new england is better than you

Australia Reacts to the Growth of the Rabbit Population in the 1860s
  • Australia: England! New Zealand! I heard that the bun-buns in my place are rapidly multiplying!!
  • England: an increase of bunnies?? T-that's amazing... I wish that happened in my place.
  • New Zealand: hmm, okay, but bunnies aren't as great as my adorable sheep~
  • Australia: um, excuse you, bun-buns are one of the best creatures in the world with an adorable scale of 20 out of 10~
  • New Zealand: haha, you must be joking! Sheep have an adorable scales of 30 anyways, so they beat bunnies by a long run~! Plus, sheep are fluffier than bunnies, everyone knows that!
  • Australia: Bunnies are better!
  • New Zealand: Sheep are better!
  • Australia: BUNNIES!
  • New Zealand: SHEEP!
  • England: ... you lot are arguing about bunnies and sheep while everyone else argue about cats and dogs...

Things to keep in mind when learning a foreign language.

  • Always read out loud! Focus on pronounciation and accuracy. You may sound better in your head than in real life, and without practice you won’t improve.
  •  Study vocab with flashcards. Take your time to make them.
  • Apply new grammar rules in practice problems.  Without application and practice, there won’t be much use to it.
  • Practice, practice, practice! 

pavratipatil  asked:

lala my babe what are your unpopular opinions about the harry potter fandom?

omg. what aren’t they? nina, you know the right questions to ask. i’m literally so salty about everything in the books. tbh this is gonna turn more into an anti jkr post so if anyone is sensitive about rowling hate, scroll down.

