never too old for shit

anonymous asked:

Punk!Phil and religious!Dan but they're just casually cuddling and giggling and making fun of the old people who keep sending Phil dirty looks

🌊 Phil randomly shows up at his house while he’s doing homework, refusing to leave until Dan goes on a date with him.

🌊 They go to the mall, which Dan makes fun of him for and asks if they’re a bit old for that, but Phil insists “you’re never too old to buy shit.”

🌊 They spend hours just walking around and talking, their intertwined hands swinging between them as they move.

🌊 Phil drags him into several stores, a few of them that make Dan nervous because all of the people in them have tattoos and dark clothes, but Phil just chuckles and mutters “my people”.

🌊 Dan insists they go to a bookstore next, because of that traumatic experience, and Phil agrees just because he kind of loves the way Dan’s eyes light up when he looks at books.

🌊 Phil tries to kiss him against a shelf because he really can’t resist, but Dan keeps pushing him away gently and frowning. Phil pouts. “Why won’t you let me kiss you? Dannyy.”

🌊 Dan doesn’t answer for awhile until finally he mutters, “Because we’re in a bookstore and if I kiss you I’ll want to make out.”

🌊 They get frozen yogurt from a stand and sit on a bench, and Dan rests his head in Phil’s lap while Phil plays with his hair.

🌊 Several old people give them weird looks, especially Phil, but it’s easy to ignore them, for Dan at least.

🌊 Once an old lady glared at him, clearly scoping out his obvious punk appearance, and he shouted at her. He laughed, calling out- “oh yeah, well I’ve got this catch, what do you have to show for yourself?” Pointing to Dan, and Dan smacked him, hiding his red face in Phil’s shirt.

🌊 And once a man was clearly staring at them, the way their fingers were intertwined and how Phil kept playing with strands of Dan’s hair. Dan noticed, and his face inflamed.

🌊 “it’s just not… it’s not fair!” He muttered, frowning at Phil, who shrugged.

🌊 “It sucks, but it is how it is. You’re not gonna change his mind, baby.”

🌊 Dan pressed his lips together, frowning at his hands. “The Bible says love thy neighbour.”

🌊 “Well why don’t you go over there and quote the Bible to him, I’m sure that’ll do the trick.”

🌊 Dan frowns harder before looking up. “Kiss me.”

🌊 Phil doesn’t hesitate to grab Dan’s shirt, kissing him open mouthed and softly. It lasts for about a minute before he pulls back.

🌊 “Why…?” Phil began, but Dan glanced over at where the man used to be standing and snickered. Phil grinned. “You sly little shit.”

🌊 Dan fell asleep in Phil’s car on the way back, they had been walking all day, Phil didn’t blame him. His head slumped onto Phil’s shoulder and Phil couldn’t help but glance at him every now and then.

🌊 He carried Dan to the door bridal style, kicking it as a form of knocking.

🌊 “I’ve got your son,” he said when Dan’s dad answered the door, glaring at him. Phil just grinned.

🌊 Dan’s parents let Phil carry him upstairs. Dan woke up halfway up the stairs, clinging to Phil’s neck.

🌊 Phil set him down outside his door, kissing his cheek because Dan never liked to kiss on the mouth in his house, but Dan pulled him back, kissing him hard for two seconds.

🌊 “Thank you,” he muttered. “That was really fun.”

🌊 Phil nodded, smiling fondly at him. “So I guess mall dates aren’t so bad after all?”

@batsnotbutterflies based loosely on your adventures with your girlfriend lol

People sometimes talk about Murphy like she’s too old to participate.

But you know what?

Give me Murphy in her 60′s kicking ass

Give me Murphy in her 70′s kicking ass

Give me Murphy in her 80′s with a high powered rifle from Kincaid, backing Harry up from a vantage point bitching about “Kids these days…” while dealing with supernatural punks.

Murphy with gorgeous silver hair rocking a leather jacket and a motor bike, being “Great Aunt Murphy” to her family.

Murphy wearing wrinkles with her scars, peering at someone from behind glasses with a look that could kill a man a third of her age.

Murphy’s complaining “I’m too old for this shit” but never stopping. Being told she needs to slow down, so she thinks about retiring for like 2 weeks, before deciding sitting still is going to kill her faster than moving.

Murphy will NEVER be to old to participate.

She’ll be dismantling and cleaning guns in her coffin at 114 before she’s to old to participate.

