new york destroyed

Neko, Shiba Inu/Australian Shepherd mix (16 m/o), Spring & Greene St., New York, NY • “She destroys fancy things. Anything fancy. She’s against the economy.”

My six-year-old niece saw me drawing and asked:

-,What are you drawing?
- I’m drawing Loki.
- Ah! Loki of The Avengers?
- Yes! Do you know him?
- Yes, I know! He destroyed New York, right?
- That’s right! Do you want to draw it too?
- Yes, please.

I gave her a sheet of paper and a pencil. She preferred the ballpoint pen. Then it resulted in a very simplified version.

It is worth mentioning that I LOVE children’s drawings!

OKAY BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT

PETER PARKER (Tom Holland) WAS 7 YEARS OLD WHEN LOKI CAME AND DESTROYED NEW YORK

HE WAS 7 YEARS OLD WHEN HIS LITERAL WORLD CAME UNDER ATTACK BY MONSTER ALIENS AND WAS ALMOST COMPLETELY DESTROYED

AND JUST IMAGINE NED AND “MICHELLE” AND FLASH AND LIZ AND ALL HIS OTHER PEEPS I MEAN

-Pretend this takes place a year after The Dark World. As far as Thor is aware Loki is still dead and Odin is still king. (just pretend there’s a large time gap before Ragnarok.)-

Imagine the Avengers get themselves into trouble and are held captive by a crazed man bent on destroying everything in his path. They are tied up and held captive in the man’s headquarters when suddenly they drag in a young girl who is giving them nothing but trouble (think of her as a Harley Quinn type, lol). She threatens them with her boyfriend claiming he was not not someone he wanted to mess with but the man ignores the girl and ties her up and begins to threaten her because she can’t (or won’t) keep her mouth shut. Suddenly the alarm system is tripped off and the young girl begins laughing. “He’s here,” she tells him casually as he hears the screams of his crew. One man manages to run into the room only to be dragged out screaming for his life by an unseen force. His screams go dead silent the moment he’s dragged out into the hallway. By this point the Avengers are a bit worried and even the man seems concerned. When Loki walks into the room the man drops to his knees and begs for his life. “I’m sorry, Sir. I didn’t know she was yours!” Apparently he worked for Loki when he invaded New York so he knew exactly what the God was capable of. Loki asks the girl, “Did he harm you my Darling?” She replies, “No, but he was going to.” That’s all it takes for Loki to drag him into another room- killing him. (He didn’t want his girl to see the mess) Loki unties her and looks at the rest of the Avengers and smirks, “Well, well. Look at what we have here. The Avengers all tied up. What a wonderful day this is turning out to be.“ 

Loki ends up letting the Avengers go because it had been the plan all along. The girl had been captured on purpose.The Avengers are curious of her and find out she had once been one of HYDRA’s experiments. She had been injected with a serum that now allows her to dive into people’s minds; she can also take control if she chooses to. The Avengers assumed Loki rescued her to use her for his own benefit, but it turns out they had already been together for months before she had been taken by HYDRA and Loki almost died to get her out. They were also still yet learning the side effects. The young girl is very defensive of Loki and she does everything in her power to convince the Avengers he was not the man they thought he was. They have no choice but to believe her. Why? Because Loki allowed her inside his mind; she’s seen everything, from childhood to present. 

anonymous asked:

Peter and tony "Don't you /dare/ say I don't care about you!"

 “Don’t say a word,” Tony said firmly, as they both stood face-to-face in the remains of Loki’s destruction, “not a single fucking one.”


Peter shuffled, opening his mouth a fraction, but Tony jerked forward, hand outstretched and a metal finger pressing against his lips, “not a single word, Peter, what part of that do you not underst- no, no, wait, never mind, don’t-”

“I understand all of it, I just sometimes really need to say things and want to know why exactly they’re happening, like now all I want to know is why I’m supposed to be keeping my mouth shut, although actually I think I’ve worked it out after saying all of this,” Peter babbled, eyes growing steadily wider the further he delved into his own sentence.

He hadn’t…. he hadn’t meant to say any of that. That had been a brain-thought, not a mouth-thought. What the fuck? “Loki- did he put a spell on us?”

Tony rolled his eyes and sighed irritably, “yes- and now if either of us asks the other a question, we will answer 100% truthfully with no filter whatsoever, so until this thing wears off, we keep our sentences completely questionless. Completely. No exceptions. ”

Peter paused for a few seconds, before blurting “I’ve never been put under a spell before. This is kinda awesome. Oh- it doesn’t hurt to remove them, does it? Oh, wait, shit, question-”

“It depends on the spell, and the emotional connection you have with it. For instance, I once got a touch-telepathy spell put on me in the middle of a fight and then had to hold a little boy while he died, which was incredibly painful, but just for different reasons- and Peter Parker I would like you to know that I fucking hate you, what do you not understand about ‘no questions’- oh, Jesus Christ-”

“Like I said, I understand all of it, but I’m not used to thinking too carefully about what I say, I mean, what if- no, shit, question word, okay….uhm,” Peter rubbed the back of his neck, trying to think how best to ask a question without asking a question, “The inflections of our voice might even affect whether we perceive it to be a question, I assume,” he said slowly.

“Yes,” Tony nodded, and then sighed again, “let it be known that I really fucking hate Loki. I thought we were done with this nonsense. I thought I wasn’t going to have any more issues with doing dumb shit under the influence of magic in front of other people. Jesus Christ. Hope you’re happy, asshole,” he muttered, looking up at the sky before turning on his heel and surveying the damage the Trickster god had left behind.

“I am, actually,” Peter said, and Tony swung back around, eyes wide, but Peter was off again, and there was no stopping him, “I always get a rush after fights that don’t end with any deaths, and generally speaking, I don’t think I’ve ever been happier with life.”

He slapped a hand over his mouth, cheeks reddening. Tony looked at him a little awkwardly, before nodding. “Right. Cool. I’m… I mean, I’m glad you’re happy. Although I was actually trying to talk to Loki.”

Peter nodded. “I was aware. I don’t… I don’t know why I said that.”

Tony’s eyebrows rose. “Oh, so it’s not just for questions that are directed at us, then? Interesting. Annoying, but- interesting.”

Peter shuffled on his feet. “So how long does it take for the spell to wear off? And what should I do when I’m around people? Sorry- I have to ask,” Peter said apologetically, and Tony huffed, but shrugged immediately after.

“Usually about 24 hours for the spell to wear off. You’re lucky it’s a Saturday, or you’d have to go to school with that shit. As it is, you can just stay with me, if you want. Or you can go home and tell Aunt May what’s happened.”

Peter thought about going home- about how many questions May always asked him when he stepped through the door, which he always veiled, just a little. The thought of him being 100% truthful to some of the questions she asked…

He shuddered in horror. “I think I’ll stay with you, if that’s alright.”

“Of course it’s alright, I love having you around,” Tony said immediately, and then clenched his eyes shut, “oh, Jesus Christ, I hate truth spells. They are the fucking worst ones. Just… just shut up and hop on, kid,” he said gruffly, opening his arms.

Peter was about to say something, but he decided against it as he stepped into Tony’s hold. There was currently an 87% chance it would go badly- which was a good 43% higher than his average rates. 


The ride back was silent as expected, and when Tony dropped them on the roof, he pulled out of his suit immediately and turned on his heel. “Food in the kitchen, films on JARVIS, knock yourself out. I’m going to be ignoring you in the workshop- you come down there for nothing other than the fact that you are close to imminent death. And I mean imminent. If you are dying, but slowly, it can still wait.”

“Can’t I just come down to the workshop and be quiet?” Peter called out after him.

“Peter, you don’t know what the word ‘quiet’ even means. I’ve asked you not to speak like, 19 different times in the past ten minutes, and you have listened on exactly 0 occasions.”

“I can be quiet!” Peter called, but Tony had hopped down the stairs without looking back, and Peter was left on the roof.


He sighed. This was going to be a fun weekend.



3 films, a seasons of Brooklyn 99 and exactly one empty kitchen later, and Peter was just about ready to start jumping off the walls in boredom.

He wanted to go and see Ned. But that would just be a travesty in every single way, knowing his friend’s track record of secret-keeping mixed in with his never-ending stream of question asking.

God, he was only 14 hours into this shit. 

The clean-up crews were working out on the streets- Peter could see them through the huge glass windows, and he sort of wished he could join them, but again, social situations were a bad idea at that point in time. 

Goddamn Loki. Peter really didn’t like that guy. He’d already tried to destroy New York once before- and now here he’d come again, years later, doing nothing more than annoy both Tony and Peter for a couple of hours before disappearing, leaving them both with an irritating truth spell as a parting gift.

Asshole.


Groaning, he flicked the TV on to the news and flopped backward into the couch. It was the usual post-battle breakdown, this time with a woman standing in front of a particularly grim-looking pile of rubble, face sad as she stared into the camera.

“And once more, I am stood amongst what remains of a local supermarket, staring around me and wondering- where are the superheroes now?”

Peter rolled his eyes. Right. So it was one of those news channels. He should really turn it over, it wasn’t going to offer anything worthwhile.

At that moment, there was a hissing noise behind him, and Peter’s head turned, watching Tony as he slipped through the doors and headed to the kitchen. He waved absently in Peter’s direction, but didn’t stop to talk as he padded over to the open-plan kitchen behind Peter.

