Did you know?

Every single thing you’ve heard, read, watched, experienced, expressed, said, shouted, wrote;
Every single opinion you’ve had, agreed on, discussed, believed;
Every single person you know or have known;
Have all served to bring you to this moment.

Now, if this moment isn’t meeting most of your needs then there is work to be done.
A controlled mental diet is what the Universe has ordered.
That doesn’t mean you have to cut everyone out, ofcourse not.
But you have to consider how much news you’ll see, how much gossip you’ll encounter, how long you’ll spend around people that make you feel worse after, the books you read (or, will start to read), the music you hear and where you’ll spend your time.
Every second of 24 hours is creation. If you don’t make any changes then you will continue to create what you have now.
The question is, what are you going to create with it?

Sometimes I doubt if I could be anything for you
can’t stomach these feelings
that are floating around for you
I’ve tried many ways to rid of this love
I have in my heart for you
only because you can’t seem to feel the same too
I’ve been writing poems about you for two years now
hopeless in love and all I can feel is foolish
can’t even talk to you the same just to mask the fact
that I’m in love with you, but I know my eyes are 101 loveproof
I see couples together all around me
and my mind betrays me for a moment and I’m consumed
with thoughts of the possibility that we could be
and you loving me could finally become true
You catch my eye, but I look down and pretend it didn’t happen
the way your dimples deepen give me the impression
that you could be feeling me
But then I see you hugged up with your girlfriend
and the thought of you liking me turns into a fantasy

I secretly catch you staring at me closely or from afar
have me wondering whether you find me beautiful
or if you’re simply just dozing off
I’m just lost––but, probably not I’m not the type to drop jaws
just the type to make you laugh
our relationship remaining platonic
and all you’ll have of me are friendly, wholesome thoughts
Where in my right mind did I come up
with the notion that you might love me more than a best friend?
But that bit of hope keeps me thinking:
is that really how everything will end?
I have no idea, but only time will tell
and though I think I don’t deserve it
I’m blessed that the Lord has left you in my life still
Although I know you can’t just be best friends
with someone you’re in love with
I hope that it’ll just be a matter of time
that you will be mine

—  he’s not mine

Maybe it’s my past
it’s being touched by trespassers of my consent
it’s being eaten alive
by someone’s eyes-
someone 5 times my size.
it’s being left behind
in strangers’ houses 
crying my eyes out at night
(while you’re out having a good time)
just being a mere responsibility
thrown around
from hand to hand,
from house to house.
My tears meant nothing
My screams 
were childish
That heaving in my chest
was just me being
That’s why I’m so fucked up
Much less than I ought to be
but still enough
to never stop craving attention
to never stop craving affection
no matter how much I already have.
that’s why swallow my words
and suck up my tears
because my problems aren’t big enough
because I need to be tough.
I don’t want to be dramatic
because “I’m a big girl”…
I know my past does not define my future,
but maybe
it explains the state I’m in.

-iri.i ©

March 24 2017

This Spring Winter Weather

What springs into my mind
When I look at “Spring” outside
Not yarrow, under blankets lie
Forgotten, wilted, died

The weather man in the sky
Doesn’t like rules
He watches the mountains
Melt into pools
And he pulls a lever to freeze it
What Spring? I just don’t believe it

This is the game he plays
Freeze tomorrow, melt today
I watch from inside, scribbling
My complaints to his not listening

Folded into a paper plane
Shot towards oncoming rain
Rain, although just drizzling
Maybe, finally, he’s started listening

BTS Reactions to their s/o Being in a Girl Group

Request:  Hi! please can you do a (possibly long) bts written reaction to their idol gf being a drummer, dancer and rapper in a girl group! :)

Note: Wow I love this idea :’)) wow I wish I was this talented aha, I hope you like it! Some of these may not be as funny as they are purely fluff, and that’s mostly because I feel that a passion of music is something that I can relate to and can be very romantic about. I let my own feeling of passion take over my writing of this one since I’ve seen the same sort of funny idol reactions a lot and would like to get a bit deep <3 (P.S. you asked for long, and I did my best to provide !!)

