newborn hospital


Milestones in Prince Carl Philip & Princess Sofia’s life since their engagement (2014 - present) 

The couple have just announced they are expecting their second child, due in September 2017. Congratulations to Carl Philip, Sofia and little Alexander on the newest addition to their family!

anonymous asked:

Hiya, Aunty! Has anyone ever asked yet what the differences between each ICU type is because I still get confused by them

Hey nonny! No, this is the first time this question is coming up, which means that I get to go off about one of my favorite topics!

An ICU (Intensive Care Unit) is a special unit in a hospital for a patient who is “critically ill”. There are a lot of reasons people can be admitted to an ICU. (In the UK I believe these units are called ITUs, Intensive Therapy Units.)

ICUs are areas where extremely sick patients get closely observed. Where an ER or medical-floor nurse might have 6 or more patients to attend, an ICU nurse has just one or maybe 2. They’ll get more frequent visits from doctors, have their intakes and outputs (”Is and Os”) monitored, medications adjusted, very frequently. If they’re on a ventilator or respiratory support, they’ll be in the ICU. Serious chemical and salt imbalances or extremes of blood sugar, blood pressure, and organ function are seen in the ICUs.

There are loads of different types. Some small hospitals may have only one “catchall” ICU, for the “really-sick” patients. Some may have dozens; I work for a hospital system with a great many ICUs. Generally, patients are sorted based on what service they primarily need.

The Medical ICU (MICU) is where generically medically-sick patients go. Issues like sepsis are handled here, as might asthma patients, patients with acute abdomen, etc.

Though this gets tricky: some hospitals also have a Respiratory Care Unit (RCU).

Many post-operative surgical patients are discharged to a Surgical ICU (SICU)  from the OR. SICU can also hold patients pre-op for observation and testing.

One type of SICU is a Cardiothoracic ICU (CTICU). This is for patients who have had their chests opened during surgery for whatever reason, as the possibility of re-bleeds requiring immediate surgery is high and the consequences can be rapidly fatal.

Critically ill heart patients – including those who’ve recovered from cardiac arrest or suffered heart attacks with significant damage – are admitted to a Cardiac Care Unit (CCU).

Neuro ICU (NICU) and Neonatal ICU (NICU) (which is separate from a Pediatric ICU (PICU)) share the same abbreviation but drastically different populations; Neuro ICUs treat patients suffering from strokes or hemorrhages in the brain, while Neonatal ICUs treat critically ill newborns. Some hospitals will call their Neuro ICU a Neuroscience ICU (NSICU) for clarity, but this is different when a hospital has a neuro ICU and a Neurosurgical ICU (NSICU).

There are also Burn ICUs, Trauma ICUs, Post-Anesthesia Care Units (PACUs) and more. (PACUs may or may not count as ICUs, actually). Then there are “step-down” units, where people are “de-medicalized”, weaned from their biggest interventions before being sent to a more routine kind of a floor.

Ultimately what each hospital chooses to call each ICU is up to them. One hospital I know calls their Trauma ICU their “Emergency Ward”. Our “mothership” hospital calls their neuro ICU their Neuroscience ICU.

Oh, and children’s hospitals may have…. honestly, at least a few of these ICUs, dedicated just for kids.

I hope that helps clear things up a little bit. Let me know if you still have questions, I’ll try to help answer them as best I can!

xoxo, Aunt Scripty


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First Baby Visit Etiquette

A guide for family and friends

1. Wash your hands before approaching the newborn. You are a sniffling heap of death germs.

2. Don’t touch the baby unless specifically invited to do so. Especially not the face. Yes, this includes kissing and holding.

3. Please don’t wear heavy perfumes…
New parents love that amazing newborn scent. If the baby smells like a stripper after you left, you’re doing it wrong.

4. If the baby needs feeding, give mommy space to do her boob magic discreetly. No, the fuzzy, hungry baby won’t wait until the end of your super-important story.

5. Bring stuff and better ask beforehand what is needed.
And don’t pull that quid pro quo shit like ‘If I bring food, I can hold the baby’. Nobody is entitled to hold the baby beside the parents, period. Again, unless you’re invited to, then knock yourself out.
(Don’t bring flowers. This stuff is smelly as hell and/or needs caring… ain’t nobody got time for that. They are well meant and beautiful, but an apothecary run, diapers or nipple cream are more important.)

6. Make it short, make it quiet and tune into the mood.
Chances are the new family isn’t down for a big social event, they are probably tired, overwhelmed and glad that the baby is sleeping. So maybe leave dogs or small kids at home, but if in doubt, just ask.

7. Be respectful.
Don’t ask the new mommy about her weight or her vagina. If she’s open to discussing her genitals, she will bring it up. Compliments are always a good idea - tell mommy she looks great, she will appreciate it big time.

8. Suck it up and keep your well meant advices. I mean it.
New parents have probably heard them all (some of them even contrary) and if they don’t specifically ask, they don’t want to know, at least not for now - again, overwhelmed, tired and not very susceptive.

9. If you take pictures, loose the flash. Be respectful… Mommy and bubs are no zoo animals and if baby is fuzzing, they won’t pose for yet ANOTHER picture.