  • jkr is such a terrible “feminist” as she calls herself, because she treats her female characters so poorly.
  • cho is just basically treated like shit because she’s soft and gentle? like, way to be a hypocrite, rowling (she called lewis a sexist for his treatment of susan and hasn’t even read the books and she’s literally doing the same exact shit).
  • she didn’t bat an eyelash when lavender brown, a explicitly described as black, was whitewashed in the films, it’s not like she treated lavender any better as she killed lavender off in the battle of hogwarts but there you go.
  • she hated and mistreated pansy just because she’s a nasty slytherin girl, like, that’s a child, have her grow up, have her learn from her mistakes, have her develop, who the hell hurt you so much that you can’t give a girl like pansy a redemption arc???
  • tonks deserved so much better but the fuck with that incest shit with her crushing on her cousin (in a pottermore story)?? like, damn, guess i know now where cc came up with her incest obsession.
  • the patil twins are basically ignored by rowling. they’re kind of there for woc brownie points but rowling couldn’t even be bothered to confirm whether the twins died or not at the end of the battle of hogwarts.
  • hermione is literally the worst. i hate hermione so much. she’s just so annoying and so high and mighty and it’s like, fuck off, nobody cares.
  • in the entire series there are about 15 poc characters (angelina johnson, alicia spinnet, bane the centaur, blaise zabini, cho, dean, duncan inglebee, fred weasley ii, gweong jones, kingsley shacklebolt, lavender brown, lee jordan, padma and parvati patil, and roxanne) and only a handful of them even have speaking lines. there are a total of 772 characters. only 15 have been worth being mentioned as poc, even less than that even have speaking roles. gonna let that speak for itself.
  • rowling literally fucking apologized for snape’s death and i’m like, the death of a white supremacist parallel, bullying, prejudiced, narrow-minded man who fucking hated kids that he worked with and didn’t give a damn about the child of the woman that he was fucking obsessed over (do not give me that “but he was james’s son so snape wasn’t obligated to like harry” bullshit, snape could totally have had harry close to him as his last tie to lily and could have tried to protect harry as that would have been lily’s wish). i understand that it’s tradition to apologize for some death on the anniversary of the war or whatever but maybe you should apologize for deaths of characters that weren’t such assholes???
  • also, the fact that rowling could give such a shitty guy a redemption arc (that a lot of people in the fandom fawn over!!!) yet draco, a child, was mistreated and straight up hated by rowling just because he grew up in a bigoted, close-minded household and didn’t know any better and ended up in slytherin and only continued to follow voldemort out of fear for voldie and his father and he’s such a great and three-dimensional character yet rowling constantly hates him for ????? being a slytherin???
  • which, like, what the fuck is up with rowling and hating on slytherins?? she acts like they’re terrible people yet gave us some pretty complex characters coming out of that house and it’s like, if your intent was to make us hate slytherin just because you do, it didn’t work.
  • the goblins are heavily coded as jewish and just the fact that literally the only jewish rep in the entire series are a bunch of goblins that work in banks just blows. my. fucking. mind. wow. as if jewish people haven’t experienced enough antisemitism in europe as it is now they’re gross and greedy goblins. yup. rowling is great.
  • how is it that draco, a child who is so very obviously suffering from depression, is seen as evil and terrible because of his mental illness (because his depression is what makes him “go crazy” and paranoia is a punchline to rowling) yet everyone who had to spend 12 years in azkaban (who all happen to be her favorite characters) and had to go through a shit ton of terrible crap somehow come out perfect and unaffected. like, not only is that a gross display of ableism but an insane lack of understanding of anything psychological. and, sirius, the only person who even displayed a small amount of mental instability was killed off so. ableism.
  • i am so mad about dumbledore. what the fuck, rowling, what the fuck? rowling is nowhere near being an ally as literally her only hp books character (i’ll talk about fantastic beasts in a mo) that’s confirmed as gay was confirmed so several years later in an interview (as if rita skeeter wouldn’t have figured that shit out asap??) and he’s an evil dude because of the fact that he’s gay and rowling explains his rejection of his homosexuality as being asexual and like, that’s not how it fucking works, rowling. first, you can’t turn off your sexuality like that, and second, asexuality isn’t just what you call being celibate or whatever.
  • the fact that werewolves are supposed to represent hiv+ gays. oh. my. g o d. wha t  t h e  f u ck???? what the fuck is that? oh my g o d. i can’t even handle this. i’m going to the next bullet point because the homophobia is destroying my soul.
  • gonna continue with the homophobia with the fact that rowling has a gay character in fantastic beasts that’s a fucking piece of shit and a total abuser and oh, look at that, played by an abuser. and little miss “i don’t support aggressors” literally supported an abuser playing the character. like. oh my god. look, i never gave a rat’s patootie about johnny depp or amber heard before the abuse allegations came out but olivia benson taught me better than to veer on the side of the alleged abuser just because he’s famous and the victim is bisexual and settled the court case with money.
  • eurocentrism is a real thing and rowling just seems to love to show that off. how the fuck are you gonna tell me that in the entire world there would be 11 wizarding schools and 3 of them would be in europe?? you know what, how the fuck are you gonna tell me that europe itself would have only 3 schools??? do you not understand that europe, the home of nationalism, would have almost one school per fucking country?? do you not understand that most of the european countries turn their nose in the air to each other because they all think that they’re better than each other and that they wouldn’t all totally have their own schools??? maybe benelux would share their own school, the uk would share their own school (although don’t doubt that the scottish would say a big fuck you to england and block all of the non-scottish kids out of hogwarts and force the rest of the uk to make their own new school at some point), and a few other places would share but literally do not tell me that spain, who cannot stand france, would share a fucking school with the french. like, i know a lot of hp fans are american but xenophobia in europe is a big thing. racism isn’t as big a deal as xenophobia (racism still exists, but it’s not a big an issue as it is in the u.s. as europe is predominately white unlike the u.s. which is super mixed)
  • but, on to the other wizarding schools. don’t tell me that latin america would have one fucking school for all of latin america. like, do you not understand that latin america is a mix of spanish, indigenous, african, and asian with different forms of ancient practices and brujeria that wouldn’t mix well with each other??? brazil doesn’t even fucking speak spanish!!!!!! brazil, with it’s large ass population of portuguese-speakers would need their own school while the caribbean would need their own school (if not two, because don’t tell me that a school full of cubans, puerto ricans, and dominicans wouldn’t be fucking insane and need to be divided), mexico would probably need their own school, and central and south american would need at least two other schools. and that’s just latin america. you can imagine how many schools asia would need what with most of southeast asia not being able to share a school (china and north korea would definitely have their own schools, don’t fight me), south asia having completely different practices than southeast, and the middle east would have to divide several schools between each other. and africa would need several schools. and australians??? jk never even mentioned them if i remember correctly????
  • eurocentrism mixed in with cultural appropriation and straight up racism is what i call ilvermorny. how the fuck are you gonna tell me that white racists are gonna be okay with sending their kids over to a school of native american magic. no, actually, how the fuck are you gonna tell me that native americans are gonna be okay with sharing their magic? magic that is so sacred and has so many rules and isn’t some fucking fictional fantasy to actual native americans but is complete reality to them??? and they’re going to be totally okay with a bunch of white people (people who’s ancestors committed mass genocides full of native americans because they wanted fucking land and power and gold and gave no fucks for the real human beings that were the natives because they weren’t apparently civilized and therefor weren’t real human beings) coming and putting a school where sacred native magic is taught in boston of all places??? rowling, you didn’t even try to research this shit.
  • boston wouldn’t even be where the new england wizarding school would be in. it would be in fucking salem, massachusetts. fight me if you disagree but i will fight back so hard on that shit. midwest would have its own school. the south would have one. texas would have its own school because fuck texas, nobody wants them. and florida would have its own school because where the fuck are we in?? the south?? north cuba?? who fucking knows. and let’s not forget louisianna would have its own school and the african americans in the north would have their own school too and asians in the u.s.??? their own schools. and the native americans would have a shit ton of smaller schools because there are different tribes with different histories and some wouldn’t be able to share a school because of those differences like in asia.
  • and canada would have two schools because fuck you if you think that french canadians (read: quebec) would willingly share a school with english canadians and don’t tell me that canada wouldn’t have tried pushing everyone into one school where the question of “what about french-speakers? what about us catholics? we’re magicians but we’re still good french catholics and we’re sure as hell not practicing protestantism”. and actually, i’m wrong. it would be three schools as indigenous people in canada fucking exist.
  • i’m done with the school shit (not done but at least on this post). like, okay, tell me how the fuck fantastic beasts takes place in harlem yet even the fucking extras are a bunch of crackers? i’m sorry jk, i didn’t realize that the jazz age wasn’t led by black people and that harlem hasn’t been hsitorically black. thank you, a white english woman, for teaching me that. thank you very much.
  • how the fuck is it that we have native american-based magic being used and yet not one single fucking native american in the entire movie? tell me. i want a good ass explanation for that shit because so far the only one i’m thinking of is that rowling just supports cultural appropriation.
  • how the fuck is it that newt schammander is seen as an angel when he literally was the one to begin werewolf oppression? oppression of the people that are supposed to be hiv+ gays??
  • an abuse victim is literally turned into a fucking monster and then killed. i cannot fathom this shit.
  • the film is supposed to be a parallel to racism yet cracker cast.

i think i’m done for now. now excuse me as i go scream because i just can’t. fight me on anything but i swear to god i am pissed and i will not be kind. i am done with jk rowling’s horseshit. absolute horseshit.

