new pictures will not bother me this week

So I work at a phone store. Woman comes in with her husband and 20 month old son. Yeah, she actually said 20 months when I asked how old he was. From that moment I knew this was gonna be a looong transaction.

I wasn’t wrong. Her husband got a new phone but his pictures aren’t on it. I asked her where his old phone is. He traded it in to a different store three towns over.One week ago.

I ask her if her husband knows his backup information. She says no. I ask her if she’s checked to see of that other store still has his old phone. She says she doesn’t want to bother.

She gets in a huff at me because I should be able to just wave a magic fucking wand and poof all of the pictures from the old phone onto the new one. Look lady, 1) If I could I would cheerfully do so just to get you out of my store as quickly as possible and 2) I could’ve done the equivalent if your husband would’ve BACKED UP HIS FUCKING STUFF.

Meanwhile, her 20 month old is ripping things off shelves and screeching his head off while his parents ignore him completely.

Helping people who won’t help themselves sure is great!

Craigslist vintage bicycle seller jacks up price between inquiry and my trip to see it. Sweet revenge ensues.

(warning: long story)

Sure, we’ve all dealt with idiotic Craigslist sellers out there, but this woman was too greedy not to have this coming to her:

I collect vintage road bicycles, of which one showed up on our local Craigslist for $100, being sold by Greedy Bicycle Lady (G.B.L.). It is an upper-entry-level road bike by one of the better English manufacturers of the 1970s. At best, it’s worth $300 cleaned, fixed up, and perfect. As it is now, $200-250 tops.

I know a good deal when I see one, so I email G.B.L. with my phone number and tell her I can come by within the hour and buy it. Shortly thereafter, I receive this response in my inbox:

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twelvegardens  asked:

Request! Bellarke version of Jurassic Park/World. Basically, dinosaurs. Thank youuuuu!

ngl this is absolutely just dinosaur fluff

It’s hard not to think of the park as a dream job.

Which makes no sense, honestly; Bellamy has experience working in theme parks, and they’re usually basically the worst. Hours in the hot sun, shitty pay, and way more bodily fluids than he ever wanted to deal with. And Jurassic Park is no different, except for two things: much, much better pay and actual fucking dinosaurs.

It’s hard to argue with actual fucking dinosaurs. Plus, in addition to the generous pay, he gets free room and board. It’s on an isolated tropical island, sure, but his people come from isolated tropical islands. It’s in his blood. And he’s putting Octavia through college and then some.

Plus, again. Dinosaurs. He cannot emphasize how cool actual dinosaurs are.

He didn’t think he’d get to actually interact with them much, honestly. It’s not like dinosaur experts actually exist–the field is too new to have anyone studying it as anything other than paleontology–but he figured he’d have to have some kind of background in zoology or biology or at least animal husbandry. But, as it turns out, he has a knack for the work, and it’s not hard to get himself moved from running the cars that go on the Treetop Tour to doing live encounters in Herbivore Hour. He has to wear kind of a dorky hat, but aside from that, it’s actually the best fucking job ever, because he does presentations every hour on the half hour, generally for families with little kids, and he gets to care for the dinosaurs he works with.

Again: he works with actual dinosaurs. And it pays even better than operating the ride.

The only downside of the whole thing is that he is, at heart, a pessimist. And as such, it’s hard to believe that he’s not going to get eaten by an Allosaurus. But at least if that happens, he’s got a good life insurance policy. O will be taken care of.

And, as ways to die go, eaten by a dinosaur is at least awesome.

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anonymous asked:

This is barely a receipt but my brother goes to college in New York and he was in the city last week getting starbucks and he told me afterwards he saw Harry but didn't want to bother him(I was a bit mad cause I'm a Harry girl!) and I asked if he was with somebody and he told me that he was with some guy and the guy was a bit shorter then Harry and was wearing a hoodie and he told me it looked like one of the other boys a little(he's seen pictures of them obviously but doesn't know names) (c)

© and I texted him a picture of Louis in a hoodie and he said that it does look like Louis and then I asked if they interacted at all and he said that Harry kept whispering to him and at one point they both cracked up laughing! I know it’s not a big receipt but I just thought it was cute and I would’ve kept it to myself but I had to tell someone

Ahhh! That’s super cute, thanks for sharing it!