Every woman is different in that matter, so maybe some women are more relaxed about these issues. In my experience, first time mommies tend to be more sensitive than those who already have kids…
Placement call

Newborn. Left at hospital. No name. Legal risk. We said yes.

I don’t think we’ll get him since there’s wait lists for babies but we’ll see.

I shouldn’t even post about it because I’m sure it won’t happen. But the anxiety while waiting to hear back is killing me.

Some images of hospital births and home births.

These aren’t trolled from deep down in a google search, but are rather images that show up in the first few rows of the first page during a really broad search. I tried to find parallel images at different stages of the birth process to highlight the differences without digging too deeply through the search.

I want to discuss few certain differences between hospital and home births for those who are on the fence about the care and procedures in one setting versus the other.

I WANT TO MAKE CLEAR THAT THIS ISN’T AN ANTI-HOSPITAL POSITION. I aim to be clear and direct about the differences and though there is inherent bias in my position, I am not aiming to scare you. I am just hoping to talk about certain areas that clients and friends ask me about all the time and to help prepare expectant parents for the realities of each scenario so they don’t feel blind sided by what happens at certain points along the way.

1) YOUR CARE PROVIDER IN A HOSPITAL WILL MOST LIKELY BE DRESSED LIKE THEY’RE CLEANING UP AT THREE MILE ISLAND. Birth is pretty messy, but it’s not an outtake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The plastic eye mask they wear for the 15 minutes they’re present at the base of the bed is slightly offensive to me. I attended a birth once where the doctor was annoyed she had to lower her mask in order for the mother to hear what she was saying. I hope you don’t hate the color blue if you’re delivering in a hospital because just before your baby is born, the whole room and half your person will be draped in sterile sheets and your OB (and maybe CNM) will be covered head to toe in blue coverings.

Some women will not mind this or even notice this at all. For me, it seems to be another area where we are stripping humanity and the sexuality of birth away to reveal an operative mode of birth. When a care provider is dismantling a bed and shining a bright medical light on your vagina, exposed only enough to catch and cut while stirrups, legs, the rest of the bed, and floor are covered entirely in “protective” sheets, it removes the doctor from the patient as well as mother from baby and ancient bodily wisdom from the process of birth. It becomes a theater with vagina as star instead of mother as a powerful actor in her own birth.

In most home births, midwives will wear gloves and that is all the protective barrier they will put up. They are wearing their normal clothes, their faces will be near yours, you will be naked or wearing your own clothing, and there are mostly towels and a few absorbent chuck pads down to catch blood, but not a full hazmat conversion of your home. You are also encouraged to “catch” your own baby, thus brining power back to you as the sole participant and care provider for yourself and your baby. You are then often the first person to touch your baby with your own naked hands as it enters the world.

What can you do about that if you are delivering in a hospital? You can try asking your care provider to not cover herself in delivery. You can ask if you can push in other positions so you are not made to throw your vagina in the air with your legs in stirrups. You can deliver with a Certified Nurse Midwife who does not follow standard medical protocol with drapery and such, if one exists in your hospital. You can ask to catch your own baby with hospital staff present for unforeseen circumstances.

2) NO MATTER HOW NATURAL BIRTH FRIENDLY YOUR HOSPITAL MAY BE, WHEN IT COMES TO PUSHING, YOU’RE GOING TO BE GIVEN FEW OPTIONS FOR POSITIONS. The second photo on the left is the most common positioning for crowning and delivery in a hospital birth. If you have an epidural, this will be your only option, since you will not have the capability of safely holding yourself in another position. If you have an unmedicated birth, requesting the ability to push in the position that is most comfortable to you will be an uphill battle. In my experience supporting women in natural birth in the hospital, regardless of their care provider, it’s almost always a loosing battle. “I just can’t assist you like that.” “I don’t do that.” “You have to deliver on your back, that’s how we do it.” “I’ve never delivered a baby like that, I’d rather you be on your back.” “I won’t deliver your baby unless you’re on your back.” “We can try collapsing the bed, but it works best if you put your legs up and hold your breath.” and so on.

I’ve heard all of those and more. I’ve had clients who’s doctors have “allowed” them to push for the first hour or so in another position, but once baby crowned, made them deliver on their backs or on their sides with one leg up. If mom was laboring really well in one place or one position, the nurses had her move to the bed in preparation for the doctor’s or nurse midwife’s late arrival to the scene and she was made to do the final bit of pushing on the bed in stirrups.

At home, you are pretty free to deliver where you feel best. There are a few exceptions—a bathtub that is very small, on the toilet (you’d be grateful for that later anyhow), in a room that is too cold, or outside if it is too cold. Most positions are fair game in homebirth, unless there is some indication that baby is not doing well in that position (likely the cord being compressed by pelvic bones).

What can you do about this if you’re delivering in the hospital? Make sure you talk to your care provider about what positions they feel comfortable “allowing” you to deliver in. If you are hoping for options, make this very very clear to them. Remember “we don’t allow that’ is not a valid statement. If your provider is insistent on lithotomy delivery even in unmedicated births, tell them you’d like to be their first catch in another position. There is no real medical necessity for delivering on your back with your legs up in the air and holding your breath, in fact the evidence suggests that it is a rather inappropriate position for delivery. If you are wanting a natural birth in the hospital, this is one of the many areas that might take some struggle to get everyone on board with your wishes. It is up to you to decide if that battle is worth the benefits of hospital delivery with no interventions.