HetaTube: Horrible Movies Part 5
  • England: hello everyone, and welcome back to another session of my commentary on horrible, over-paid, idiotic movies. Some of you seemed to like my previous commentaries on animated movies, so I've decided to make another video on a movie called 'Norm of the North'. Let us get started, shall we? *presses play button*
  • England: ... what is this animation?? Even my drunk arse could animate better than this shit! And animals talking? Wow, what an original idea, mate. Pretty sure your team of writers are just a bunch of toddlers drawing these animals in crayon!
  • England: Are these gerbils with him? What? How? I thought we're in the South Pole? And who in their bloody right mind would want to build a fucking condo in the Arctic?? What sort of torture is that???
  • England: *eyes twitching* is no one going to question the bear in New York City?? Where are the cops? Whoever thought that this was a bright idea should be given a dictionary on what right ideas are. Either that or a slap on the head!
  • England: *groans* why though?? Why would you make humans look like the definition of aliens?? My mother would draw them better on rocks and walks with a piece of chalk made by these animator's tears!
  • England: I'm sorry, but I can't even finish the movie. I don't give a crap about what happens in the end, because I don't give shits on this stupid polar bear! Canada's bear has more personality than this poor-excuse of an animal! If I had to rate this movie I would say that it's a number only seen through black magic, because I'm sure that's what the director used to trick people into making this. That movie was so painful to watch and I recomend toddlers to watch it because at least when they throw something at the movie screen, they won't be blammed or fined.
Future, Meet Past

Day One fic for the Empty Child/Doctor Dances anniversary celebration! By Clare Hope, aka Admin Ianto at We-Are-Torchwood


“Ughhhhhh.”

That sounded like Owen. Why was Owen groaning? Wasn’t it night? Night was usually when Gwen was asleep.

“Owen? Gwen? Are you there?”

And that was Ianto. What was going on? Gwen sat up and rubbed her eyes.

“Gwen, you’re awake. Look, we’re in this room. I can’t find any doors or weaknesses in the walls,” Ianto said. The only light was coming from a small torch that he was carrying. “You and Owen have been out for about 20 minutes.”

“Where are we? How did we get here?” Gwen groaned.

“Well, we were investigating Rift activity, so I’m guessing the Rift brought us here.” Ianto tapped the wall. “It seems to be some sort of high-strength metal alloy.”

Gwen crawled over to Owen and shook him roughly. “Wake up. We’re trapped.”

“Great. You know, I think I’m gonna stay asleep,” he mumbled.

“What’s that noise?” Ianto said suddenly.

Gwen knew that noise. So did Ianto, though he would prefer not to remember it. It was the whirring, wheezing sound of one space-time ship that had once whisked Jack away from them for three months. Their best guess as to the occupant of the ship was whoever Jack’s “doctor” that he kept referring to was, but they didn’t know for sure.

“What the hell is going on?” Owen snapped.

There was a thud, and another, higher pitched whirring. Part of the wall swung inwards, almost hitting Ianto in the face. “Hey!” he cried.

Keep reading

The Roommating Season

Chapter: 4 / 4

Author: mldrgrl

Summary: Written for @thexofiles Go Fic Yourself segment for War of the Coprophages.  I’m paraphrasing, but I believe the request was for a fic where, instead of going to Massachusetts to avoid the fumigation of his apartment, Mulder spends the weekend at Scully’s.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4: Monday

The alarm went off and Scully groaned.  Time to face the day and get ready and try to figure out how to accomplish it with another person in the apartment facing the same predicament.  Maybe they should have talked about it the night before.  She made the decision to start the coffee first and then check with Mulder to see how they could split their time with the bathroom.

Mulder was still asleep when she crept out of the bedroom and she decided it would give her the opportunity to take a quick shower and then they wouldn’t have to divide up the time all that much.  She was washed and dried in under twenty minutes and Mulder was awake when she came back to the kitchen to retrieve her coffee.

“Morning,” Mulder rasped.

“Good morning,” she answered.

“Bathroom free?”

“All yours.”

“I won’t be long.”

Scully sipped on her coffee for a few moments, but left it behind to go get dressed.  Remembering the weather was supposed to be bad, she looked out the window.  It had definitely snowed overnight, but only a few inches from what it looked like and the road was mostly clear.  She put on a black pantsuit with a cream-colored blouse and went back to the kitchen to put some bread in the toaster oven.

Just as the toast finished, Mulder came into the kitchen, buttoning his cuffs.  She could smell his presence behind her as she buttered and jellied the toast, sharp and fresh, before it ha a chance to wear off a little and become more subdued and settled.  It made her smile and she wasn’t sure why.

Keep reading

hetaliasecond  asked:

hey ! i love your blog. :) what would the 2P!s and their s/o most likely argue over ? thanks !

2P Italy: his violent outbursts that often end with him or someone else in the hospital

2P Germany: his unwillingness to actually do anything productive with his abundant free time

2P Japan: his salty, judgmental, “I’m better than you” attitude

2P Romano: his flamboyant lifestyle that requires spending all his life savings on clothes

2P Prussia: his shyness, maybe his unwillingness to try new things……but why would anyone ever argue with this precious gem awh

2P France: his lazy, cynical, asshole-ish attitude

2P America: his violence, his unwillingness to ever read a damn book, or maybe his veganism

2P Canada: his cold, cynical, “look at me, I’m a grumpy lumberjack” lifestyle

2P England: his never-ending baking, his prissiness, the fact that all his money goes towards pink hair dye……but please don’t argue with this smol bean either okay okay—-

2P China: his drug addiction (or possibly the fact that he has a Hello Kitty shrine in his basement)

2P Russia: his amazingly boring, planned-out, “I have a daily routine and if something happens to alter my routine then I’m gonna crawl under a rock and die” kind of lifestyle

2p’s and Their New Year’s Resolution

Mun: Okay funny story, before I made this blog I tried to “try out” so to speak to be a co-admin on another blog by turning this in (I don’t remember which one, but I remember being a huge fan and I fixed this up a bit). Anyways I’m pretty sure they never really did anything with it so I wanted to see if you guys would enjoy it. Hope you like it!