“You’d think, what with Iron Man’s lesser half being the great Tony Stark, that there’d be some funding going into the rebuild of some of these buildings, but so far, as always, the billionaire has yet to declare-”

“What bullshit,” Peter muttered, turning back to the screen and staring in disdain. Everyone knew how much Tony put in- he’d been cleaning up after the Avengers since the Battle of New York. “Who the hell do these people think they are?”

It wasn’t directed at Tony, but he must have heard it, because Peter heard the man clearing his throat to begin talking, “they’re reporters, Peter, and I’m just the target. I’m easy. They need something to base their stories on.”

Peter stopped, face scrunching up incredulously, “but you do so much for them! You fought for them in the Superhero Civil War! Why would they-”

God, he really had to work on keeping his conversations question free.

“Because no-one cares about the guy behind the IronMan faceplate, kiddo,” he said with a shrug, and then scowled, “God, Peter, you really don’t have a filter, do y-”

“I care,” Peter said indignantly, turning around fully now, back to the couch as he stared across the room and over to Tony, who was staring at him with slightly raised eyebrows.

It didn’t last long, though. Tony’s face fell a little, and he shook his head. “Right. Sure. Just… just turn the channel over, Peter-”

“Wait, do you think I’m ly- no, no, wait, sorry, you don’t have to answer-”

But Tony was already going off, mug clutched tightly between tired fingers as he glared mutinously at Peter, “of course you don’t, kid, you like me because I’m cool and I get you fancy gear, but you don’t…not really. I’m not an easy one to care for- you know that. Why do you think everyone’s left? Once the defects in my personality start outweighing the pros of my money or my influence, it stops being so fun.”


There was dead silence, where Tony just looked over at Peter, mouth hanging open in mortification. Peter was staring at him, completely shocked by what he’d just heard.

Did Tony really think….


“Jesus,” the man muttered for the billionth time, swallowing heavily and turning away, thrusting his cup back on the sideboard, “okay, well, good talk, let’s never do that again-”

And then he was speedwalking out, leaving Peter sat, stunned, on the couch, emotions growing in his stomach until he felt like he might explode with them.


What the hell? What the goddamn hell-


He jumped off the couch angrily, storming after Tony, who’d almost made it to the stairs down the corridor by that point. “HEY!” He yelled at the rapidly moving body ahead of him, and Tony jerked a little, stopping in his tracks to look over at Peter in surprise. The tone of voice, the anger in it, probably came as a bit of a shock to him.
It sort of came as a surprise to Peter too, to be honest, 

“What the hell?” Peter asked incredulously, flinging his hand out, “what the hell did you just say? Did you just try and tell me you don’t think I don’t care?”

“Peter, stop asking-”

“Tony, you’re so stupid! Why do you think I like hanging out at the tower so much- and no, not just the workshop, the kitchen and the living room and the gym, why do you think I do that?”

“Well, I mean, I’d guess it was just so you could-”

“Why do you think I call you when I get into trouble, or always ask you for advice, or how I text you after every scuffle I get into because I know that you worry if I don’t, I know it Tony-”

“I- I, well, I mean I just kind of assumed you were being polite? I-”

Peter choked, lip curling in exasperation. “Tony. You are a walking disaster and you worry stupid amounts about me, and you don’t understand boundaries very well and you can annoy the damn hell out of me- and you’re always, always there for me when I need you. You matter to me, Tony, for God’s sake, you’re the closest thing I’ve got to a dad. Since I met you I feel like I’ve got someone else I can rely on, which is a pretty fucking big deal to me, because all I had before was Aunt May, and I love her to pieces but it was difficult for the both of us - so don’t you dare try and tell me I don’t care, because it just makes you sound like a fucking asshole.”


Peter breathed deep, clenching his jaw and dropping the finger that had risen to point accusingly over at Tony, who was stood rigidly a few feet in front of him. His eyes were blown wide, mouth hanging open a little, and his eyebrows were almost at his hairline, they were raised that high.

No one said anything. Peter sighed, feeling the anger leaving him as suddenly as it had come. He just felt tired. Truth spells weren’t as fun as he’d previously imagined.

Tony was still staring a little incredulously, and then he jerked. A full-body spasm, like he couldn’t quite compute what he’d just heard. Peter just shook his head. “Sorry. Know you didn’t want me to ask you questions. I’ll just… yeah,” he gestured behind him and then turned away, heading back over to the living room with heavy feet.


A few seconds, later, there was the quiet hissing of the door as it shut behind Tony.



“Ask me why I said it,” Tony entered the room with a few hours later, and Peter turned, watching him march up to Peter and fold his arms stubbornly.


Peter stopped, frowning, before he realised what Tony was talking about and tensed up. “Tony, just let it g-”

“Just ask me, Peter, dammit,” Tony said again, loud and a little jerky, like he wasn’t quite sure of how to hold himself, but was giving it his best shot anyway.

Peter bit his lip. He didn’t want to drag this out any further than it needed to be- 

“Peter,” Tony said, a little gentler this time, and Peter knew him well enough to know that there was an eye-roll he was trying to hold back on committing to as he looked down toward the couch, “can you let me explain myself? Please?”

Silence, again. Peter folded his arms. Tony mirrored him. 

They stared stubbornly at one another.


“Why did you say it?” Peter asked, quieter than he’d intended.


Tony clenched his jaw, and then with a little spasm, he opened his mouth. “I haven’t known a lot of people who’ve been genuine with their affection before. I’m an asshole and I push people away a lot because I don’t want them to hurt me. But…I can’t afford to push you away, or be too much of an asshole to you, because you’re a kid and you need me. So I’m just waiting for you to lose interest, instead. I can’t get rid of that sort of thought-process, but I am trying. Therapy and everything, it’s fucking gross, but… you need someone reliable. I need to be better. For you. Because- I - uh, I mean….”

Tony broke off, running a hand through his hair and huffing in a mixture of annoyance and embarrassment.  “You matter to me too. A lot. Uh- and I know Aunt May is your proper guardian and everything, but- but… well, I- uhm, I still consider you my own. Kid. Yeah. So…”


Tony shifted backward and forward on his feet, and he was actually blushing in embarrassment, which was a first. Peter just stared, a little shellshocked. He hadn’t been quite sure what he’d been expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that.

“Right,” Tony choked out, nodding robotically and then taking a step back, “that was entertaining, shall we both just agree to never talk to one another ever again-”

He turned on his heel, doing his little speedwalk thing toward the elevator as Peter stared at his back. 

“Wait,” he blurted from the couch, getting unsteadily to his feet and then vaulting the couch, stumbling toward Tony, who had turned a little to face him.


Running up to him, Peter wrapped his arms around Tony’s shoulders and hugged. Tight. Tony stumbled a bit, and his hands wavered about in the air for a few seconds before settling lightly on Peter’s shoulder blades. “Right. Cool. Okay, hugs, then. That’s good. Healthy. Or so I’ve heard, anyway-”

“Thank you,” Peter said, breaking through the nervous ramble and squeezing Tony’s shoulders tightly, “that must have been hard.”

Tony shrugged “Eh, truth spell, you know-”

“Tony,” Peter rolled his eyes, letting go and pulling away so Tony could see it, “you really think I wasn’t counting down? The spell ended 15 minutes ago.”

Tony raised his eyebrows, and he pulled a face. “Shut up, it’s called being emotionally healthy.”

“If you think that’s emotionally healthy, you need a new therapist.”

Tony shoved him off with a muttered swear, and Peter laughed. “Are you going to come out of your workshop now?”

“No.”

“Can I come into your workshop?”

“No.”

“I’ll go get my shoes,” Peter said with a smile, patting Tony on the shoulder, “can you get the specs up for my suit? I have a few things I think might need tweaking.”

Tony sighed. “You’re a spoilt brat!” he called out as Peter turned back and went for the shoes that were strewn across the living room, but he pulled out his phone and started tapping at it as he turned back in the direction of the workshop, and Peter knew that the rest of the evening would pass as they worked on his suit.


He could think of worse ways to spend his weekend.

Till Death Do Us Part

Bucky Barnes X reader X Steve Rogers

Summary- In a world where everyone is born with the name of their soulmate-or soulmates- on their wrist the reader has the horrible fate of being bound to two dead soldiers. That is until she sees Captain America fighting in New York. Does she run from her destined love or does she go to him?

Message- This is a soulmate AU! My first one!! This is part one, I will make a part two at some point!! Sorry if it sucks!!!

Word Count- 1374

In a world where everyone’s soulmate (or soulmates) was written on their wrist there were bound to be a few errors. You were one of those errors. You had two names written on your wrists- something upon hearing made a lot of people jealous. That jealousy only lasted until they read the names, then it turned to pity. They pitied you because your two soulmates died in the 1940’s. They were the famous Steve Grant Rogers and James Buchanan Barnes, they were Captain America and his most trusted best friend, both sacrificing their lives in the name of freedom. You had resented them for a very long time. You had cursed destiny on many occasions. It had gotten better when you had joined a support group for “errors”-those who were born with a dead soulmate or those who didn’t have a name at all. They didn’t pity you, they were able to understand your bitterness and you were all there for each other. You all learned from each other, you now kept your wrists covered and you would never tell people the names that would mark your skin forever.

****

You had been on a plane with your boss Pepper Potts when your life changed forever. Aliens were currently invading New York City but you couldn’t focus on that because Captain America was on the TV screen.

“I-Is that Steve Rogers?” you whisper.

“Yeah. According to Tony, SHIELD found him and the plane he went down in a couple of weeks ago. He was still alive-obviously.” Pepper answered. “Why do you ask?” She said while eyeing you suspiciously. She watched as your rubbed your fingers over where Steve’s name was. Eventually you tug your sleeve up and show her your mark.