3) NEWBORN PROCEDURES IN THE HOSPITAL ARE OFTEN PERFORMED WITH BABY SEPARATED FROM MOTHER. Despite the sweeping change in having mothers and babies skin to skin for the first moments of baby’s life, your baby will be separated from you sooner and for longer in a hospital setting than at home. Babies are usually transported to a warming tray, or sometimes out of the room and into the nursery soon after the delivery of the placenta and cutting of the cord. They are then examined for APGAR scores, sometimes bathed right away, wiped off, and swaddled, given a hat (now something of a controversy), poked for blood tests, and sometimes given the Hep B vaccine within the first few minutes of life.

If you want to see studies breaking down the results of separating mama from baby and for various standard newborn procedures, there is a wealth of that information out there. Everything from bonding to breastfeeding to bacteria colonization. It also can be traumatic for mama, no matter how tired she is from a long labor, to have her baby taken away soon after birth. We are designed to hold and protect our babies right away and having someone else sweep them off to care for them before the partner even gets the chance to hold them, or before mama has been able to feed, stroke, and speak to their babies can be detrimental to postpartum adjustments.

At home, newborn procedures are done usually longer after delivery than in the hosptial. Typically, the are done with baby still in mama’s arms or right on the bed next to mama and partner, as the bottom right picture depicts. There is no reason why this needs to be different in the hosptial, but it is not routine for care to be performed with mama s the primary witness or participant.

What can you do about this if you are delivering in the hospital? Once again, you need to discuss your options and wishes with your care provider well in advance. If she is not answering your questions directly or is giving you the standard “we don’t allow that,” insist on getting what you want. Again, there is no medical evidence to suggest that there is a benefit to having baby removed from you for checkups, in fact, as I stated before, the evidence suggests that it would be better for baby to be there in mama’s arms for all of this. A stubborn nurse does not trump your desires for a safe and satisfying experience with the baby you just pushed out.

With each major difference, it’s going to take a momentous cultural shift to get our hospital system in line with the safe and more comfortable standards in home birth while providing couples with the feeling of safety they long for in the hospital. You might have to demand to be treated better. Make sure to chose your care provider very carefully so you don’t have to fight for the things you feel committed to in your birth plan. You are entitled to deliver in the space you feel most comfortable in and don’t necessarily have to submit to the procedures therein that don’t fit with your vision of birth.

One of the most popular quotes from season 2 is Rutabaga Rabitowitz’s movie star speech, where he tells Princess Carolyn that she is the protagonist in her own story, and that the challenges she is facing only serve as perspective for when she eventually gets everything that she wants. Most of its circulation has been positive and uncritical, but upon close inspection, it’s not only terrible advice, but a valid description of how many of the characters in the series are seeing themselves and operating.

The first time we see Rutabaga, he’s taking notes on his phone call with Princess Carolyn, where she tells him about how she has nearly secured a role for one of her clients. The next time they speak, he reveals that he had gotten his own client a screen test for the same movie, and effectively took the project from her. He doesn’t come off as overtly scheming or manipulative, but from day one, it’s established that he is an opportunist who doesn’t really think about what he’s doing, if it means he’s accomplishing his goals and pushing his own narrative further. It’s difficult to say whether or not he is intentionally malicious, but viewing himself as the only person in his life whose happiness matters corrupts his ability to be self aware. He doesn’t see himself as leading Princess Carolyn on, because he does like her. He wants to be able to keep Katie as his wife and have PC as his mistress, since the only thing that he’s taking into consideration is his own fulfillment and not how hurtful this is to either of them. Why would he? After all, he thinks the movie is about him.

When we see him again in “Old Acquaintance” in season 3, Rutabaga and Katie have repaired their marriage, are expecting children, and he’s running his own agency alongside Vanessa Gekko. We see that nothing has changed about his perspective when he’s competing with PC to secure Flight of the Pegasus. Both he and Vanessa resort to unethical tactics to sabotage PC––using Kelsey as a pawn, and digging through her old emails to find ammunition against her––and get the commission for themselves, while she simply had connections to the casting director. Him taking yet another project from PC not only seals VIM’s doom, but ruins Kelsey and BoJack’s chance at reconciliation. Holding his newborn children in the hospital, Rutabaga proclaims “you’ve got to love a happy ending,” despite leaving so much destruction in his wake.

Though Rutabaga is an extreme example, and most likely exists within this narrative as a testament to how cruel, intentionally or otherwise, this sort of self-centered thinking can be, we see the leads behave in similar ways at times. It’s the most apparent with BoJack, when he’s doing things like sabotaging Todd’s rock opera so he won’t move out, trying to get Charlotte to leave her family for him so he can live out an escapist fantasy, or endangering Sarah Lynn because he needs a distraction, but it isn’t just him. Diane pretends to be halfway across the world for months because she wants to maintain the image that she’s doing important work, even though her absence is hurtful to Mr. Peanutbutter. Even PB, to a much lesser extent than the former, shows similar characteristics when he doesn’t stop to consider that he and Diane could be thrown into serious financial trouble because he doesn’t want to pursue other acting jobs, even though he’s spent all their money.