TF drunk headcanons:

Cyclonus smiles

Tailgate likes to arm wrestle everything and dance on tables

Whirl is willing to be arm wrestled. Also slips stronger spirits into others drinks “for free”

Rung will psychoanalyse l o u d l y also for free.

Skids thinks he’s the smoothest ball room dancer. No one, not even the furniture is safe from fancy foot work

Nautica had a REALLY LOUD LAUGH

Rodimus drinks too much too quickly professes his love to everybody, cries, throws up, disappears for half an hour and then reappears with no memory of the last 50 minutes and another drink in his hand

Drift is the one who looks after Rodimus. The designated driver

Ratchet is a miserable fart, doesn’t dance spends the whole night at the bar complaining that he’s too old for this shit.

Megatron a classy drunk, never hungover.

Minimus Ambus has memorised perfectly one dance routine, repeats over and over.

theguardian.com
Bob Odenkirk: ‘All people are sad clowns. That’s the key to comedy’
The actor and comedian, 54, who made his name in Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul, on the joy of being older, why he’s way too responsible and what he owes Monty Python
By Rebecca Nicholson

“There are plenty of fuck-ups in showbiz. It would never happen to me, because I’m too old to buy into that shit. I’m very aware that when I’m being celebrated it’s as a commodity, not as a human being. For younger people who have a touch of fame, they can’t tell the difference. They think their actual self is being celebrated, and that’s not the case.”

I freaking love him

anonymous asked:

93, lol.

93. “You didn’t just wake me up at 2am because you were ‘in the mood’.”

Ah hah! One that isn’t angst!


If there is one thing that Leonard has learned in life, it’s that sleep is a precious commodity. He’d managed to live through residency once, and he’d never thought he’d have to do it again. Unfortunately for him, Starfleet required all of their medical officers to go through the same training, including on-call shifts and residency. 

He’s too old to be doing this shit again.

Bed has never looked better. Leonard collapses into the hard dorm bed, the mattress feeling softer than clouds as he burrows his face into his pillow and passes out, still mostly clothed. 

He’s not sure how much time has passed, but he wakes to the warmth of a familiar pair of lips pressing against his shoulder, his naked shoulder. When had he gotten naked?

Leonard groans, and rolls over onto his back to find Jim grinning down at him. “Oh good, you’re awake,” he says brightly, taking advantage of Leonard new position to trail kisses down his neck. 

“Jim? What the fuck? What time is it?” Leonard asks groggily, flailing around in an attempt to locate a clock display. 

He frowns when he finds it, and prays that he’s misreading the numbers, even though there’s no possible way he could be. “Oh hell. You did not just wake me up at 2am because you were “in the mood”,” he half growls, half groans as Jim’s lips trail lower, his tongue flicking out against one of Leonard’s nipples. 

“If I said ‘no, of course not, Bones’, would you believe me?” Jim asks, tilting his head up to meet Leonard’s incredulous look with a very self satisfied smirk. “Just lay back and let it happen, Bones. I’ll take good care of you.”

So anyone wonder how long they will be shipping Kakavege? I mean I’ve been shipping them since I was 15 and now I’m 30 and so I sit here wondering will I still be shipping them when I hit 40, 50 ,60 years old?

The answer is : He’ll the fuck yass I will!!!! 😂😂😂😂

Hubby was like if you ever stop shipping them I’m gonna wondering you’re sick or something lmao

honestly i wish i could leave this fucking fandom and watch this show in peace bc y'all are making it really hard to enjoy ANYTHING these days… i mean criticism is important and i’m all here for calling the writers/etc. out on their bullshit when it’s justified but this rn is just so ????? ?? like i get that you wanted that scene to be longer i did too but comparing it to 2x07 when we know that this is gonna affect magnus throughout the rest of 2B makes me so angry… this scene had such an open end and with what’s coming next week i’m sure it’s gonna be brought up again in some way… just… calm down for a second ffs

anonymous asked:

Imagine though if in ten years Rin is all "hey check out these gold medals, Haru's only got silver and bronze" (not in a mean way, in a good-natured way) and someone jokes that "maybe it's because Haru lets you win because he doesn't want to see you cry" and then Rin's eyes go dark and he spends the next two weeks harassing Haru and issuing challenges and Haru's like "I THOUGHT WE WERE OVER THIS WE ARE WAY TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT"

rin will never grow up i am super convinced
giant baby child
smooches his bby face