Kim Seokjin

Originally posted by myloveseokjin

Jin would, in his usual behavior, have a sort of motherly pride while seeing his s/o make all of her dreams come true. He would quickly become her number one supporter, and attend every performance that his schedule would allow. Despite seeing all of these performances, the amazed reactions he would provide never seemed to be short of the happiness he felt when he first saw the stages she performed, always earning the same shy smile in response that he found beautiful. He would love practicing in the same area as her, despite never getting work done because the endless hours of admiring her (cue constant sounds of “wahhhh” and sneaky little winks and/or blown kisses whenever she reacts), plus giving her tips anywhere he felt he was in the place to. The sessions tend to end with him asking her to teach him some of her key dances and working incredibly hard to actually learn them so he could impress her as much as she impressed him every day. I also feel that she would inspire him to strive for more. To fly higher, and get to a place where he feels like he’s meant to stand beside her. A place where he can finally stop admiring and be on equivalent groups (as if he isn’t already nearly perfect psh).

P.S. If she were to ever create solo music, you bet he’s the one adding in any vocals. A few more songs to add to his public playlist :))

“Have I ever told you how truly talented you are?”

“Yes, Seokjin. Around five times in the last thirty seconds.”

“Well, you are truly talented.”

Kim Namjoon

Originally posted by ksjknj

Imagine that huge bright and true smile of his, yes you know, that one. Now imagine him wearing it for hours on end just because he saw his love performing live. This relationship would make everyone so happy, members and fans alike, just because Namjoon is so bright while being with someone he loves and shares the same passion with. I would expect so many collabs and demos and cute little dance videos (in which he makes an adorable fool of himself but it’s okay because the whole video is filled with his laughter and that brightens up any day). He would try, try so hard at learning the drums, but she would refuse to allow him to even go near her set after the third ripped drum head and fifth broken stick, so he any videos including drums were of him showing off her skills. A lot of his compositions would become love songs, and everyone would know exactly why after seeing his vlives in Mon Studio featuring more appearances of his s/o curled up comfortable in a corner when shes not busy herself. It would be a well known fact that alone, they would often confess all of the poured out feelings they had and use it to their musical advantage. As for the kind of music they’d create together, it would range from intensely lit music that got everyone dancing or, their personal favorite, soft r&b pieces in which they let everything out and/or bring attention to important things.

“I swear if you lay one finger on my drum I will take back my studio key and never allow you back in.”



Min Yoongi

Originally posted by mn-yg

We can all see it: The Most Savage Rapping Couple of 20XX. Yoongi would easily be able to connect with this type of idol, i.e. someone that enjoys music so much that they worked to become talented in multiple fields. Everybody would see the chemistry from they flow of their conversations, especially when music is the topic. They would have a deep knowledge of how one another felt and it would spark many feelings that would never be deniable. These two would often wander off to a world of their own while in the midst of tons of people, just because their conversations were untouchable by the outside world. Also, despite their endless similarities, their endless differences would inspire one another to reach for so much more. Yoongi’s wish of learning the drums would be fulfilled to full extent (thanks to a few all-nighters just because they couldn’t think of leaving each others’ sides). He may teach his s/o a few of his composing tricks, to which she would be able to contribute to her group’s music and be endlessly thankful to him for. Yoongi’s music would become better and better (somehow) and his s/o would be known more and more for hr endless work ethic. This would be a good thing for their members, too, since one improving member can easily inspire the other members to improve with them. This relationship shows strength.

P.S. nobody understands their sense of cruel humor, and give up trying to after the two dedicate (savage as fuck) diss tracks to one another as a Christmas present.

“I thought you would make up for your height in other ways, but alas, I’ve been disappointed once again.”

“One more word obout my height or dick size and I delete your computer files while you sleep.”

“Sure, Mr. Jjang Jjang Man Boong Boong.”