The movie star speech and its eventual deconstruction goes to show that toxic ways of thinking and behaving aren’t always overt, and can even seem empowering on a superficial level. Perhaps Rutabaga is the hero of his own story, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be a villain in someone else’s. The same goes for everybody else, in BoJack Horseman and beyond.

amariemelody  asked:

Headcanon for when Bucky 1st holds his newborn daughter in the hospital? -swoons- :D

Oh he’s a mess an absolute crying mess, because she’s so tiny, and he loves her so much and for the first time he begins to think maybe he’s not so bad. Because if he had a hand in making something so good, then he couldn’t possibly be bad. He holds her and he feels like all of his fucking up might finally be over, and he might be able to be everything she needs.

Person A of your otp can see a visual count/ automatically know how many lies a person has told throughout their life time. Person B is the first grown adult A has seen that has not told a single lie. However, B’s counter finally goes up when they tell A, “I’m fine, really.”

Bonus: Person A works in a hospital, because newborn babies haven’t told any lies yet, and it helps them think that they’re normal for a moment.

Soul(Mate) Searching

From this request: Heyy can I request Lucifer x reader soulmate?



You glanced down at the mark on the inside of your wrist.

‘Come on, dammit,’ you thought wistfully. ‘Glow.’

You were tired of waiting for your soulmate. All of your friends had met theirs. Hell, Amanda had met her soulmate when she was a newborn in the hospital (the baby boy three spots down from her in the nursery).

But here you sat, your mark as dull as a muddy fender. You looked at the calligraphic ‘L’ that curled on your skin. You thought of every Liam, Luke, Logan, Levi, Louis, Landon, Larry, and Leonard you’d come across. (You’d even tried a Laura and a Lexie.) None of them made your mark glow.

You did everything you could to try and run into your soulmate. You spent hours in coffeehouses, watching each person who entered. You sat on park benches, even under the threat of rain. You rode public transport even though you had a perfectly working car.

But you had naught to show for it.

You rubbed your eyes and stood. You might as well head home, say goodbye to another fruitless day.


You stepped out of the cab in front of your apartment building. You dug around in your bag for your keys.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you said as your shoulder ran into a solid figure.

“No problem. That was my fault.”

You looked up and the man who you’d run into.

He was so handsome, you dropped your keys in surprise.

“Oh,” you said, flustered.

“Let me get those,” the man said, bending down. You watched him pick up your keys. He smiled at the palm tree keychain. “Here you go.”

You smiled and reached out. As you did so, your sleeve hitched up. Out of habit, you glanced at your mark.

It was glowing.

The keys slipped through your fingers again. The man’s brow crinkled as he laughed slightly. “Wow, you are clumsy.”

You watched as he bent down once again and grabbed your keys. As he stood, you blurted out, “What’s your name?”

“Uh, I’d rather not say…”

“Please. What’s your name?”

The man sighed. “Lucifer.”


You laughed out loud before clapping a hand to your mouth.

The man looked at you with a strange expression. “Um…”

“I’m sorry,” you said, feeling flustered. “It’s just, I…” You looked at him. “Can I see your mark?”


“Sorry. That was really forward. Um…” You pushed your sleeve up and exposed your wrist to Lucifer. The glow intensified as you pushed your wrist towards the man.

Lucifer looked at the mark, a slightly confused look on his face. “What’s this?”

“It’s… it’s my mark. And it’s glowing. And you know what that means.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t.”

You felt the smile fall from your face. “It… it means you’re my soul mate.” You bit your lip. “I’ve been searching for you for my entire life.”

“I don’t under–”

You felt your heart breaking. “Never mind,” you said, turning on your heel. You’d heard of false glowings, but you never imagined…


You stopped but didn’t turn around. You weren’t sure you could face him again.

The man stepped in front of you. “You forgot your keys.”

“Oh. Right.” Just one more stupid move you pulled in front of this guy.


You were startled enough to look up. How could this man know your name?

“Look, I’m sorry for how I reacted. I didn’t mean to upset you. What I was going to say was that I don’t understand why you say you’ve been searching for me your entire life. I’ve been here all along.”


Lucifer gave you a small smile. “I’m an angel. And I’ve been watching over you your entire life.” He reached out and placed a hand on yours. “I’ve been right by your side all along.”

EXO picking you and your newborn up from the hospital (analysis)

Hi~ Thanks for your ask love! Aweee EXO as dads feels are the best. (:

Kris: This guy would be so sweet and dutiful towards you the moment he walks through that hospital room door, looking like a model while doing so. He would be all over you, totally treating you like a princess as if you have been separated for years and are finally reconnecting after what seemed like an eternity, even though it’s only been one night. If there was anything you needed or desired right then and there. Kris would be sure to tend to those last minute needs immediately. You would be presented with long, lavish kisses, much to your satisfaction since it has been a long night. And of course, Kris would be so enchanting and spellbound to your newborn baby girl. He has been since he first laid his sights on her. You would watch through weary eyes as he sways through the room slowly with his daughter in his sturdy arms, totally connected to her upon glance. In fact, he would be in such a trance that you might have to call to him to get him to re-focus. “Baobei look….she’s waking up,” he would murmur softly, as his little girl’s eyes flutter open, stirring out of a tranquil slumber. He would feel a new sense of duty and protection around you and your daughter as you’re departing from the hospital. 

