I should’ve known that I wouldn’t get anything done after watching the music video. I just…I have a lump in my throat and I have no idea why. Like, the whole thing was gorgeous and incredible, which I absolutely expected, but those few moments when she is in hold by herself…I just keep going back to those. They’re limited and only last for a few seconds, but….ugh, my heart.
There are monsters living in my house.
I’m one of them.
I didn’t used to be.
But one morning I heard Darkness knocking on my front door,
pounding his fist,
demanding to be let in.
At first I ignored it.
I tried to wait out the frantic knocks like they came from an old lover you wouldn’t wish to see.
I tried to silence the echoes of his voice.
But I grew tired of hearing him sneer at me or sweetly ask to be let in.
So each day my feet brought me closer to the door.
He was still outside, and in some ways, I was still waiting for him to come back- like the old lover you just couldn’t get over, or a habit that never left.
It was in those moments that I realized it was so much harder to keep Darkness out than it was to just open the door… It took too much strength I didn’t have and too much effort to hold on to Light.
So I replaced her with Darkness.
I welcomed him instead.
Rage showed up.
Hate. Lust. Greed. Carelessness.
Cruelty. Envy. Deceit. Selfishness.
One by one, I opened the door for them all.
I let them in my house.
I let them become my confidantes and companions.
Until, eventually I no longer could tell myself apart from them.
You hang around certain people for long enough and you start mirroring them.
Their addictions, behaviors, movements and choices.
When you hang around certain people, you become influenced.
Well I am living with monsters.
I chose to. I opened the door.
And it is inevitable that once I betrayed Goodness and Light and kicked them out, there would be more room in my home for the new friends I acquired.
The home is where the heart is.
But my heart is housing so many of my wicked lovers, friends, and enemies that I no longer feel safe here. My own heart is no longer a sanctuary, but a prison.
There are monsters living in my house now.
I am one of them.
i jus wanna say that i really love all of u guys!!! it’s been so fun blogging about z and getting all excited over him w y’all over the past 3 years there’s truly never been a dull moment thus far so thank u all for making my life so entertaining 💕
We are the only things staying still in this place,
The world is busy moving outside the window,
But I will just lie here.
Happy to wear nothing but your kisses.
To live on the way the sunlight
creeps across the room.
Morning through to night
and a song for every moment in between.
I can hear your heartbeat-
Like the rhythm of the universe is telling me;
Enjoy this moment,
Take it for granted,
It is yours.
When the sun goes down,
When you are gone,
When this moment is over,
And memories will never do it justice.
Know that it was yours.
Remember what you had,
What you experienced
and nothing can take that away.”
The moment before the moment it’s my favourite place to be // h.p. (just a small strange something for @ava-carlisle )
As sad as this video is given that it feels like a goodbye, I love the 1D fandom so much during times like these. When we stop the arguing and just enjoy the boys and their music and gush over cute moments. This is seriously the greatest.