never thought i'd ever feel this way but i might having this so called

anonymous asked:

That video was so soft tho in my opinion, I love how they talked about dan and kept adrressing him as if he were their own child. They also made a few random comments here and there that really made me think about their relationship and their future. I'd love to hear your thoughts, you are way better at articulating things! :D

YES dude (though idk about me being better this summary is SPOT ON!!!!) lots of cute moments and parenting insights in this. i loved it!!!!! i’m just gonna copy paste my running commentary while i watched hahah :)

  • ok right off the bat I’m just. laughing. dan’s words in the intro are so confusing hahaha. “‘won’t somebody please think of the children?’ we’re not. too late for all of you.” ……… what? i mean i think they’re referencing this clip from the simpsons and i think dan is trying to say they’re not ‘thinking of us,’ like to make a joke that they’re inconsiderate or that their content is bad (in the way he always does when he’s like ‘i’m so sorry this is a complete disaster,’) but instead he just sounds very much like he’s saying he and phil aren’t thinking of ‘children’ right now, like not thinking of having children right now esp bc he mumbles the ‘too late for all of you’ bit so it was all jst very jarring and i began this video w heart racing and eyes wide, ready to ~pick up on anything~ and for daniel howell and his dumb way of speaking to always keep me on my toes ugh what a mess
  • regardless. phil sassing dan at the beginning for talking over him,,,, yes. ‘i’m trying to do an intro! let me finish!’ the sweetest words in the english language
  • dan’s summary of toddlers: they run around, they get very angry, and they slowly learn to poop
  • musings on the audience: we’re ‘ready to pick up on anything’ and we ‘can see it all’ love this self-aware, multi-layered, meta humor, kings of comedy
  • 1:47 dan saying ‘how many years would you have to use a toilet and not clean it,’ made me confront the reality that dan cleans toilets at least once in a while. stars! they’re just like us
  • ‘dil get your hand down that u-bend stat’ is honestly so funny. phil’s giggle when dan is ‘not particularly comfortable’ is so cute
  • their sharing in a bit of nostalgia for their daycare memories and bonding over the similarity of their experiences. stop. i love how dan knows the distance from wokingham to manchester off the top of his head and characterizes their age gap as ‘a couple of years.’ i feel queasy
  • dil is werrrrqing it according to dan. he is also party miami dad
  • phil acknowledging the existence of the ripped jeans and envisioning them turning into ripped shorts. didn’t know i needed that. very into it
  • dan committing to wearing a crop top in the event that he ever has abs. can phil please tell him to stick to his guns about subverting society’s standards for male beauty and to therefore go ahead and rock a crop top regardless of his abdominal musculature, if that’s what he wants??? ?
  • phil actually hates the crop top and shorts. dan says it’s amazing and starts to criticize phil (‘phil stop be—‘ in his typical higher-pitched tone of indignation) but then gets thoroughly distracted by dil doing crunches lmao
  • this might be really weird but I’m obsessed w watching the way phil uses his hands when he gets excited. just like. watch his hands from 4:38 to 5:15 it’s the most heartwarming thing u will likely ever see. i think in this vid in particular he was even more expressive than usual and i noticed he clasped his hands near his chin or grabbed his own face a number of times and it was so cute. phil lester, actual king of gesticulation. i always wonder if this tendency is natural for him or something that he kind of forces in order to sort of appear more animated/performance-y when he’s filming (cause something about it sort of feels like a nervous tic at times!!! but idk!!!! body language experts, weigh in!!!)
  • 5:37 dan is confused then starts singing along and they make weird noises i have no idea what they’re referencing and i have never hated their connection more. i feel so left out
  • dan’s idea of a school-aged child is obsession w playstation and pokemon
  • dab is sprinting maniacally and in my current state of mind i find it fucking hilarious
  • dan has mentioned dil’s abs like 10 times in  7 mins
  • i like how they both immediately agree w no discussion that creativity is the most desirable trait of those options
  • also cheerful. dan says ‘i like cheerful’ and fuck I’m soft
  • dan is genuinely emotional about child dab which is so cute
  • i love how actually disappointed phil is that this child’s fav animal is a frog and how dan immediately comes to his defense. this feels like eerily realistic insight into a situation dnp would def get into with their child
  • ‘easy beans’ phil owns my heart
  • they buy dab an art table thing and phil says ’we need to make him the most creative child possible.’ i love that with minimal discussion they immediately want to get stuff for dab to encourage his talents it reminds me of dan ranting about what makes a good parent (someone who equips their child to pursue their passions)
  • dan says he needs to be connected to the internet and phil hesitates bc he’s so young and dan is immediately outraged. and then phil immediately caves. this also felt so insightful to me, like we were watching them kind of talk out their real life approach to parenting and exposing their child to technology 
  • 16:01 their enthusiasm about dab’s drawing like y’all i know this is a sim but they’re rly treating it like a real kid and it’s just too vividly mirroring how they would obviously react to their real child’s first ever drawing and I’m emotional
  • phil immediately suggests hanging it up and they both have a long awwwwwww aiwejroaiejroaier this is Too Much
  • omg the exchange at 16:54 about cake made me wanna die i feel like first off it is v rare to hear phil call dan by his name in videos (other than when he’s exasperated and yells ‘dan!!!!’ as an interjection bc dan is being a shit) so it immediately just felt like a more personal moment and then the way that dan was like ofc we can and must cater to ur random craving and order cake delivery immediately after filming like he just rolls w it and it’s just such a spontaneous and sweet little moment and godddddd they def curled up and ate cake after they were done w the video, on their new couch, in their new fancy lounge, in their new home, bc they can just do that. fucking hell their domestic bliss is giving me so much envy my heart physically ACHES with it
  • ‘baking a cake in your bikini that’s quite iconic’ phil is just out here empowering women to love themselves
  • then dan butting in with ‘what a milf’ nice, it’s been forever since he’s been that explicit about female attraction i was shook. i like that he immediately asks if he’s allowed to say it and phil immediately shuts him down. i mean there’s a slight chance that’s just for comedic value but it feels sort of in line w the notion that they (esp dan) have consciously toned down and all but eliminated female attraction mentions (or sexualization) from their dialogue in videos bc they’re aware of their mostly female audience (this speculation aside in all honesty why is eliza’s bod low-key bangin)
  • 18:16 when dan is like walking thru his vision for dab as the social arty kid and evan as the shy genius he is literally writing fic in his head idk why he’s even tryna make fun of tumblr’s interest in this ship he’s the biggest stan out there all of the dab x evan entries on wattpad will be by dan under various pseudonyms
  • para-BOWL-uhs is this how brits say parabola or is dan just terrible
  • 19:54 dan wants them to hook up confirmt

lol fuck this video was good and dnp are going to be fucking amazing dads idec that’s the only conclusion from this video that matters

(sims #39)

Garrett and Marian - Legacy Banters
  • Marian: Well... not quite how I imagined this family reunion going. I was envisioning more hugs and maybe some wine over dinner. Not attempted assassinations
  • Carver: Really? You think this is so abnormal for our family?
  • Marian: Well you got me there
  • ---
  • Bethany: What could our father have to do with this mess? The Carta have had more than enough time to try and find us
  • Garrett: I imagine that having two Champions of Kirkwall with the last name Hawke may have tipped them off
  • Bethany: But it's been three years since you and sis defeated the Arishok. Why wait that long?
  • Marian: Well I don't know about you, but if I was going to go after the people who killed an Arishok then I'd probably want to make a little time for planning, wouldn't you?
  • Carver: Do these morons strike you as the sensible type?
  • Marian: Two points in one day Carver? Don't tell me the Templars are actually drilling some wit into that skull of yours
  • Carver: *laughs* At least /my/ wit makes a point, dear sister
  • Bethany: Ooh, that had to hurt
  • Garrett: Do you need some healing for that one, Marian?
  • Marian: Oh shove off, all of you
  • ---
  • Garrett: And we're back in the Deep Roads
  • Marian: Oh it's not that bad. I mean... Look at all the... Ugh, no, you're right this is terrible. Let's all promise never to go to the Deep Roads after this. Three times is enough
  • Garrett: Three times? When was the second?
  • Marian: Um... well...
  • Carver and Bethany: *sing song voices* Somebody's in trouble
  • ---
  • Bethany: Varric wrote to me the other day
  • Garrett: Telling another of his stories, I bet. Was it the one about the high dragon, because that didn't really-
  • Bethany: No. He was giving me an update. On you, actually. I was... worried, so I wrote to him and asked
  • Garrett: I'm fine Beth. Really
  • Bethany: No you're not. Not yet. But I know you, and if anyone can get past it, you can
  • Garrett: Thank you
  • ---
  • Carver: You might want to be watch yourself, Garrett
  • Garrett: How come?
  • Carver: Ever since you sided with Orsino the other day, there's been... Rumours. Meredith isn't happy with you, and it's only because she allows it that you're still free
  • Garrett: So is she going to have me dragged to the Circle, or is she getting the Brand ready now?
  • Fenris: Don't say that
  • Carver: I would never let it get that far. But I thought I'd warn you, just in case you were thinking about making her mad
  • Garrett: I appreciate you telling me Carver. Don't worry. I'll be careful
  • ---
  • *after completing Malcolm's Will*
  • Marian: So... the stonework down here is... lovely, isn't it?
  • Carver: Not now, Mary
  • Marian: I was only... Alright
  • ---
  • Marian: Are you okay, Gary?
  • Garrett: I'm fine... Just...
  • Marian: He loved you. And Bethany. He'd be so proud of you
  • Garrett: You sound so sure of that
  • Marian: Of course I am. Because it's true. And don't let that nasty shit in your head tell you otherwise - it's a liar, remember
  • Garrett: *chuckles* Alright
  • Bethany: Be careful sister, people might think you've got a heart after all
  • Marian: *dramatically* Oh no! *clutches chest* I think... I think I'm getting feelings! Quick, someone beat them out of me!
  • Carver: *laughs* You be careful what you wish for sister
  • Isabela: I'd rather ride them out of you
  • Garrett: Ah, and there's the dirty line. I was starting to worry something was wrong Bela
  • Isabela: And you're as sweet as ever, Garrett
  • ---
  • Varric: Twenty silvers, that's my final offer. Take it or leave it Elf
  • Marian: What are you betting on, and why am I getting left out of it?
  • Varric: You want in? We're betting on what it'll take to get Junior and Waffles to hug
  • Garrett: *groans* You're not calling me 'Waffles' again, are you?
  • Varric: I have to. Every time I say 'Hawke' all four of you turn around. I'm being considerate
  • Carver: I bet there's /someone/ here who'd like to see him covered in syrup
  • Garrett: Carver!
  • Fenris: *embarrassed noises*
  • Isabela: Ooh, new friend-fiction idea!
  • Garrett: Don't you even dare!
  • Isabela: Too late, already dared. Can we make camp? I need to make notes
  • ---
  • Varric: Hey, Rivaini, I'm expecting royalties if that friend-fiction of yours gets published
  • Carver: When you didn't even come up with it?
  • Varric: You wouldn't have brought up syrup if I didn't call him Waffles
  • Garrett: Maker save me...
  • Bethany: And me...
  • Marian: Usually I like dirty things... But this is too far, even for me
  • Isabela: Are you saying you wouldn't like it if /I/ were covered in syrup?
  • Marian: Oh I'm sorry. I didn't realise you were my very hairy twin brother, Bela
  • Isabela: Well when you put it that way...
  • ---
  • Isabela: I always thought we were the loud ones, you know
  • Fenris: What?
  • Marian: I know right. Maybe they're just less shy about it now
  • Garrett: Do I want to know?
  • Isabela: You already know. Or did you deafen yourself?
  • Marian: To think, they don't need us shouting encouragement through the wall anymore. I'm so proud
  • Isabela: Our boys are growing up so fast. Maybe next they'll master foreplay
  • Carver: Oh Maker, I do not want to hear this
  • Bethany: Neither do I
  • Garrett: *loudly* And I would be very happy if we could stop talking about this. Right now
  • Isabela: Yeah, see. That kind of loud
  • Fenris: *deadpan* If you're so fascinated by Garrett being loud, then you must not be doing a very good job at making Marian scream, Isabela
  • Marian: Oooooooo
  • Isabela: Oh, you snarky little shit
  • Bethany: *loudly* If we could stop discussing my older brother's and sister's sex lives, I would appreciate it
  • Carver: *loudly* Oh look, more darkspawn. Let's kill them so we can stop talking about this
  • ---
  • Marian: So our choices are the nice, Tainted madman, or the mage who wants to let a darkspawn magister out of his hole in the ground? Why can we never make nice decisions, like what kind of wine to have with dinner?
  • Fenris: I agree. It is the only decision worth making
  • Marian: When you're not throwing it at the walls, I assume?
  • Fenris: That was six years ago
  • Marian: And you never offered me a glass
  • Fenris: You are recycling jokes now? Has the great Marian Hawke's wit finally lost it's edge?
  • Marian: Ooh, you are just asking for it now
  • ---
  • Varric: You okay Garrett? You've been a bit quiet since-
  • Garrett: I'm fine Varric. There's more important things to be worried about right now
  • Varric: It's not easy to realise that someone you looked up to wasn't quite what you imagined. You ever need to talk, you know where my suite is
  • ---
  • Isabela: So... is no one going to bring up the fact that Varric called Garrett by his name earlier?
  • Varric: What are you talking about Rivaini? Waffles and I were just having a friendly chat
  • Isabela: Don't bullshit me. You called him Garrett. I heard you
  • Varric: That doesn't sound like me, Rivaini
  • Marian: He called you by your name when Velasco carted you off to Castillon
  • Isabela: What?! No fair, I didn't get to hear!
  • ---
  • Bethany: Are you sure about this, brother?
  • Garrett: It has to be done
  • Bethany: I could do it. I am a Hawke after all, and a mage. You don't need to-
  • Garrett: No, Bethany
  • Bethany: But-!
  • Garrett: Bethy, if I let you use blood magic, I'd never be able to live with myself
  • Bethany: And if you do it, will you be able to live with it?
  • Garrett: I'd rather it be me than you
  • ---
  • Varric: If he pulls a dragon out of his ass, I'm leaving!
  • Marian: Oh great, and now he's almost certain to pull a dragon out of his arse! Way to go Varric
  • ---
  • Bethany: Here, you didn't get a chance to close that wound earlier
  • Garrett: Thank you
  • Fenris: I just hope it was worth it
  • Marian: Well we /did/ just kill a darkspawn magister. I can't wait to hear how Varric tells this one
  • Varric: Well I doubt I'll have to exaggerate a damn thing, considering how weird this shit is
  • Fenris: That isn't what I meant...
  • Garrett: I'd have avoided it if I could, but someone had to. And if it meant sparing my little sister from that...
  • Fenris: I understand. But... Please, just be more careful from now on
  • Garrett: I will, I promise
  • Isabela: You two are so sappy... It's actually rather cute