Preference: You're Insecure About A Body Part (Request)



song you should listen to while reading these

warning: FLUFF

[this is lashton. i will do malum soon]


You look through the tumblr tag of your boyfriend, Luke Hemmings, just to see more pictures of him while he was away. There was an entire masterpost about just his nose, which always seemed to intrigue you when people could focus an entire rant about one body part on a person, yet you couldn’t help but agree with the fact that his nose was perfect. So was everything about him. Everything about him made you so happy and you felt like he was a perfect human being. That’s probably why it was so hard on you when you found a hate post about you. You were with such a perfect human being that when you compared yourself to him, you knew you were reaching in the relationship. The problem was that you couldn’t not click on posts about you. ‘Maybe this one will be positive,’ you would try and tell yourself everytime, but this was again a time where it just wasn’t. The same person that was focusing on the exact same body part as before, but this time, the body part belonged to you. The entire post was dedicated to making fun of your nose. A part of your body that had never really bothered you before. But now, it would be the focus of your negative attention. Of course, you get a text from Luke just as you’re feeling at your worst and you slide to unlock your phone. 

send me a picture of your face i want a new updated lockscreen :)

You start scrolling through pictures you’ve taken in the past few weeks and in every single one, you notice how weird your nose looks. Of course. You open the camera on your phone and take a bunch of new pictures, all of which you hate. Usually, you would just send the last selfie you took or just take a random one because you knew that Luke would appreciate it either way, but now, you couldn’t help but think that Luke felt the same way as the girl from tumblr. You decide to create a sweater paw and cover part of your face, including your nose, with it and send that picture. He sends back a smiley face and a picture of himself with a huge thumbs up. Your phone vibrates again and you see that he’s facetiming you. You immediately answer it and smile, seeing his face. You catch a glimpse of yourself in the top right corner of your phone screen and you create the sweater paw mask again.

“Is it cold there?” he giggles.


“You keep covering your face like it’s super cold.” he calls you out.

“Oh, um, yeah.” you say, somewhat unconvincingly.

“You look kinda sad, are you okay?”

“What? Yeah.” you say, pretending to scratch your nose to continue covering it.

“Show me your face.” he lightly smiles.


“I want to see you. You’re beautiful.” he smiles.


“Why do you have a problem showing your face to me?”

“I don’t it’s just… I just read this thing online about my nose and you’re just so perfect it’s like hard to compare…” you start ranting.

“Are you kidding me? Don’t let anyone like that get to your head. They’re just jealous and stupid. Listen to me, I love every single inch of you and so should you. You’re amazingly beautiful and if anything, I can’t be compared to you.”


“No, I won’t stop until you believe me. Tell me that you love how you look. You can’t naturally change anything about yourself and I would never want you to. I don’t want to have to remind you everyday that you’re beautiful because you should know. You should be able to wake up every morning and believe that you’re beautiful, but until then, I will remind you. And even after you start to believe it, I will keep reminding you because I can’t go a day without the thought of your beautiful face.”

“Luke I love you.”

“I love you too, but…”

“Luke, it will take time for someone to love themselves and even if so, no one could possibly love every single thing about themselves. Please understand that.”

“I completely understand that, trust me.”

“You’re beautiful too, Luke.”

“Thank you.” he smiles.


“Babe can you help me with this zipper?” you say, slightly opening the door to the dressing room. He stands up and starts zipping it up, but it doesn’t zip up completely. You sigh as you check yourself out in the mirror. You close the door and take the dress off. You try on three more without showing Ashton, hating the way your stomach seems to hang out in everything. Nothing that you’ve found flatters your figure at all and you start to wonder if it’s your stomach that’s the problem, not the clothes. You put on your original clothes and open the door, carrying all the dresses. You hang them up on the rack and run your hand through your hair.

“Did none of them fit?” he asks, innocently.

“Nope.” you say, blatantly, trying not to show your true emotions.

“Okay, we can try some other sizes or dresses.”

“No it’s fine, I can just wear something I already have.”

“Are you sure? I want to get you something new for this. It’s my first professional date with you and I want it to be special.”

“No, Ash, it’s really fine.” your voice cracks.

“Are you okay, your eyes are getting glossy?”

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Look me in the eyes. Tell me you’re okay.”

“I’m not going to do that.” you shake your head.

“So you’re not?”

“What do you expect Ashton? Everything I wear shows that I obviously don’t have a six pack or flat stomach. I look fat in everything. It’s not the clothes, it’s me.”

“You’re…” he stutters.

“See, I am.” you shrug and try to walk back out of the dressing rooms.

“No babe,” he says, grabbing your wrist, “look at me. You are beautiful. I love the fact that you have curves. It makes me so happy. I want you to know that you’re not fat. You might not be a stick, but that’s perfectly fine with me. In fact, I love it. You make me happy and I hate it when you’re not happy. I need you to know that I love every part of you.”

You sigh and roll your eyes. 

“Look at me,” he says, putting his hand under your chin and making you look directly into his hazel eyes. “You are amazing and perfect and I wouldn’t want you any different than you are right now. I know you try to compare yourself with the models on magazines, but that’s not what I want. I want you and only you.”