“I-I thought you said you didn’t have a soulmate.”

“I thought he was dead. It was just easier to tell everyone that I didn’t have one.” You whisper. You and Pepper shift closer to each other as the two of you watch your soulmates fight for the world.

****

It had been about a week since the battle. You had been avoiding the tower like the plague. You had come clean to Pepper, showing her your other mark as well. You had cried into her shoulder as you told her how you had hated the two men for so long. How you had always felt a little broken knowing that you would never get to love them like they had loved each other, while they were alive. You tell her how you had grown used to the idea of being alone and now that you knew that you had one of your soulmates out there you were paralyzed in terror. Your phone starts to ring.

“Hello?” you say.

“Y/N, you need to come to the tower. Steve thinks that he lost both of his soulmates. He thinks that you were born during his time and he thinks he’s all alone.” Pepper says.

“I-I’m not ready for that. I’ve been alone my whole life. He can deal with it for a couple months while I get used to the fact that one of my soulmates is alive.” You whisper.

“Please, Y/N. I don’t think I can take it. You don’t need to date the guy right away, just talk to him. Tell him how you feel about everything.” Pepper says.

“Fine, I’ll be over in an hour. I’m probably going to scream at him. So just prepare yourself for that.” You say.

“I can deal with yelling. Bye, Y/N”

“Bye.” What the hell did you just agree to? You were not ready to meet him. You take a deep breath and start to walk to the tower.  New York was destroyed but the clean-up was going surprisingly fast thanks to Tony. Eventually you make it to the tower, you take a deep breath and walk in. Pepper had texted you the floor number that they were on while you had been walking over. You had to take the stairs because the elevator was still out. When you get to the right floor you start to hear voices, one of them was close to hysterics.

“W-we looked before the war, but it was harder then. We couldn’t just look her up on the google. She must have hated us, both of her soulmates abandoned her for the glory of war or maybe she died during the war to. Can we look her up? Is that possible, Tony?” Your heart stops when you realize who you were listening to. Even while sobbing his voice was gorgeous. In that moment all of the hate and resentment you had ever felt towards your two soulmates left your body. You kind of felt lighter, like the hate had been weighing you down. You take a deep breath and open the door.

“Hello, Pepper said I could find Steve here.” You say as you take in the scene. Tony was doing his best to comfort Steve, but it wasn’t really working. Most of the other Avengers where spread throughout the room, eyeing you curiously.

“Who are you?” Natasha asked.

“I’m Peppers assistant. My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N.” As soon as your name left your mouth the room went from curious to chaotic. Steve sobbed a bit.

“Are you named after your grandmother? Was she able find someone to love? Are you here to tell me about m-my soulmate?” Steve asked, while tears rain down his cheeks. He thought you were coming to tell him about his dead soulmate. You don’t really know how to respond so you walk closer to him and then you just take your jacket off and show him your wrists. You can hear his breathing stop as he looks at his name on your left wrist and his other soulmates name on your right. He collapses and lands on his knees. Then he wraps his arms around you and starts to sob even more. You start to run your fingers through his hair.

“Would you guys mind giving us a minute?” You ask the rest of the Avengers. They all nod and start to file out of the room.

“I-I thought I was alone. Buck and me have been looking for you since we were kids. How are you here? How did you f-find me?” You explain everything to him. You tell him about how you had always felt abandoned by them and how you had hated the two of them for so long. “D-do you still hate me?” Steve whispers. You tell him no. Eventually the two of you move to the couch and the two of you sit there for hours, getting to know each other.

****

It has been about 6 months since you met Steve. Things had moved quickly and he was now living with you. The two of you were currently lying in bed, talking about Star Wars.  Steve tells you that Bucky had been really into science and that he would have loved the movies. Eventually the conversation dies down and the two of you cuddle in a comfortable silence.

“Hey, Stevie?” You ask.

“Yeah?”

“Do you ever think that maybe Bucky’s still alive? Maybe he doesn’t remember who he is? You told me that when Hydra captured him they gave him the serum. So maybe he survived the fall and Hydra went looking for him.” You whisper. Steve tenses for a moment and then he starts to think about what you said. He has to admit it makes sense.

“We should start looking for him.” Steve says as tightens his hold on you. Eventually the two of you fall asleep, while thinking of your other soulmate.

Diego, Dachshund (12 y/o), Perry & Greenwich Ave., New York, NY • “He’s destroyed everything –Bottega Veneta, Louboutin, my couch. He had back surgery and he recovered in a day; it still cost me eight grand.”

Eric, 28

“I’m wearing shorts by Comme Des Garçons, a Pikachu shirt from Search and Destroy and shoes from Calvin Klein Collection. My style inspiration ranges from childhood nostalgia to Hackers, the movie to Pokemon trainer to magical school boy. I pull a lot of inspiration from video games in general. I think it’s a way to casually role play and keep my creative imagination flowing on a day to day basis. My favorite brands are Walter Van Beirendonck, Palomo Spain, Davidelfin (Rest in Peace, such a genius with color and “costuming”) and Final Home.”

Aug 19, 2017 ∙ Queens
“Make-A-Wish. Can I help you?”

I want to thank all the wonderful Tumblr-folk I tagged in this for contributing to one of the best reads I’ve had in a while. I would also like to apologize to those whose contributions I might have missed.

———————————————————————————–

I wonder if, in superhero universes, the villains ever get contacted by those “Make a Wish Foundation” and similar people.

I mean, the heroes do. Of course they do. Kids who want to meet Spiderman or Superman or get to be carried by the Flash as he runs through Central City for just thirty seconds.

But surely there are also the kids, who - because they are kids and sometimes kids are just weird - decide that what they really, really want is to meet a supervillain. Because he’s scary or she’s awesome or that freeze ray is just really, really cool, you know?

The heroes would be so weirded out by it. The villains with codes of ethics would totally band together to force the villains without one (should they be the one requested) to do their part for the cause.

But imagine the person who has to track down the villains and organize everything?

Like, the first time it happens, no one actually thinks it’s possible, but one of the newbies volunteers to at least try. They get lucky, the kid wants to meet one of the villains who is well known to have a personal code of ethics (eg one of the rogues), and it takes them weeks to track the villain down to this one bar they’ve been seen at a few times, plus a week of staking out said bar, but they finally find them.

So they approach the villain, very politely introduce themselves and explain the situation, finishing with an assurance that, should the villain agree, no law enforcement or heroes will be informed of the meeting.

The villain, assuming it’s a joke, laughs in their face.

At this point, the poor volunteer, who has giving up weeks of their time and no small amount of effort to track down this villain, all so a sweet little girl can meet the person who somehow inspired them, well, at this point the employee sees red.

They explode, yelling at this villain about the little girl who, for some unknown reason, absolutely loved them, had a hand-made stuffed toy of them and was inspired by their struggle to keeping fighting her own and wasn’t the villain supposed to have ethics? The entire bar is witness to this big bad villain getting scolded by some bookish nobody a foot shorter than them.

When the volunteer is done, the villain calmly knocks back their drink, grips the volunteers shoulder and drags them outside. The bar’s patrons assume that person will never be seen again, the volunteer included. But once they’re outside, the villain apologizes for their assumption, asks for the kid’s details so they can drop by in the near future, not saying when for obvious reasons. They also give the very relieved volunteer a phone number to call if someone asks for them again.

A week later, the little girl’s room is covered in villain merchandise, several expensive and clearly stolen gifts and she is happily clutching a stack of signed Polaroids of her and the villain.

The next time a kid asks to meet a villain, guess who gets that assignment?

Turns out, the first villain was quite touched by the experience of meeting their little fan, and word has gotten around. The second villain happily agrees when they realize it’s the same volunteer who asked the other guy. Unfortunately, one of the heroes sees the villain entering the kid’s hospital and obviously assumes the worst. They rush in, ready to drag the villain out, but the volunteer stands in their way. The hero spends five minutes getting scolded for trying to stop the villain from actually doing a good thing and almost ruining the kid’s wish. The volunteer gets a reputation among villains as someone who can not only be trusted with personal contact numbers but who will do everything they can to keep law enforcement away during their visits.

The volunteer has a phonebook written in cypher of all the villain’s phone numbers, with asterixes next to the ones to call if any other villains give them trouble.

Around the office, they gain the unofficial job title of The Villain Wrangler.

The heroes are genuinely flabbergasted by The Villain Wrangler. At first, some of the heroes try to reason with them.

Heroes: “Can’t you, just, give us their contact details? They’ll never even have to know it was you.”

The Villain Wrangler: “Yeah sure, <rollseyes> because all these evil geniuses could never possibly figure out that it’s me who happens to be the common thread in the sudden mass arrests. Look man, even if it wouldn’t get me killed, it would disappoint the kids. You wouldn’t want to disappoint the kids would you?”

Heroes: “… no~ but…”

The Villain Wrangler: “Exactly.”

Eventually, one of the anti-hero types gets frustrated, and decides to take a stand. They kidnap the Villain Wrangler and demand that they give up the contents of the little black book of Villains, or suffer the consequences. It’s For the Greater Good, the anti-hero insists as they tie the Villain Wrangler to a pillar.

The Villain Wrangler: “You complete idiot, put me back before someone figures out that I’m missing.”

Anti-hero: “…excuse me?”