Kai: The first thing Jongin does the moment he speeds into your room, eager to see you is make sure you’re okay; making sure that overnight stay didn’t take a toll on you in any way. As you reassure him that you’re doing fine, a large beam would materialize upon his features as his eyes glimmer with felicity, preparing to depart with you. He would be so excited to get home with your newborn daughter, that he wouldn’t be able to conceal his effervescence. As you’re nursing your baby girl, he would watch intently as he raves on and on with ebullience on life with your baby now in the picture: “Jagi, I can’t wait to get home with our little princess! I can’t wait for her to meet the dogs! She’ll love them so much when she’s older. And they’ll love her too! They’ll keep her happy and safe…it’ll be great!” This boy and his dogs, honestly haha. You wouldn’t be able to hide your smiles at his palpable excitement. As you’re preparing to depart from the ward, you would catch him lightly swaying to the side with his baby girl cradled securely in his arms. Kai would go on and on to his princess on the dogs and how excited Daddy is for her to meet them. It would be all too precious.  

Suho: Similar to Kai, Suho would be very much excited to bring you and your newborn son back home. He would be very attentive to you, seeing as how you’ve just given birth the previous night/day. He probably would have bought you some flowers or a bundle of bright, eye catching balloons. Or probably some food or a fresh drink just for your troubles. “I hope you like them jagi! I got it just for you,” he would say with a large smile as his gaze lands upon his son. He would be quiet and observant as you’re nursing your little boy or cooing to him softly. Joonmyun would take that time to watch, completely in love with you and how easily you’ve slipped into the role of a mother. He wouldn’t want to infringe on something so precious as a mother bonding with her baby. When it’s his turn to cradle the baby, his excitement may just come out all together at this. “Jagi, I can’t wait for our little prince to see the nursery we worked on for him. I think he’ll love it! I mean, we spent so much time designing it,” he would remark half to himself and half to you as you prepare to depart from the hospital. He would be very much prepared. (since he has a collection of parenting books and other parenting guides to go off of) Your son’s carseat will have already been prepared as well as any arrangements for you by the time you’ve been discharged. 

Chen: The moment Jongdae strides into your hospital room, confident and all, he would smirk to himself, clearly amused. As you ask what his reasoning is behind his expression, he would reply: “wow~ For someone who just gave birth, you look incredibly hot,” he would snicker as you playfully sigh at his jovial antics. But, keep in mind that he is sincere about his seemingly teasing comment. A warm smile will have crossed onto Jongdae’s face the moment he catches a glimpse of his newborn son. “Wow, what’d ya do to make him this quiet babe? He wasn’t like this when he was first born. But, then again, he was pretty much forced out into the real world…so I guess I can understand why he wasn’t too happy then,” he would remark, once again retaining his comical side. But, in all seriousness, he would be ecstatic to see his baby boy once more, this time in a more passive state then previously. He would enjoy swaying around the room with your son in his arms, as he hums soft lullabies to keep him in this state of serenity. I can see him bringing one of the toys from his son’s nursery to the hospital to keep your baby boy occupied. However, once your son starts crying, once he’s gotten enough of the toy, Chen would give you that look, with a half smile and raised eyebrows as he remarks: “well, looks like we’re gonna be up all night for the next few months,” he would comment with sarcastic “joy.” But, all in all, he would be excited to take your little boy home for the first time. 

Sehun: Not a trace of Sehun’s signature brattiness would linger within him once he catches glimpse of you cradling your newborn daughter within your arms. He would bid you a comforting smile as he approaches you with delicacy, as if he would disturb you otherwise. “She looks so cute, baby,” he would coo softly to you, while the side of his hand runs down your cheek affectionately. He would be so enraptured with you and just the sheer fact that you’re the mother of his baby…it would all be pleasantly surreal for Sehun. He’ll outstretch his arms as his baby girl stirs into a wake, indicating that he wants to hold her for a bit. At this, he wouldn’t be able to stop smiling and bragging about his daughter. “She’s perfect, just like my jagi. And me of course. Yes, she’s gonna be the most beautiful girl of all…and she won’t date until she’s 40,” he would add, along with a jocose smirk, as he’s cradling his daughter, completely smitten with her. He’ll feel a sense of immense responsibility as you and your new baby are being escorted out, with Sehun close by. He might murmur little compliments to you as you depart the hospital: “my jagi’s so perfect,” to which you would respond with a benign smile. 