So for the last week or so I’ve been building myself a new world, which I’ve named Mairin.  It’s a very tiny world suitable to use for the Midnight Sun Challenge. I placed a small plot of land for a house but I’ve also added a beach and a dive lot just because I wanted something for my sim to do.  tbh, though, I am not sure why I am bothering to make this since I really don’t play the game.  And I wish I could say it’s been fun but it really hasn’t.  CAW pisses me off to no end and I can’t paint terrain if my life depended on it.  If my motivation holds out I will post some more pictures as the world progresses. Maybe I’ll put it up for download

nothing sickens me more than the fact that taylor refuses to date because the media has belittled her to the point in which if she walks near a guy shes harrassed to the extreme. she is called a whore when she writes about love and a bitch when she writes about her broken heart. yet, ed sheeran only writes of love and songs like “talk dirty to me” and “blurred lines” soar to the tops of the charts. the way she is treated is not only sexist but just plain inhumane. the girl is nearly 25 years old and won’t even allow herself to date because she knows the media will do everything they can to destroy her. not only this, but they continue to feed lies. she hasnt dated 12 guys in the last week or even 12 guys in her god damn lifetime. the woman has had 6 public relationships in her 8 year career. what the fuck is wrong with that? bieber’s pictured with a new girl every week. but the media doesnt give a fuck because he isnt a female.
the thing that makes me the most sad is how taylor says that “it doesnt bother her” to be single. and i’m sure it doesnt, the thing is she shouldnt HAVE TO brush off every chance at love but the media won’t fucking give her a fucking chance.
i dont know how her relationship with harry ended i dont know all the details, no one besides them do, but i can fucking guarantee you that the media and their fanbase had a shit ton to do with it. the relationship was publicized on a bigger scale than ever and it was constantly nit picked. she was called a whore, a slut, and other sexist cruel names because she took a stroll in the park with a boyband member.
this is fucking cruelty and im sick of it im absolutely sick of it. everytime i mentioned taylors album today someone would be like “so whos this one about”

im sorry im just really sad and emotional and i really love taylor swift goodnight

Treat you Better

Summary: Bucky is there for you when your boyfriend dumps you 

Word Count: 1554

Warning: mentions of drinking, smut

A/N: this is my first time writing smut, and it sucks. ALSO THANK YOU TO MY FAVE @bovaria FOR READING THIS. I AM UTTERLY GRATEFUL BECAUSE ILY AND YOUR WRITINGS. Also, this is based on Shawn Mendes’s Treat You Better


I know I can treat you better
Than he can
And any girl like you deserves a gentleman
Tell me why are we wasting time
On all your wasted crime
When you should be with me instead

“For fuck’s sake, (Y/N),”Bucky muttered seeing your distorted state. He’s been knocking on your door for who knows how long, wondering why you haven’t responded in the last couple hours. “What happened to you?”

You glared at him, not wanting to be bothered. Your boyfriend, well ex now, of a year and a half just dumped you for a bimbo he met weeks ago. He didn’t tell you about the girl, but seconds after you broke up he was quick to post new pictures of him and her on social media; also deleting previous photos of you both, eradicating any sign you two were together. This only salted the already awful situation. After the breakup, you quickly made your way to your apartment to wallow. In the process of wallowing you decided to exclude yourself from the world, ignoring everyone. You’ve given your everything to him, so why was it not enough?

You stayed silent, before reluctantly letting Bucky in. He took once glance at your place and knew something was wrong.

“You’ve been drinking?”He exclaimed, taking one glance at the empty wine bottle before turning to you with wild eyes. You’re not one to drink, only on occasions.  

“Yeah, so what?”You huffed, rolling your eyes over his reaction. You couldn’t help but be sour because of the break up.

“(Y/N), what happened?”

You still stayed silent, eyes focused on the ground. You bit your cheek as you heard him repeat your name. You didn’t wanna talk about it, especially when the wound was still new.

Feeling his presence suddenly close, he took a strand of your hair tucking it behind your ear before cupping your cheek. His calloused hand felt rough against your skin, but it somehow calmed you. You sighed softly, finally responding,”Jason broke up with me.” You suddenly felt his body go rigid at the sound of his name, but he stayed quiet, waiting for you to go on.

“I- I don’t know what I did, Buck,”you said softly, a pout forming on your lips. “I thought we were doing fine, then he comes out of nowhere and does this! What’d I do?” Your sour composure was quickly replaced sorrow. Everything was going great. In fact, just last week Jason and you were thinking of going on a trip together. Now it’s all down the drain.

“He’s a dick, he doesn’t deserve you,”He muttered. Your eyes glanced up to Bucky and you suddenly felt how tense he was staring at you. His cerulean eyes held a certain intensity that you’ve never seen from him before, different from his usual nonchalant self.

The second you say you’d like me too
I just wanna give you the loving that you’re missing
Baby, just to wake up with you
Would be everything I need and this could be so different
Tell me what you want to do

“I’d never break up with you,”Bucky suddenly whispered silently out of nowhere. Your eyes quickly went wide at his words, alarmed. And glancing at him you can tell he was surprised himself. You stared at him, agape.