2p America: “My New Year’s resolution is to go and make the world a better pl-*starts to laugh* Pfft! Nah, I can’t say it, anyways I’d probably to pick up more chicks this year than I did 2016 *wink*

2p Canada: “Oh wow people actually still do those? I guess it would be to uh… . I dunno beat the crap out of more poachers?”

2p France: *stares up from phone* Eh. *goes back to phone*

2p England: “Well, I guess my resolution would be to spend more time with the family and learn more from each other?”

2p Russia: “It’s pointless to make up a holiday to get drunk and act like your past mistakes didn’t happen.” Yeah…he is not a big fan

2p China: “My resolution is to party harder than 2016!!”

2p Germany: “My resolution is to eat as many of those bratwursts over there without throwing up.” Lutz actually does think of ways to improve himself so he doesn’t annoy everyone around him, but he gets so wasted on New Year’s Eve that he goes back to normal.

2p Italy: “*sigh* If I have to decide on a resolution it would be to get more things done and if anyone bothers me they’ll have me to deal with.” Yeah work gets piled on at the end of the year for him, so he is not too happy.

2p Romano: “Hm? A resolution? Honey I’m already fabulous enough, I don’t need to improve on anything!”

2p Prussia: “I guess to be m-more confident?”

2p Japan: “My resolution is to make more hentai. Nothing more. Nothing less.” (-_-) what did you expect from the perverted ice queen?

2p Austria: “Duh, my resolution is to put Flavio in his place and make him realize I’m more fabulous than him!” Mun: *facepalm* I don’t even know where to begin with this one. 

Originally posted by fetusblesser


2p Spain: “Resolutions are dumb.” Spain is one of those people who believe if your life sucked last year it’s gonna suck this year.

anonymous asked:

Hi, do you know any fake relationship au? :)

Holy shit. I can’t believe nobody asks me this before? Like, it’s one of my fav trope ever?

So, yes!!!  I know a lot of them !!  here we go:

Of course I have to start with some basis :

- And Then a Bit: “We’d like to give the fans what they want.” Magee states, placing his hand on the table in front of him and leaning forward. “We want to give them Larry Stylinson.”  Or, take a parallel universe where Louis and Harry were never together, mix in a two year hiatus and an impending comeback, pour in a dash of lost fans, two tablespoons of strong friendship and a Modest! employee with a good idea. Add a squeeze of pretending to be a couple, lots of kisses and a tattoo or two. Stir. Serve: the mother of all publicity stunts.(aka Harry and Louis fake a relationship for publicity. Eventually it becomes a lot less fake and a lot more real.) (158k, Canon)

- Pull Me Under       : AU. As the first British footballer to come out at the prime of his career,  it helps that Louis Tomlinson is in a long-term, committed   relationship. Even if that relationship is fake. (Featuring Niall as Louis’ favourite teammate, Liam as Louis’ agent, and Zayn as Liam’s boyfriend, who just happens to be good friends with one Harry Styles.) (140k, on my Top 5 fics ever tbh)

- Spin Me Like A Record       : Uni AU. Sometimes, Louis poses as Harry’s boyfriend. It doesn’t mean anything. Really. (8k)

- Some Things Take Root       : AU. Louis’ ex doesn’t get jealous of anyone besides Harry. Harry helps Louis use that to his advantage. (50k)

- for now (and forever)  :  “It’s nice that you want to offer that, but I just can’t do that. First of all, it’s illegal.”Louis shakes his head vigorously. “No, no. It’s not like one of us is gunning for a visa.”  “Listen to yourself,” Harry laughs, shaking Louis’ shoulders. “Don’t you think it’s a bit weird to con the country you’re supposed to be serving?”Louis is going into the Army, Harry is going nowhere, and there’s nothing like a little identity fraud between friends. (83k, I’m so in love with this fic tbh)

And then I’m gonna add …:

- nobody shines the way you do : “We might as well just date.”Harry froze in his arms, his body stilled as he slowly lifted his head up at Louis to give him the most confused expression he’d ever worn. Louis literally wanted to fuck him into the next century. “What?” Harry asked. “Are you–.”“No,” Louis said, shaking his head before Harry could go far with that idea and trap Louis into confessing his own feelings. “I mean…like I think I have a plan?”“A plan?” Harry said slowly. “A plan other than me going to Peter’s tomorrow and groveling for hours; maybe even days?”The thought of Harry doing that made Louis’s skin burn, but he schooled his expression well and nodded swiftly. “There will be no groveling. Well, there will be, but not on your end.”orLouis pretends to be Harry’s boyfriend to help him win back his douchebag ex-boyfriend, but things don’t go according to plan. (115k, one of my fav)

- 90 Day Return : It was all supposed to be mutual promo. That’s it. A boyfriend for the winter - Louis can do this. (15k, actor!Louis and singer!HArry)

- (your heartbeat) rang true inside my bones : Harry goes as Louis’ date for a weekend wedding. He ends up taking the role a bit too seriously.  “Hey,” Harry hears himself say just as Louis climbs back into the car. He ducks down, holding onto the roof to look at Louis who cocks his brow at him and says, “What?”  “I meant it,” Harry starts. “Like, I’d do it. I’d be your date for the wedding. If it’d make you feel less awful about being there and if you want me to, I’ll do it. I promise I’ll be good.”  (32k, Canon fic)

- Hit the Heartbrakes : With his best friend and eternal roommate Zayn getting married and abandoning him, Louis has planned the world’s biggest stag do to send him off into married life – a week in Thailand showing him all the things he’s going to be missing when he becomes a married man. But Zayn has neglected to mention that Louis’ ex and their old uni friend Paddy will be coming – along with his successful, rich new boyfriend. Determined not to let Paddy ruin his fun once again, he enlists the help of an attractive backpacker by the name of Harry, who good-naturedly agrees to go along with pretending he’s Louis’ boyfriend for the week. A week of sun, sea, booze and no-strings-attached sex beckons, but as always, things don’t go quite as planned… (13k)