anonymous asked:

no rush obv but if you're so inclined: we're not gonna see it on sg but i'd like to see how alex processes being queer (post-coming out & being w maggie). like, she had some brief gay panic but we didn't get to see her really accept and then get comfortable w it.

If people want, I’ll do more follow-ups like this, but in keeping with minific style, here’s a oneshot of her reaching out to Kara about Things. I also have this piece that I wrote much earlier about Alex coming out – http://archiveofourown.org/works/8856685/chapters/20309353

She said she couldn’t do this without Kara.

This coming out… thing.

This realizing that her entire life isn’t what she thought it was. That she’s completely different than she thought she was.

Except she’s not. Except she is.

Because Alex knows what she’s good at. And she’s good at training.

Training to be Kara’s protector, at the demand of her mother and the passive agreement of her father.

Training to be a scientist, under the tutelage of the most renowned bioengineers in the country.

Training to be a soldier, under the sometimes harsh care of the man who’s come to be her… well, her father.

Training is something Alex is good at.

But this? This thing, this… this liking Maggie? This… this being… whatever this is…

Gay?

Lesbian?

The words still make her flinch inside.

This… thing? This thing that she can’t do without Kara?

It goes against all her training.

It goes against her training – and she’s good at her training – because she’s been trained to be sexy for me. She’s been trained to appeal to men, she’s been trained to not even consider her feelings for women as real, as noticeable, as an option that wouldn’t be… imperfect.

Because she’s been trained to be perfect.

And she’s pretty damn good at it.

But this?

She’s fallen out of a spaceship, she’s freefalling to earth, and god, she hopes Kara knows how to catch her, because she doesn’t know if she can catch herself.

She tells her mother that she knows better about people. And she wishes she didn’t.

And she does know better about people.

About men. About men whose hands are too rough – not that she minds things rough – but she minds when the roughness isn’t for her, isn’t about her, doesn’t consider her, doesn’t realize that she might have needs, too.

About soldiers. About watching people die and about having to kill. About having to sleep at night, somehow, with the last breaths of people whose lives she’s ended lingering in her ears, under her fingernails, deep in her throat.

About perfection. About the way perfection tastes like the bottom of a bottle of bourbon and sounds like her mother’s ringtone and feels like Kara’s smile hiding the storm behind Kara’s eyes that Alex will never, ever be able to soothe.

No matter how perfect she is.

So this? This… gay… thing?

She means it when she says she can’t do it without Kara.

She calls her late one night, late one night after shooting pool with Maggie, because Maggie had shown up at her door and told her she didn’t want to imagine life without Alex, and who could say no to that?

And Maggie had been kind, and Maggie had been gentle. Maggie had been careful and she’d been funny. She’d been her normal self, on just this side of cautious.

Because Alex knew it then, more sure than she’d been even when she kissed her – knew from the way her stomach swooped when Maggie bent over the pool table to line up a shot, from the way heat pooled between her legs when Maggie’s tongue stuck out slightly in concentration, from the leaping of her heart when Maggie touched her arm and the flight of her soul when Maggie laughed, when she was the reason Maggie laughed, the reason she smiled, the reason she seemed happy – that she was falling in love.

With a woman.

She’s nearly vomiting when she calls Kara, so distraught that she barely even registers Kara’s sleepy tone, the way she clearly just woke her little sister up from a sound sleep. It is well past midnight, after all.

“Alex?”

“I’m…”

“Alex, are you okay? What happened, do you need me to – ”

“No, no, I’m not hurt, Kara, I… I’m g… I like Maggie.”

She’s collected enough, now, to hear Kara’s relief, her soft smile, in her voice.

“I know you do, Alex. Do you want me to come over so we can talk about it? About her? Or about you?”

Alex’s stomach swoops, because talking about Maggie? That would be hard. It would be hard, but it would be easier. Because if it was just about Maggie… just about this girl she liked, and then kissed, and then rejected her, and they were just being friends, so it was no big deal, really, it was just this one thing, this one little phase, this one little mistake, misinterpretation, right?

But Kara knows, and Kara said they could talk about… Alex.

So Alex’s stomach swoops, and she stammers out a no, no, go back to sleep, she’s sorry for calling, but then there’s a tapping on her window and she sighs, because her sister is Supergirl, and her sister is just as fast as Barry Allen.

She lets her in and Kara takes the bourbon out of her hands immediately.

“Talk to me, Alex, not the whiskey.”

Alex sinks back onto the couch and shrugs and sighs and thinks about the way Maggie smiles and the way she smells faintly of motorcycle exhaust and something sweet that Alex can’t quite identify, and –

“Alex.”

And then she’s crying, and god Kara’s arms are strong, and she’s never been more grateful for it, because she’s breaking and it’ll take a lot of strength to hold her together.

More strength than she has on her own, apparently.

It’s while she’s gasping for breathing and trying not to hyperventilate that she chokes the words out.

“Kara, I… I’m g… I’m… a lesbian.” It churns her stomach just to say it. It churns her stomach and it burns her face and it makes her sob harder, but god, god, god, relief also sears through her like oxygen. Relief and truth and something that feels an awful lot like… herself.

“I’m so proud of you, Alex. I’m so proud of you.”

Kara is kissing her forehead and stroking her hair and wiping her tears, and Alex’s phone vibrates and she and Kara both laugh wryly, because maybe one day they can cry on each other without being interrupted by work.

But it’s not work.

It’s someone that makes her heart leap, that makes Kara smile when she sees the caller ID and how quickly her sister goes to open the message.

I had a really great time with you, Danvers. Thanks for coming. Let me know you got home safe, if that’s okay?

Kara arches an eyebrow – when Alex’s tears are dry and her heart rate is a little steadier, it might be a better time to talk about the fact that Maggie sounds an awful lot like she might like her, after all – and smiles as she watches her sister’s normally steady fingers type out a response, as she watches her sister’s normally shrewd eyes sparkle like a teenager’s.

“I’m so proud of you, Alex,” she repeats, because Alex might have been trained by the world to think that being gay, being a lesbian, is less than perfect, but Kara knows better: because the happiness, the hope, the excitement, the affection in Alex’s eyes right now?

That look defines perfection.

anonymous asked:

Autistic people are often framed as having only a singular, heavily involved "special interest", or perhaps 2 or 3, to the absolute exclusion of anything else. While I know this is likely true for some, I can't imagine that every autistic person ever doesn't have multiple hobbies or interests pursued with varying degrees of engagement. The sense I get from the NT-written things I've encountered make autistic folk seem very one-dimensional. I'd like some help clearing this up, please!

This is one of those topics that hasn’t really been researched, as far as I can tell, so I’ll be sticking to my usual method of speaking for myself and inviting autistic followers to add their thoughts. I can in no way claim to speak for everyone, but am happy to share my perspective.

First off, let me explain how a special interest works for me with a simple metaphor: falling in love. When I first come across a new special interest, its eyes sparkle at me from across the room. I get a tiny taste of it, a fragment of information or a glimpse of a picture, and a spark flies, and a fuse lights, and a bomb of euphoria goes off in my head. This thing, this thing right here, is quite clearly the most amazing, important thing I’ve ever come across. This thing is frigging incredible, the best thing that’s ever happened, and the world needs to know.

I become obsessed. I gobble up information wherever I can find it. I learn everything there is to know as quickly as I possibly can. I become an expert on this thing in a remarkably short amount of time. This is LOVE, man. Well, more accurately, this is infatuation. Puppy love. That drug-like rush of chemicals in your brain when you feel you’ve found THE ONE. I talk about it constantly, much to the annoyance of those around me who just don’t quite understand why this thing, this one thing, is so amazingly great that I need to rant about it to the exclusion of everything else in the world. (Especially since they’ve heard it all before.) Just talking about it gives me a rush of euphoria. Sometimes I can see that those around me aren’t interested, but I just can’t stop. The words pour out of me, the excitement radiates off of me, I can’t be ignored, can’t be interrupted. This is like nothing that has ever happened before! Surely, if I can explain it well enough, everyone else will see, too, right? Right?

