new french girlfriend

5

Une Nouvelle Amie (2014) - François Ozon

5 bullets on this film:

  • It’s one of those films that the less you know about the better, so I’m not going to talk about the plot. You have to watch it to see, but I promise it’s worth it. It begins with cliché scenes and it looks like it will be a boring story, but then BOOMYA EVERYTHING CHANGES.
  • It’s funny and touching at the same time, so I cried watching some scenes but I laughed as well. AND I LITERALLY NEVER LAUGH, I DON’T KNOW WHY I FOUND THIS FILM FUNNY. Don’t expect a comedy film, though: the theme is very serious and sad. 

  • The actors are sooo good and the characters get you really involved with the story. Anaïs Demoustier is so cute that it hurts my soul.

  • Oh man, I live for french cinematography. 

  • How awkward it would be to watch it with you parents: well, a lot. I mean, I watched it with my grandmother and I survived. But… ehm… awkward?
If This Was a Movie // IL

I lay in bed listening to the sound of my heartbeat. I couldn’t sleep like I hadn’t been for the past 6 months. The constant beat of my heart was the only sound. I curled onto my side as I remember him. Lying next to him in the morning, my head on his chest, hearing his soft heartbeat.

My head automatically turned to the side where he used to be. I reached a hand into the empty space and clutched the sheets. He used to be there. It had been 6 months, but I kept thinking this was a dream. I’d wake up to him laying next to me. His angel face would be next to mine, and he’d open his eyes to smile at me.

Everything reminded me of him. The sound of the ocean. The rows of CDs I had above my desk. The grand piano in my living room.

I remember the first time I got that piano. He came over after. They delivered it, and he declared that we play the first song together. He spent countless hours pouring over song books with me before we finally picked a song. He taught me the song on my small keyboard, his arms wrapped around mine, our hands entwined as he showed me where to place my fingers and which keys to hit when.

When we finally got down to playing the song, he set up his laptop on the piano and recorded us. I still have that video on my computer. I’ve watched it a billion time since I left.

That piano was such a hassle to bring to my new flat, but I couldn’t bear to leave it behind; it had too many memories of us to forget.

I reached down to grab my laptop. I pulled up that video and hit play. There it was, as always, me on the right, him on the left. He played his part, then I played mine, with both of us finishing the song. I stopped the video as he kissed my cheek, the screen capturing the moment.

It seemed like I thought I had all the time in the world back then. Like time would never run out. Time always froze when I was with him. I never had any worries or troubles when he was around. We would lose hours at a time just sitting around talking.

I always dreamed he would have run after me. He’d grab my arm and spin me around. Place his hands on my shoulders or maybe my waist. He’d tell me how much I meant to him, how much he loved me. He’d beg me to stay, whatever it took.

But he didn’t. After I ran out, I made it down the street before glancing back to see no one running after me. So I put my head down and walked home in the rain.

Or maybe he’d sneak into my garden that night and throw pebbles at my window until I opened it to talk. He’d play a song on guitar, and I’d climb down. He’d hug me close and whisper how much he loved me in my ear. That never happened either.

I told myself for all those months that I was better without him. That I could survive without seeing him. I knew I was lying to myself. If he showed up today and apologized I knew I’d forgive him right then and there.

I saw him everywhere. He was doing well; Scott told us all about how he was at pack meetings. I couldn’t go into a day without hearing his name.

He’d changed. His hair looked longer and he styled it differently now. And of course there was his new French girlfriend who’s name I couldn’t remember. I hadn’t payed any attention to her. I always wondered, did he treat her like he treated me? Better maybe? Maybe he would run after her.

It seems like the pack liked her as well. They had liked me of course. They always teased us when we were together, but we knew it was because we had something they didn’t.

I got up from the bed and went to make myself a cup of tea. Since I wasn’t sleeping, might as well stay up. When I couldn’t sleep, he used to rub my back soothingly and make me a cup of tea. Or we would play board games until one of us was the winner.

I’m pretty sure it was one night after a very long game of Monopoly that he promised he’d always be there for me. And like the the foolish lovesick girl I was, I believed him. He probably meant it at the time but now, I don’t think so.

It was love. It was love in its purest; it didn’t stem from lust or desire. It was real love. I knew it too. I believed we were each other’s forever. I thought he was “the one”. The one I would marry. The one I would grow old with.

I sipped my tea, ignoring the burning sensation as it slid down my throat. Moving to sit on the couch, I thought about him and his girlfriend- god what was her name? I wracked my brain and came up short.

I hoped he was at least happy with her. I hoped he could move on. He looked happy, but I knew he could fake a smile. I’d seen him do it more than once. I’d considered calling once but decided against it. It’d be best if I was completely gone from his life; like I was just a memory with nothing to benefit from.

At least, that’s what I told myself. In reality, I missed him like crazy. He was like my other half. It felt like I was always missing something. Sure I had gone out with one or two guys since him, but none of them seemed right. I know I was looking for someone else, but no one could replace him. And I know I couldn’t have him, so I just stayed to myself after that.

I wish I could go back to 6 months ago. I wish I could tell myself I was wrong. I wasn’t better off with him. He was my rock that kept me grounded. I was missing a big part of my life now.

I would do anything to see him again. To just see him in person. See his eyes twinkle. Hear his loud laugh. Watch him be himself. Hear him speak to me. To say those three words. I love you.

But it’s not that easy. I can’t snap my fingers or wave a magic wand and have him appear. I made a mistake by running, and I can never take that back. I should have listened to my heart when it ached for him. I shouldn’t have listened to my head telling me to run. I was stuck with a broken heart.

I would do anything to fix my heart. It shattered into a million pieces. It’s like one of the thousand piece puzzles. You can do the whole thing, but there’ll always be one missing piece. I was missing him.

I set my tea on the table. Suddenly I couldn’t bear to drink anymore. I curled up on my side and stared at the fresh flowers sitting in a vase on my coffee table. He used to get me flowers every week to put in there.

I began to doze off when I heard a knock at the door. I rubbed my eyes and glanced in the mirror. I didn’t look too horrible. It was past midnight, so whoever it was probably wouldn’t care if I was in an old tee shirt and shorts.

I opened the door and almost shut it again to see if I was dreaming. He was standing in front of me like he did 6 months ago. He looked the same. It was like a mirage, but I knew he was real because my heart shattered again.

“Isaac?” I asked. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Hey Y/N,” he said. My heart fluttered when he said my name. If this really was a dream, I didn’t want it to end.

“Why are you here?” I asked softly and let him into my flat.

“Um, I came to apologize.” He said. I felt butterflies in my stomach. I tucked my hair behind my ear.

“Apologize for what?” I asked.

“Not coming after you,” he said and took my hands in his. “I was an idiot. I’m so sorry.”

“It was my fault. I was the one who ran away.” I said and took my hands out of his. I looked down at the floor.

“But I should have gone after you,” he said and placed a hand under my chin, tilting my face so I was looking up at him.

His eyes flicked to my lips then to my eyes. He started to lean forward.

“What about your girlfriend?” I still couldn’t remember her name, but that was irrelevant now.

“You’re the only one for me.” He said before he kissed me.

A/N: Here’s something to hold you over until tomorrow for Chapter 15 of Stars. I wrote this sooo long ago and I’ve posted it on several accounts for a few different celebs but whatever. It’s still good :)

youtube

grab a hummus sandwich and enjoy.

youtube

I know he wrote this song as a joke and everything but it’s so good and I love his fucking voice. He’ll never do it but I’ll kill for him to write an album full of original songs.