- Give Me A Chance  : au. Louis gets bullied a lot. Harry’s captain of the football team. (36k, High School AU)

- Always Come Back To You : “I’ll do it,” Harry offers brightly. No one even blinks. “I’ll do it?”Louis sighs irritably. “Shut up,” he orders, tossing a pillow in the general direction of Harry’s face. This is a terrible time for jokes, especially Harry’s lame, old people ones.Not that it was an old people joke. Just that most of the time Harry’s jokes consist of knock-knocks or terrible puns. The type of jokes old people like, Louis’ pretty sure. His nan always finds them hilarious when Harry tells her one.Harry bats the pillow out of the air without even blinking. “Be reasonable, Lou,” he says in his most reasonable voice.Louis is perfectly reasonable, thank you very much, and he’s also frustrated and upset and tired and he really wants to punch something. Maybe he should have held on to that pillow a little longer.“You’re not gonna fucking do it,” he snaps. “That’s the last thing I need.” (28k, canon)

-walk my days on a wire : Harry hums, staring at his hands in his lap, and Louis can still feel their smoothness, how solid they were in between his own. “Do you think it’s the same for us? Are we here only because of the likeliness of our jobs? Of our lives?”
“We’re here because we have inventive managers,” Louis says, giving Harry’s leg a little nudge with his knee, but all that’s going around in his head is, I think I’d be in the same spot in every possible universe.  or, when actor Louis Tomlinson used to daydream about dating Harry Styles, this is not what he had in mind. (38k, famous!AU)

- bring out feelings in me i never show  : “I really think you should stop reading,” Liam says, having moved to hover behind Louis’ back at some point. “I can already see the cogs turning in your head, Louis, and I don’t like this.”“Shut up,” Louis waves him off and continues reading.  I can do these things, at your request: openly hit on other female guests while you act like you don’t notice; start instigative discussions about politics and/or religion; propose to you in front of everyone; pretend to be really drunk as the evening goes on (sorry I don’t drink, but I used to); start an actual, physical fight with a family member, either inside or on the front lawn for all the neighbors to see. [Louis accidentally hires a felon to be his fake boyfriend for Thanksgiving. Or, the fake boyfriends au no one asked for, inspired by this.] (24k, very funny)

- don’t be afraid, it’s only love : A proposal!AU where Louis is at risk of being deported back to England and Harry just really wants a promotion. (14k, like the movie)

- For Better, Worse And Mischief (I’m All Yours) : The One Direction PR management team decides that Harry needs to get married. Harry doesn’t want to. Louis comes up with the perfect solution to the problem. (37k, canon)

- Stuck In The Middle With You  : When Harry starts university, he finally gets to spend every day with Louis again. They have been friends since forever, and would do anything for each other. Given that, Harry doesn’t hesitate to pose as Louis’ boyfriend once he finds out that his new roommate is no other than Louis’ crush. Cue the usual. And maybe a bit of the unusual. (11k, uni AU)

Also I have to add Escapade in this list even if you can’t read it  totally on AO3 anymore

And if you can read outside Larry :

- If I Was Your Boyfriend, I’d Never Let You Go  : “Harry, you essentially just told my sister that we’re dating.”“Pretty much,” Harry says, and grins. “Champagne?”in other words, pretending to be boyfriends fic (10k, Lirry)

- Smile Again  : Recently dumped Louis sets his kitchen on fire on Christmas Eve. Fireman Liam makes the mistake of inviting him home for Christmas. Chaos and feelings ensue. (16k, Lilo)

- and you take me the way i am : It’s incredibly relaxing, even in this small space, the way they’ve always been.  Such a distraction that he doesn’t think, not for once, about agreeing to lie to his family and Zayn pretending to be his date and how easy all of this might be.(Liam needs a date to a wedding.  His family loves to match him up with blind dates.  He doesn’t want that.  He needs a date… and, well, why not Zayn.  Pretending to be boyfriends for a weekend isn’t the worst idea he supposes.  Liam is horribly wrong.) (54k, Ziam)

- April Fools : Now, staring down at the platinum band on his own left hand (“only the best for you, Liam,” Louis had said, smirking as he slid the ring on Liam’s finger), Liam wasn’t so sure any of this was the best idea for an April Fool’s prank. But both of them knew he would go along with it. Liam always did. (12k, Lilo)

- let’s pretend it’s love  : Pretend!boyfriends fic in which Liam and Zayn get papped while hamming it up for Louis and Eleanor, and management decides the easiest way to deal with the resulting hysteria is to let it run its course. (68k, Ziam)

- boyfriend material (that’s what you’re made of) : “What a nice lad,” Pete says, making Nick jump in surprise. He turns to find his parents standing side by side, staring at him with identical smiles on their faces. Nick’s gaze narrows as his eyes dart between his parents.“Yeah, I mean, I guess he’s alright,” Nick says warily.“So is he your special someone then?” his mum bursts out, and oh god, she’s actually giddy. or the one where Nick accidentally tells his parents that he’s dating Louis Tomlinson from One Direction. (11k, Tomlinshaw)


UPDATE : (last update: April 4th2017)

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Tell Everyone That There’s Hope In Your Heart | Bill/Fleur

title | ffnet | AO3

“Heads up, breakfast!”

Fleur groaned loudly, covering her head with a pillow. Her husband responded by pulling the duvet off the bed, and she shrieked in horror. “Wakey wakey,” Bill said cheerfully, opening the curtains as she rearranged the duvet back around her, fluffing up the pillows with a scowl on her face.

“It’s the weekend! I deserve a lie-in,” she grumped.

“You definitely need your beauty sleep,” agreed Bill, and she pulled a face, taking the tray he’d been levitating and pouring herself a large mug of coffee. “You have a letter from your mother,” he added, as she buttered toast for him.

