new work old work

  • everyone else: Fuck Tom Nook what a crook !
  • me: Only 298,000 bells to add a second story to my house ?? Wow that's a good price for installing an entire floor, AND Nook does it in one night !
  • everyone else: He charges so much for just a simple house !
  • me: I sure am glad Nook lets you take as long as you need to pay off your loan. He doesn't even charge interest rates !

Do you ever just read your own writing and

The water’s closing in above my head
and it’s so dark and so cold and so silent
But it’s not drowning that I’m scared of–
I’m scared because I can’t tell anymore
If the water in my lungs is salvation washing me clean
or damnation claiming its victory

And your fingers on my skin,
they burn,
they burn like candleflame, like hellfire, like sunlight,
and you caress my cheek,
      you stroke a finger down my ribs,
      you stab a blade into my leg–
it all burns the same, I can’t tell anymore–
but to be honest, darling, I don’t care.
I don’t care if you heal me or bleed me,
I don’t care if you kiss me or kill me,
as long as it’s your fingers against my skin,
as long as it’s your lips against my lips,
as long as it’s you and no one else.
I don’t care anymore.
At least if I die, I’ll die pure this time.

And your skin burns against mine,
collecting molten iron in the notches of my spine,
pouring lava into the hollow of my throat,
setting fire to the screams in my lungs–
And I can’t tell if the air stuck in my throat is just breathlessness,
just you robbing my lungs of life like you always do,
or if it’s smoke tainting my blood blacker and blacker,
or maybe the noose of my sins slowly strangling my death away–
all I know is I can’t breathe when I look at you.
all I know is I can’t breathe when I look at you
but my heart stops beating when I look away and I am dying.

I am dying wearing another man’s face,
wearing another man’s name like secondhand clothing–
too small in the shoulders that never learned to carry the world
too big in the chest that once carried a living heart–
I am wearing his history like a cloak around my self,
wielding his memories like a shield against the blood
    against the death
    against the damnation.

But the blood is coming from me,
it’s my fingers leaving rusty streaks down my face
and I am afraid to reach for you.
I am afraid to hold you in case
I stain you red,
                        red,
                                red,
like everything else I touch–
and if I taint you with my stained lips
I don’t think even I could carry that sin.

The preacher puts his hand
on my head,
on my chest,
across the cavity of my empty heart,
and I can’t tell if his words are blessings or condemnations–
I can’t tell if he can bleed the red from my soul
but you look at me so earnestly and I have to try,
I have to try.

I am drowning, and you are my raft.
You are the glimmer of light dancing above the waves,
you are the handful of straws dancing at the edge of my grip–
but I cannot hold you.

I am drowning, and you are my lifeline–
and I let you go.

—  am I drowning or being reborn? ( j.p. )

new years was hours ago over here so this is more of a bias list celebrating 2017 rather than saying goodbye to the old year as originally planned.  i did the math even though i personally suck at it,  i’ve had this blog since september 2012.  can you believe that? honestly it’s crazy that i’ve come this far and for so many people to follow and appreciate me really astounds me.  2016 was a bumpy year for me and this blog, activity was scarce and to be honest this year was pretty much a mess so i’m happy to finally say goodbye and look forward to a more fabulous new year.  anyways thank you all for just being here. i’m sappy and terrible at these sort of things but even with the hunger games over, this blog and gale still means a lot to me and for those who don’t know i have trouble letting go so to know that people still want me around and are willing to write with me makes my time here even more worthwhile. so here is to five years of writing this freedom fighter and i look forward to many more. hope everybody has a wonderful new year!

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I PAUSED THE SCREEN AND THIS ABSOLUTE GEM APPEARED OH MY GOD HE LOOKS LIKE HE’S ABOUT TO DISH OUT THE BIGGEST ROAST OF HIS LIFE I’M DEAD

Watch on helorific.tumblr.com

I rest my case.