neverm

Me: wow I’ve been feel bad for a long time now maybe I should tell someone

Brain: NO! Don’t manipulate them into feeling bad and into wasting their time trying to deal with your dramatic feelings

Me: but-

Brain: I SAID WHAT I SAID

i.
she tastes like
ruination
and
absolution
all
at once

this has
unmade
men

this has
unmade
you

yet you find yourself
with an ache
she fills
just as ripe
just as foul
as the teethmarks besmirched
upon your
branches and heart
chorusing black and bruised

ii.
she smiles and
decay blossoms forth,
an uprooting
of all
quiet repentance
you had once
bid good nights to

(as if it mattered
as if it had not
as if there was much
a difference at all)

iii.
she laughs as
her children grafted
from broken ribcages
f
a
   l
     l
from where they
were never
meant to
     b
 e

how
pray tell
does one
prune their ardor
yet remain
untamed?

iv.
she tells you
retching the rot away
only feeds the maggots
unto her depravity’s joy
within closed fists

that loving her
would be an
atrocity
in and of itself

but you rolled your shoulders back
and held your head high
and you breathed

i
love
you

v.
you remind yourself:

adam,
remember
the
venom

adam,
it is neither
milk
nor
honey

adam,
remember
this
well

vi.
she whispers
mine,
a deafening rite
for she swallows
the
serpent
whole

you echo
yours,
a soft desecration
for there is
no
other
truth


— w.k. | prompt 1: vile romance (ADAM AND EVE AS THEY WERE)

me: is ranting peacefully about the nature of Boys, in a flow of thought of anger, frustration, and deep contemplation over the way toxic masculinity manifests in variations

she: oh haha i kNOW right but not MY BOYFRIEND he is SO SWEET he would NEVEr

me, whose life-giving rant has now been interrupted: what the fuck shannon

Listen listen listen. I am Demi-Pan. And I just want to find some wholesome posts and art of my sexual identity and what not but y'all plague the ace and bi community with harmful and negative discourse and I’m tired of it. Please get a life! We get it! You hate yourselves! That’s why you’re trying to isolate certain people from the LGBT+ community– but they belong, we belong and you’re just going to have to find a new hobby.

✧   Apology: I Will be there

Title: I Will be there

Pairing: Yunhyeong x Reader

Genre: Angst, Romance

Length: ~1700

A/N: Most of you voted for Hanbin but Yun was second place on the poll and since Bella is gonna post Hanbin soon, i thought i won’t let you guys wait any longer. So see this as a little pre-gift for all so many new followers ♥♥ THANK YOU.

✧ ✦ ✧

It should have been a beautiful feeling, when the person you loved asked you to date them, right? It was supposed to make your heart twitch in excitement and tingle in your stomach to let you feel what it really meant to have “butterflies in one’s stomach”. However when Song Yunhyeong, your best friend who you had known all your life, finally had asked you to date him that day, it was hurting. Because you knew the real reason behind it. Because his heart still longed for her and as much as you tried to reach it, your feelings were not enough to get a hold of it.

“Yes”, you had answered, hoping that one day you might could.

✧ ✦ ✧

“I love you”, you confessed in a whisper as you looked down, not being able to look into his eyes. You were scared, scared that you could see the truth in his eyes. The truth that he didn’t love you. It was a beautiful night. The stars were shining down on you and you weren’t sure if it was just your imagination but today it looked like there were even more stars on the picture-like sky to support the beauty of the words you spoke.

He didn’t reply.

Silence wrapped around you and all you could hear was the rustling of the trees and bushes. With each second that passed, the silence grew as much as the fear that nested in the corner of your heart. “Ahh, neverm–”, Yunhyeong got a hold of your hand, caressing it lightly before interlocking each finger with each other. It left your breathless somehow, although it was something so simple. He pulled you closer. Slowly, so slow that your heart was running a stupid marathon over and over again. His touch felt so calming and warm, it was the only thing that kept you standing that whole time. 

Keep reading

I came for charity. Left with a number!

Hi I read your blog like the morning paper! Let me tell you! I love everything you do, as a Black woman I’m in my 20s and loving KPop and KHipHop, I’m glad you exist! and I’m ready to share my own story time!

oh and my step dad is Japanese by the way this has nothing to do with my story, I just wanted to add that in lol!