“Whaa- Bucky, what?” His hand was quick to disappear, but he stayed where he was, still shock.

“Bucky, what do you mean from that?” You demanded, taking his hand. You gave it a slight squeeze before looking up at him with curious eyes. At that, his shock composure reverted back to the intensity you saw before.  

“I can treat you better than he can,”He spoke with a serious tone. “I know I can. I don’t know why you waste your time with a guy like him, when I know you better than anyone.” The distance between you two suddenly diminished as he stepped closer, and he placed his hand back to where it was.

“You deserve a gentlemen, and I promise you I’ll never let you down. If you give me a chance,”He whispered, his forehead against yours. You gulp as his words dawn on you, never once realizing how he felt. You suddenly felt stupid that you never had an inkling of his fondness for you throughout the years you’ve known him, always thinking that’s what best friends do. Yet, when you’re this close to him, nose-to-know, for the first time, you felt a sense of comfort you’ve never felt before. You were suppose to be with Bucky, and you only realized it now.

Taking advantage of this knowledge, you were the one to make the first move and leaped up to him to feel his lips against yours. He was quick to respond, wrapping an arm around your waist to bring you even closer. You followed his lead and brought up your hands up to cradle his face. It’s cliche to think this, but sparks flew when you felt his soft lips mold against yours. This kiss was better than any you’ve had with your previous boyfriends. You wonder why you’ve never done this before, chastising yourself for not feeling this way before. This was better than anything you could have imagined.

Due to your lungs begging for oxygen, you pulled away with a smile settling on your lips. He looked at you with adoration in his eyes, his face still so close. “Show me you that you can,”you whispered to him. He only grinned wildly before capturing your lips with his once more. There was more vigor in your second kiss than your first, and hands were swift to ravish each other. You gave a soft pull at his bottom lip, and he groaned in response. The hand that once held your face, now cupped your bottom. Due to this, you quickly jumped up to wrap your legs around his waist. It was now your turn to moan as you felt his hard-on against your crotch. You craved each other more as seconds pass. You want to feel closer to Bucky, closer than you already were and the only thing getting in the way were your clothing.

“Bedroom,”You mutter against his lips, and he nodded, making his way through your hallway. Quickly slamming the door, he soon had you pressed against it. He removed his swollen lips to press against your neck. You let out another moan as you felt how warm his lips were as he continue to suck on one section on your neck. You grasp his shirt tightly before urging him to take it off, you wanted to feel his skin against you. Pulling away for a second, he removed his shirt. You smiled, looking at his newly exposed chest. He was all yours. Bucky then went back to smashing his lips with yours as your hands wandered around his chest and torso. You softly grinded against him, feeling satisfied when he moaned once more.

Craving to be inside you, he pushed both of you off the wall before laying you down on the bed. His hands quickly made it to your sweatpants, untying the knot before pushing it down. Achieving this, he cupped your core. He grinned, feeling how wet you are. He softly rubbed you, while pulling his kiss away. He stared at you from above and he couldn’t help but be proud of your messy state. Hair all messed up, hickies littered all across your neck, lips red and swollen, and your eyes clouded with lust. It was all due to his doing, which boosted his confidence.

Feeling his desire, you quickly removed your shirt, as well- revealing yourself to him. He grinned, seeing you weren’t wearing a bra. As soon as you were exposed, his hands made a b line to your breasts, massaging them roughly before his mouth took their place. His actions just increased your desire, and you also unbuttoned his pants before grasping him. A raspy breath emerged from his throat as you squeezed him a bit more. Bucky’s eye that were closed with pleasure, shot open with desperation.

“I need you,”He muttered, moving up to smash his lips with yours again while also struggling to get out of his jeans and boxers. You nod and remove your hand as he set his whole body over you, grasping himself before lining it up with your wet slit. He softly rubbed his cockhead against you before entering causing you to moan, feeling how thick he was.  He paused for a few seconds, closing his eyes and savoring how tight and wet you were. You watch the pleasure etch into his face as he continue to fully enter you. His thrusts, at first, were slow. Urging him to go faster, you wrap your legs around his waist to push himself deeper into you. You bit your lip tightly when his movements started to become rapid, hitting your sweet spot perfectly each time.

Bucky’s hands landed on your leg, pushing it upwards making your knee land on your stomach. The new angle made his thrusts much deeper, making you more full and you moan in response as you grasp your sheets tightly. You cry out his name as you reach your peak, clenching harder on him as he reached his. His thrusts eventually slow down as you milk him out, his cum filling you.

You smile gently up to him, pecking him one more time as he began to pull out of you. Bucky sighed in bliss before plopping right next to you and wrapping his arm around, enjoying the post-coital cuddles.

I know I can treat you better
Better than he can