Chanyeol: This boy will not be able to conceal his smiles, once he catches glimpse of you. He’ll have the sudden urge to run up to you and just totally glomp you since it feels like it’s been an eternity since he’s last seen you. Of course, he’ll come dashing through into your hospital room as if he was on fire. “Jagi! Are you alright?!” is the first thing he’ll say to you. Since giving birth was strenuous enough for you, he’s still under the impression that you’re still majorly recovering from it, albeit the fact that you’re nearly rejuvenated, thanks to a good two days worth of resting. You would give him a scolding look, warning him to keep his composure, to not disturb your slumbering daughter. After exchanging a sheepish grin at you, Yeol would become highly anticipant to hold his new princess for a while. But in the meantime, he’ll just point out all the things he finds ‘cool’ about your baby girl: “Babe, look how cool her ears are. They look just like mine! She kinda looks like you when she’s sleeping, don’t you think jagi?” he’ll be in an exuberant trance as he’s listing all the ways your baby girl is ‘cool.’ Once you actually depart, he’ll be very cautious around you; one little look of displeasure, and he’ll be alarmed immediately. But, nonetheless, he’ll continue to rhapsodize on and on about your daughter while you depart from the hospital. 

Lay: Yixing will be an absolute sweetheart towards you when he arrives at your room for visiting hours. When is this guy never a sweetheart? Yixing will enter your room softly and placidly, so not to disturb you or your newborn son. I can see him bringing you a bundle of roses, their unmistakable scarlet hue immediately catching your attention as he enters the room. He’ll greet you with a loving smile as he makes his way to plant an affectionate kiss upon your forehead. “Good morning baobei,” he’ll greet you warmly, still in awe of you, after witnessing you so strongly bringing his baby boy into this world. I can see him also bringing a toy for your little prince to occupy himself with, while you both watch, completely enchanted by the sheer innocence. “My sweet prince…” he’ll murmur as you allow him to cradle your son momentarily. I should also mention how attentive Lay would be towards you, if you were to want something. As you’re departing from the hospital, with your newborn son in his arms, I can see Lay having you on his mind…he would view you in a different light, as the memories from your son’s birth are still quite lucid in his mind. He would think of you as one of the strongest, bravest people he has encountered and will probably end up praising you once more for your hard work and efforts. 

Luhan: Luhan will also be absolutely affectionate towards you when arriving to the hospital during visiting hours. As I’ve mentioned before, I think Luhan would view this in a traditional manner, so I could see him wanting his family there to pick you and the baby up as well. He would want his family to see him in a new light; as a real father. I can see him bringing in a bundle of pastel balloons in profound shades of blue for you and your newborn son. Approaching you, he would immediately seek a kiss from you, while he smiles proudly as his gaze falls to his son. Though he won’t say it, he would grin in a satisfied manner at how his baby boy has his signature “doe-like” eyes…the resemblance being heavily evident. “He’s perfect baobei,” he would murmur softly, as you respond with a weary smile. As he’s holding his little prince for an extended amount of time, he would proudly stride throughout the room, allowing his family to get a good glimpse of him with his baby. I can see him murmuring to his son as if having a conversation with the newborn: “My perfect prince, we can’t wait to take you home…yes, we’ll send you to the best schools in the country, and put you on the best soccer teams, you’re gonna be a real athlete son, just like Daddy, yes you will,” he would rave in a hushed voice, as his baby boy’s eyes twinkle slightly, just like Luhan’s. He may just have his family stay over with you both, just to help a little with the newborn. 

Baekhyun: “There she is!” he would greet you felicitously, the moment he strides into your hospital room, where you lie with your newborn baby girl nestled close to you. “Missed me? I missed both my girls,” he would comment playfully, now his attention deviating to his little princess. Amazed at her calmness, he would remark: “Wow babe, she’s so quiet. That’s good! That means we’ll get lots of sleep!” at this you would correct Baek, telling him that she’s only calm when she’s napping, but you were up all night while he was away. Chuckling, he would pat your head with affection, “our princess is gonna be a little diva! She’s gonna want all our attention!” You would snicker at this, telling him that your daughter inherited this from her father, to which he would smirk teasingly at. Afterwards, while he’s cradling your princess, I can see him taking pictures of her and with her, sending it to all the members and his family, with some sort of witty caption to accompany the picture. Afterwards, he’ll be very buoyant, wanting to get home as soon as possible so that his baby girl can see the nursery room, the adorable toys, and little, posh dresses all for her. I can see him doing aeygo or funny faces to entertain his daughter. 

Xiumin: Super adorable, is how I describe Minseok being in this scenario. He would peep in through the doorway to your hospital room, as if he’s making sure if he’s invited or not. You would giggle in response to his ‘courtesies’ as you assure him that he can come in. Grinning with palpable elation, he would stride towards you cautiously as he observes the very precious scene of you nursing your newborn baby girl. He would keep quiet, as he does not wish to disturb you from bonding with your daughter. Instead, he would watch, not being able to obscure his smiles at the sight of you cooing to your baby girl; he would find it all highly charming. When he gets to hold his daughter for an extended amount of time, I can see him doing aeygo and maybe singing a cute song like “The three bears” song, watching intently as her little eyes widen with curiosity. “She really does look like you jagi,” he would comment half to himself, as he continues cutely cooing to her and playing with her cheeks that bear a striking resemblance to his. Xiumin would also be very vigilant of you and anything you might need, since you’re still in a recovery phase. It’d be almost as if he works as a doctor/nurse at the hospital. As you’re departing from the hospital, he’ll be close by you, making sure you make it out alright, all while cradling and amusing his little princess. 