Jeon Hoseok

Originally posted by myloveseokjin

Bless this boy, it’s another case of the endless smile :’)) I believe Hoseok would be more of an inspiration to his s/o than the other way around. Her multiple talents may be on showcase for all to marvel at (which Hoseok does openly and happily) but she may see the boy being much more talented than her, since his talents are long lasting and influential worldwide. He’d create endless amounts of happiness, drive people to be so much better than they ever thought they could be, and create a sense of safety with only a few words. She’d love every second he took out of his day to watch her train and practice, for she would be his center of attention and there was no feeling like it. He would inspire her to take her already many talents and make them better. Hoseok, on the other hand, would know about the effects he has on her (they’re pretty obvious) and continue them ‘til the ends of the earth.He would find the girl fascinating and so incredibly lovely. He would only ever want the best for her and would do whatever he could do to help her get to it while keeping it fun and exciting. It would a because she inspired him. After meeting her, his dance became smoother, his raps became easier to write, and his sunshine smile became a bit brighter. He thought of helping her as returning the favor.

P.S. Imagine the mixtapes and choreography they could work on in their spare times…. bangtan bombs just became a little more lit.

“Hoseok come on, let’s run trough it one more time before wrapping up.”

“You know you’re at your limit. Don’t push yourself. Besides, why would I want to continue practicing when the arCADE JUST OPENED DOWN THE STREET LET’S GOOOO.”

“…You better win me a damn stuffed animal.”

Park Jimin

Originally posted by yoonmin

Jimin’s affection equals hours of silent work by one another and by the end of the day, feeling closer than ever before. He would be impressed by her mounts of talent, but wouldn’t let himself openly fawn over it too much. Not because he didn’t want to seem fanboyish or anything, since she would already be certain that he was her number one fan at all times, but because he knew how much more it would mean to her if said only on occasion. He would treat her rightfully as an equal and she would know it was for the best because it meant not being alone on some sort of pedestal. It wouldn’t be until late nights, when she’s stressed and close to giving up, that he would take her in his arms and reassure her that she is amazing and talented and that if she tries hard enough, there is guaranteed success. Her most trusted source of harsh criticism would become Jimin because of this, since she knows that he never sugarcoats anything, and she would do the same. They would create the prettiest dances together, too; taking a like talent and making something extraordinary from it through humor, comfort, and untouchable connection. Undoubtedly, dorky behavior prevailed from the two, and every fan witnessed it in countless twitter wars of just videos of each other. Jimin making a terrible drum beat, his girlfriend taking a key part of one her dances and messing it up in an incredibly embarrassing way, him dancing the hottest girl group choreography, her rapping straight fire in her best aegyo voice; free time with these two would be an adventure.

“Jimin, if you post one more video of that damn rap, I swear I will pull out the Good Girl, Bad Girl clip.”

Kim Taehyung

Originally posted by hellosarang

Tae would be the perfect opposite of Jimin. He would know how amazing she was, and tell her about it every chance that he got. All of her group’s songs would be on his playlist and he would blast it throughout the studio or dorm. He would watch her practice and marvel at her in wonder. He would ask her to teach him how to play drums and giggle happily every time he messed up, having to leave it to her to have such a wonderful skill. He would watch her write lyrics and express them in her own way of rap and just smile because he loved to see how happy it made her. Her dance always infatuated him as he watched from beside the mirrors, showing her that he saw the emotions she was portraying and that he understood what they meant. Whenever he got to help writing lyrics for Bangtan, he would go straight to her for help because he looked up to her. He would love everything about her and make it known, only asking for her love in return, which he wouldn’t have to ask for in the slightest—since anybody would be willing to love such a beautiful person. He would be able to keep her stable and excited with his constant humor and playful attitude. It would never bother how much he admired her, because she admired him too in a lot more was than he would think. Whenever he watched practices, every member would love it because his smile had ‘the power to heal exhaustion.’

“Taetae i would love to help you right now but I have a performance tomorrow to prepare for.”

“Oh, well can I watch?”

“You have to go- no don’t you dARE GIVE ME THAT SMILE.”

Jeon Jungkook

Originally posted by donewithjeon

A Golden Maknae and an incredibly talented female idol…. music shows would have fun with that. I feel like Kookie is often singled out for having multiple talents, so he would really enjoy knowing someone with that same kind of recognition. The two could easily learn to fill in one another’s weaknesses and become the duo of the century, making continuous demos and covers in any downtime that they have together. According to Suga’s birthday video, Jungkook has been wishing for a drum teacher rather than being self taught! It would be a great way to learn something new, and his s/o could learn something from him as well. These two would build one another up really high and support each other the whole way, creating an unstoppable pair of growing artists. They would’t just keep to themselves though, I feel that they would, together, motivate both groups to become more ad more. They would pour out ideas to each other late at night, build upon each idea, then return for thoughts of other members. The dependence they could create for one another is amazing and lovely, and the fun they can have while doing so could turn their passions into something they never want to get rid of.