The Villain Wrangler: “Ugh, do I have to spell this out for you? Do you actually want your secret base to be wiped off the map? With us in it? Sugarsticks, how long has it been? If they get suspicious, they check in, and then if I miss a check-in, they tend to come barging into wherever I am just to prove that they can, even if they figure out that they’re not being threatened by proxy. Suffice to say, Auntie Muriel really regretted throwing my phone into the pool when she strenuously objected to me answering it during family time. If they think for even one moment that I’ve given them up, they won’t hesitate to obliterate both of us from their potential misery. You do know some of the people in my book have like missiles and djinni and elemental forces at their disposal, right?”

Anti-hero: “Wait, what? I thought they trusted you?!”

The Villain Wrangler: “Trust is such a strong word!”

Villain: “Indeed.”

Anti-hero: “Wait, wha-” <slumps over, dart sticking out of neck>

The Villain Wrangler: “Thanks. I thought they were going to hurt me.”

Villain: “You did well. You kept them distracted, and gave us time to follow your signal.” <cuts Villain Wrangler free>

The Villain Wrangler: <rubbing circulation back into limbs> “Yeah well, you know me; I do whatever I have to. So I’ll see you Wednesday at four at St Martha’s? I’ve got an 8yo burns unit patient recovering from her latest batch of skin grafts who could really use a pep talk.”

Villain: “… of course. Yes… I… yes.”

The Villain Wrangler: “I just think you could really reach her, you know?”

Villain: <unconsciously runs fingers over mask> “I… yes, but, what should I say?”

The Villain Wrangler: “Whatever advice you think you could have used the most just after.”

Villain: <hoists Anti-hero over shoulder almost absently> “….yes.”

The Villain Wrangler wasn’t lying to the Anti-hero. They know that the more ruthless villains would not hesitate if they thought for one second that the Anti-hero would betray them.

But this is not the first time the Villain Wrangler has gone to extreme lengths to protect their identities.

Trust is a strong word. The Villain Wrangler earned it, and is terrified by what it could mean.

My first official Deadpool headcanon is this. This this this.

Okay but this whole concept actually makes a lot of sense, because villains are a lot more likely to be disfigured/disabled/use adaptive devices (bc ableist tropes), so of course, say, a child amputee is going to be more interested in the villain with a robot arm who almost destroyed New York than the heroes that took him down.

Also, imagine one of the kids gets better, and a few years down the line becomes a villain themselves, except their crimes are things like smuggling chemo drugs across the border for families that can’t afford treatment, or stealing from corrupt businessmen to make donations to underfunded hospitals (idk this turned into a Leverage AU or something) and every time the heroes encounter her, they’re like “oh no. she’s getting away. Curses. Welp, nothing we can do.” Though it isn’t that she can’t take them on; bc of course once the villain from way back when found out what she was up to, he started helping/training her.

“I thought they just hired someone to dress up and pretend to be you,” she says, amazed, when he reveals himself. “I didn’t think they actually got the real you!”

Every year the Villain Wrangler gets a very expensive gift basket from the pair.

And for the kids who don’t get better the villains are there too, they show up to every funeral, they bear too small coffins on their shoulders and the heroes stand aside

They are fierce with grieving families assuring them that their child will not be forgotten, and they don’t balk at negative emotions, they don’t tell people to be strong or “celebrate their child’s life,” because these parents have every right to their grief and anger

And the lost children are never forgotten. Flowers appear on graves during birthdays and anniversaries, heroes find pictures of those kids and they carefully take them down and ensure they’re delivered to the villain’s cell, and a few villains can be seen with friendship bracelets wrapped around their wrists the cops have learned not to try and take them off

They are fierce with grieving families assuring them that their child will not be forgotten, and they don’t balk at negative emotions, they don’t tell people to be strong or “celebrate their child’s life,” because these parents have every right to their grief and anger

And then one day, one of the evil geniuses who happens to specialize in inducing bizarre genetic mutations meets a young fan who was born with a rare genetic disorder that is slowly killing them, and realizes that they can help.

Another, who created their own exosuit, talks to a young fan and suddenly understands how much the technology that they have built for themselves could revolutionize quality of life for people with muscular dystrophy, or paraplegia, or other disorders that confine people to wheelchairs with little mobility.

A third thinks of a way that their nanobots could be used to detect and remove cancer cells when their fan, who had been in remission, writes to say that the doctors have found a new metastasizing tumour.

Then shortly after, an evil genius specializing in cloning is contacted by an old colleague asking if a suitable heart couldn’t be grown for their young fan with a congenital heart condition who needs a donor.

Suddenly, a pattern of villains offering (and marketing) their insights and resources to improve medical science starts to arise. Many who had previously been operating on society’s fringes are shocked to receive public accolades, research grants and job offers from major companies because of their work.

A grassroots movement arises advocating for imprisoned villains with appropriate qualifications and/or experience to have access to resources to conduct research for the public good. The Second Chance Rehabilitation Project launches.

(It is an open secret that only people who have been vetted by the Villain Wrangler are allowed to join, because the Villain Wrangler has by now a meticulously set up method and intelligence network to run background checks and character references through ensure that none of the children wishing to meet their role models get hurt.)

This is all soooo good, but I wonder what effect this has on the villains. Like, can they really wreak indiscriminate havoc when they know the kids that worship them might be in the area? Like, what if they attack a shopping mall and it just so happens that Annie’s mom ran in for a pair of shoes or something? What then?

So what you’re saying is that there is now an organization of henchmen who do round the clock, exhaustive research in order to make sure the villain’s plan isn’t going to ruin the life of some kid. Just imagine some aunt getting a call from an unlisted number.

“I swear I am not a bill collector ma’am. It’s just. Well. Ok and I swear I am not a stalker even if this is actually going to be a very creepy phone call, but you said you were going to the mall at four? Is it possible you could reschedule or postpone that trip for about an hour? That mall is way too close to…well. It just wouldn’t be safe. I could wire you some money, and you could go to the much nicer mall one town over? Would that work for you? No? You are calling the police? Yes. Yes that is the sensible thing to do. Definitely do that. You have a nice day, ma’am. Tell Marcus Doctor Evil says hello and to have a nice day.”

And then the poor minion has to call the villain and explain why robbing X bank isn’t a good idea that day.

“Yes. Hello. Sir? Oh good I caught you before you left the base. Look, Marcus Smithson’s aunt is going to be near the blast radius for that job you have scheduled so-yes. Yes I am aware that rescheduling is going to be a lot of work since most everything is already set up, but….but, sir think about poor Marcus! She’s his favorite aunt, and the woman refused to ‘reorder her life around some crazy mastermind’. ……no…..no, please do not kidnap the aunt, sir. It’s terribly rude. Yes I realize you weren’t going to keep her or doing anything other than drop her off at an alternative location, but, well, citizens frown upon that sort of thing and….yes….Yes, of course. You have a good day, too, sir.”

And they turn to their coworker and are just like “So if I don’t come in to work tomorrow it’s because Doctor Evil threw me in his dungeon and/or sent his hellhounds to maul me. Please remember to send help.

But but but… what happens when one falls through the cracks? When Lord Dominion or whatever does a typical baddie thing but then Penny’s new best friend gets caught up in the damage and Lord D didn’t even KNOW Penny had a new bestie so how was he to know? But now the kid is devastated and it’s all his fault? I mean, how does that even shake out?

Penny SWEARS REVENGE! Lord D is distraught but also somewhat proud. He sends Penny a very sincere apology and also a bunch of tips on how to execute a proper vengeance plot, in case she decides not to accept the apology. He sends henchmen to spy on her, and he keeps the surveillance photos of her sitting in her room, plans and schematics strewn all over her desk. He puts them in his wallet and brags to all his villain friends that one of his kids is taking up scheming, look at her go, she’s already started on pattern analysis of his latest heists. He’s so proud. Later this month he’ll show up on her way home from school so she can have her first Confrontation.

There will inevitably be mistakes and tragedies.

Penny is an intelligent kid. She catches on to the spying henchmen pretty quick and bribes some of them to her side with snacks. That first confrontation does not go like Lord Dominion expected because Penny has minions (minions that are using his OWN WEAPONS against him, even)

Lord Dominion is the proudest villain ever, even if he did almost lose an ear thanks to the impeccable aim of a nine year old with a grudge. He does let the laser blast graze him just so he can have a scar to show people because that girl is a villain after his own heart.

He doesn’t want to ask his villain rivals to help her out because that would imply he doesn’t think she’s capable of eventually growing strong enough to kick his ass. Turns out Penny already thought of that and has mailed letters asking for advice to Lady Sinister, Lord Dominion’s long time, mostly friendly rival. (She mailed a letter to Lord D’s arch nemesis, but man. Heroes are always trying to make you do The Right Thing. Penny doesn’t have time for the high road. Plus, the low road has lasers.)

Lady Sinister thinks Penny is the best thing ever and while she has mostly stopped kicking Lord D’s ass, she still breaks into his hideout to sit in his favorite chair with a glass of wine and brags about her new favorite up and coming villainess. (She doesn’t warn Lord D about the attack rabbits she agreed to train for Penny as a favor, and for obvious reasons, she is going to be a bystander at the next confrontation, filming everything on her phone to post the dark web so all their villain friends can see this)Being able to say that one is involved with the Project begins to look really good in parole hearings. The Villains involved perform their own quality checks on one another, because if one of their kids got hurt, then all of their kids could potentially lose out, and the ones that are serious about the Project are not having that. (Also, the ability to collaborate with other geniuses is the most interesting thing to happen to most of them since losing to various heroes, and most consider the intellectual stimulation to be worth putting up with the ridiculous egos and inevitable personality clashes that arise.)

