This field of flowers
that I call my home
is a disgrace.
Everyday, a flower
is plucked and erased
from its proper place
in the ground,
and people stomp
their feet around
never thinking of
which hold us sound,
or our stems
that grow up
towards the sky.
the flowers that grew
and you stopped
to smell them, too.
And just when
I feared maybe
you would pluck me
from the earth,
you turned and
So this is what heart ache feels like? Never would I have thought pain could be felt so deeply, so wholly, yet almost ghost-like. It’s as if an abstract force is raping my heart, disintegrating it into a million pieces
Your hand pressed into my spine.
Gripped with intention -
you held me like you could somehow save me from drowning in the water we both already found ourselves in.
Every breath of air that escaped me
slid into the corners of your mouth,
and that’s when I saw you learn that pain,
was the only door that offered the opportunity of saving.
With promise, you latched onto the frame of my vision
and peered into gates of my soul.
You kept me focused,
steady, on you, so like a mirror, you could see yourself, but only the way that I saw you.
You were high,
on a different altitude than either of us knew existed,
but there, somehow the air breathes easier -
though that seemed impossible.
Our muscle memory turned natural and we started to find hope in our misery,
the way release brought refuge and made my skin quiver pink in redemption.
Your arms were bigger than mine
and had a strength dedicated to holding me
once, with comfort.
The next time, with love.
A third, when we were drunk
and I melted into the palm of your hands for you to consume.
Wet with power, I was a river whose current filled you in,
and as calm as leaves falling you curled into my lap broken - but ready for all your fibers to break down further and bind with mine.
We pressed our hands together so tight that any of the space between us could seep out through the tunnels our finger prints made.
And when that wasn’t enough,
you took the time to carve your name in the palm of my hand.
Somehow, you never even hurt me.
No, you blessed me in poetry.
Your hands carried weight that now colored my skin with holy water.
You were my excuse from reason,
and I begged you to cut me open.
I knew that bleeding would prove that there was still a life inside me.
So I am now salvation, quivering pink
and weak in the palm of your hands.
I’m a place for you to rest your knees to confess
and together we will ring in hymns of rebellion to water pride on the roots of dead flowers.
We will bring hope to a future and let our ripple of tides give enough reason to justify a once drowning past.
It was the night,
That your name found a home in the
Drum beat of my chest.
The first night,
In a long list of nights that I found pleasure in the conversation,
Instead of in a position.
Found a smile amongst the dust of things I hadn’t worn in forever,
And that I’m not as smooth as I think
When I am stutter stepping
My way through melting,
At how beautiful you were.
You were gorgeous.
You were endless lifetimes
Wrapped in a moment of everything
On my hearts playlist.
Putting my soul on shuffle,
And the way you steal my breath on repeat.
As if every night,
Is your way of reminding me how many
Ways you have loved me.
I love you too.
From your insecurities
To your imperfections.
The way you laugh
To the ways you make me smile.
That opens doors
You’ve never wanted unlocked.
To your brightness,
That takes my nightmares,
My every last bit of my darkest parts of me.
And loves them.
You were beautiful;
Finding comfort in a monster.
To a shipwrecked soul,
You were my lighthouse.
My strongest sail,
And I just want to give you
The most reliable vessel to carry you
Anywhere you want to go.
We can discover places that
Young love couldn’t find.
Sail across stars on seas of your dreams,
And the rhythm of heartbeat waves.
Love is in the air,
And it’s direction is endless.
Call it impossible,
But even this sinking ship found its way
To the safety of your shore.
I’m watching the sun set behind your eyes
Long after the days gone.
Waiting for us to drift away together.
Today’s adventure is over,
Wonderful as always.
You city of lights,
what eyes believe your stars tonight?
Scratch away the shimmering gleam
and the depthless void is revealed beneath -
spotless tramlines always on time
for transporting all those lonely ghosts.
You city of lights…
so sad, so fleeting,
your desperate upwards bolt
i’m running out of steam
balloon puffing out the air
with an exasperated sigh
don’t call me, don’t call me
because i will go
forget myself again
on open arms
or closed caskets
i will forget
i’m not here, i’m not here
half the time
i wonder if you notice
the other half
is buried under the debris
chanting to the void
whispering words of hope
can you see me
can you see me now
oh i’ve said too much
but this rusting heart
can’t take this corrosion anymore
it’s always the wanting
it’s always the fear
it’s the waiting for change
it’s the daydreaming with oblivion
there is no scientific method
to this madness
paint me with different colours
can you see that
this palette is missing something
help me figure it out
when it comes to my life
trick me into believing
in those forgotten hues again
trick me into believing
in a bright future
just give me a hill to die on
I need the rest