P.S. Jungkook’s snarky remarks probably cause a lot of playful competition between the two.

“Well, this idea seemed really nice, and fits our concept well. What do you think, Kookie?”

“Are you sure that you, of all people can even pull that off?”

“I sure as hell can! Just you watch, smartass.”

“Yes, yes, sure you can, honey. I also think it’ll help if you add…”

Permanent starter and plotting call!

Feel free to give this a like if you don’t mind me randomly tagging you in starters, whether I come to you slamming down ideas on im then do the thing, or I literally just go ahead and do it, I have tons of inspiration to pull from. This post basically gives me permission to bother you, tag you, plot with you out of the blue etc. No matching is required in length either in the case of starters being written!

When she was young she was like a rose,
Her tongue sharp like a thorn and her skin smooth as the petals.
When she was young she was like the moon,
Glowing in the darkness with orb brown eyes that held all the stars.
When she was young she was like honey,
Her laugh sweet on the ear and her hair oiled back with youth.

But then she became old.

She became like a worn novel,
Torn at the edges and crippling with the loss of her parents.
She became like the holy book,
Reading scripture like it would maybe slow her down from deaths call.
She became like black coffee,
Bitter towards her grandchildren and harsh words slipped from her tongue.

So when the time came and the people she once loved looked at her with hard eyes, she wondered what went wrong?

—  C. L. Wing // Poem 2
Get To Know Me Tag!

Why hello there fine stranger! Having been tagged by @dotson12340 I am now spending my Friday night in the most fantastic way possible…writing alone in a dark room on my laptop. So, here is more than one could ever want to know about me!

Rules: Must answer the questions below and tag 20 of your very own followers to answer them themselves.

Name: Amber 

Nicknames: I mean I have a few, depending on who it is! My friends and history teacher call me Amberino, which kinda sounds like some samba dance to me but since I need an A in history I let it slide. My boyfriend calls me “smol bean” mostly because I am 5 foot 4…but I don’t even like beans. I’ll have to ask him why I’m a bean. My grandparents call me Amber-lance because of their boundless humour and my boundless clumsiness, while my best friend calls me Amberlicious…like the pizza. It’s complicated. 

Zodiac Sign: Scorpio …November baby!

Height: I think I answered this before, 5 foot 4, though I’m 5′5 on a good day!

Orientation: I’ll let you know when I know myself…

Ethnicity: White British, though to be honest it doesn’t even do justice to how pasty I am. In my Year 11 leavers’ photo I look like an extraterrestrial snowman. 

Favourite Fruit: Banana, or as I call it, the *trusty* banana. Not even a euphemism, I just love a good banana…. *wink* 

Favourite Season: Spring or Autumn; I like being able to wear comfy hoodies without freezing, however in the summer I burn like a crisp. (Last summer I went to the beach and I thought I had baptised my body in enough sun cream to be spared from Satan’s rays, but nope! I forgot to plunge the back of my knees in that white goo, which ultimately resulted in me walking like a cripple for the next week.) 

Favourite Book: Oh boy, I remember when I had time to read books, back before Year 13. And well, given that I haven’t read since the sands of time decided it was impossible to enjoy life without plunging into impending doom and missing my university offer I am going to tell you the next book I want to read. That book is Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts. 

Favourite Flower: Gosh I don’t know my flowers…pretty ones!

Favourite Scent: Gingerbread and clean sheets, just perhaps not together…

Favourite Animal: Anything smol…little piggies, little doggos, lil’ tortoises  

Coffee, Tea or Hot Cocoa: Hot Chocolate every time, unless I have an exam to cram for and then coffee is my last hope. 

Cat or Dog Person: A cat person, I’ve spent the last year plotting a scheme to make my boyfriend’s cats like me, though they are very high maintenance felines and Socks still runs away from me, despite my best efforts to appease him. 