D.O: Easily the most attentive and organized of all the members, Kyungsoo would know exactly what to do and what to expect when bringing you and your newborn son home. He will have everything prepared and packed, checked thrice before you depart, making it less stressful on you. I can also see Kyungsoo bringing in some baby toys for him to occupy your son with if needed. He would also praise you the moment he sees you snuggled in your hospital bed with your baby boy nestled up to you cozily. “My jagi is so strong. You’re amazing,” he would praise you blithely as he is handed his little boy. To keep his baby boy at a passive state, he would start singing a few soothing lullabies, allowing his velvety voice to resonate softly in the room. You might even be lulled into a soporific state with how mollifying his singing would be. He would also be very attentive to the baby as well…if you needed any help with your son, Kyungsoo would be right there and would know exactly how to go about it. As I’ve said before, he is naturally a father, so this would come to him with ease. He would be very cautious when you actually depart from the hospital, making sure you’re okay as well as your little prince. 

Tao: The moment Tao catches glimpse of you cradling your baby boy, he’ll probably end up dropping a few tears. This would be an emotional moment for Tao. Firstly, he has yearned for you greatly since the day(s?) you were emitted into the hospital, successful in bringing his son into the world. And second, seeing you alright and healthy as well as his little boy would all overwhelm him. Although he’ll try his best not to get too overemotional, he would end up shedding a few tears of graciousness. He would murmur strings of “I love you’s” as he clears his eyes of any stray tears. “Baobei, you’re the best…our little prince is perfect,” he would remark gratefully, as he strokes the little tuft of hair your son has. At some point, he will practically beseech to you to hold his son for a while, to which you would permit. At this, he would start taking selcas with his newborn son and sharing it on his sns, adding a cute caption to accompany the many selcas he has posted. He would be so dazzled with his son, who is a splitting image of him. As you’re departing from the hospital, he would still find other selcas to post to Instagram while carrying your son, taking you both home. The caption: “Guess who looks cooler then their Dad?” 

Hope you enjoyed! Have an ask for me? Be sure to send them to me! I enjoy fulfilling your fantasies!


101 Thinkpiece Articles on Millennials

Are you a hack that’s running out of ways to complain about the World’s Worst Generation, Millennials? Better turn in your resignation form, fool, because I’ve got a whole glut of Millennial articles that will draw in those Baby Boomer clicks like no ones business.

