new york doesn't need you

I can’t wait until I can walk around a town or any of its surrounding towns and not recognize a single human. I don’t know, maybe its something about just the aura of this whole area including the city (at this point) that just gives me bad vibes. Can’t tell if i’m just stoned af and still hella sleepy, but it’s just so fun to imagine right now, to start over….find a place I feel free again. It’s probably one of my least leo-like traits to not feel the need to have or want lots of money and have fancy or overly nice things. All I want is to be truly and purely happy, and to be around people that are the same way and to maybe learn to trust people in general a bit more than I do now. I live in a town which proved to me at a very young age, money doesn’t buy you happiness. looking at my hardworking deeply in love middle class parents who would probably be happy almost any place together, and have been through situations that would destroy most families these days just makes me throw away the thought of all that unnecessary money bullshit. I’d be fine in a shack for fucks sake as long as I die feeling happy and fulfilled. Trust me, that was not my idea of a happy future as a young girl who wanted to live in new york city and be mrs. chuck bass (aka blair waldorf) lmao but as I get older my whole idea and outlook on happiness has changed. (I wish I could just write this in my journal but after a while my whole finger goes numb unfortunately)