If you’ve never been in this kind of love, you might not have learned this lesson yet, but here it comes, folks: that kind of love doesn’t last. That euphoric high that results when your brain decides to take a bath in happy chemicals - it’s just physically impossible to sustain it. Eventually, the high, the firey passion, wears off. For me, this usually takes about a year. I’ve read and watched and learned everything I can about this thing. It’s been the center point of my life for a long time, the thing that gets me out of bed in the morning. And one day, suddenly, it just… doesn’t hold the same appeal. It’s not that I don’t love it anymore! I will always love it. But the love changes. It becomes the old, familiar love that comes with time. You don’t get that high from being together anymore, but that doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy each other’s company. You no longer try to persuade the world that this one is the one, is the best thing ever. You no longer need to. This love just settles into the back of your mind, always there, always a comfort, always ready to give you a hug when you need it.

The expertise I’ve gained from all my intensive research, that stays. I will always know just about all there is to know about that thing (at least, all there was to know when I was researching it). I’ll always be able to call that knowledge to mind later on, when it’s useful. And I’ve developed quite the reputation for being a “know-it-all”. I always seem to have some random, obscure fact right on the tip of my tongue, and it’s usually debunking some common misconception that my friends would just as soon keep on having rather than feeling like they’re constantly under attack by that one girl who just HAS to know EVERYTHING.

But it doesn’t feel that way for me. A key difference I’ve noted in communication between autistic and allistic people, and the source of a large percentage of our miscommunications in life, is this: allistic people communicate to bond emotionally and to establish and display power and dominance or submission. Autistic people communicate to share information. When I correct someone, it’s because I know that if I was wrong, I would want to be given the correct information, so I could stop being wrong. But when an allistic person is corrected like that, they take it as an attack on their status, a display of power, and a denial of their feelings. The “golden rule” doesn’t always work. It’s a constant problem.

In any case, I have always been described as someone obsessive. Someone who finds one thing (although it’s often two, three, even four things at a time) and just obsessively learns everything about it and won’t shut up about it for months and months on end. And that really does seem to be true, in a sense. I have very extreme levels of interest. Either something is amazing and I need to know everything about it, or it just doesn’t catch my interest at all. There isn’t much in between.

On the other hand, due to all the many special interests I’ve had over my more than three decades of life, I have built up quite a broad range of interests. I never lost any of them. All of those things still interest me now, and when someone brings one of them up in conversation, I still get a spark of the old obsessiveness deep inside. As a result, I now seem to have a wide range of interests, some of which I’m overtly obsessive about, and others which I keep on file, ready to pull out whenever they’re needed. When I was young, that probably wasn’t the case. It’s likely that I may have been viewed as somewhat one-dimensional as a child, obsessed with just a few things and completely uncaring about everything else. (And when my parents, trying to make me act “normal”, tried separating me from my special interests, the pain was as crushing as being forced to leave your True Love because the rest of the world doesn’t want you to be together - and only made my obsession stronger.)

What I want you to understand is that I don’t see that as a negative thing in any way. An allistic person might see that narrow range of interests and think “oh the poor thing, it’s like she lives in a tiny world and is missing so much of life!” But from my perspective, it’s allistic people who are missing out. Allistic people never seem particularly interested in anything, not by my standards. From where I’m standing, it looks like allistics just drift through life, dabbling in a little of everything but never mastering anything, never finding any real interest, never getting any real, intense joy out of any of their hobbies. An allistic person might say to me, “Yeah, I do a little crocheting, but I’m not really that into it.” And in my mind, I’ll think… then why do it at all? How horribly unsatisfying must it be to go through your entire life, never falling in love with anything you do? Never feeling that euphoria that I get to experience over and over again every time I find a new interest?

Autistic and allistic brains are specialized differently. Allistic brains are best at navigating social rules and structures and internalizing broad strokes and large categories. They look at a table for the first time and think: “That’s a table.” And that’s pretty much as far as they go. They might spend a few seconds to note the material or color or overall condition of the table, but that’s it. 

Autistic brains are specialized in details. It means we have more information to process, all those details without any mechanism for discarding the ones that aren’t important, but it also means we get to see everything about something. I see that new table and I can get lost in tracing the patterns of the grain for hours on end. Sure, it takes me longer, but I get a lot more out of it, and I get a joy from that which allistic people just don’t seem to get.

It’s similar with our interests. Allistics have broad interests, dipping their toe into the shallow ends of a thousand different pools but never really diving in. Autistics have narrow but intense interests. We absorb every detail, and in doing so experience an intense and wonderful euphoria. Honestly, sometimes I feel sorry for all the allistic people in the world who never get to experience that. The poor things… ;)

-Mod Aira

For me, I can have both special interests and normal-level interests. Just because I have stuff that I really really love and am passionate about doesn’t mean I can’t also have other interests, that I’m not quite as passionate about but that I like to dabble in from times to times or as a part of my routine. I do not feel however the urge or will to research them in more depth. There is joy that I can derive from it, but there is not the same “drive” to pursue it. I’d say that’s the main difference between a regular interest and what we call a special interest: a drive to learn about it, talk about it, read about it, build projects about it, engage with it, that is much stronger. So one person can have one or a few special interests, but I’d say it’s not always to the exclusion of everything else.

I think the intensity of special interests, their “obsessiveness” and whether or not the person likes to engage with other subjects that their special interests depends a lot from one person to the next. My special interests sound less intense than what Aira is describing, and I may have more varied non-special interests. So really I’d say this is something that depends a lot from one person to the next.

I also want to add that just because someone has a narrow range of interests doesn’t mean they’re one-dimensional: I’ve seen a special interest described as a lense through which you understand the world. The world is large, and even if you have only one such “lense”, that’s a lot of things to discover with that unique point of view.

-Mod Cat

The Three List | Barry & Iris | Script Fic
  • Barry: Hey, Iris?
  • Iris: Yeah, hun?
  • Barry: Do you remember when you were with Eddie & you told me about your 3's list?
  • Iris: My 3's list?
  • Barry: Yeah, you know, three guys you could cheat on Eddie with.
  • Iris: *snorts* oh, right. My 3 list.
  • Barry: You don't still HAVE that, do you?
  • Iris: *blinks* What?
  • Barry: Your 3 list. Do you still have it?
  • Iris: Uh...probably somewhere. Why?
  • Barry: *clears throat* I was just wondering if Oliver was still on it.
  • Iris: *smirks & crawls over to him* Babe, you know that's not a serious thing, right?
  • Barry: what do you mean?
  • Iris: *laughs* even if Oliver had given my fangirl self the time of day when I was with Eddie, I wouldn't have slept with him.
  • Barry: *blinks* you wouldn't have?
  • Iris: *laughs* Who do you think I am, Bear? You think 'he's on my three list!' would've sufficed if Eddie had caught us in bed together?
  • Barry: *blushes fiercely* No, I guess not.
  • Iris: *cups face* Babe, you've got nothing to worry about. *kisses him* You're the only one I want.
  • Barry: *after many kisses & sweet nothings whispered* But is Oliver still--
  • Iris: *rolls eyes & gets off him* oh, for crying out loud.
  • Barry: Wait, Iris, I didn't mean-
  • Iris: You most certainly did. *starts to walk away*
  • Barry: *panics* Iris-
  • Iris: Calm down. I'll be right back. *dashes up the stairs & comes back 10 minutes later* Found it!
  • Barry: *shifts towards her, eyes wide* What did you... *spots piece of paper she's holding* Oh.
  • Iris: *hands paper over* Take a look for yourself.
  • Barry: *scans list of names & frowns* He's still on it.
  • Iris: Mhmm.
  • Barry: This doesn't make me feel any better, Iris.
  • Iris: *crosses arms* that's the original list. I only updated it once, a couple months after I'd moved in with Eddie.
  • Barry: *still frowning* where's that one?
  • Iris: *makes circling motion with her finger*
  • Barry: *checks the other side* This one looks pretty much the same. I don't see-- *jaw drops*
  • Iris: *starts to grin* See something you like, hun?
  • Barry: Am...Am I...? *squeaks*
  • Iris: *nods* Mhmm.
  • Barry: I'm in the number 2 spot!
  • Iris: That's one above Oliver, I believe.
  • Barry: *still gawking* I don't understand.
  • Iris: *comes & sits next to him on the couch* After you told me how you felt when I was with Eddie, I had a lot of feelings that I didn't know how to deal with. Then when Eddie got all secretive on me I started thinking about you even more, and how my best friend would NEVER keep secrets from me the way my boyfriend was doing.
  • Barry: *winces* sarcasm is warranted.
  • Iris: in the past. *waves it off*
  • Barry: *swallows hard & nods*
  • Iris: That night when I came back to my dad's & you were there reassuring me, I felt like that was a safe place to put them. My feelings for you.
  • Barry: On your 3 list?
  • Iris: *nods* On my 3 list.
  • Barry: Did Eddie ever see it?
  • Iris: *laughs* Are you kidding? If Eddie had seen the updated version, he would've figured out what was up right away, even before I did.
  • Barry: And what was up?
  • Iris: *smiles & gently kisses him* I was in love with my best friend.
  • Barry: *has warm fuzzies* Iris...
  • Iris: So, you can keep that if you like. Oliver's name is still on it - BENEATH yours though. I don't have a need for it anymore. I haven't looked at it until today in over two years.
  • Barry: Yeah?
  • Iris: *nuzzles & kisses* yeah. You're all I want, Bear. If I can't have you, there's no one else I want. Not even a one night stand with a celebrity.
  • Barry: *smiles*
  • Iris: Do YOU have a 3 list? *raises eyebrows*
  • Barry: WHAT? *squeaks*
  • Iris: You heard me.
  • Barry: Iris.
  • Iris: BARRY.
  • Barry: *sighs & then laughs* I have a 1 list.
  • Iris: *eyebrow furrow* What's a 1 list?
  • Barry: *pulls out wallet & digs out tiny scrap of paper inside & hands it to her* Same thing as a 3 list. Except mine only has 1 name on it.
  • Iris: *jaw drops when she reads it* I'M the only name on your 3 list??
  • Barry: *grins & pulls her close* Yep.
  • Iris: But of all he gorgeous celebrities, even SCIENCE NERDS, you only chose--
  • Barry: You're the only one I've wanted since the day that I met you.
  • Iris: *teary-eyed* Barry...
  • Barry: Getting a chance with you? 10 times better than any hook up with ANY celebrity.
  • Iris: *sighs contently & kisses him* I love you, Barry Allen.
  • Barry: I love you, Iris West.
  • Iris: *nuzzles & pulls away after a while* So what are you going to do with my 3 list?
  • Barry: Give it back to you. *hands it over* You decide what to do with it.
  • Iris: *grins* Mmk. *pecks him in the cheek, stands up & heads to the roaring fireplace*
  • Barry: Wait, Iris, what are you doing?! *speeds over*
  • Iris: Getting rid of it. I don't need it anymore.
  • Barry: Well, maybe you should keep it. You know, as a keepsake.
  • Iris: *eyes him suspiciously* Why do you want it?
  • Barry: *I* don't want it. It's yours. I gave it back to you. So you--
  • Iris: BARRY.
  • Barry: *swallows* I mean, you ranked me ABOVE Oliver, so...
  • Iris: OHMYGOD. *rolls eyes & shoves it into his hand* You keep it. It'll be YOUR keepsake. *walks back to the couch & sits down*
  • Barry: It's not really MINE, so--
  • Iris: *gives him THE LOOK* one more word, Barry, and I WILL throw it to the flames. Not even your superspeed will stop me.
  • Barry: *nods & swallows* Right. *tucks paper into pocket & comes to sit next to her* So...
  • Iris: *raises eyebrow*
  • Barry: Now what?
  • Iris: *irritation fades away & she pulls him close, kissing him* Now I get some one-on-one time with #2 on my 3 list.
  • Barry: *pulls back after a few kisses* I thought you just said--
  • Iris: I swear to God, Barry, if you don't just kiss me--
  • Barry: *speeds them up their bedroom, drops her on the bed & takes off t-shirt, then hovers over her & kisses her, lingering*
  • Iris: *moans* Don't tell my boyfriend about this. He'll be extremely jealous.
  • Barry: *restrains groan* On my life. *mutters & kisses her again*
  • ...
  • A/N: Just did (as of 4/2/17) a bit of an edit, b/c I watched the 1.08 scene & realized it's actually called a 'three' list, not a 'threes' list. So I changed all those & added a short line to something Iris said early on.

anonymous asked:

I'd like to request Zen with an MC whose mom and sister talk shit about her right in front of her all the time. My family does this to me and it seriously sucks... I need some comfort fluff pls ;-;

aw, anon :(( I’m sorry they do that, that’s terrible! you’re a great person and are wonderful and I love you❤ 

here’s some comfort fluff for you ^^ zen loves you too and he’s about to prove it watch this


Zen wanted to meet her family. MC knew it was bound to happen eventually, but she was really hoping it would be later rather than sooner. But Zen thought family was important━and even though his family didn’t give him a chance yet, he thought he could at least try with hers. MC managed to set up dinner plans with her family. Zen was ecstatic, he was going to meet her parents and her sister. MC, on the other hand, was worried. She knew they were going to like him, that wasn’t the problem, she was worried about what they would say about her. Her mom and sister had the tendency to talk about her in a way that reminded MC of high school bullies, and right in front of her too! Their words belittled and hurt her, and she was afraid they were going to convince Zen that she wasn’t enough for him. But he would never think that…right?