Favourite Fictional Character: Having not read any books recently I really don’t feel educated on this topic. Therefore I am going to wimp out and say that since I am on Season 2 of Game of Thrones (I am behind the times) Ayra is my favourite character! 

Dream Trip: Travelling through Europe. Although one day I would also love to visit Canana. My history teacher is from Canana and she is ever so lovely!

Blog Created: I am guessing, but I want to say late January or February 2016. 

Number of Followers: As of today, 35,817 wonderful people follow my blog. 

What Do I Post About: I really think the dynamic of my blog has changed over the last year or so that I’ve been posting. At the beginning, I used it as a method of dealing with the anxiety and depression I was facing at the time. This largely anonymous blog was a method of releasing negative emotions and thoughts that I didn’t feel I could continue to burden my friends with. However last summer I met my now boyfriend, and he was a huge help in coaxing me out of a dark time. At the end of the summer when he went back to university, this blog became my venting space for the challenges of a Long Distance Relationship. Nevertheless, sometimes I just post completely random poetry on here, things that I’ve written and would like to share as well as the weird and wonderful thoughts that simply pass through my mind. 

Do I Get Asks on a Regular Basis: I would say yes, and I try to respond to as many as I can. I certainly read all of them. At the moment I’m not taking submissions as I am trying very hard to build up my own presence as a writer first. Though saying that, it is one thing I would really like to do. 

Aesthetic: I’ll be honest, I have no idea. If you’ve made it this far (god bless you if you have) why not drop me a comment or send me a message telling me which aesthetic you think my blog is! 

Favourite Band or Artist: Look, I’m not here to lie to you, I’m a huge Swiftie. I also love Ed Sheeran, All Time Low, Panic! At The Disco, Simple Plan, Coldplay, Lewis Watson, Twenty One Pilots, Woodkid, Anarbor, Melanie Martinez, Arctic Monkeys, The Neighbourhood, The 1975, The Fray…I’m going to stop now, I have no doubt you get the picture. 

Fictional Characters I’d Date: Another fictional character question I cannot answer, one day I must return to these. 

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw! 

I really hope you feel you’ve learnt something new about me. Feel free to ask any questions! :) 

And now for the task of selecting twenty followers to continue this insightful and yet hopelessly time consuming trend: 

@brokenbrushpoetry  @anubhavkatyal  @bourne-fiction  @insideidiot

 @themostfabulouslesbian  @chipowtle  @evangelineblack

 @gypsyysister  @karefron  @mizu-no-you  @tiredunistudent

@isolatednotions  @onedaywriting  @z-l-writes  @a-girls-answer-to-the-world  

@spilledblackink  @mermaidmischief-blog  @jigaloo  @bananaqueen101


// A.S 

Confession time.

In the time since I saw the movie on Sunday I have become Gaston (and LeFou, but mostly Gaston) trash. Like I know it’s messed up, he is a villain (one of the great Disney villains if I am honest) and he does truly terrible shit that is not something you come back from but…I want him to.

Like all of a sudden in the year of 2017 I am here for Gaston & feel a urge to defend and protect him. It makes no fucking sense but here I am. I’m so mad at Luke Evans for this.

the sun seems to breathe in this town
like where I’ve grown accustomed to the sea spitting across my city
it’s like this one has never known the burn of salt water into her eyes
instead it embodies crimson shades of sun pressing up against my curtains, melting into each other like it may set aflame
instead it holds my gaze high like I’ve forgotten how my feet used to sink into the concrete

the sun seems to breathe here
like she’s inhaling so slowly,
like she’s taking me in, like she wants my details in the palms of her hands
she exhales and for the first time in what feels like a long while,
I stop trembling without you.

—  te anau is growth // ljw

People out here acting like Belle was this suppressed Disney princess who needed the live action remake to make her a strong independent princess. YeAH, NO. like, listen, I love a lot of the things they did to Belle’s character in the new movie. They really fleshed her and gave her more backstory that the original movie didn’t give her. YEAH. But okay, in the process of that they also somehow took away a little bit of the warmth and kindness and weakness that is in Belle, despite her independence and tough strength.