He climbed back into the bed, taking the Prophet as she opened her letter. They ate breakfast in silence, each immersed in their own thoughts, but she hooked her ankle over his, and he occasionally reached over to brush her hair out of the way of her mouth. After a few moments, she folded the parchment in half and placed it back on the tray, sipping her coffee thoughtfully.

“Any exciting news?” Bill asked.

“Much gossip,” Fleur said, “and Gabrielle finishes at Beauxbatons for Christmas next week.”

“Early, this year,” he said.

“It ees,” Fleur sighed. “Maman wondered if she might come to visit for a little while, as we shall not be there until the New Year.”

“She could come and stay,” Bill said, “we’ve got the room, and we could book some extra holiday from work and go—”

“No,” Fleur said firmly, “no. It would be nice, but…maybe next year. It ees too…much, still.” 

Bill nodded slowly. She was right. It was all too much. Still.

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anonymous asked:

Hi there! Your head-cannons are great, please don't stop making them ;w; You're an awesome Admin! :D So, uh, I have a question, what would happen if Reader helped a 2P out if they were sick? *shuffles away* I'm sorry if I bothered you-- *shuffles 10 feet away from Admin-Senpai*

((thank you-! and omg no, bby come back *pounces after you*))

You: *is taking care of a sick Second Player*

2P!America: *groans and buries head into pillow* ughhhh, why are you even here? You really wanna see me all fragile and shit? Fuck no… get out *hides face in blankets but doesn’t actually want you to leave*

2P!China: I’m so tired… But this doesn’t feel much worse than a hangover or that one time I nearly had an overdose… Wait, what did you just say? hELLZ YEAH I’M STILL DOWN FOR SEX?????!!!??

2P!England: *kitten sneeze* I’m so sorry poppet… You really don’t have to be here… I’m probably such a bother aND OH MY GOODNESS YOU MADE ME SOUP HOW SWEET OF YOU AWWWWH–

2P!France: *violent fit of coughing* ………. I’m fucking FINE,,

2P!Russia: I can take care of myself just fine… You really don’t need to be here… *weakly reaches for remote* ……okay but can you hand me that please

2P!Italy: gET. OUT. *cough* -nOWWW. *throws tissue box at the door as you flee* guhhh… *once you’re gone, he curls into a fetal position* no one is allowed to see me all weak like this… *angry grumbling* no one…

2P!Germany: yo, while we’re locked in my room like this, why don’t we watch four straight hours of porn together? ;DDDDDD *sounds like he’s totally kidding* … *is totally not kidding*

2P!Japan: *blushes when you place a wet cloth on his forehead* ……let’s just take a bath together.

2P!Canada: I’m not sick *coughs* I’m totally fine *sneezes* I don’t even have a fever *his skin is over 100 degrees* I can totally go to work tomorrow– *passes out from exhaustion*

2P!Romano: *whines* I feel so gross… And I was planing to re-dye my hair today *pouts* Anyway…~ toss me that new issue of Vogue, will you darling? *passes time by reading magazines with you*

2P!Austria: this king has fallen… *sniffles* just kidding!~ anyhoo, have you heard of World of Warcraft? *stares at you like an excited puppy* you should really…… try it,,,,,

2P!Prussia: I-I’m so sorry if I’m being a bother… I feel like a burden to you… I-I mean, you probably have so much better and more important things to do than take care of me, don’t you…?

Get To Know Me

I was tagged by @medicatemedrmccoy


Rules: Answer the questions in a new post and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better.

A - Age: 17
B - Birthplace: Liverpool, England (Eww I know)
C - Current Time: 4:36pm
D - Drink You Last Had: Water
E - Easiest Person To Talk To: Other than myself? @vevsee and @lunicorn77 also my mum :)
F - Favourite Song: I have so many, it’s unreal… GAHH Maybe ‘Over’ by James Blunt. There are so many though
G - Grossest Memory: That time I drank Fanta orange mixed with milk? idk
H - Horror Yes or Horror No: Hell no, but I’m getting better I guess?
I - In Love?: Romantically: No Amicably: Yes, I am in love with my friends/family haha
J - Jealous of People?: No. Sometimes envious, but they’ve got what they’ve got because of their own effort.
K - Killed Someone?: There would be so many if it wasn’t illegal…
L - Love At First Sight Or Should I Walk By Again?: Go passed about 7 times at least.
M - Middle Name: Mairi
N - Number of Siblings: 2, I love my two bros
O - One Wish: To (eventually) be able to say I’m a doctor (not that kind of doctor)
P - Person You Called Last: I hate talking to people on the phone but… @lunicorn77, 8 days ago! XD
Q - Question You Are Always Asked: How’re you? I guess, I don’t know really??
R - Reason to Smile: #cliché but my family and friends. Plus TV/film characters (They’re basically family right?)

S - Song You Sang Last: Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac

T - Time You Woke Up: The first time 4:30, the second time 8:00
U - Underwear Colour: Grey
V - Vacation Destination: Everywhere! Canada, New Zealand, American Roadtrip with @vevsee? :D
W - Worst Habit: Worrying about everything ever. On the outside I’m so calm but on the inside I’m a nervous wreck haha
X - X-rays: For my teeth? That’s all?
Y - Your favorite food: YES Anything on the beige colour spectrum. Potatoes, pasta, bread, chicken, rice, cheese, just yes to all!
Z - Zodiac Sign: Cancer if we’re going by the 12.