The night came and MC’s palms started sweating just on the car ride there. Zen noticed when she didn’t want to hold his hand. “MC? What’s wrong, babe?” She put on a smile and shook her head, trying to reassure him, “Just a little nervous…I haven’t seen them in a few months, they’re probably going to ask a bunch of questions, haha..” Zen nodded, leaving it at that, but he still felt a little bit off. They pulled up to the restaurant before he could figure out how to ask, though.

MC’s parents and sister were there already, so Zen and MC took a seat. There were introductions and the usual “how did you guys meet?” and “what do you do for a career?” type questions. MC thought this might actually go well. They were asking more questions about Zen than talking about MC…maybe she could actually do this. Then, her sister brought up the question, “So, why are you with MC in the first place?” MC could feel her heart sink. Here it comes… Zen looked surprised, and took a second to answer. “Well, because she makes me happy. She supports me and my dreams and trusts me…and I want to do the same for her.” Normally, his answer would make MC blush, but right now she was too worried about their response that all she could do was pick at her food. “That’s sweet. But I do have a question about that,” Her mother started, “How does she make you happy? A man of your talent and looks alone couldn’t possibly be happy to be seen with her. I mean, I love her of course, but do you know how clumsy she is?” Her sister interjected, “She’s also gullible. Once, we were at the park and some kid convinced her slugs had healing slime, so she put one on her cut.” And it pretty much all went downhill from there.

They brought up all kinds of stories from MC’s past, making each other laugh. Her father didn’t say much, except offer a few details from those stories and tell them to stop for a second when the waiter asked for refills. MC went from picking on her food and eating a bite every now and then to playing with the napkin on her lap. Zen didn’t say a word. Finally, they brought her to a breaking point. “And tell me you didn’t say ‘I love you’ yet, MC is kind of impulsive with those words, she’s doesn’t really take them seriously.” Her mother said. “She probably did, mom, she brought him to meet us. But this isn’t the first time…who knows, this might end up like last time.” Her sister said. “Oh, what happened last time, again? I forgot..” Her father spoke again to answer her mother, “They broke up the next day. And a week later, the boy started dating this one.” He pointed to MC’s sister. And that’s when MC stood up and excused herself to the bathroom.

She couldn’t handle it anymore. And Zen hadn’t even said anything. Maybe he was planning to do the same thing. Maybe they convinced him she wasn’t enough for him. Because, though their words hurt, they were right about one thing━how was she enough for him? Why did he ever like her? She was nowhere near the kind of person he should like, and all she ever did was encourage him. But he had encouragement from everyone, why did he need her? She spent about five minutes in the bathroom, her thoughts making her start crying somewhere in the middle, before there was a knock on the door. “Sorry!” She called out, thinking someone needed to actually use the bathroom, “I’ll be out in a minute.” MC was going to get a couple napkins for her tears, when, “Princess?” Zen’s voice called from the other side of the door. She stopped what she was doing and went back to the door. “Oh…I’ll still be out in a minute, Zen, sorry. I mean, unless you want to just end things right here, that’s fine with me too.” The tears started coming back, but she was forcing herself to speak clearly. “This night was a waste, I’m sorry, haha-” “Babe, come out here.” He said. MC frowned, and took a second before she opened the door.

Immediately, she was pulled into a hug. Zen had brought her purse and wrapped his jacket around her. “Come on, let’s go.” MC was confused. “What do you mean?” “I paid for our bit of dinner already. I also, uh…kind of told your family off. I don’t think they like me anymore.” Now MC was surprised. “You what?” “Well, I told them that they were ridiculous. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner, but I was just shocked at how they were belittling you! And they just kept going! It wasn’t even like how Seven makes fun of Yoosung, they’re being stupid! Questioning why I like you? God, you’ve made me the happiest I’ve been since I can remember. You make me want to be a better person and make me feel like I can actually achieve my dreams. And then they say all this crap about you? You’re an amazing person! I don’t see how half of their stories even make you out to be what they say. Clumsy? Who cares? I broke my ankle and several other bones on a dance move I’ve done for years. Gullible? You were six! Any six year old would fall for that. And that one ex of yours is a joke, I want to punch him. What kind of asshole-” “Zen..” MC cut him off, “Do..you really mean all that?” He looked down at her, surprised, but he nodded. “Of course, Angel. You’re everything to me. And if your family can’t see that, well…I guess we’ll only ever visit on important holidays. And I’ll be ready to put them in their place again.” Now MC was blushing. “Thank you…can we go back home?” Zen smiled and leaned down to kiss her forehead, “I thought you’d never ask.”

anonymous asked:

Hi your tendou soulmate post was so beautifully written! I'd been saving this request for so long! Could you do a scenario for tendou having a crush on his school's idol who everyone sees as charming and happy but she struggles with depression and tendou finds her crying and comforts her and afterwards she develops feelings for him? I've been having a really hard time dealing with depression and how people perceive me lately. Thank you for your time even if you don't get around to this request!

《If you ever need anyone, I’m right here. My dms are open 24/7 and I literally do nothing with my life. I wish you the best ♡♡♡》


Perfection was nothing but deception. That’s what Tendou Satori thought, at least. Issues run fruitfully through the veins of anything to ever take a breath of air, and to Tendou, a flawless being is a being that doesn’t exist. That’s why he found __ __ to be so interesting.

She was definitely out of the ordinary but nothing extraordinary, either. Although, she did walk the halls of Shiratorizawa academy like she owned the place and truth be told, she probably did. She had the face of an angel, the generosity of a saint and the grades to get her a one way ticket straight to a PhD. If Tendou knew anything, though, it was that you can’t be nice, smart and pretty all at once, and if you are, you’re a fake. __ was a fake, and a convincing one at that. Convincing enough to trick Ushijima Wakatoshi into befriending her. When Tendou had gotten the news that Ushijima, the emotionally closed off, socially distant captain himself, spent a two hour study session in the library with her after practice, he was anything but baffled. He reckons that was when he started taking an interest in her, Shiratorizawa’s princess herself.

According to Semi, anyone who spends three seconds around __ will instantaneously fall in love with her charisma. It’s what she was infamous for, apparently, yet for some reason, Tendou could never find himself striking a conversation with her. He figured it would be utterly pathetic and not worth risking his dignity for. He imagined it would be a one way conversation of her asking him pointless, small talk questions and him red in the face, blubbering responses like like a toddler. That was the last situation Tendou would like to be caught in, especially during the most stressful time of the school year. He really didn’t mind not getting to talk to her, though. As a self proclaimed introvert, he much rather liked sitting by the sidelines and watching her interact with other people, except himself. This ‘hobby’, as Shirabu liked to call it, might get him deemed as a stalker, but Tendou disagreed. He was simply just dismantling her for now, taking the puzzle apart piece by piece until it was shattered on the floor. Only until then, would he make a move and piece it all back together.

Tendou really didn’t know much about her yet. He knew she liked music quite a bit. Earbuds always hug out of the pocket of her bookbag and the face of it was covered in band pins. She attended all their home games but never stayed to talk to anyone afterwards. He reckoned she had a knack for the fine arts since she always seemed to linger in that wing, which brought him to the conclusion that she was taking several fine arts courses to compensate for a void in her schedule, most likely lunch, since he never saw her in the cafeteria. The only time he’s ever seen her in casual clothes was in the library after hours. She wore a t-shirt with a funky octopus looking animal on the front which made him realize she wasn’t as cool as she wanted people to believe she was. He made an inference that she came from a rich family, because as smart as she was, grades alone couldn’t get you into Shiratorizawa, not without a prominent extracurricular activity, that is, and she did none. Although she was the poster child of the dance team, but the whole fine arts department was gravely outshined. With all the minimal information Tendou had stockpiled, he came to the conclusion that this tragic hero’s flaw was undeniably depression.

It had to be, there was no way it couldn’t. It was a mischievous little devil that was easy to hide but quick to come out and just by staring at her, he saw its dead eyes in hers. The dark rings underneath the sockets, the glossiness, the agony. Tendou thought it was silly to judge a person based on their eyes, for all he knew she could just be tired all the time. Although, in this case, he knew she wasn’t just tired. There was so much more, a forest full of secrets and lies that she kept flourishing. Tendou couldn’t wait to chop all the trees down. His teammates would tell him he was being creepy, that his crush had become a full blown obsession, but he couldn’t disagree. At this point, he knew it was far too early to say that he was in love with her, but he was definitely intrigued with her. He was intrigued enough to spy on her, sometimes. Well, he wouldn’t call it spying, per say, more like uncomfortable one-sided observing. He found himself spending a lot more of his free time roaming the arts wing. He found out she was a marvelous dancer, a ballerina, much to his amusement, with movements that sent shivers down his spine. He reckoned that she had to have noticed him at this point, even for a second, at least. In the matter of three months he had become her biggest fan on the sidelines, and he kept mindlessly hoping that one day he’d get to talk to her.

And that day came.

But not like how he wanted.

Everyone imagines their first conversation with their crush to be something picturesque. A James Dean and Audrey Hepburn moment, if you were to get into specifics. Although, Tendou clearly wasn’t receiving that in this very moment. It was fourth period lunch and since he had nothing better to do than ramble with Semi, he found himself getting lost in the arts wing. Even if __ wasn’t down there, the school had some remarkable violinists he had never known about, if they were even violinists, that was. Although when he got there the hallway was barren, except for a dark, looming corner at the end of the hall. The lights were off somehow, but through the light of closed classrooms he could still make out the figure hunched over and bawling into the crevice of its sleeve. It was her.

Half of Tendou wanted to book right then and there. He was an incompetent emotional wreck himself and barely knew how to cope with his own cranial calamity. The other half wanted to approach her and comfort her in her most vulnerable state, knowing he’d never get a chance at this again. Although, all of him was absolutely thrilled. He had guessed right yet again. He stood there for a moment, frozen in his tracks, watching her with a blank face as she sat there and screamed. If Tendou had never seen this same situation played out in front of him before, he might’ve been horrified.

