More Excessively Detailed Howard & Vince Headcanons
Because why not? This was originally inspired by the questions in this post here, and then as I wrote, it grew and grew and grew, and now there are several mini-fics embedded within this big fat slice of headcanon-ing.
This is for culumacilinte, to whom I promised this an an incentive to write chapter 5 of Pea (which she did, and it’s GLORIOUS), and for concupiscence66, who has kicked some serious ass this week in more ways than one and deserves all the presents.
Now, without further ado…
Can they use chopsticks?
Howard will go on at length about his extensive knowledge and deep understanding of various Asian cuisines, and the philosophies behind them, and of the development of and proper use of the chopstick–but no, he can’t actually use them. He’s tried, many times, but somehow it just never works. They never sit properly in his grip, his fingers get all confused, and no matter how hard he tries, he can’t pick up anything. It just makes a big mess. He always ends up frustrated and embarrassed, so now he insists that his hands are simply too masculine and powerful for the chopsticks to handle without being overwhelmed, so he’ll stick with the noble fork, thank you very much.
Vince, of course, is a whiz with chopsticks, even when it comes to the fiddly stuff, and he wields them like he was born clutching a pair. He uses them every opportunity he gets, which Howard suspects is entirely for the purpose of simultaneously mocking him and showing off. (This is supported by the fact that Vince always smirks at Howard when he does so, his eyes glinting with–mischief? Mockery? Something else? Howard isn’t sure, but it makes him feel… strange.) Secretly, Howard is grudgingly impressed by Vince’s proficiency, but he’ll never admit it.
He’ll also never admit how distracting it is to watch Vince’s rather stubby little fingers navigate such a complicated task with such nimbleness and delicacy. Or how distracting it is to watch Vince’s mouth as he pops something into it and moans appreciatively…
No, he’ll never admit that.