reading mid-sentence, and your face went red as you realized the weight of what you just asked him. “I don’t have a ring though,” You laughed, trying to ease atmosphere.
He laughed quietly as well, his grey eyes shining “I do.”
“What?” You asked, sitting up.
“I have a ring. I was going to ask you next week but of course you jumped the gun and asked me first.” Draco got up, walking over to his sock drawer and pulling out a small velvet box. “I should have known my Gryffindor girlfriend would have the guts to ask me first.”
You gasped, jumping up and quickly running over to him. He got down on one knee in front of you, taking your hand in his.
“Y/F/N Y/L/M, will you m—” Was as far as he got before you sprang forward and wrapped your arms around his neck.
“Yes!” You yelled as his hands went around your waist, pulling back after a moment to shakily put the ring on your left hand. Pulling you in for a kiss, you both knew that this was the start of a perfect forever.