But he wasn’t horrified, and that was all the motivation he needed to approach her. She didn’t hear his footsteps, as boisterous as he tried to make them. She only noticed him after he was hovering above her for a solid three minutes, when he cleared his throat abruptly. She looked up at him, wide eyed, and screamed, making haste as she gave him an impromptu kick to the shins. He shot her a feared look, she shot him a feared look, and everything went dead silent until one of them dared to open their mouths.
“I uh… Are you okay?” Tendou ended up muttering, breaking the looming, dead silence.
“Do I look okay?”
“Well you kick okay, that’s for sure.” She shot Tendou another glare. He did nothing but shrug. “Do you want to talk about it? Instead of, you know, screaming your lungs out by yourself?”
“I’m sorry for kicking you,” Was her reply instead. “I get really anxious when people surprise me.”
“Nah, you’re alright. I can take a blow.” Tendou shrugged again, waiting for any positive reaction, or any reaction at all for him to sit down next to her against the wall. She sniffled, and he took that as his queue for him to slump up down in a ball at her side.
“Aren’t you on the volleyball team?” She inquired. She had reburied her head in between her knees, but Tendou knew she had stopped crying. The cracks in her voice had smoothed out, though the tremble of pain was still there.
“Yes ma’am.”
“Why do you care about me, then?”

Tendou really didn’t know why he cared about her.

“I don’t really know. I, uh, I see you around a lot though, I mean, everyone does but-” Tendou paused. He knew what he wanted to say but didn’t know if he should say it. He was already the weird kid who approached her in a dark hallway, he didn’t need another title. Her hands were gripping at the fabric at her knees. She had lifted her head up but refused to look at him, even when he was talking. He didn’t care, she was coming out of her shell. “-but I figured you must be hiding something the moment someone first mentioned your name. I hate to say it but…”
“But what?”
“But nobody’s flawless. Even people who think they can try to be flawless, people like you, they still have flaws. It’s like foundation for the mind, you know, you can use so much but the blemishes are still there.”
“I thought…” __ peeped, looking up at him, finally, for the first time that day without a menacing look in her eyes. “I thought you were supposed to be the funny one on the team.”

Tendou snorted, and without thinking burst, out laughing. She kept giving him an odd look, but didn’t move. “Did I say something funny?”

“No.” He replied, shaking his head in the midst of giggles. “But see here, everybody has a reputation they’ve built up. Mine, I guess, is the funny guy on the volleyball team, or whatever. You, you’re the schools idol. The chick everyone’s parents are like, ‘Why aren’t you more like that __ girl! She gets good grades and dances!’ No matter who you are, everybody faces the same demons sometimes. If you really want my opinion, which I’m guessing you don’t, Look, look at your face. Do you know what kind of face you’re making at me right now? You look like you want my blood.”
At this, she cracked a smile. Something inside of Tendou had burst.

“But __, I think you’re going to be just fine. Whatevers going on right now in your life, it’ll pass. You got decades ahead of you, and you’ll find your paradise along the way. If anyone can do it, it’s you”
“I really don’t know what to say. I’m a bit shaken right now, to be honest? But, um, thank you, thank you so much. You must’ve gone through a lot too, I’m guessing?”
“Yeah, but that’s for a different time.” Tendou shrugged, faking a smile down at her. He sighed and got back up on his feet, helping her up with him with a little bounce in his step.

“Listen to me now, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but you look like you just hopped straight out of a horror movie scene. Go wash your face and get back to class. School’ll be over in three hours, and don’t try to push yourself to be lively. That’s not who you are today, and that’s okay. If you need me to beat anyone up, I gotchu. Tendou’s the name, okay?”
“Tendou…” she bowed, eyes pointed at her feet. “For someone with such an odd reputation, you’re quite the character, you know that?”
“Well, I’ve been told. It depends, do ya mean character in a good way or in a bad way?”
“Good, good for sure. Um, will we ever talk again?”
“Depends, do you wanna talk again?“
“Definitely. Maybe next time we don’t have to talk about my crippling mental state?”
“Sounds like a deal.”

anonymous asked:

Can I ask for a little drabble? I really like your writing! I'd like to read about Aaron having to ring Rob while they're boken up because he can't seem to get some home appliance to work (the oven or the AC, something like that) because of course Robert would chose some stupid over the top machine that it's super complicated to use??? If you feel like it ;))

I loved this idea and as you can see it kind of got away from me so it’s a lot more than a little drabble! Thank you so much for sending it and I’m flattered you like my writing and thought of me! 

BTW all these ‘issues’ except for the car have happened in my house…probably not that complicated though!

Hope you like it :)

Did you read the instruction manual?

AO3 Link

“Robert, it’s me. Do you have a minute to come over? I need your help with something, not urgent, but…” Robert frowned as the message cut off with a bang in the background. He couldn’t make out the sound and Aaron hadn’t sounded hurt or in trouble, but even so his footsteps grew quicker as he made his way through the village to Mill.

He hadn’t seen Aaron for a few days, ever since he’d left the flat and moved into the B&B. He’d wanted to but Aaron had made it clear he should stay away, so he’d done as he’d been asked, however difficult it had been.

The door is flung open before he even gets down the drive and Aaron’s jeans are soaking wet at the bottom and his hair is a mess. He drags his gaze away, there’s something about Aaron’s hair when it’s like that. Maybe that’s part of why he used to enjoy running his hands through it. Aaron would grumble but he’d let him, a smile on his face the whole time.

“Are you alright?”

“Its that stupid washing machine of yours! I said we didn’t need one that looked like something from NASA! There’s water everywhere!” He didn’t recall even having that conversation. Aaron had simply told him to pick. He’d had much more input into which furniture to buy. However it didn’t seem like the time to point that out given his mood.

“So I can see. Did you try reading the instructions?” He asks, making his way through the hallway into the flat, trying not to laugh at Aaron doing a good impression of Grumpy Cat.

“No, I just stood and looked at it! Of course I did!”

Water everywhere is a slight exaggeration, there’s a small pool of soapy water around the machine heading for the kitchen table but quite how Aaron ended up so covered in water is anyone’s guess. Robert crouches in front of the machine trying to see what might be wrong.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Can you recomend any haikyuu!! fanfics? :)

OH HELL YES I CAN

Not exactly in the order though:

Come and get lost with us - long, ongoing, a heartbreak in one chapter and then soothing warmth in the other. Then more heartbreak. And more heartbreak. This one is the essense of “You’re going to suffer, but you’re going to be happy about it”. Mostly Kagehina-centric, but there’s a lot lot more and I love this one to fucking death okay?

You’d fit in my arms so perfectly - by the same author, to balance the angst from Lost with us. Daisuga-centric. I’ve been reading it alone in my room at night and I laughed until there were tears quite a few of times. This one makes me sort of hopeful. It’s amazing.

Shadows don’t matter close to the light - I think it was the first Haikyuu!! fanfiction I’ve ever read and it got my hq obsession on a whole new level. This is the fic responsible for me getting THIS deep. Also by Niki.

Don’t run on wet wood - Kageyama can’t swim. You don’t need to know anything else, just read it:’) I might or might not be partly responsible for this one.

Happy Birthday, idiot - Sick birthday fic. Kageyama is not as lonely as he thinks;) this one had me crying. I can’t deal. Sorry not sorry I love this one to bits and it just sort of hits close home at some extent. 

Black night, black wings - man I just love it when Kageyama suffers. Dunno. all my most relatable characters must suffer a lot:D Kageyama has a nightmare, apparently. 

Add new contact - Daisuga one in which Daichi has a major crush on a IT tech aka actual angel Sugawara Koushi. Daichi’s eletconics are doomed.

This will be - an AU in which Kageyama and Daichi are brothers. Mostly Daisuga, but the dynamics in this one are wonderful and it will ruin you in all the best ways. Kageyama is one lonely kid. (I might or might not love it when Kageyama is in pain and suffering so)

To be first, to be best - this one had me a mess. Favourite iwaoi fic ever and I’m still not over it. 

I choose you - this is one of my favourite iwaoi fics, soulmates AU. but god damn it it’s so good.

Shiver - THIS IWAOI. GOD I BREATHE FICS LIKE THIS ONE. LOVE YOURSELF AND READ IT THIS IS ALL YOU EVER NEED

But for me, there is a storm - a loooong one Haikyuu Pacific Rim au. I started it, but got distracted with something else so I’m only a few chapters into it, but I think it ruined enough lives to be worth catching up to:D

We can do better than that - Iwaoi roap trip.

Paws for love - Asanoya one. Apparently Asahi is very very anxious, and dogs help. Nishinoya is a storm as usual.

Forever and always - Kagehina reincarnation AU. Many stories, some of which may or may not have broken my heart.

Cloudy with a chance of UFOs - this one made me ship UshiOi. and then I thought I could only ship iwaoi, hAHAHa, never say never.

The benevolent king and Grand king’s heart - being Oikawa is hard and troubling, and apparently he’s a very good actor. Also Ushioi one.

#not a love story - bitch it might be. Or maybe it really isn’t. Or maybe it is. Who knows. Ushijima is an actor with quite a big crush on another actor who hates him. (you can basically pinpoint the moment I’ve started spiralling down ushioi hell)

A place to call home - if others made me ship ushioi, this one made me ship it like burning and appreciate Oikawa 10 times more I already did, which is hell of fucking lot because I did appreciate him quite  A LOT already. Ushijima has a 4 year old son Tobio, who is far too mature for his own age. It will ruin you please read it.

I like the way your clothes smell - help me god, this one made me SHIP kagehina and I didn’t plan it at all.

Haikyuu!!-Hogwarts drabbles - THIS ONE’S KURODAI IS MY END. my heart did THINGS and my chest hurt, favourite feeling. Not to mention HQ+HP=pure joy, as simple as that.

Delinquent marshmallows - THIS IS A VERY VERY BITTERSWEET FIC ABOUT TANAKAS. I LEGIT TEARED UP AT THIS. so wonderful<3

sister’s day - Tanaka syblings dynamics. I swear to god I had to take a break from reading because my vision was so blurry. Literally cried big baby tears on this one but it makes you strangely ridiculously HAPPY.

we shine like diamonds - another absolutely amazing iwaoi that I immediately knew would be one of my favourites. Chest hurt so bad because of ANGST. This one is heavy because it does have homophobia, though.

There are many more I’ve read, but listing them ALL is somehow troublesome, so these are some of my favourites, even though I’m pretty damn sure I forgot some.

There are more in my fanfiction tag, because I’ve posted some links before, so if these are not enough check the tag out, too;) Some might repeat, but oh well.

anonymous asked:

Just coming into your inbox to tell you how wonderful I find the D:M series. NGL I have read all of the stories at least twice/thrice because they are just so well written. I've never really read much KiKasa or MidoTaka but yours gives me life. And AkaFuri has always been my #1 so yeah yours is bEST. ANYWAY! Thanks so much for D:M! If you have time/want to, I'd love to see a little fic with KiKasa. Specifically: Ultra scary/intimidating Kise over a oblivious-to-how-attractive-he-is!Kasamatsu xD

Kasamatsu Yukio spent the majority of his life being largely indifferent to Valentine’s Day. Having no sisters or female cousins or female childhood friends to give him obligatory chocolate, and being absolutely incapable of holding a conversation with the girls in his class, it never really seemed like a holiday that was worth his attention.

He expects this holiday to be slightly different, only because it’s Kise’s first Valentine’s at Kaijo, and if nothing else, Kasamatsu expects to spend the day thoroughly exhausted with having to deal with Kise and his fanclub.

So it is somewhat of a surprise when he gets up in the morning only to realize that Kise has left for school without him.

*

“I hate this holiday,” Kise says, in dark thunderous tones. Kasamatsu has never heard him speak with such intense loathing.