Tagging:

@distinguishedqueenofbooks, @vevsee, @lunicorn77, @youre-on-a-starship, @hallowedbecastiel, @carry-on-my-wayward-butt, @lurkch, @urban-trek-thru-middle-earth, @janeykath318, @star-trekkin-across-theuniverse, @books-and-cookies, @phanstarlight, @ronan-is-my-spirit-animal, @castiel-knight-of-hell, @danitayxx, @haloshornswrites, @galaxy-of-the-guardians, @mcr-danosaur, @pratigyakrishnaki, @just-another-time-lord-sorcerer


Phew that was hard, haha. Goodluck <3

  • fanon aph america: HAMBURGER!!!!!(~ ̄▽ ̄)~ ZOMG! TEXAS!!!!! RAWWWWRRRR★~★
  • canon aph america: hey dudes you wanna get some burgers or something lol
  • fanon aph america: guns!!!!!!!!!!! i can do whatEVER I WANT!!!!★★★★★
  • canon aph america: hey england bro u wanna check out my new rifle i mean some stranger dude gave it to me but its kinda cool i guess
  • fanon aph america: FREEDDDDOOOOMMM!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YEAHHHHHH (≧ω≦)
  • canon aph america: yo russia fuckin check out my goddamn neat fucking 50 states jacket its probably way better than your shit lmao

angryradfem  asked:

I wish I could meet you in real life, you're so well spoken! I aspire to write as compellingly as you

You might be disappointed given I write better than I speak. :-P 

Though it would be much the same only with more babbling, more ums, more fucks in place of ums, more obnoxious laughter and probably some goofy voices and slipping into a thick New England accent when angry.

Rainy Day (Newt Scamander X Reader)

Requested: Yes

Anon: Maybe one with Newt and f! Reader dancing and singing in their bedroom on a rainy day. Oh ,and they are married! Thank you!

Word Count: 601

A/N: Well here you go! Thanks again for the request!

*****

“Newt!” you yell from underneath a heap of blankets in the bedroom that you shared with your husband.
You let out a high pitched squeal as the thunderstorm rages on outside of your window. Lightning flashes and thunder crashes as you shudder. You hated this weather.

You hear a small chuckle and slowly emerge out of the blankets to see Newt at the doorway, leaning against it calmly.

“You called dear?” he asks with a smile and walks over to the bed. He sits down next to you. “I thought you were hiding from me, I didn’t see you under that mountain of blankets.”

“I wasn’t hiding from you, I was hiding from-”

Thunder booms outside and you shriek again, hugging Newt for dear life.

“From that.” you finish, still clinging on to him tightly.

He smiles reassuringly and hugs you back, wrapping his arms around your small, curled up figure. You two fit perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle.
He knew you hated this kind of weather and he would do anything to help you take your mind off of it.

“You know,” you say, breaking his train of thought. “You’re much more reassuring than a pile of fabric, thank you for being here.”

“Anything for you, love.”

You continue to sit like this, simply enjoying each other’s presence until another ear shattering crash of thunder breaks the peaceful sound of rain falling.
You jump in Newt’s arms and this time, even he was startled by the sudden crash.

You whimper and it breaks his heart, but suddenly an idea pops into his head.

He stands up and gently takes you hand in his, signalling for you to get up too. His hand felt warm and comforting, familiar.
You hesitantly do.

Without warning he suddenly spins you around and you smile, gracefully moving your feet and pulling him in, making him match your movements.
You danced, you leading him step by step for you knew he wasn’t the best and when it came to things like did, he tended to have two left feet. You both tripped, fumbled and fell but it was magical (A/N: No pun intended). The two of you didn’t need music, you danced to the beats of your hearts, beating together as one.

All your fears melted away and you let out a laugh of joy, with him joining in. You both fell in a heap on the bed.

“Thank you, that’s exactly what I needed.” you say, smiling and snuggling against him.
Thunder booms once more, but this time, you were unfazed. You knew that Newt was by your side.

“Although I do wish the rain would stop.” you sigh, desperately wishing for sunlight.

“It amazes me how you adore Frank and how you’ve lived in England for your entire life, yet you have a fear of storms. I don’t understand it.” he observes and you pout.

“Some things are better left unsolved. I don’t think I’ll ever be immune to the effect thunder has on me, but so be it, I’m fine as long as I have you here with me.”

“And you know that I’ll never leave you.”

“Exactly.”

The two of you continue to watch the rain fall and you start to get drowsy.

“Maybe we should go to New York again, they have better weather there than here…” you say before dozing off.

Newt just nods and starts to sing, noticing that you were soon going to be asleep. His soothing voice relaxes you and you gently fall into a deep slumber.

“Rain, rain, go away, come again another day…”

*****

Short and sweet, thanks for all the notes!

When I say that the Minions was more pro feminist than the Avengers I’m not just saying that to spite tumblr. I’m 100% serious.

Scarlet Overkill canonically was the first female supervillain in the universe. and they made a big deal about it. She gave a speech about how when she was growing up she was told she’d never be a great supervillain because she was a girl. And now she was the best there is. They didn’t try to pretend that gender equality always existed. They flat out said it didn’t and Scarlet overcoming the patriarchy in the villain community was such a great move forward and that she inspired young girls who wanted to be supervillains like her.

Her husband, Herb, even took her name. When was the last time you heard of a man taking his wife’s last name??? He gleefully and proudly answered to the name Herb Overkill. 

Not only that but they didn’t play into the trope they do with most female supervillains

She didn’t want to be young and beautiful. She wanted power and wealth. She wanted to overthrow England and become the new monarch. Yeah she cared about looking nice, but that always came second or third to her plans to be rich, powerful, and deadly.

The minions. The fucking Minions had a movie that was better feminist propaganda than the movie y’all hold so dear.

And yet y’all whine about the capitalistic marketing it’s getting despite that THE AVENGERS DID THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING. and y’all said nothing when the Hulk was on cereal and Thor on kleenex boxes.

"Don't you dare."

Author: sheetalbeetlee

Self-Harm one-shot and Sherlock takes care of you.