Reformed Villains come out of the woodwork to advocate about better mental healthcare, and support systems. Savvy universities and private labs quietly take their advice, setting up better mental health supports and laboratory safety standards to prevent the Brain Drain caused by losing their less stable scientists to the Costumes.

The Villain Wrangler watches all of this develop with a smile.

Their plan succeeded beyond their wildest dreams.

I’m so down for these posts that assume the best of people instead of the worst

Okay, this part caught my attention: “…the Villain Wrangler has by now a meticulously set up method and intelligence network…to ensure that none of the children…gets hurt.” Which led me to the heartbreaking realization that one DID. Get hurt, that is, by the villain they idolized.

And all I can think is that the Villain Wrangler didn’t call in the heroes. They didn’t call in another heart-of-gold villain. No. The VW rolled up their sleeves and went after this person themselves. This project is their baby, after all. If they get the accolades for the successes, they must also shoulder the burden of the failures.

The VW hunts down the villain that crossed the line. Their punishment is swift and horrifying; no hero would have the stomach to mete out justice in such a way, and no villain would have the desire to get quite that much blood on their own hands.

There’s. So. Much. Blood.

The Villain Wrangler never forgets. They increase security, increase the hours and background checks, they increase the graveside visits to the child they failed.

Just the one. But one is one too many.

The Villain Wrangler is no kid. She doesn’t find these people by chance. She doesn’t know how to put the fear of god into supervillains with a few sharp words out of chance.

The Villain Wrangler is in her 40s, and she’s an experienced nurse.  She works at the biggest Level 1 trauma center in (NYC/Chicago/Metropolis/Gotham) and she gets her first few villains because she’d met them at the hospital during their origin story. She treated some of them when they came in with their disfigurement. She sat with the genius while his wife died of her illness and they were powerless to save her. She kept in touch with them on Tumblr and Facebook and Twitter and recognized their personal touches when a new supervillain emerged.

And she didn’t say anything because nobody would believe her, because she’d be just another crackpot conspiracy theorist, and because it would break her oath, it would break doctor-patient confidentiality.

But when she decided to start volunteering at the attached children’s hospital’s Make-a-Wish program, she recognized who that child wanted to see.  She knew how to reach him.  She PM’d him to arrange a meeting and reveal that she knew who his other identity was. And for all his bluster, he knew that he owed her this.

And some other supervillains were brought in the same way.  The nurses knew who’d gone through trauma, they recognized their patients and their patents’ loved ones and when a child called out for one of them, they’d find that supervillain.

The nurses are the lynchpin.

The Mysterious Girl (Loki Laufeyson x Reader)

Request: Hi can a request a fluffy Loki x reader fic where the reader is in a situation where she cannot talk often (maybe her voice causes glass to crack and shatter and people to fall unconscious) instead she uses actions to convey her feelings. when Loki arrives with his brother for redemption he tries to get her to talk by annoying her to no avail. They’re alone one time and the reader snaps telling him to stop; he falls unconscious and she cares for him until he comes to. Please and thank you!!

Requested By: Anonymous

Word Count: 1, 988

Warnings: None (I think)

A/N: First Loki imagine, wooo! I hope you all enjoy, especially all you Loki fans out there. It was a refreshing change to write about him, so I’m glad I got the chance! If you would like to be added to my Tag List for all future updates, just let me know! FYI, (Y/E/C) means ‘your eye color.’ Enjoy!

Tag List: @mp938368 @gcneral-organa @thatgirlsar @jumperswellies @quicksoldier @kitkatgaming @marvelfandom-stuff @itsmaytimetosaygoodbye @agentraven007 @marvelgoateecollection @thaniya82

MASTERLIST

Originally posted by avengers-of-mirkwood

Loki was not happy. Not happy at all. Why wasn’t he happy? Because he was on Midguard. And what was wrong with being on Midguard? Thor, his brother was there. And he was stuck with him.

“Brother, do not worry. I’m sure that my comrades will not hate you. That much,” Thor comforted, slapping his brother on the back.

Stumbling forward, Loki looked back at his brother and scowled. “Oh, yes. I’m sure those mortals just love me after all that I did.”

Sighing, Thor looked at his brother. “You knew not what you were doing. Besides, you are repentant.”

“Am I?” Loki sassed back, earning a disapproving look from the ‘better’ sibling.

“Well, you will be. At least once they are through with you.”

Rolling his eyes, Loki trudged along beside his brother, looking up at the building. Sure, it was impressive for Midguard standards, but not for Asgard. If that was even his home anymore.

“Welcome, to the Avengers,” Thor announced, pushing open the glass doors with ease.

This will be just great, Loki thought to himself as he followed his oaf of a brother inside.


Well, could be going a lot worse, Loki thought as his brother’s teammates glared down at him.

“Why do we have to keep him here again?” Clint asked through gritted teeth, glaring at Loki. Hand tight on his bow, he never removed his eyes from the god.

“Look, I’m not excited about reindeer games being here either,” Tony grumbled.

“But there is no other option, apparently,” Nat finished the sentence, remembering all too well what she had to do to her best friend to get him out of his head.

“He is my brother,” Thor started, looking them all down. “You will be courteous to him, even if he is deserving of your hatred and spite.”

“He destroyed New York with an alien army,” Steve said, glaring at Loki.

“And tried to take over the world,” Bruce added.

“He’s adopted,” Thor said sheepishly, to which Loki rolled his eyes. Bored, Loki began to look over his foes- allies. Most of them Loki remembered. Some, were new. Like the man with the metal arm, the red man, the girl with glowing-red eyes, and many more. As Loki skimmed over his subjects- friends, his eyes landed on one girl in particular. She was odd, but not in the bad sense. She was odd in the sense that she was quiet, odd in the sense that she distanced herself from others. Curious, Loki continued to look at her, until she noticed and began blushing prominently. Her eyes darted towards Clint, and he saw immediately.

“You stay away from her,” Clint almost growled, moving in front of the odd girl. Loki did not care though. He was intrigued by this girl and wanted to know more. Wanted to know what she liked and disliked, why she was here. One way or another, Loki was going to know that girl.


Two months have passed since Loki arrived at the Avengers compound, and things were a little better. The others were talking to him now, and Loki wasn’t sure if he liked it or not. The company was nice from time to time, when they weren’t glaring at him. Loki always brushed them off though. Some people just don’t understand that he had changed.

Mainly, for her.

Loki had tried everything to talk to the girl. Anytime that he nearly got close to even saying hello, the mother hen swooped in between them.

“No way,” Clint growled one day, standing in front of the girl once more.

“I just want to talk to her, I’m not bad anymore,” Loki had pleaded.

Laughing, Clint shook his head. “Yeah. I’ll believe it when I see it. And good luck talking to her anyway, she-”

But before the mother hen could even finish his sentence, the girl had tapped on his shoulder. The girl had obviously communicated to the arrow man, Loki just did not understand how. She didn’t move her lips, but rather her hands. When Loki first saw this, he thought she was doing magic.

“Are you a sorceress?” Loki had asked in amazement, to which Clint glared him down, offended.

“Out.” He demanded, and Loki quickly made his way out, not wanting to find out what would happen to him if mother hen got any angrier.

So Loki’s quest to talk to the mysterious girl continued, always trying to get close to her. Over the two months that he had been there, he had learned three things about the beautiful and mysterious girl:

1) She did not like mornings. Her face scrunched up in the cutest of ways whenever she was woken up before 9 a.m.

2) Her favorite color was green, or so Loki assumed. She always wore some article of green, whether it be the oversized green sweatshirt she stole from the man with the metal arm or her green shoes, which she wore everywhere. 

3) She loved movies, more than life itself apparently. Whenever Loki was looking for her to talk to her (before mother hen showed up), she was sitting in the room with the screen, a different movie on it each time he saw her. Some days it would be little cartoons dancing and singing across the screen, others it would be miniature people falling in love. Without fail though, Loki noticed that every Friday night she watched the same movie, over and over. One with a half fish-half human hybrid and her colorful fish friends.

With each new little tidbit of information about the girl, Loki grew more and more interested. Loki not only thought about her all day, but even dreamed about being able to talk to the beautiful girl, face to face. Just when Loki was about to give up on all hope of ever speaking to the girl, a bit of luck was finally in Loki’s favor.

The heroic team was heading off on a mission, one where they needed almost every member, except for the mysterious girl. Loki, jumping at the opportunity to speak with her, helped pack everyone’s bags that night. To the team, he seemed just a bit too happy.

“Are you sure we can leave him here, Thor?” Steve had asked, glancing at Loki.

“Believe it or not, he is acting a lot better,” Thor commented as he put everyone’s luggage onto the quinjet.

“Yes, but he will be here all alone,” Tony added. The girl, apparently did not like that for she stomped her foot in defiance.

Thor had saw her little foot stomp and smiled. “He will not be alone, (Y/N) will be here.”

Aha! Her name! Loki thought, adding another piece to the puzzle.

Laughing, Clint put his supplies in the quinjet. “Yeah, if anyone can handle him, it's  (Y/N).”

This seemed to have made (Y/N) happy, for she nodded her head in triumph.

“I’ll be good,” Loki started, causing everyone to look at him. “Promise.”

“We shall see, brother,” Thor said, clapping his hand on his brother’s shoulder, causing Loki to lose his footing for a moment. “If not, well, you’ll be in for a shock. (Y/N), take care of him for me. Don’t let him get into too much mischief.”

(Y/N) smiled and nodded at Thor, waving the team goodbye.