“Er,” Kasamatsu starts. He’d jokingly said, “Why did you leave to school so early? Were you that eager to get chocolate from your fans?” and he didn’t quite know how to respond to this proclamation.

“This holiday is the worst thing ever,” Kise continues.

“You have a lot of chocolate, though, right?” Kasamatsu frowns. Because surely this isn’t the same thing as Moriyama’s constant bemoaning of the “wretchedness and cruelty of this day.” Moriyama, like most of the basketball players, never got chocolate. Kasamatsu can already see Kise with his accumulated piles of chocolate.

“That’s not the point!” Kise insists. “The point is, it’s a stupid holiday! It emboldens people to confess! Which is dumb! No one should confess their feelings, ever. Especially not because a holiday told them too.”

“I guess?” Kasamatsu says, seeing some of the logic there but certainly not all of it and also wondering where the heck Kise was coming with all of this.

“Also, it’s completely sexist and unfair. Boys should give chocolate too. Why can’t boys give obligatory chocolate to the people they care about? Why is that not OK? Boys might want to give chocolate to the people in their life they care about.”

“If you want to give chocolate to someone, you should just give chocolate to someone,” Kasamatsu says.

“I don’t want to give chocolate to anyone,” Kise says, pouting.

“You’re not making any sense,” Kasamatsu says.

“This holiday is the worst.”

*

“Were you taking chocolate out of Kasamatsu’s locker this morning?” Moriyama asks.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Kise says through gritted teeth.

Some realization flashes across Moriyama’s face, “There were rumors last year of some crazy chick going around threatening people who prepared chocolate for Kasamatsu. I didn’t really believe it at the time…”

“And you don’t believe it now, right, Moriyama-senpai?” Kise seethes.

“Riiiiight. You know most of that was just obligatory chocolate anyway, you can’t really deny a guy obligatory chocolate on Valentine’s Day, that’s just petty—yeah, fine, fine, you be you.” He backs away at Kise’s glare.

Valentine’s Day is full time work, and Kise resents the hell out of this. It is the dumbest holiday in the world and he doesn’t even get chocolate from Kasamatsu. There is no point to this holiday even existing.

*

“It’s just obligatory chocolate,” the women’s basketball captain says. “I’ve known Kasamatsu for these past three years—”

“If it’s just obligatory chocolate, then you don’t really need to give it to him, do you?” Kise says sweetly, while continuing to block her path.

“You can’t seriously object to this, you’ve accepted dozens of chocolate today!”

“Listen, this is war, all of the movies say so,” Kise insists. “Desperate times call for desperate measures. Even obligatory chocolate is a confession of feeling something and I can’t risk it. Also, I will bite off your hand if you keep trying to give him that chocolate.”

“Fine!” She throws her hands up in the air. “God, you are such a child!”

“A child who gets to SLEEP IN THE SAME ROOM as him!” Kise tosses back, because let’s face it, he needs to count his victories where he gets them.

*

Kise flops down on his bed and hates everything. There was nothing like having a whole holiday dedicated to expressing love to really drive in the unrequited nature of his own obsession. And while yes he did see Kuroko’s point (who had been very judgey, during Kise’s guerilla attack last year on Kaijo without anyone knowing it was him thwarting all the chocolate delivery) that his behavior was immoral and depraved and fine he also could see Moriyama’s point that blocking the obligatory chocolate was kind of petty, he also didn’t care. One bit. Because all the chocolate in the world didn’t make up for not getting chocolate from the one person it matters and he hates everything.

Something drops on his chest, causing him to look up and see a bar of chocolate, the kind sold at convenience stores.

“Here,” Kasamatsu says. “I have no idea what’s up with you, but stop being so cranky.”

“Senpai?” Kise says, barely believing what was happening. If any of the other Miracles had the power to shapeshift like he did, he might expect this to be a cruel prank.

“I stopped on my way home to get some chocolate for Mizuki and Ren. I thought about what you said about boys giving obligatory chocolate and I was thinking it’d be pretty sad for those guys to not get anything just because we’re a family of all guys. I figured I’d get some for you and my dad while I was at it.”

“Senpai! Thank you so much! This is amazing! This is the best thing ever!” He stops himself from gushing too much and also from jumping on the other boy. He can be restrained! He can be! He looks down at the chocolate in wonder.

“You’re so weird,” Kasamatsu says, laying down on his own bed. “You’ve gotten chocolate before.”

Kise has to hide his face, so Kasamatsu won’t see his reaction. He’s sure that he must look pathetically in love right now, so he just curls up facing the wall, still clutching the chocolate. It’s only obligatory chocolate, he thinks. But every chocolate was a dangerous sentiment, that’s why he couldn’t let anyone give any to Kasamatsu before.

So this was a feeling, even if it was an obligatory one, and he’ll take what he can get.

Maybe this holiday wasn’t so bad after all.



A/N: Thank you, anon-friend! I am very glad to hear that you enjoy Designation: Miracle! And I am always happy to write pining!Kise and oblivious!Kasamatsu. I hope you don’t mind that I took this chance to write a Valentine’s Day fic. It’s set before they hook up in Designation: Miracle, although I have no idea when exactly because I am so bad about trying to navigate timelines. Woo for lazy writing. Thanks again!! Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone!!!!

Love Letters for the Signs
  • Aries:
  • do you remember that time that we went to the river and everyone was jumping off the edge of the bank and we argued for ten minutes about who was going to go first because you wanted to and i said that i did too well i was actually terrified but i wanted to go first and make sure it was safe for you because you mean everything to me
  • Taurus:
  • i forgot to eat today i forgot to eat today and yesterday and im sitting on my bed wondering why i can't remember to feed myself and i realised it's because you're not here and i miss you and i know that i should learn to take care of myself but im afraid that if i do you'll never need to come back so please come back before i starve
  • Gemini:
  • i used to hate the way that you made me yell down the stairs after i made a loud noise to let you know that i was okay and sometimes i'd yell as soon as I dropped the laptop/desk drawer/picture frame to beat you to the shouting bit but for the last thirty minutes I've been sporadically dropping all of my book down the stairs hoping you'll call up because i want to hear your voice
  • Cancer:
  • there's a sound that you make that i try to avoid at all costs because the first time that I heard it i froze i froze inside of it and i let it's beautiful anguish swaddle me until i was sure that i would drown inside you and that was okay but i swore that if i survived i would never make you sad and i survived so please love me back
  • leo:
  • i've never been able to understand the way that you look at me like you are going to swallow me whole between sips of your coffee so sometimes/always i try to remind you that i'm poisonous and i always try to remind you that i'm defective and you always kiss me hard in the middle of my forehead and i think that's why i'll never stop loving you
  • virgo:
  • let's make a bet that in ten years i'll still be sleeping next to you every night and if you win and i'm not sleeping next to you every night then you get to break into my tastefully large and likely extremely expensive house and curl up beside me because you know i still save the left side of the bed for you and if i win and i'm still sleeping next to you every night then we'll call it even because i already have everything i've ever wanted
  • Libra:
  • every time that you touch me i feel my skin go translucent under your finger tips and i remember what it is like to feel skin against my skin and i know that you can see right through me and i know that you know what I'm thinking but it doesn't really matter because i felt your skin against my skin and i know that nothing will feel real until you touch me again
  • Scorpio:
  • the last time that i saw you was in a dream and for some reason i thought that if i could talk to dream you then maybe dream you could give real you a message from me and i was just wondering if it worked and if it did then why haven't i heard from you so just in case it didn't work i told dream you to tell real you that i haven't forgotten us
  • Sagittarius:
  • have you ever wondered what would have happened if we had never met do you think that we would be okay like do you think that we would find happiness without each other because i was thinking about it and i think that i would still feel like something was missing even if i didn't know that it was my most important something
  • Capricorn:
  • So I'm sitting on the curb nursing another twisted knee and i realise that even though i know that you could leave me broken i will still follow you to the ends of the earth and through every stitched cut and relocated shoulder that would have never been dislocated if we had just stayed on the path like i had suggested i'll remember our first night when you taught me to nurse my wounds and fade old scars and it will be worth it
  • Aquarius:
  • sometimes i wish that i could burrow through your iris to the part of your skull where you feel all of the secrets and regrets slowly spilling into the stomach acid that you pretend you aren't choking on and i'm hoping that you'll find relief if i take some of the pressure but you have to let me in because i promise your demons don't scare me
  • Pisces:
  • you've always made the decisions when it comes to what we are going to eat or who's bed we're going to sleep in and i guess it's because i'm never really sure of anything and sometimes i'm afraid of what might happen if i make the wrong choice but with you i feel safe and i want you to know that even though i'm never really sure of anything i'm completely sure of this so maybe just trust me this time

rattlemymilkbonez  asked:

How does one deal with pride and self-loathing? I'd say my mood is pretty healthy most of the time, but when someone else points out when I do the wrong thing, I start hurting and feeling angry with myself because I hate making mistakes more than anything. Which seems silly, I guess, since we all fall short of the glory of God.

Hey dear friend, I really wrestle with this, too. I’ve learned over and over that no one naturally does well with accountability and self-confrontation. It’s our natural instinct to preserve an idea about ourselves, to scratch for every justification to believe we are right and good. The only other direction besides pride is, as you said, self-loathing, or self-condemnation and despair, and we seem to fluctuate between these two extremes: pride or despair.

In my hospital chaplaincy education, we actually have an assigned group of five people, and we get together several times a week to talk about how we’re doing and to work on “growing edges.” These are very, very tough conversations. We call each other out. We hold each other accountable. We might say, “So last week I noticed you did this thing that really bothered me. Can you say more about that?” 

We have a policy to be curious and not judgmental—but there are always at least one or two people in the group that absolutely cannot handle this process. They flip out or melt down, or in one case, give everyone the middle finger and quit. Even the “well-adjusted” chaplains squirm in their seats and try to deflect and rationalize instead of self-examine. 

It’s really, really difficult to confront the truth about yourself because we all have some ugliness inside, and it’s unbearably painful to see the selfishness and emptiness which we so desperately cover. It’s hard to give so much trust to another person who can dig into your heart with a scalpel and reveal that there are real problems inside.

But we also need this. We do need to give our trust to at least one or two people to say, “Please tell me graciously and patiently what I need to work on sometimes.” We need to give permission for people to call us out, or we will never grow, and instead isolate ourselves in an ivory tower of self-reflexive lies. 

You see, everyone wants this for everyone else but themselves. That’s why when you listen to a sermon or a TED Talk, you think, “If only my mom could hear this” or “I wish my boyfriend was here.” We’re always thinking of the specks in other peoples’ eyes instead of the plank in our own. We lack so much self-awareness that we also lack the awareness of our own lack of self-awareness.


There’s a now infamous psychological technique called the Johari window which splits the self into four parts: 

1) Arena: What you know about yourself and what others know

2) Facade: What you know about yourself and what others don’t know

3) Blind spot: What others know about you but you don’t know

4) Unknown: What you and others don’t know about you

I’d like to add a fifth one: the Known Unknown, or in other words, what you know about you but you don’t want to know. 

Everyone knows someone like this (and I include myself in there). Everybody has been telling this person they have a problem, and but he or she just won’t believe it. They blow up or leave the room or cry their way out. And yes: you and I have done this, too. And we use other peoples’ lack of self-awareness to say, “At least I’m not as bad as that guy.”

Now let’s try a thought experiment. When you read the Johari window up top, just now, did you think, “Wow, I need to work on this,” or, “Wow, I wish ___ could read this” …? Because the Johari window isn’t meant to be a weapon. Yet so many of us, out of pride and the fear of looking at our own issues, will do exactly that. We’re scared of what’s inside, and no one ever taught us how to look. 