So, two months ago, when I went to a charity event with my mom and sister, I met this guy, I’ll call him B, B was one of the guys doing charity for the event as well as us, so we had to check in and get our name tags and stuff, so I’m one of the first to get my name tag, so there was time to kill! He was right next to me in line, literally on my right side. We introduced ourselves and he had an accent, in the beginning, I didn’t know what it was, and then I realized, Ohh! this is the world wide charity group and his team is from South Korea, they were here on a working visa, (he told me all of that) and his passion for this charity was soooo beautiful! Seeing a man that passionate and with a big heart with helping others, it's such a turn on! I was swooning on hearing him talk so passionately about his cause and seeing how much he cared about mine. And he was sexy, I’m not all about looks, more about what’s on the inside that counts, but he was the most handsome man I’ve ever seen! He’s a few years younger than me, but he seems much older and mature, but we both look young lol. So we had to go our separate ways after getting our name tags. But I did look over  to see him cut off a piece of white box, but I didn’t pay any attention til later, I’ll get to that.

I go talk to our team and start setting up the booth and then I hear someone call my name, and I was thinking, whose that? what happened? I turn back and it’s B, he comes running up to me, telling me, I’ve dropped my hat, and without thinking, I told him, “Oh! Thank you.” and he just smiled. I was trying not to be all extra and get all happy and blush,, but I still did! fuck it! and then….I remembered wait a minute! I did NOT have a hat…..so I looked at the hat, about to putt it on anyway, even though it’s not my hat, as I turn it around and adjust the strap, I see that it’s one of his charity hats, so I’m thinking ohhhh  he’s giving me a free hat, awww and then a folded thick paper falls out!! It was more like a cut out square from a box.  So I picked it up, thinking it’s just a note they’re giving out that comes with the hat, I opened the paper and it’s a huge smiley face with a number written inside the smiley face, so I’m thinking, oh!! that’s so cute and personal that they’re giving out their charity/business phone number handwritten with their hats!  so I’m thinking nothing of it I folded it back up and put it in my purse behind the table. I wore the hat though, because I thought it was so sweet coming from him.

So as we’re working, busy, I kept stealing glances at him, mesmerized by his handsomeness, he had tan skin, white shirt and even white jeans, his hair looked prettier than mine, I swear, it’s like when he walked by that huge fan at the event his hair  was blowing in the wind, it was sexy but I laughed because it looked like he was in a movie or modeling on a runway. I kept staring at him, it’s the other way around in my case! But I finally got the courage to….go to the bathroom lol! and I say that because I was avoiding him, the bathroom was close by their booth, so I had to walk right in front of him and just as I’m contemplating to go, day dreaming, I see him at the corner of my eyes waving his hands at me trying to get my attention! I was so shocked! I just laughed, waved and smiled and then he gave me a thumbs up lol he’s so cute.

So that pumped me up to get out that comfort zone and go to the damn bathroom before I pee on myself lol! so I sprinted to the bathroom in my heels, and as I jog past him, I looked at him and he was looking dead at me!!! he did this little sexy eyebrow raise as in he’s saying “Hello” to me with his face without saying anything and I said “Helloooooo” as I run past and he giggled. so I went in the bathroom and then sat there, day dreaming, thinking what would I do/say to him when I walk past his booth again and as I leave I saw this girl opening her hat from his booth and there wasn’t a paper in her hat with a smily face and phone number, so I was thinking, shit!…did he? no! he didn’t! he doesn’t like me like that…we just met, although I felt chemistry with him, I didn’t think he liked me enough to give me his phone number, so I walked out slowly to see if he was at his booth around the corner and he wasn’t so, I was like yes! thank God, because at this point I got nervous, knowing he possibly gave me his phone number, and as I’m walking to my booth, I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned around and it was him!!!!! I was nervous but so happy! (I know one minute Im avoiding him, the next I want his attention lol).

I didn’t know what to say, but he asked me hows my booth going, and then small talk and THEN that’s when he brought up the number!!!!! He was hesitant, but he goes, “Paper….” and I say “Huh?” acting like I didn’t know, he says, “Did you get the paper?” and I play dumb and say “What paper you need paper” ok I’m wrong but I wanted him to confess basically lol, he was about to say nevermind it laughing  he goes “neverm….” but he says “ In your hat I gave you MY number.”  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So it was HIS number! I knewwwww it! so I told him, “Omg (yeah i said “omg” smh lol!) I didn’t know that’s your number, is it for me? I can call you and annoy you right?” I was joking to lighten the mood and I was scared he was going to say something like, it’s an accident, give it back to me, but he said to me, “Please do! I didn’t think you got it I kept looking over at you to see if you got it” omg he was checking on me,, and I didn’t even see him! as much as I stared at him…damn!! he’s good!! I told him I put it in my purse safely and the big smile on his face *swoon* he told me had to go back and he’ll talk to me in a bit and then he gave me a high five and said “pretty” HE CALLED ME, MY ASS….“PRETTY”!!