“That’s no fair,” Loki grumbled to himself. “I’m the god of mischief. It’s literally what I do.”


As soon as the quinjet had disappeared over the horizon, (Y/N) had went back into the compound. Not wanting to lose her in the maze of halls and corridors, Loki followed right after her.

“So,” Loki started, falling into step with her. “Just you and me.”

All she did was quirk up an eyebrow at him before continuing on her way.

“Right. Silent treatment. Well, that has never stopped me before,” Loki continued as he followed her into the room with the screen. Lighting up at the opportunity, Loki walked over to the shelves full of discs.

“Shall we watch one?” Loki asked, digging through the movies. “I’ve never actually seen one of these ‘movies.’ What do you recommend?”

He was met with silence. Smile faltering a bit, because literally the girl of his dreams would not talk to him, he turned back to the shelf. Finding something somewhat familiar, Loki held out the case to her. “How about this?”

Looking back, her whole face lit up and she nodded enthusiastically, causing Loki to smile. “Okay,” Loki said, looking at the title before putting the disc into the strange contraption. “The Little Mermaid it is.”

Moving towards the couch, Loki sat down next to her. Trying to control his breathing, he constantly found himself looking at (Y/N) throughout the movie, committing every detail of her to memory. Loki did this so often that he ended up missing the movie.

“Wait, why is the fish-girl having problems with her father?” Loki asked. No answer.

“Why is the crab singing to her? Life is not better down where it’s wetter. You’re wet all the time. Plus there are sharks, nasty little creatures. Worst than bildshnipe, I hear. Or at least Thor tells me.” No answer.

“OH NO, A SHARK!” No answer.

“Don’t go near the evil squid lady. Why would you go near the evil squid lady?” No answer.

All this time, (Y/N) never answered. She did seem to be getting more and more annoyed, though.

“Wait, why does she need to kiss the Prince? To get her voice back? That is highly unlikely, magic does not work like-”

“WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP ALREADY?!” The girl shouted. A ringing noise sounded through the room, and before Loki even knew it, he was out cold.


Blinking away the black spots in his vision, Loki was met with a pounding headache. Staring up at the ceiling, Loki started to feel alarmed until he felt something moving through his hair. Looking around, Loki was soon met with the most beautiful pair of (Y/E/C) eyes he had ever seen. What made them even more beautiful was that they were your eyes.

“What happened?” Loki groaned, trying to sit up. He was soon pushed back down by (Y/N) so that his head lay on her lap. She held up a finger as if to say ‘one moment’ and grabbed the nearest notebook and pen she could find. Sprawling out her message with one hand and combing through his hair with the other, she finally had written out her message:

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to knock you out. I’m an enhanced and my voice knocks people out, especially when I yell. I didn’t mean to make you pass out.’

Reading the message, Loki began to smile. “It’s alright, Love. You didn’t mean to. I’m just glad that we are finally communicating.”

Blushing at his words, she began to write out another message.

‘I get that, now. I mean, who talks during a movie?’

It was Loki’s turn to blush now as he read your note. “Sorry, I am not familiar with proper movie etiquette. But I’d love to learn.”

Smiling, she wrote down her next message.

'I’d love to teach you, if you gave me a chance. Then you can ask all the questions you want, whether about me or the movie.’

“Sounds absolutely, perfect, Love,” Loki said with a smile. The pounding in his head had finally stopped, and Loki was able to sit up now, but he didn’t want to leave her gentle caresses just yet.

'Can you sit back up yet?’ She wrote out, quirking another eyebrow up at him.

“No,” Loki lied. “Not yet. Still hurts.” She nodded at his answer and continued to card her fingers through his black hair, leaving Loki in a bliss. Well, he was the god of mischief, after all. What else was he going to do, except lie a little to stay with the girl of his dreams?

| Jumble | Peter Parker

this is literally just a crack fic, fair warning

*Soulmate Au - the first words your soulmate speaks to you on your body

[permanent + peter parker tag] : @osterfield-haz


You hated this city.

Quite so, you thought as you ducked for cover underneath the table, just in time for the door to explode open.

“Always something,” you muttered angrily, ignoring the screams of distress as you rubbed the irritated skin around a wound on your calf. “Always something happening in this place.”

From that whole spectacle with the Avengers down the road quite a bit ago, to that psychopath lizard on the news, to aliens destroying New York City a few blocks down. At the moment Midtown High was now being held hostage by some furious mutant - furious of what you didn’t know, you had tuned out his villainous monologue - who was going around exploding doors and shoving people against the walls, demanding to know where Spiderman was or he’d blow up the entire building.

You had no idea what he was going on about - you could barely even hear your own thoughts over the pathetic crying of that cheerleader in the corner - and just hoped that the whole fiasco would be over before something major happened. Why would Spiderboy or Spiderman or whatever be here anyway? 

You suppose you didn’t have to think much longer when the spider himself, tight spandex and all, swung in through the window, kicking the villain into the hallway. 

Another scream from the cheerleader.

“God help me,” You groaned, checking your foot to see if you sprained it as your classmates panicked, some calling 911, others having a breakdown. You swore you saw one kid piss himself. Literally.

The mutant - glowing eyes, ugly teeth - burst through the wall back into the classroom, crashing into desks, concrete flying everywhere. Spiderman followed closely after, dodging attacks, dancing around the small space with fluid motions like he was made to. 

While that was happening, your classmates had bravely started running away through the now obvious hole in the wall (you forgot to mention, the exploded door had caved in earlier), all herding out like a pack of wild animals. You were about to follow their example and abscond the hell out of this situation, when a shout echoed behind you. 

You shouldn’t have looked.

You really shouldn’t have. You should have legged it out. 

But you did, and when you turned, you saw the mutant on-top of the friendly neighbourhood vigilante, mouth opened, teeth growing into long, sharp points to promptly bite his head off.

Three things happened at once.

First, your oh so heroic self screamed loudly, stepped back, and tripped on a piece of stray shrapnel.

Secondly, the noise distracted the mutant, giving the other mutant - the spider one you were rooting for to be exact - an opportunity to get loose and switch the position.

Thirdly, Man Spider (what was his name again-?) webbed his opponent’s hands to the floor, and turned his head in your direction, voice a weird mixture of tones into an accent you didn’t recognize, but for some reason felt familiar with. 

“Cow! Throw the cow! Beside you!”

You had a moment of alarmed confusion, before it clicked and the adrenaline rushed in. You reached for the laptop with the cow-printed cover on the floor next to you, vaguely distracted by the sudden burning on your wrist where your mark was - looks like your soulmate was an egotistical crime fighting spider, great - and threw it with as much force as you could muster.

Spiderman slew a web, swinging the object out of the air and catching it, just in time for Mr. Sharp Teeth to break out of his bonds. He pounced and Spiderman turned swiftly, lifting the laptop up and using the momentum to smack it right into his head with a horrifying thump.

Everything was still for a moment, and then the mutant crumpled to the floor. 

Spiderman relaxed but if anything you only freaked out. Just how strong was he?!

“Thank god,” Spiderman breathed, his voice still itching at a memory in the back of your mind. You took a noticeable step away from him and he didn’t have to read your expression to know that you weren’t amused. “Oh! Hi, yes, are you okay - you’re bleeding, that’s, uh, that’s bad.”

When you didn’t respond he followed your incredulous gaze to the criminal at his feet. You could hear the police sirens in the distance.

“Oh him? Don’t worry, he’s just unconscious-” He waved the laptop - the dented laptop, jesus christ- “- He’ll be fine. Probably. I think.”

When you still only stared blankly, he flexed his fingers, shifting nervously like he hadn’t just knocked a man unconscious. “Right, so the police should be here soon so you’ll be returned to your family-” The laptop broke in his hands. “-Shoot uh, woops-”

Your first thought was that your soulmate was an idiot. 

Your second thought was that you might as well get this over with.

“Look you’re nice and all,” You interrupted. “But you’re not Peter Parker, and he kind of already owns my heart at the moment.” 

There was silence.

The sirens grew louder, signalling that the fuzz would be upon the scene soon.

Then laughter rang throughout the room.

It was hysterical, wrung with disbelief as the masked hero doubled over on himself, holding his stomach.

You raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know what’s going on here, but normally someone wouldn’t laugh after getting rejected by their soulmate. Do you need help or…?”

Spiderman giggled some more then took in a deep, muffled breath. You blinked and he was ripping the mask off, tufts of brown hair sticking to his forehe-

You have got to be kidding me.

Peter was still laughing, to the point where tears were wetting his cheeks. 

“Do you know what you did to me?” He asked, dropping the fake accent he had been using, and you suddenly knew exactly why it had been bothering you, why it sounded familiar. It was the same voice of the guy that you’d been crushing on for three years. The voice of the guy who had no idea of your existence. The voice of the guy you had just unknowingly confessed to, discovered was a superhero, and also your soulmate, all in the same day. 

What a time to be alive.

His hand threaded into his hair, clutching at the strands tightly. “Do you know what it was like seeing those words every day and being damn confused out of my mind?!”

Bright hazel eyes met yours, a cut on his lip. “’Not Peter Parker?’ You had me questioning my entire existence for years!”

Your mouth opened then shut. Multiple emotions flooded through you like a storm, but only one really stuck.

You?” You repeated, your wrist itching, burning. You stomped up to him, ignoring the body on the floor and stabbing your finger into his chest. “What about me? A cow? Throw you a cow? Was that the best you could come up with?! I’ve been up sleepless nights wondering what kind of situation would allow me to be in that position!”