I think the starting point for hearing criticism, for me, is to know that I am both fully flawed and fully beloved. I need to hold both of these truths together, within balance, at the same time. It’s not easy. But if I can know I am fully flawed, then when a trusted friend tells me something, I must listen, because some part of it must hold truth that will help me to become more fully me. But when that flaw threatens to condemn me into a spiral of worthlessness, I must remember I am pieced together by the divine, that Jesus loves me completely as I am, and I am never beyond his limitless capacity for grace and restoration.

None of this is a perfect process. There will be many days that you’ll swing wildly between pride and despair. I think the main thing is to know how to respond when we are tossed between these waves. I also think we can become more daring in seeking out the truth for ourselves: we are always in danger of becoming prideful, and so prideful in fact that those who read this and say “I don’t wrestle with pride” are already admitting that they have a problem with pride. And I believe there’s no shame in seeking encouragement and those voices who will elevate us to be truly ourselves.

J.S.

flatsound sentence starters
  • "Tonight I walked through a field that used to scare me more than I scared myself."
  • "I wish I had known you then."
  • "It was never death that interested me; it was the idea of an opportunity to follow a cold breeze that promised to take me anywhere but here."
  • "I’m sorry you thought this couldn’t work, because I’ve never wanted anything more in my entire life than to prove that it could."
  • "You were not my world, you were my universe."
  • "And I wonder if that’s what it feels like to die."
  • "Why do I wait, wondering how long it’ll take you to admit it?"
  • "I’d rather keep my mouth shut then start to say what I can’t finish."
  • "I sit here wondering if anything you said was true."
  • "We both noticed something had changed."
  • "I called you up again today and you didn't pick up."
  • "I didn't expect it to happen this quickly, you know?"
  • "I sit here and I worry about myself so much."
  • "I wanted you to care, I wanted you to be nosy, I wanted you to be there."
  • "I know it's stupid of me to say that you don't care, I mean, of course you do, but I want you to care so much more."
  • "I can't be around all these people who all my life have tried to change me."
  • "I can't hide who I am."
  • "I will be happy for the first time in my whole life."
  • "It makes me feel good, makes me feel pretty."
  • "I will go to sleep; just know you’ll be in my dreams."
  • "If I cry, it won’t be because of you."
  • "You don’t have to wait or pretend that he’s just your friend."
  • "It scares me more than I'd like to admit."
  • "My only problem lately is I've got too much time so all I'm left with is that what's on my mind."
  • "I left out everyone and all I have at the end of the day is that what's on my mind."
  • "Say I came back today, would I have a spot in your heart?"
  • "I cheated with your ex best friend."
  • "You can't stand in my doorway for long."
  • "It's eleven o'clock, he's expecting you home."
  • "I'll walk you up the hill to your car."
  • "No, don't let go, don't let this die."
  • "I just need to know what I did to ruin this and turn your body cold."
  • "If you walk through that door there will be no us."
  • "I thought you were being distant."
  • "I did not mean to make this the worst night of your life."
  • "I need you to know what happened."
  • "I saw you walking by, you didn't say hi, you didn't even smile."
  • "You're not the only one who's feeling anxious toward the bullshit that's attached to growin' up."
  • "You said things would stay the same; well, have they?"
  • "I know you're scared, but you'll never get better if you keep running away."
  • "Sometimes you need to be self centered to understand yourself better."
  • "I'm not in the mood to stick around."
  • "Every day I think about you and why you had to turn into my enemy, when all I need's my friend."
  • "Look at me and see how much I've changed since you left."
  • "Well, is this what you wanted, for me to admit that this fucking hurts?"
  • "I was never good at talking smoothly."
  • "Now I don't remember how you speak; I mean, it comes to me in dreams, but by morning, I lose everything you ever said."
  • "I'm not perfect, I think I'm quite the opposite, I'm nothing to adore."
  • "Perfection is opinion and nothing more."
  • "I'll be here waiting when your plane lands."
  • "Hi, my name is none of your concern."
  • "I like the way you make me feel at home."
  • "It wasn’t a mistake - so please dont think it was."
  • "I didn’t have a lot to drink, I just needed a bit for confidence."
  • "They won't find out, no one cares enough about it to run their mouths."
  • "Just please, when you’re ready to go, try not to make it so painful."
  • "Will you write another sad, sad song?"
  • "It's obnoxious and it's useless to fight a war you're losing."
  • "This might be your only chance."
  • "Is it you who calls the shots?"
  • "I don't know why they're choosing to confide in someone who will talk about anything."
  • "There are people who miss me and I don't know why they're investing all their time into someone with my history."
  • "Why did you say that I was one in a million? Because I believed it."
  • "I thought I had something that you were too scared to lose."
  • "I also saw how often you say goodbye."
  • "Things were never supposed to be this good."
  • "Nothing I can say now would justify a thing, just know I'm sorry."
  • "I just wanted to say I hope you're okay."
  • "You're already hurt, I'm scared that if you put your trust in me, I'll make it worse."
  • "You're still so young, you have room to grow into something amazing."
  • "You won't remember who I am."
  • "I can't live with the chance that this feeling's ever coming back."
  • "I don't hate you, but honey, this still hurts."
  • "I'm not dumb, I know everything."
  • "That liquid he consumes makes him speak the truth."
  • "Look at me, because I exist."
  • "It's a shame that we're not soulmates because if I didn't know better, I'd say this feels pretty good."
  • "You've been gone for too long, why'd you go?"
  • "Is this what you think it means to be responsible?"
  • "I went to class, you didn't show up."
  • "I thought we said that we'd keep in touch."
  • "So live up to the name you’ve been making for yourself."
  • "Last night you had that dream again, the one where you try and run from your fears but you can’t because you’re wearing fabulous stilettos."
  • "If I were the sun, I'd shine my light on you and leave the people that hurt you cold."
  • "We’re fighting again, more than usual."
  • "I’m sorry about being me."
  • "I'll sleep on the couch."
  • "Bring me a cat to be my best friend."
  • "It isn’t like you ever said that you were committed to the thought of me and only me."
  • "I can’t believe I spent all morning trying to tell you I’m sorry about yesterday."
  • "You smell like the devil but you feel like the lord."
  • "I didn’t dodge all your bullets, I just denied that they hit me."
  • "If I told you I loved you would you reach out and touch me?"
  • "I wish we had just gone to bed."
  • "This could have worked."
  • "The best part of that whole song was skipping ahead to Nicki Minaj."
  • "I will not make the same mistake twice."
  • "I know you never really liked people, I didn't mean to make that worse."
  • "I still know the roads that take me to your street."
  • "I know I promised that we'd talk more it's just, I'm surprised you even want to talk at all."
  • "I'm so scared that you still think I'm the one who gave up."
  • "The plans we made were never mistakes, they just didn't work for us."
  • "You always knew the deal that we made and what this was worth."
  • "I'll go to sleep at a decent time when I find something worth waking up for."
  • "I keep checking my phone to see you haven’t called at all."
  • "I thought I was the best part of your life, now I’m pretty sure that I was wrong."
  • "You’re impossible to read so if you love me, come clean."
  • "I’ll refer to you as my special love, the one that set me free."
  • "I’m feeling lost in towns that were my home."
  • "It's my own body, I did what I wanted."
  • "It’s not that I don’t have words to say, I just don’t want to be the one that speaks them."
  • "Your only flaw is that you’re flawless.”
  • "I’m so full of shit, I’m surprised you bought it."
  • "Well congratulations, I didn’t know you two had made things so official."
  • "Don’t call me when it fizzles; in fact, don’t call me at all."
  • "What a beautiful sight to see you alive."
  • "I can't hold you responsible anymore."
  • "I'm lost now in the thrill of it."
  • "I just want to lay in bed with you."
  • "I'll throw everything I have into the flames just to make it last."
  • "There are reasons that I can't stay."
  • "I built my life around watching everything you do."
  • "I wonder if you're having fun."
  • "You said you were done; well, how done?"
  • "I want to believe that I really don't need him."
  • "I can't wait until I see your face and my brain feels nothing."
  • "I would never want you to stop your life."
  • "You were always a shitty friend."
max and the breakfast club (bmw 3)

bullymagnet week, day three: detention.

follows on the heels of day one and day two so read those first.

.

Somehow, he thought school jail in Mayview would be… more than this.

Max has been in detention for ten minutes by this point, and he can feel himself actually getting bored. Life lately has been so full of terror and nonsense that he had a little trouble recognizing the feeling at first but, yup, that’s what it is. Boredom.

Oh, for sure, the room does appear to have a population startlingly similar to the characters in The Breakfast Club, at least if you’re willing to consider Max the brain. Which, well, he has one, and that’s more than can be said for most of the rest of this town, so the comparison sort of holds. Johnny is obviously the rebel, so there’s another match. Granted, the jock is a ghost, but he has been pretty quiet, just like the recluse and the beauty (actual students Max does not recognize), so at least that’s something.

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Take Me Home sentence starters
  • "Come on and let me sneak you out."
  • "We'll be doing what we do, just pretending that we're cool."
  • "I know we only met, but let's pretend it's love."
  • "Don't overthink, just let it go."
  • "If we get together, don't let the pictures leave your phone."
  • "We wanna live while we're young."
  • "If you don't wanna take it slow and you just wanna take me home, baby, say yeah."
  • "I just wanna show you off to all of my friends."
  • "Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me."
  • "You've never loved your stomach or your thighs, the dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine, but I'll love them endlessly."
  • "I'm in love with you."
  • "You'll never treat yourself right, darlin', but I want you to."
  • "Come on and dance with me, baby."
  • "I been watching you all night."
  • "Let me be your last first kiss."
  • "I wanna be the first to take it all the way like this."
  • "I'm afraid you'll run away if I tell you what I've wanted to tell you."
  • "Maybe this is a mistake."
  • "Seein' you with him just don't feel right."
  • "You're all I ever wanted, thought you would be the one."
  • "Now that you're gone, I can't stand dumb love songs."
  • "Do you remember summer '09?"
  • "It was the best time of my life."
  • "They can never shut us down."
  • "I used to think that I was better alone."
  • "Why did I ever wanna let you go?"
  • "The words you whispered I will always believe."
  • "We should say goodbye."
  • "Are we friends or are we more?"
  • "If you say you want me to stay, I’ll change my mind."
  • "Up in my head I'm your boyfriend, but that's one thing you've already got."
  • "Reality ruined my life."
  • "Feels like I'm constantly playing a game that I'm destined to lose."
  • "I can't compete with your boyfriend."
  • "Would he love you like I would?"
  • "I'd never leave her."
  • "It's no joke to me."
  • "Can we do it all over again?"
  • "You know I can tell that your heart isn't in it, or with it."
  • "We can both remove the masks and admit we regret it from the start."
  • "You'll never know how to make it on your own."
  • "But do you really want to be alone?"
  • "Baby, you don't have to worry, I'll be coming back for you."
  • "I've never been so into somebody before."
  • "Tell me nothing's gonna change."
  • "We're too young to know about forever."
  • "This love is only getting stronger."
  • "I just wanna tell the world that you're mine, girl."
  • "I bet you if they only knew, they would just be jealous of us."
  • "They don’t know I've waited all my life just to find a love that feels this right."
  • "They don’t know how special you are."
  • "They don’t know what you’ve done to my heart."
  • "They can say anything they want 'cause they don’t know us."
  • "It's between me and you, our little secret."
  • "Can't believe you're packing your bags."
  • "Don't promise that you're gonna write, don't promise that you'll call, just promise that you won't forget we had it all."
  • "You always will be my summer love."
  • "Wish that we could be alone now, we could find some place to hide."
  • "So please don't make this any harder, we can't take this any farther."
  • "She's addicted to the feeling of letting go."
  • "I'm the only one that gets to take her home."
  • "Every time I tell her that I want more, she closes the door."
  • "She's so afraid of falling in love."
  • "Maybe she's just trying to test me."
  • "Maybe all her friends have told her 'don't get closer, he'll just break your heart'."
  • "Every time I tell her how I feel, she says it's not real."
  • "I was the only one who loved you from the start."
  • "When I see you with him it tears my world apart."
  • "I've been waiting all this time to finally say it, but now I see your heart's been taken and nothing could be worse."
  • "Had my chances, could have been where he is standing."
  • "I loved you first."
  • "I never understood what love was really like, but I felt it for the first time looking in your eyes."
  • "Together we're so good, so why are you tearing me apart?"
  • "Did I do something stupid?"
  • "There's gotta be some way to get you to want me like before."
  • "No one ever looked so good in a dress and it hurts cause I know you won't be mine tonight."
  • "You say to everybody that you hate me, couldn't blame you 'cause I know I left you all alone."
  • "I was so stupid for letting you go, but I know you're still the one."
  • "I can't believe that you are here and lying next to me."
  • "I'm just the underdog who finally got the girl."
  • "Somehow you kicked all my walls in."
  • "Should I act so cool like it was no big deal?"
  • "Here's the tragic truth if you don't feel the same, my heart would fall apart if someone said your name."
  • "I hope I'm not a casualty, hope you won't get up and leave."
  • "Might not mean that much to you, but to me it's everything."
  • "Come on over, I don't care if people find out."
  • "They say that we're no good together and it's never gonna work out."
  • "I know you wanna be bad."
  • "Kissed you once now I can't leave."
  • "Everything you do is magic."
  • "Don't try to make me stay."
  • "Heartache doesn't last forever."
  • "Should I see someone else?"