Author’s word: In this scenario you are John’s sister (Sherlock’s age) TRIGGER WARNING SherlockxReader

One shot:

Sherlock’s POV

I wrapped my purple silk gown around my toasty body and gathered the strength to walk out of my bedroom door and be Sherlock Holmes. It’s amusing to see how people waste their times on writing articles about a genius who solves almost every single case he receives. My roommate John is a hopeless romantic but his sister is something else,  y/n. She moved in with John when I went missing for 2 years and she’s been here since, I don’t know what it is but I feel some sort of magnetic force between her and I which makes me feel like I’m being dragged towards her and I don’t quite understand it.

I walk to the bathroom and I see y/n run out quickly with her eyes blood shot-red, tears… about 10.3 seconds fresh but her cheeks indicate more dry tears. “You alright, y/n?”  Her head jerks towards me and its insulting to see her try to lie to me but I pretend to be … ignorant to the situation.
“Yeah I’m fine, just uhm… thinking of mum and dad today… it is their death anniversary and John’s at work so I feel sort of alone but don’t worry about anything, okay” she gives me a smile which makes my heart beat exhilarate by 2x and I jolted my head to the mirror to check the last sign I was dreading. My pupils were dilated. I sighed and reminded myself that sentiment is a chemical defect; sentiment is a chemical defect, SENTIMENT IS A CHEMICAL DEFECT. I look up and see y/n sitting on her chair with her arms held together and tears flowing so I decided to go freshen up and see what I can do… what have the Watsons done to me?

Your POV

I woke up feeling like shit and disgusted, mostly because of the fact that 4 years ago my parents died in a car crashed and I fucking survived. John was in the army so he knew nothing until he sent me a letter on how he couldn’t contact our deceased parents, even though he wasn’t a soldier (though he thinks he is) being a doctor is equally stressful and the last thing he needed was more stress and an extra burden. I got out of bed and trapped myself in the bathroom, it’s 9:00am and Sherlock wouldn’t be up for another 2 hours or so. Therefore I did what I always do when I’m feeling this emotion… I bottle up the dragon and feed it acid then I unleash it onto myself. I grab the razor I hold so dear and vertically dig into my wrist three times and I watch it bleed. There was no hope in controlling the tear so I let them pool at my feet hoping it would wash away the guilt my body was feeling.
I heard shuffling and groaning from the room next door, Sherlock’s. I quickly tidied up, throwing tissues, hiding my blade, wiping blood and most importantly putting a sweater on and when I leave Sherlock is right in front of me scanning me, deducing me.

Sherlock’s POV

I entered the bathroom and it looked different, my eyes scanned the sink and I found traces of wiped blood next,  the trash can is covered with un-used tissue so I pulled out all the unused tissue and found blood soaked ones instead.  I look to the cabinet and see it slightly opened so I check to see what’s changed inside, bandages misplaced and then there was a shiny object that caught the corner of my eye via the mirror. It seemed to be hidden under the toilet; it was a razor blade that was stained with fresh blood. I put all the pieces together, the blood, bandages, the rush, the blade and most importantly y/n. My heart dropped when I figured out what I thought she did. I exited the bathroom and saw her sitting in the same place. I swallowed the lump in my throat and sat next to her grabbing her hand. Panic was printed all over her face as she didn’t know what to do.

“Y/N let me look at it please” She moved her head away from my eye-sight, like she felt ashamed. I pulled up her sleeves and saw three, symmetrical, vertical and deep cuts.  I didn’t understand and I hate not understanding! She’s beautiful, funny, has John and she’s definitely smarter than him so “why” I both thought and said out loud.
She looked at me with desperation in her eyes “Because Sherlock because… IT’S BEEN 4 YEARS! 4! I was in that car, I was playing the music and my mum was sniffing the rose my dad had just bought her and it feels like it was yesterday whenever this dreadful day comes around but it was 4 years ago. The fact that it’s her birthday makes it worse, I CANT CELEBRATE MY MUMS FUCKING BIRTHDAY WITHOUT WANTING TO KILL MY SELF” She looks at me for an answer and I have nothing to give to her.
“Have you ever lost someone Sherlock? Ever felt your heart getting ripped out of chest and being shown in front of you as you slowly and painfully die but death never comes. It would’ve been better if I died, then I wouldn’t be feeling what I feel right now” Those words honestly shocked me, a life without y/n would be… indescribable. I clear my throat and manage to swallow the lump forming in my throat “I haven’t felt what you’ve felt, y/n. But know this if you were to give up on me or John and leave us in this cursed by god world I… I mean ‘we’ wouldn’t know how to survive.” I wipe her tears away and grab the first aid kit and clean her wound. “y/n you can’t leave me…. You can’t! I need you so much you don’t know! Your smile in the morning is what kicks off my day and your horrible jokes that you send me throughout the day makes me feel special because you only send them to me… I can’t do this without you and John would probably have to be put in a coma because the thought of losing his whole family would kill him”  

Your POV

 “y/n you can’t leave me…. You can’t! I need you so much you don’t know! Your smile in the morning is what kicks off my day and your horrible jokes that you send me throughout the day makes me feel special because you only send them to me… I can’t do this without you and John would probably have to be put in a coma because the thought of losing his whole family would kill him” I look at Sherlock and see this whole new side of him… a humane side. “Sherlo-“before I could say anything he shut me up. “Please, I beg you, DO NOT EVER DO THIS AGAIN! PROMISE ME NOW Y/N” His eyes red with either sadness or anger and at this moment it could be either or both.

“I promise.”

He nods and pulls me towards him as he lays back into the couch with me on his chest.

Sherlocks POV

I pull her down with her head on my chest and my arms wrapped around her. “Shhhh y/n, sleep just sleep! Everything will be better tomorrow… it’ll be a fresh new start” I saw her close her eyes slowly and her breathing became heavier. “I love you” I patted her head and kissed it. I may be out of my comfort zone but she means more than my own comfort.

Your POV

“I love you” I smile as the last words I heard were the most soothing and surprising thing Sherlock has ever said… happy birthday, Mum.