At this event we had food, so I took a break and got a hot dog and I saw in the corner he and his friends (all are from Korea) were staring dead at me, so hard! I didn’t want to turn around but I was taking it all in, being all extra, drinking out of my straw sexy,, flipping my hair and walking all slow, putting on a show, being so extra, and I accidentally looked over while I was fixing my hair and I was right they all were looking dead at me and they all except for B turned their heads lol but B was looking at me and he gave me a sexy smirk and then looked down eating his food!!! I…just! I have no idea what they were talking about, but he was blushing and it was cute and one of his friends turned around and waved at me and B told him to “stop” in Korean, the little Korean I knew, I knew what that meant lol, the way he said it was so funny, I was laughing at them.

We got busy later on to the point where even when we past, he still managed to say “Hi to me” and each time he did, he said my name, “Hi___” and I loved that, he made sure to smile at me each time we past, and the last time we passed by one another, my arms were swinging and he lightly grabbed my right hand , like he was trying to hold my hand, but before that he joking bumped into me and he winked at me *__* he really had me all emotional and happy! I was slowly falling for him way too hard.

As we were packing up to leave, his group got done first (damn! they were fast). I didn’t think he would say anything before he left, so I was nervous and counting down the time he comes over and as I cleaned, I waited and waited getting all sad, thinking he’s going to leave without saying bye to me and a million things were going in my mind thinking he didn’t care about me, he was flirting just to flirt, I was getting sad the more his team cleaned and it was looking empty but then!

He scared the s-h-i-t out of me!!! he said “boo” and grabbed the sides of my back, almost touching my hips! I let out such a big scream everyone looked at me, they thought something happened lol but I told him “You scared me!!!” while smiling and I jokingly hit him on his shoulder and that smile…he laughed and said, “sorry sweety” wait a damnn miinute! he called me “sweety” ok!! SWEETY! I felt like we were dating even people I didn’t know were walking by us saying “oooohhhhh” lol! because he started holding my freaking hand!!! and he was telling me, “please, don’t forget call me ok” and he reached in his pocket and gave me ANOTHER paper lol and he grabbed my other hand and put it in my hand and while he was holding both my hands he was saying it was nice meeting me, and that they don’t leave until a few more days, he probably won’t get to hang out (with me) because he’s on a working visa and he’ll be doing just that, working, but he had fun today and he told me thank you, I was thinking for what, but I said “No problem” not knowing what he thanked me for, but he was soooo nice! and we said bye! to each other.

Obviously I called him, even though I failed a few times because I didn’t dial it right lol. I’ll just say he’s soooo nice and funny, I ended up downloading a chat/phone app and we face time from there, so long distance costs $. We’re not dating…yet! But we do flirt…A LOT! And we’re gettiing to know each other and since he’s back in Korea, we didn’t get to hang, but I’m planing on visiting Japan (with dad) and HOPEFULLY Korea anyway this December break and I can’t wait. It’s like we’re both waiting to ask each other out, I might just text it out in heart felt message or mail it to him! Oh! he’s mailing me a surprise it’s suppose to be here next week and I have noooo clue what it is! I have a feeling he’s going to ask me out 1st!!!


Look, I felt like I was dreaming, I wasn’t going to come to Friday’s charity event and wait until Saturday, but I’m glad I did because I met him!!! This paper looks a little busted now because I’ve had it every where, but this is the picture of it, I’m keeping it for ever. :)

anonymous asked:

What kind of stuff is send on the "Queer Squad"?

Oh man this is my favorite ask ever. Ok, ok, i’ll try to give you a quick summary (supposing this is based on this post of mine)