Carnivores is 1 year old today!

It might seem weird to want to celebrate my own fic’s first birthday, but this one is special to me, and special things are worth calling attention to, right? Posted online at AO3 on August 10, 2016, I called this one done and thought I might hear from one or two readers at best. It had clawed its way out of me and, in doing so, had served its purpose: release. I was ready to let it go and move on to something else. It was never supposed to grow like it did, but to my surprise people seemed to connect with it– as did I– and from that point on the guys as they appeared in this AU just wouldn’t leave me alone. In the 6 months it took me to conclude the series, Carnivores has found its way into my heart as one of the most meaningful personal projects I’ve ever poured myself into.

So, I don’t normally do this (not because I don’t like to hear from people but because I’m usually too stubborn and proud to openly ask for feedback, no matter how badly I want it, hah) but today I’m making an exception. If you feel inclined to, I’d love to hear from anyone who read the series, or even just parts of it. What stood out? What made a lasting impression? What left a mark on you (the way Seunghyun loved leaving marks on Daesung)? Good or bad, I want to hear it. It can be an overarching theme, a single scene, even just one line. Whatever comes to mind. I’m curious. Do tell.

And don’t worry about spoilers. It’s been 12 months since Carnivores, the fic, was posted… and nearly 7 since the last installment, Bright Like the Sun. The series has been around long enough by now that I’d say any part of it can be considered fair game.

I went to London wanting to find love. I was convinced that it would be my time to enjoy of a unique and wonderful love. I imagined the long goodbye at the airport and not wanting to let go. I even imagined him coming home with me for Christmas, how my family and friends would all melt over his accent and how’d he look over at me, catching me as I stared at him and he’d just smile at me, like if it was some romantic comedy.
I honestly thought he’d be the one, I thought we’d have our troubles with distance but at the end i’d move back to London and we’d both live in Primrose Hill, happily ever after.

Sure I knew this was quite unrealistic to wish for but deep down I believed with all my heart that it had to happen. That it was going to be my time, all the waiting, it just had to be.

It wasn’t.

I didn’t find the one and I definitely did not bring someone home with me. It’s still just me, and I am starting to believe that this will always be the case.

I don’t entirely regret it though. I did fall completely in love maybe not with someone but with that city. God I could spend hours just talking about it. From how it made me content just being with myself to how it just changed me forever.

Sitting at the top of Primrose Hill watching all the people that passed by. On the tube where I fell in love with every stranger, wondering what their stories were, where they were going? who were they meeting? Walking down Baker Street and feeling like I finally belonged somewhere.
There’s just something in the air in that city that made me smile, made me feel so deep. I can’t explain it but I am forever grateful to it.

I fell in love with many strangers in that city. From boys who I never spoke to, just made eye contact with, to boys that I kissed in clubs, bars, or even sidewalks for the sake of feeling something.

I felt something alright. I felt rejected just to feel wanted a few seconds after and so on. For the first time I felt the rush of lust and wanting a strangers lips on my neck more than anything. I felt silliness as he sang to me, drunkenly, as I walked out of the club. Of course, I never heard from him again.

For the first time in my life, I knew what it felt like to be looked at as if I put the stars up in the sky. It might have been by an extremely intoxicated stranger that I had just met, who most probably didn’t mean to look at me that way, but he did. That night I learned what it was like to be reckless and in love, laughing and running through the streets in the middle of the night as he held my hand.
I learned that a bad kiss can make you feel ten times more than a great one, it just depends on the person you’re kissing.

I also learned how to let go of something that wasn’t truly yours. I learned that some nights aren’t meant to last forever and that falling in love with strangers is reckless to do to your heart. I learned that even though something clearly happens for a reason and because of faith, like the tube breaking down and him getting of the wrong station, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he is the one or that a night can last forever. Sometimes it is what it is, as simple as that.

I learned that traveling to different places every weekend will be amazing, but you’ll get exhausted and you’ll wish your mom was with you. You will want someone there to share all of it with. Company is the main thing when traveling, you’ll always want someone who is far to be right by your side.

Sometimes your heart will yearn to go back to one place. Don’t listen to it. Believe me seeing all of those new places pays off and soon enough you’ll be back where you belong.

I discovered how amazing being independent can be. Being able to get up and do something on your own is one of the best feelings, but it can get lonely.

I realized that you can feel nostalgia even for something that hasn’t passed yet and that memories can be amazing but can completely destroy you at the same time.

I don’t regret any of it and although I didn’t get the love I wanted I wouldn’t change any of it. I got the love I needed from a city, something I never thought was possible. I fell in love in clubs, the tube, trains, the streets, bus stops. I will never forget the night I kissed a stranger on the side walk of Baker Street and for once felt what reckless love was like. I will never forget all the journeys I took and what I learned from each one of them.

So, yes, I went to London in the search of love, but God did I find so much more. I found myself and where I belong. It kills me that I had to leave and I’ll never quite be the same until I am back. But I know for sure I’ll be back, because when the heart yearns for a place to call home there is only so much time you can ignore it before it finds its own way back to where it belongs.

—  What I learnt in my time studying abroad in London

caststone  asked:

I'm not very familiar with prompt etiquette so I hope this is ok! I'm a giant sucker for Jane Austen AUs/fusions so if you could do a Les Mis ExR ficlet with those two as Pride and Prejudice's Darcy and Elizabeth I'd just be over the moon about it! Background femslash pairings of any variety totally welcome! The old timey setting of the original book isn't necessary if you don't like it - a modern adaption would still be totally appreciated. <3

A scene each from the beginning, the middle, and the end. (I’m sure any P&P readers can make an educated guess.)


“You could dance with Grantaire.”

Grantaire is fully aware that eavesdropping never does anyone any good, but he can’t help tuning in at the sound of his name, vaguely recognizing the voice as Courfeyrac, who’s been flirting pretty shamelessly with both Marius and Cosette tonight.

“I don’t want to dance with Grantaire.”

And that’s Enjolras, and proof positive that eavesdroppers never hear any good of themselves. Grantaire knows precisely three things about Enjolras, and one of them is that he doesn’t want to dance with Grantaire (the other two being that he’s ridiculously gorgeous and some kind of cutthroat lawyer), and he doesn’t know what he’s done to earn that much vehemence.

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The signs as I know them
  • <p> <b>Aries:</b> Aries is the fun sign. They love a good laugh and a party, but not with too many people. They're really social in smaller groups, and rather adventurous people with passion for their hobbies. Don't get them angry tho, because they find it scarily easy to yell at you and abandon you.<p/><b>Taurus:</b> I've learned tauruses are probably the strongest and most caring people of all, even if they've been through a lot they'll always be there to help others and give the nicest compliments and advice. They like to keep themselves busy trying new stuff and won't easily let people get to them.<p/><b>Gemini:</b> First of all let's clear something up: geminis are not two-faced. At all. Nor bitchy, nor lying. I've experienced they are actually really loving, have a huge interest in music, are stylish and funny. They're rather insecure and crazy, but in a fun way. They might not always be able to express their feelings the right way, but they try and that's what matters
  • Cancer: The Cancers I know are generally positive, optimistic, and adventurous. They want to experience as much in life and sometimes go a little too far when doing that. They're impulsive. When mad, they will give you the worst looks but won't attack you, afraid to get hurt.
  • Leo: Leos near me are some of the best people. They're caring, funny and very beautiful. They also tend to keep their feelings to themselves but oh, they're full of feelings and thoughts that should be heard but never will.
  • <p/> <b>Virgo:</b> A thing the virgos I know have in common, is I loved them and they left me. One purposely did, one didn't, but to me, virgos represent heartbreak. Since I know only two virgos who are also very different from each other, I can't give you one stereotype. One of them was your typical tumblr white girl who lacked depth and braincells, but was very fun to be around, cute, caring, happy... Till she got enough of me and started calling me names. For the other one how she behaved would depend on who you are. I've seen her mood change in a matter of seconds. She is a contradiction. Sweet yet bitchy. Intimidating yet easy to talk to. Tough yet emotional. Her smiles easily make someones day. As a virgo stereotype I'd say they're people you'll never forget.<p/><b>Libra:</b> I know the libra stereotype is that they're cute, but as far as I know they're all rude assholes caused by being insecure. They won't hesitate to insult or let down others if that'd make them feel better. They're really sneaky and talk shit behind your back.<p/><b>Scorpio:</b> I don't think I've ever met a perfectly alright or "normal" scorpio, somehow there's always something odd about them. Depression, no father, gender issues, been bullied, not straight, stealing.. It makes me wonder if "normal" scorpios exist. On the contrary, I've also never met a scorpio I don't like. They're really nice yet insane. And, being a scorpio myself, I find they are the only people who don't think I'm too intimidating to yell at. I've never met a purely stereotypical scorpio tho, we aren't all that scary and intimidating, not as obsessed with sex, and we don't fight everyone we see, only if we have a good reason to. Overall we're just deeply good, emo people.<p/><b>Sagittarius:</b> Sags are really social people with a lot of friends, that they like being around. What they probably like even more, is showing off their friends. And their knowledge. And money. Clothes. And so on. They are good storytellers tho, and will keep you interested.<p/><b>Capricorn:</b> All Capricorns near me are outgoing and sweet. They're really lovable and funny and have an ambition to make a change in the world. They'll always be nice to you, no matter what.<p/><b>Aquarius:</b> Y'all are FUCKING insane. Aquariuses tend to try too hard on a lot of stuff, and that makes them annoying sometimes. For instance they're smart, they know it, and love to let other people know as well. They're really some know-it-alls. Some of them stereotypically have no heart, some only care about themselves, and somehow a few do actually express some feelings, but not that often.<p/><b>Pisces:</b> Pisces people either have too many emotions or none at all. They either think too much or not at all. They easily hurt your feelings and then come apologise afterwards, when it's too late. They can be really rude and annoying at times and don't seem to care about you at all, like they're in their own world. They're not really social people.<p/></p>