new j. cole

Sometimes I doubt if I could be anything for you
can’t stomach these feelings
that are floating around for you
I’ve tried many ways to rid of this love
I have in my heart for you
only because you can’t seem to feel the same too
I’ve been writing poems about you for two years now
hopeless in love and all I can feel is foolish
can’t even talk to you the same just to mask the fact
that I’m in love with you, but I know my eyes are 101 loveproof
I see couples together all around me
and my mind betrays me for a moment and I’m consumed
with thoughts of the possibility that we could be
and you loving me could finally become true
You catch my eye, but I look down and pretend it didn’t happen
the way your dimples deepen give me the impression
that you could be feeling me
But then I see you hugged up with your girlfriend
and the thought of you liking me turns into a fantasy


I secretly catch you staring at me closely or from afar
have me wondering whether you find me beautiful
or if you’re simply just dozing off
I’m just lost––but, probably not I’m not the type to drop jaws
just the type to make you laugh
our relationship remaining platonic
and all you’ll have of me are friendly, wholesome thoughts
Where in my right mind did I come up
with the notion that you might love me more than a best friend?
But that bit of hope keeps me thinking:
is that really how everything will end?
I have no idea, but only time will tell
and though I think I don’t deserve it
I’m blessed that the Lord has left you in my life still
Although I know you can’t just be best friends
with someone you’re in love with
I hope that it’ll just be a matter of time
that you will be mine

—  he’s not mine