  • Helen doesn’t give a fuck about timezones. She will wake up at 2AM with an amazing pun and wouldn’t hesitate to send it to the group.
    Aline would groan besides her every time she sees her tapping on her phone while grinning like a maniac.
  • Helen sends horrible puns. All the time. Like, it’s 3AM, Alec’s phone pings, he internally groans  and when he opens Helen’s text, already dreading what he’s going to read…..“how do you make someone holy” he stares at the ceiling, and wonders if he could get away with ignoring her. Before he can think it through, his phone screen brightens with a new text “ you beat the hell out of them lol”. He tries not to laugh, and text a “It’s 3AM Helen, and that was terrible”  Aline quickly comes into her gf defense “that was brilliant <3” even if she had a similar reaction at first.
  • oh that brings me to Helen and Aline sending each other compliments all the time in the group chat, even if they’re standing next to each other in real life. Alec regrets saying Jace and Clary were the most cheesy couple because that title obviously belongs to Aline and Helen tbh
  • Because the island is boring af, Aline spends half of her time reading books she finds online. She sends Alec a lot of recs, which he would later ask Magnus to “buy” after a quick research on his phone. (He makes the mistake of not googling 50 shades of grey. The call Aline receives in the middle of the night by a flustered Alec was the highlight of her week, as she tells everyone who is willing to listen. She obviously keeps sending him ridiculous books in between the real recommendations, just to read Alec ranting about “ breaking his trust” and “what the hell is a fanfiction….neverming i don’t want to know”) 
  • Basically Alec and Aline being big bookworms in the chat group while Helen whines about Aline not paying her any attention even though they are in the same room, and honestly that Achilles book wasn’t that great anyways
  • (Alec deletes her from the group for a few hours when she says that)
  • Helen found out about twitter a few months before the island, and when #GrowingUpWithSiblings trends, she just keeps sending screenshots of the tweets, which ends up with them sharing stories about their little siblings. Aline quickly changes the topic to the new kind of flower she found growing outside of the house when they start talking about Max and Mark. 
  • (Sometimes Helen and Alec have private chats about it. How much Helen misses her siblings back home, how many times Alec wakes in the middle of the night with the need of calling Izzy just to check on her, how they wish they had been better siblings)
  • Helen is meme trash????? She doesn’t know what that is at per se, but she keeps sending “ frog” pictures to them. Aline finds them hilarious, and Alec barely understands them but okay fine, there is something funny about it (Especially when Helen uses them as reaction pictures)  
  • Sometimes they watch stuff together??? Magnus is horrified when he finds out they don’t have a TV on their house, so he makes one appear there (technically there aren’t rules against it soooo). Anyway, they end up binge watching trash shows just for fun (“Shut up Alexander, Project Runway is amazing! The thing they did with the rain and the colors!? You would never” “Gotta be with Hel this time Alec” ) and sometimes more serious shows that Simon has recommended Izzy, like Game of Thrones.
  • Helen’s favorite character is Arya, Aline loves Daenerys, and Alec is a sucker for the Starks
  • (They change the group name to “Ned Stark deserved better” for a few days after his death)
  • Helen loves sending audios. Alec barely hears them because ain’t nobody has time for that, and Aline has to summarize them most of the time. 
  • Alec drunk texts them all the time???? He doesn’t make any sense, they’re usually random emojis. Aline and Helen find them hilarious and try to guess what he’s trying to say (“A cat emoji, Chairman meow did something!” “No that’s an angry cat, he clearly means church. He misses him, awww Xander, you have a heart bb”)
  • THEY CALL HIM XANDER FOR NO LOGICAL REASON AND ALEC PRETENDS TO HATE IT
  • (He loves the silly nickname. Alec was a nickname given by Max because he just couldn’t pronounce Alex as a baby, so it gives him nice memories) 
  • AND HELEN AND ALINE USE A LOT OF ABBREVIATIONS. Alec has a slang dictionary on his bookmarks because he has an old man soul and otherwise wouldn’t understand then.
  • Alec sends them pictures of animals all the time. Random pigeons in the street, dogs in the park, and lots of chairman of course.
  • ONE DAY ALINE SENDS HIM A PRIVATE MESSAGE AND HE’S SO WORRIED BECAUSE SHE RARELY TALKS OUTSIDE THE GROUP??? AND WHEN SHe tells him that she’s thinking about proposing to Helen he just can’t stop grinning to his phone, not even while he tell Magnus the news
  • Helen sends obnoxious birthday messages. I’m talking about five minute long audios with her singing happy birthday in ten different languages
  • Aline can be heard in the background giggling every time Helen starts making up words because she doesn’t actually know every language
  • Alec secretly loves them even if he complains they’re obnoxious and that by the angel Helen, it’s 5AM! 
  • Aline takes pictures of tall trees all the time with the caption “I can’t believe you came to visit us!!”
  • Alec has yet to found an object that reminds him of her.
  • Helen jokingly suggested a pair of scissors.
  • Alec understood the joke after a two hour hunt (it might have included him asking Jace what he thought it meant, and Jace laughing to his face and almost getting killed)
  • Of course he deleted Helen for being innapropiate
  • Helen sends him a private message saying how he should “take that stick out of his butt” with lot of winky emojis
  • Alec blocks her