Belle in the live action didn’t laugh and dance along during Be Our Guest, she didn’t weep and mourn the loss of her father and freedom, she didn’t fear what her life was becoming. In the original, Belle takes her father’s place willingly. She doesn’t try to escape. She’s self sacrificing, compassionate and kindhearted, and there’s moments in the live action where that falls flat, if it’s even there as it is. 


It’s not about Emma Watson’s Belle or her acting. I like Emma Watson’s Belle. I can’t look at her and see Belle from the beloved original, but she is definitely Belle, and she makes Belle her own. Overall, I like her fresh take on the character, and I’m grateful for her portrayal. But because of the little things they took away from Belle’s character in the live action, she’s not completely Belle, in my own personal opinion. 

Does that make any flipping sense? I doubt it. 

I guess what the point of all this babble and incoherent opinions is this. Belle was already a strong female character for girls to look up to. That’s the point I’m trying to make. Everyone’s acting like SUDDENLY she’s worth something now, because she’s being portrayed as a bit tougher and stronger. Which, okay, great. But don’t take away the fact that when Beauty and the Beast came out in ’91, Belle was a very different princess than the others had been. She, and, well, Ariel too, really broke the mold of what the Disney princesses were, and literally paved the way for the princesses to gradually stand on their own more and more.

(I love Walt’s Original Three and am not saying they aren’t princesses who don’t stand on their own they are all so so important and strong and I will kick anyone who fights me on this. I’m talking about Belle right now though)

So, like, admire Emma Watson for the new things she’s brought to the table, the way she brought more depth to an already beloved, strong princess, while still appreciating Belle for who she already was, who she always has been.


Why does everyone
Want to change–me?
Am I really that terrible?

I prefer black over white; I am
Pale. Oftentimes, I prefer wedges
Or heels over flats; I am short.

Typically, I appear to be gothic
With dark colors; I like flowers and Sparkles. I do not fuck with sequins–
I prefer stones over diamonds.
I am just a walking contradiction.
I will always pick thigh highs,
Dresses and skirts over pants;
I will always choose plants and
Chemicals. I will always enjoy indie,
Classical, electric, rock, alternative;
Stringed and electric. I will always
Love nature; I will always love
Unnatural creations. I will always

Love. It is called balance.
Where is your mind?

ok so?? spoilers? but I never really said anything abt my feelings on the new ep and recent eps here (even tho I’ve been screaming abt it on twitter) so. some things that bother me abt recent taz events

how does the timeline of their lives even work with them all having supposedly belonged to this organization in their past…where does it fit?? something feels out of place in the sequence of events. and the whole ‘there’s this NEW and OTHER thing that ALSO makes you forget all abt this part of your life so I have free reign over ur backstories’ is really. it feels cheap. not good story telling but. whatever that’s been an element to the whole show. and I’ve been suspicious of their memory gaps since the eleventh hour so that’s not exactly a new concern. oh yeah, but the whole ‘you have a sibling you forgot about and I am deciding this for you despite it not fitting your character motivations and despite saying that I wouldn’t mess with your original backstory’ also is really. ehhhh. like is it just me or is this starting to feel a little. needlessly convoluted? and bit like god modding? I never really cared abt the taako sister theory bc it just felt like. it would be bad writing for it to be true but now here we are and I’m just like. ok that’s. really dumb but ok.

good things:

lucretia!!! love her, glad she’s not really the bad guy
Angus? an angel. the fact that taako said he trusts him was nice, and he is generally just a good egg that I enjoy havin around. hmmm what else. those Taako and Merle character interactions were real good, and I’m so glad mags is back in his flesh bod

idk what else to say, this ep was a tough one for me. I’m intrigued by the hunger, wanna see where this story goes, but as of now there are some things that are feeling really forced and unnecessary, and like griffin is writing a fanfiction rather than creating a world for actual players with agency

i loved him.
it wasn’t the sort of love
they wrote novels about,
the kind that glows,
but the quiet kind.
the kind too soft
for love songs,
for endless love poems,
hidden behind shy smiles
and forbidden glances.
the kind that played
long after curtains were drawn,
long after his feet
had left the stage.
it was the kind of love
i hid behind concern,
hoping that one day
he might fall in return.
—  poeticallyordinary