  1. The ME Generation: Why All Writing Is About Millennials Now
  2. Participation Trophies Are Why Entitled Millennials Think They Deserve Jobs
  3. Newsflash, Millennials: Your Workplace Doesn’t Come With Participation Trophies
  4. Millennials and the War on Gluten
  5. How Millennials Destroyed The McDonald’s Dollar Menu
  6. Studies Show Millennials Really Were Born Yesterday
  7. How Millennial Multiculturalism Killed My Dog And Ruined My Marriage
  8. I Don’t Care What Anyone Says, I Still Love My Entitled Millennial Son
  9. Latest Millennial “Meme” Is Literally Just Punching Older People
  10. How To Participation Trophy Proof Your Home (So Your Grandkids Won’t Be Huge Pussies)
  11. I Straight Up Punted My Newborn Son Across The Hospital Room While He Was Breastfeeding To Teaching Him There’s No Such Thing As A Free Meal
  12. How To Threaten, Bribe, And Coerce Your Entitled Millennial Children From Putting You In A Nursing Home
  13. Millennials Getting Older Everyday, Still Terrible
  14. Millennials and the War on Heterosexuality
  15. My Millennial Son Is Better Than Your Millennial Son, Lorraine
  16. Millennials More Compassionate, Studies Show This Is Still Bad Somehow
  17. Coping With New Millennial Genders
  18. Millennials Hate Free Speech Unless It’s About Them
  19. My Entitled Millennial Son Keeps Staring Hungrily At My Participation Trophies
  20. Millennial Daughters: Nonexistent?
  21. Why Millennials Don’t Deserve The Sun
  22. Millennials Even Breathe Differently
  23. Studies Show Millennials Less Likely To Be White
  24. Rise In Witchcraft Practitioners Among Millennials
  25. Millennials Allergic To Hard Work
  26. Millennials So Addicted To College, Risk Bankruptcy To Continue Educations
  27. How To React When Your Millennial Son Brings Home A Participation Trophy
  28. If Millennials Like Punching Nazis So Much, Why Didn’t They Fight In World War II?
  29. Looking At Participation Trophies Lowers Testosterone, Studies Show
  30. Millennials Recycling Cost Plastic Industry 10,000,000 Jobs Per Year
  31. Millennials Ruined Gluten Allergies For Everyone
  32. Newsflash Millennials: Gluten Is Our God Now
  33. Reclaiming The Title “Entitled” From Entitled Millennials
  34. Millennials On Wall Street: Refuse To Put In The 10 Years Of Hard Work Before Acquiring Hoes And Blow
  35. More Millennials Using Public Transportation Than Ever
  36. Check Your Millennial Son’s Internet Browsing History And Get Him To Church
  37. Millennials: The Gayest?
  38. Vaccinating Your Millennial Sons
  39. Millennials Addicted To Cats
  40. Millennials Are Why The Future Won’t Have Hoverboards
  41. “Eco-Friendly” Latest Fetish Amongst Millennials
  42. How Millennials Destroyed Democracy
  43. Millennials Overly Sensitive To Words, Claim They Have “Meaning”
  44. Millennial Bootstraps: Permanently Frayed
  45. Not Ashamed Of My Entitled Millennial Children
  46. Millennials Told They Could “Do Anything”, Psyches Ruined
  47. Why Do Millennials Have Such Bad Taste In Music?
  48. Coping With Millennial Tears
  49. Why Aren’t Millennials Spending $30,000 A Month On Wine?
  50. ME ME ME: No Generation Has Taken As Many Selfies As Millennials
  51. Hard Work “Too Hard” For Soft Entitled Millennials
  52. Millennials Lack Fiscal Knowledge, Prefer Renting To Buying Houses
  53. Newest Millennial “Meme” Completely Incomprehensible
  54. Are 35-Year-Olds Millennials? Yes, Says New Research Study
  55. Today’s Millennials Have No Moral Compass
  56. Heterophobia: A New Millennial Epidemic
  57. So-Called “Open Minded” Liberal Arts Students Boycott Talk By Creationist Professor
  58. Why Millennials Aren’t Going To Church Regularly
  59. My Millennial Son’s Balls Dropped Yesterday, And He’s 32
  60. Millennials Ruined Because Of Bad Parenting (But That Has Nothing To Do With Us, Right?)
  61. Smashing My Grandkids Participation Trophies So They Don’t Become Entitled Millennials Like Their Parents
  62. Millennials Addicted To Social Media, Crave Human Interaction
  63. My Millennial Son Married His iPhone
  64. Anti-Intellectuals: Millennials Show Lowered Self-Esteem After Reading Thinkpieces
  65. Millennials With Crippling Debt Have Unrealistic Expectations For New Hire Wages
  66. Impatient Entitled Millennials Make My Coffee Too Slowly
  67. Entitled Millennials Steal Term “Me Generation” From Baby Boomers
  68. The Gays Kidnapped My Millennial Son
  69. An Argument For Repression: Social Progress Creates Weak Kids (Like Millennials)
  70. Millennials Retroactively Responsible For The Great Depression
  71. So-Called “Tolerant” Millennials Intolerant Of Intolerance
  72. I Worked Hard So That My Millennial Kids Could Have A Better Life, And I’m Mad That They’re Mad That They Don’t Have A Better Life
  73. Millennial Serial Killer Admits To Using Weaponized Gluten In Series Of Grisly Murders
  74. I Love And Accept My Gay Entitled Millennial Son And His iPhone Wife
  75. Millennials Too Lazy To Write Letters, Studies Show
  76. Millennials Can’t Take A Joke
  77. Instant Messaging Related To STD Spike Among Millennials
  78. My Entitled Millennial Son Has Consumed All Of My Participation Trophies, His Eyes Glow Red In Anticipation Of Fresh Blood
  79. Millennials Dying Of Heart Disease Like Pussies
  80. Entitled Millennials Now Recognizing Austria-Hungary As New Political Entity
  81. Millennials Really Need To Start Flossing
  82. Millennial Vectors Responsible For Latest Rhinovirus Mutation
  83. Millennials Rack Up More Phone Bills Than All Prior Generations Combined
  84. “Sliding Into DMs” Related To Spike In Wrist Fractures
  85. Millennials Take Everything Too Seriously
  86. Entitled Welfare Millennial “Too Embarassed” To Take Third Part Time Job
  87. The Fall Of Rome Was Retroactively Caused By Millennials
  88. The Alignment Of The Stars: How Astrology Proves That Millennials Are The Worst
  89. Millennials Have Sick Obsession With The Moon
  90. Hey Millennials: The Moon Is Not A Participation Trophy
  91. Millennial STEM Majors Too Impatient For PHDs
  92. Collectively, Millennials Are The Antichrist
  93. Small Town Razed By Entitled Millennial Son In Search Of Participation Trophies, No Survivors
  94. Angry Millennial Yells At Cloud
  95. Why Is My Entitled Millennial Son Depressed?
  96. Average Millennial Runs On 3 Hrs Of Sleep, Study Shows
  97. Positivity And Millennials: Is It Possible?
  98. Millennials Worst At Philosophy
  99. Escaped Entitled Millennial Son Still At Large, Church Officials Claim “Highly Dangerous”
  100. Millennials Don’t HAVE To Be Gay
  101. Shut The Fuck Up About Millennials Already

I had an emergency c section! Kaiden Reeves, born at 6:30 pm on 7/17/15 weighing 4 pounds 11 ounces, and 18 inches long! The absolute LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!! I couldn’t stop touching and kissing on him. I’m so glad he’s finally here and is in good health. No longer have to stress about him!