“Hey, if you didn’t notice, I was kinda occupied!” He retorted, stepping even closer and throwing his hands up in the air. 

“I’ve had that ridiculousness on my skin in all caps!”

“You made me think there was another me!”

“Even my mom made fun of it!”

He snorted, still a little delirious, but allowed you to grab onto his collar and drag him down to your lips angrily.

He broke away first, hands holding your face, relief and amusement and exhaustion swimming in his eyes. “Name?”

“Y/N,” You muttered, frustration still speckled in your tone, fingers digging into his suit-clad chest as you yanked him back to your mouth again. “And you better remember it.”

[MasterList]

Elsa, Pit Bull/Lab mix (1 y/o), Madison Square Park, New York, NY • “She destroys ‘indestructible’ toys and she loves to eat her own shit.”

I have a Chompy speculation...

Remember when Tokka let Raph keep Chompy?

It struck me as odd. 

Chompy is Tokka’s baby. Using her mommy powers of omniscience, she tracked him down and flew millions of miles through space to retrieve him. She was ready to destroy New York City to find him and bring him home.

Yet after Raph surrendered him without a fight, she let him keep Chompy. She then flew away, basically making the trip for nothing.

I began to wonder, what mother just gives up her child like that?

If I had a child who went missing, and someone benevolent found him or her and took good care of them until I came to reclaim the them, I would be very grateful to the person who found them, but I’d still want my child back. Even if they’d grown attached to my child, I’d be like, “I’m sorry about this, and thank you for all you’ve done, but I need to take them back now.”

So why would Tokka give up Chompy just because Raph loves him?

I tried to think of reasons why a mother would be willing to give up her child, and I remembered the story about two women going to King Solomon fighting over a baby. The first one said the second rolled over in her sleep and crushed her own son and he died, so she switched their babies. When the first woman woke up, she saw her son was dead but then noticed it wasn’t really her son. The second woman was like, “Nope! He’s yours! Yours died. The living one is mine!” So King Solomon was like, “Okay, someone bring me a sword. We’ll cut him in half so each of you gets part of him.”
The first woman said, “No! She can have my son, just let him live!” and the other woman was like, “Go ahead and kill him. Then neither of us will have a child.” King Solomon then knew who the real mother was.

My point is, a real mother would rather give up her child than have them die.

It made me wonder if something awful would have happened to Chompy if he were taken away from Raph. 

Even in “The Ever-Burning Fire,” Chompy was very attached to Raph and reluctant to leave him. I mean, Raph was the first living thing Chompy saw when he hatched. 

Maybe Vorkathian fire tortoises imprint on the first living thing they see. 

No, I ain’t talkin’ about the imprinting in Twilight. 

Google defines imprint (in zoology) as “(of a young animal) come to recognize (another animal, person, or thing) as a parent or other object of habitual trust.”

Chompy may know by instinct that Tokka is his mom…

…but you can totally tell he sees Raph as his caretaker. 

What if young Vorkathian fire tortoises die if separated from the one on whom they’ve imprinted? 

Chompy was so excited to see his mom, but the moment he realized she was taking him away from Raph, he became distressed.

He immediately tried to look for a way to get back to Raph, and when he couldn’t find a way, he cried out for his dada. 

(Understandable even without this depressing theory, of course… all babies go through a period of separation anxiety.) 

When Tokka gave Chompy back, you can see Chompy shaking as though he were crying and sniffling. 

But do Vorkathian fire tortoises cry? What if Chompy was shaking because the distress of being separated from Raph was already causing him to give up and shut down? 
What if Tokka let Raph keep Chompy because she knew her baby would quickly die without him? 

Plans (Pietro x Reader) ( Avengers x Reader)

I have a super specific request! Could you do one where all the Avengers(including Bucky and the twins) get Intel on a girl that supposedly has powers of being able to control elements, who was kidnapped by Loki, so the Avengers try to rescue her and offer her a spot? And maaaayyyybee Pietro has a slight romantic interest in her? Thank you!!
——————————–
(Y/N) was already having a terrible day. Her mind was scattered as she wasted her day away at the dead end cafe she had been working at to pay for her average New York apartment. The customers were generally nice, but as always there were a few stragglers pushing her limits.

A woman complained and screamed at her because her food wasn’t coming fast enough, like (Y/N) even had anything to do with the wait! Another person had come in for a cheeseburger, but then sent it back because it had too much cheese. Seriously, how were these people even considered smart enough to be left alone?

And now there was a tall slender figure silently watching her from a corner table. He never ordered, and somehow, wasn’t asked to leave. She had only made eye contact with him once during his stay, but when she did, shivers ran down her spine. His eyes reminded her of the deep, green pines on the fir trees of her hometown. His cold eyes never left hers as his lips tilted up into a smirk, causing (Y/N) to flit her eyes away.

She glanced at the clock and noticed she had about three minutes until her shift ended. She cleaned up her area and hung up her apron as she grabbed her phone from her locker. Her apartment was in walking distance, so she didn’t really feel like wasting the money on a taxi or uber.

As she walked home there were sharp tingles on her lower back as she had the sensation of someone watching her. She shook it off and speed walked to her apartment.

She slid her keys into the lock and twisted, feeling the resistance of her door give way. She walked in and rested her back against it, breathing out a sigh of relief.

(Y/N) slid off her shoes and scurried to her bedroom, still full of jitters. She changed out of her work uniform into an oversized sweater and tall socks.

The soft fabric of her sweater brushed against the tops of her thighs as she maneuvered her way to the kitchen. She dug out a ceramic mug and set it on the edge of the counter, before running back to her bedroom and grabbing her phone off the charger. With her circumstances, she always had to have it near her, in case she had to leave quickly.

Ever since the chemical accident of her father’s lab she had when she was five, (Y/N) could control the elements. As her memories washed up in her mind like the ocean’s shore, the crash of a fallen object fell on her ears. (Y/N) went into panic mode, and silently, she crept into her kitchen. As she turned the corner, she quickly conjured up ice as to freeze the intruder.

When the ice touched his skin he just gave a small smile with a quirked brow as he stopped the ice in its tracks. “Wrong choice, little one,” He sauntered towards her and, in her shock of someone just blowing her powers away, she let him. He was very tall compared to her stature and had to lean down to whisper in her ear. “The beautiful ones are most often the most breakable, shall we test that?” His voice, as soft as it was, only made her more terrified.

She spun away from him quickly, throwing a blast of fire at the man, she recognized him now of course, who would not recognize the man who destroyed New York? As the flame enveloped him, he simply disappeared. She quickly began to back up as he reappeared as soon as the heat was gone, marching towards her. She did not hit her entryway, as expected, but a solid chest, and a green mist was the last the thing she saw.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The New York Super Squad as Clint called them was enjoying a rather boring day, until that is, Thor crashed through the damn roof. Tony stood to the side, motioning greatly to the now gaping hole in his fabulous tower, “Do Asgardians have a dictionary? Because I don’t think the word door is in there! Are you too cool to knock, or just say ‘Hey bro let me in?’ It’s not that hard!” Thor stood straight and tried his hardest to look sheepish.

“The reason I have entered so suddenly is of great care,” He pronounced to the now gathered team. “Loki has escaped, and seems to be holding a young enhanced Midgardian captive,” He finished, looking at the now attentive friends.

“Doesn’t mean a door was hard to use though!” Tony snarked. Steve glared at the inconsiderate Stark, as he stood to grab his gear and rally the team.

“Alright! Thor, I want all the information you got! Everybody else, suit up!”
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

(Y/N) quickly raised her pounding head from the luxurious pillow, quickly regretting her decision as she looked over to see her abductor looking out over the window which viewed the- Well, she didn’t really know where she was. There was just an expanse of foliage stretching for what seemed to be miles. “Ah, you have awakened,” His voice was soft, which surprised her. Shouldn’t he be murdering her by now?

“I did not go through the struggle of abducting you, just to murder you. Not to say I will not go to that extreme if you do not comply, but that is not my plan,” He swiftly turned, facing her with those cruel green eyes.

“Then why? Why did you take me?” Her voice cracked at the end, even though she tried to hide it. He had already proved her powers were no good against him.

His rich laugh made her flinch. “Do not let your head swell. The only reason you are not dead is because I can use you,” The God of Lies smirked, making his angular face appear sharper than usual.

“You gonna try and take over the world again? Cause last time that didn’t go over so well, in case you didn’t notice,” She mouthed with a curl of her lip.

The smirk on his mouth promptly dropped and twisted, turning into a snarl. He stalked towards her on the bed, her hands now finding themselves bound to the oak bed frame. She immediately tugged against them, eyes going wide. “Don’t touch me!”

He pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes in disgust at what she was implying. “Do not flatter yourself, little one,” He talked sweetly, the opposite of this situation. “I could have you begging on your knees if I wished. I would never take someone unwilling.”

She averted her eyes as his own raked her face. “You never answered my question,” she veered the conversation. “Why are you trying to take over again? Because I won’t help you!”

His eyes never left her face as he gracefully sat on the edge of the king bed. “I am not trying to control your little Midgard, I am trying to rule Asgard. And from what I have witnessed, you are so very lonely. Always having to run from governments and regimes, much too fearful to try and make an acquaintance. Think of it, no more running. You can be at peace, ruling by my side.”

For a long moment, there was an expression of pure longing on her features, but to Loki’s chagrin, soon dissipated. “Murdering innocents to get what you want is not peace!”

Just as Loki was about to turn to the use of threats, there was a large crash in what she assumed was the main part of the residence. He assumed a defensive position as the noises of chaos came closer.

