new khmer

Just hold me (G.D)

Description: Losing a family member isn’t the happiest thing and sometimes you just need someone to hold 

A/N: Today marks my 2 year anniversary of my grandma’s passing. I decided to make it into a imagine so, if you don’t like it, keep it to yourself please.

Sorry it took so long to write (although I’m sure no one was waiting for this) with the holidays and the subject I found it really hard to be motivated and finish

All the pictures are mine

Bolds are text messages

Warning: Religious beliefs

Before I start, I just want to say a few things to make sense for the story. Myself, am not too religious but my grandma was. She was the head of the nuns (I guess they would be called that) and respected by the monks and everyone else. She did everything for our community temple; ceremonies, fundraisers, Khmer new years, she would use all the money donated and invest it in the temple, which is now being remodeled in her honor.

When someone passes away, the nuns and monks have to pray for the spirit and the afterlife (anyone who is Buddhist understands this or maybe some other religions do something similar and I might interpret wrong so correct me if I do) and most ceremonies take about a week (more praying to the spirit and the family)

December 17, 2015 

Grayson’s facetiming you

Knowing your boyfriend, if you don’t pick up his calls, he knows something is wrong. You wipe your tears from your face and tried to look as normal as you could.

“Hey baby” he said happily

“Hi babe” you said facing the camera on the floor

“Where’s your beautiful face? Switch it around, I miss you” he said

You sighed and turned the camera facing you, eyes puffed, old mascara streaks and bright red nose  

“Hey” you said weak

“What’s wrong babe?” he asked concerned

You looked down at the floor, feeling the tears coming back

“My grandma’s in the hospital” you cried

“What happened?” he asked

“I don’t know. I was taking my finals and my phone kept going off then I get a text to pick up my cousin from school since my aunt couldn’t” you said

“I’m sure she’s okay babe” he said

“I hope so, I’m home with my cousin’s while everyone’s at the hospital” you said

Your Facetime gets interrupted by your sister calling you

“Hey my sister is calling me” you said

“Okay, call me back please” he said

You picked up your sisters call, ending Grayson’s

“Hey, is she okay?” you asked answering

“Get ready, we’re picking you and Adrian up” she said

You hang up the phone and threw on a sweater. The car ride to the hospital was silent as the radio played. You sent a text to Grayson

“I’m heading to the hospital” you said

“Let me know what happens” Grayson replied

Thoughts run through your head as reality kicks in, somethings not right. You entered first into the hospital room and hug your aunt who is in tears.

“Mom wake up, your grandchildren are here to see you” she begged

You looked at your grandma, she didn’t look like herself. Her skin was puffed up from the injections they had hooked in her, her dentures were out and her head was shaved. You burst into tears holding her hand.

On the phone with Grayson

“She had a brain aneurysm” you said 

“I’m sorry baby, I know how much she meant to you” he said

“She just got back from the hospital a few weeks ago, she was doing fine and now this happened” you cried into the phone

“I wish you were here” you said

“Me too, but I’m in Jersey until Christmas” he said

December 18, 2015

“Are you still at the hospital?” Grayson asked

“Yeah, my dad and aunt aren’t sure what to do. They told us she’s only breathing because of the machines. My head hurts from crying so much” you said

“I feel useless, I wish I was there” he said

“Me too baby” you said

December 19, 2015

“How are you doing baby?” Grayson asked

“I’m okay, the monks and nuns just finished the praying and now we have to wait for the diener to come and take her to the funeral home” you said

“Do you know when the funeral is?” he asked

“Next Saturday, but we have a week long of ceremonies to do at home and at the temple. So sorry if I don’t message you right away.” you said

“No it’s fine babe, I understand” he said

“I-I just didn’t get to say goodbye” you cried

“Baby.. she knows how much you loved her and how much you cared about her. I’m sorry, I wish I could do something. I love you so much” he said

“I love you too” you said 

December 26, 2015

The hearse picks up the coffin from the temple and everyone gets into their car following until we reach the funeral home. You walk into the cremation area that was cold and empty that only had a big machine that looked like a oven. You say your final goodbye lining up one by one placing a incense in her coffin

The casket closes and a group of diener’s wheel the coffin and lift it into the cremate machine. Everyone crowds around your dad in the front as this is the last time seeing your grandma.

“Whenever you’re ready sir” one of the diener said to your dad

He takes a deep breath and presses the button, breaking into tears instantly. You’ve never seen your dad cry before. You head home with your family emotionally drained and sent a text to Grayson

“Heading home from the funeral, don’t really have energy to talk so I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Love you”  

December 27, 2015

Grayson’s calling you

“Hey” you said picking up

“Hey, where are you?” he asked

“Home, why?” you asked

Knock at the door

“Hold on babe” you said

You opened the door to Grayson standing in front of you. Shocked, you almost dropped your phone.

“Grayson, what are you doing here?” you asked

“I came here as fast as I could, what can I do to help?” he asked

“Just hold me” your voice cracked

He stepped inside and hugged you tightly as you cried into his arms.

R.I.P Grandma, love you 

Today is the last day of Khmer New Year in Cambodia, guess what ? Most of people get out of the city and everything is closed like ghost city with the weather 40 degree can you imagine ? This Cambodian summer T_T . Super HOT.