“The Avengers and my brother will come for you. But this will not be our last meeting, little one,” He chuckled as if he knew a secret which did not inspire much confidence.

He dragged his hands over her wrists; the bindings falling away with his touch. He stood back, laughing as his whole menacing figure quickly snapped out of existence.

Right as she lost sight of him, a speeding blur of blue rushed into the room. She quickly raised her now free hands up in defense; the shivers of fear from the previous encounter lingered. “Who are you?” She asked, her voice tight with exhaustion.

His face snapped towards her so fast it was like he had never moved at all. He rushed to the bedside and her breath caught at the beauty in his face. He lowered himself towards her, an accented voice asking, “Are you alright?”

She nodded swinging her legs to the edge of the bed, and attempting to stand. He quickly pulled her into his arms before she could fall all the way to the ground. “Sorry,” she mumbled as the blood rushed to her face. “I swear I’m not usually this helpless, I just-”

He smiled then, a warm show of white teeth as he assured her, “It’s fine. Trust me when I met his brother I was on the ground for a while, too,” he recalled the failure of stealing mjolnir with a grimace.

“The others will want to know you are alright, we should go,” He carried her through what she now knew was a remote cabin somewhere.

He carried her until they were in a stealth aircraft, what he called the Quinjet. Setting her on the bench seats, he started introducing himself, “I am Pietro Maximoff, and my twin is Wanda, although she isn’t here right now. The rest of the team is on their way out. Do you have any idea where Loki went?”

Processing that information she tried to navigate through her jumbled thoughts. “He said he would see me again, but that was all he said. So I doubt, you’ll have to look too hard to find him.”

He furrowed his brow. He knew why Loki wanted her on his side. It was the same reason they would try to recruit her. But why would he give her up so easily? His thoughts were interrupted when the rest of his team entered the jet.

Thor was the first to come up, bending on one knee and apologizing with utmost sincerity for his brother’s actions. He asked if she was okay, and then the rest of the team introduced themselves, the tension in the air melting away.

Steve was the only one standing when he started giving the recruitment speech that the others should have known by heart by now. Before Steve could thoroughly confuse her, Pietro quickly burst in, “(Y/N) we would be more than happy to help you harness your abilities and to have you join us.”

(Y/N) looked to him before smiling. “I’ll do it, but I need a lot of training,” she looked back on her fight with Loki, that proved she had lots of work ahead of her.

“You’re still pretty kickass, Avatar.” Were the words Tony decided to chime in, making her smile turn into full fledged laughter. She was going to like it here very much.

6

There is no such thing as a meat, cheese, milk, egg-eating environmentalist.
Excerpt from Adaptt.org

Meat-eating environmentalist = Oxymoron

Animal Agriculture and Environmental Destruction

Many people who fancy themselves to be environmentalists are fond of demonizing the automobile industry, calling it the number one agent of global pollution. (Just look at some of the literature emanating from such “mainstream” organizations as Environment California and the Sierra Club.) However, when it comes to environmental destruction, animal agriculture is the elephant in the room that no one wants to acknowledge, confront, or talk about. Animal-based agriculture is the number one cause of deforestation, air pollution, and water pollution. Therefore, those people who still incorporate meat, eggs, or dairy products in their diet cannot claim to be environmentalists.

Here is a summary of how the production of meat, eggs, and dairy products takes a staggering toll on the ecosystem:

Water Pollution

According to the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), the runoff from factory farms pollutes our rivers and lakes more than all other industries combined. In the U.S. alone, animals raised for food produce 130 times more excrement than the entire human population—86,000 pounds per second. A typical pig factory farm generates as much raw waste as a city of 50,000 people. Chicken, pig, and cow excrement have polluted over 35,000 miles of rivers in at least 22 states and contaminated groundwater in at least 17 states.

What’s more, chicken, pig, turkey and cow excrement comprise the sole source of all the recent E. Coli, salmonella and listeria outbreaks in which spinach, tomatoes, peanuts, jalapeño peppers, cantaloupe and other plant products have been implicated. E. Coli, salmonella and listeria have only one source: SHIT (human or animal)! Since spinach, peanuts, jalapeños, cantaloupe and tomatoes don’t shit, spinach, peanuts, jalapeños, cantaloupe and tomatoes cannot be blamed for this problem. E. Coli, salmonella and listeria found their way to the plants because people who enslave animals for meat, dairy or eggs contaminate the waterways by dumping nearly 2.7 trillion pounds of manure into America’s lakes, rivers and streams annually. Contaminated water eventually ends up on some of the crops as run-off, passing E. Coli, salmonella and listeria to the consumer. Also, more frighteningly, there are many times when farmers literally spray tons of RAW animal shit directly on the crops. Make no mistake: ALL E. Coli, salmonella and listeria incidents occur because of animal agriculture. Meat, dairy and egg-eaters want to eat billions of land animals. So ConAgra, Smithfield, Tyson, Perdue, etc. MASS PRODUCE billions of land animals far in excess of the numbers that would occur if these animals were left to their own reproductive devices and inclinations. Billions of land animals produce trillions of pounds of excrement.

Chemical Pollution

The majority of pesticide intake comes from animal products because the meat, dairy and egg industries douse billions of animals with chemicals to kill flies and mosquitoes that spread diseases from animal to animal. These chemicals seep through the pores, where they’re permanently stored in the animals’ flesh. Only a small percentage of pesticide intake comes from plant-based foods. But the majority of that residue can be washed away pretty easily. You also have the option of purchasing organic plant foods, which solves the chemical problem altogether. While you might be able to buy some chemical-free animal products (which is pretty hard to do because animal feed is rarely organic), there are still four issues that can never be overcome: slaughterhouse cruelty; the commodification and enslavement of animals; the deleterious effects of consuming animal protein, casein, cholesterol, saturated fats and trans fatty acids; and the environmental destruction and world hunger caused by animal-based agriculture. The government also allows crops set aside as animal feed to be sprayed with 2 to 20 times the amount of chemicals used on crops set aside for human consumption!

Water Use

Raising animals for food consumes nearly half the water used in the United States. Since no one needs to eat an animal in order to survive (except those living in icy and desert settings—see the ETHICS, LAWS and TRADITIONS section), that means fifty percent of all the water in America is wasted on animal-based agriculture. It takes an estimated 800 to 2,500 gallons of water to produce a single pound of beef, but only 25 gallons to produce a pound of wheat. Maintaining a carnivorous diet for a single person requires 4,200 gallons of water per day. A vegan diet for a single person requires only 300 gallons of water per day.

Land Use

Of all agricultural land in the U.S., nearly 80 percent is used to raise animals for food. More than 260 million acres of U.S. forest have been cleared to create cropland to grow grain for animal feed, and about 85 percent of the seven billion tons of topsoil lost in the U.S. each year has been directly attributed to the enslavement of cows. It takes twenty times more land to sate the appetites of meat, dairy and egg-eaters than vegans: those who eat animal products require roughly 3.25 acres of land per person per year to feed themselves, whereas vegans require only 1/6 of an acre per person per year.

Rainforest Depletion

About 214,000 acres of rainforest, comprising an area greater than that of New York City, are destroyed every day. Some of this is for cows to graze, while some of it is to grow crops for animal feed. More than 2.9 million acres of rainforest were destroyed in the 2004-2005 crop season in order to grow crops that feed chickens and other animals in factory farms.

For every pound of hamburger produced in rainforest countries, approximately 220 square feet of rainforest are cleared to grow the required feed. Through this clearing approximately 2,600 pounds of living matter will in the best of circumstances be displaced, or destroyed altogether. This living matter includes roughly 20 to 30 different plant species, over 100 insect species, and dozens of birds, mammals and reptiles. What is more, along with the biomass found in coral reefs, rainforest vegetation is said to be one of the most promising sources of heretofore-undiscovered chemical compounds for treating many diseases that were once thought to be intractable. These resources are simply laid to waste when rainforest is cleared. Even worse, unlike coniferous forest land, tropical rainforest can never be replaced once it has been cleared.

Energy Use

The meat, egg, and dairy industries are heavy consumers of fossil-fuel resources. Raising animals for food requires more than one-third of all the raw materials and fossil fuels used in the United States. The best flesh-food enterprise returns a paltry 34.5 percent of the invested fossil-fuel energy as food energy, measured in terms of caloric expenditure. In contrast, the poorest crop enterprise returns a whopping 328 percent. In other words, the least-efficient plant-based food is nearly ten times as energy-efficient as the most-efficient flesh food!

Air Pollution

Whether you’re a hardcore liberal who believes that humans are responsible for global warming, or a staunch conservative who believes that the warming of the earth is a natural cycle, I think we can all agree that intentionally emitting nitrous oxide, methane and carbon dioxide into the atmosphere can be classified as pollution. And pollution has the potential to sicken the earth and its inhabitants. Liberals and conservatives alike must understand that the feces of all animals in the meat, dairy and egg industries emit nitrous oxide and methane, two highly noxious pollutants. Plus, when it comes to carbon dioxide, few people recognize the devastating impact that destroying rainforest to grow crops for animal feed can have on the environment. For example, it’s becoming increasingly well-known that burning one gallon of gasoline in an internal-combustion engine releases about 19 pounds of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. But clearing and burning enough rainforest to produce just one hamburger releases 165 pounds of carbon dioxide. Veganism, as always, is the best, most efficient way to help the environment. After all, there is no such thing as a meat, cheese, milk, egg-eating environmentalist.