never tell me to look serious again

Auston Matthews - Part 21

Little bit of explicit content, again marked at the beginning with a “~~” and also at the end. 

Can’t believe we are already at part 21?? Thank you all so much for loving this story as much as me and sticking with me! Much more to come! 

Alex can see in a difference in my mood and tries several times to get me to tell her what’s wrong. I shrug her off each time and make the excuse that I have a headache, which technically isn’t a lie. I can’t bring myself to watch the rest of the game or to look at the girl again, so I spend much of the next hour staring at my hands sitting on my lap.

               I shouldn’t even care. It’s not like I love him and we never made it seem like it was a serious thing. It’s only been like three days.

               However I can still feel the hurt, I want Auston to tell me that I’m delusional. That there’s nothing going on between him and blondie. That she’s no one. I want to go back to half an hour ago where I was happy and looking forward to coming back to Toronto in a week, this time to stay.

               I feel a bit better when the opposing team, Columbus, makes a comeback period, overtaking the Leafs four to five with less than two minutes in the game. I want Auston to hurt right now. When the final horn blows, the Leafs lose to Columbus to a final score of four to six. I stand with the rest of the family and we slowly make our way back down to the family room. I notice blondie trailing slightly behind us, but I know she’s going the same place we are.

               When we reach the family room it’s quite a while before any players emerge. I note that blondie doesn’t talk to anyone, just hovers around small crowds of who I’m guessing are wives and girlfriends, she looks out of place and I know she’s not exactly welcome here. Auston emerges from the hallway a bit later, a grumpy look on his face mixed with something I can’t put my finger on, shame maybe? I remain silent and refuse to meet his eyes while his family talks to him.

               Mitch and a few of the other guys emerge as well. I notice Mitch look at blondie and hesitate, a confused look on his face. He meets Auston’s gaze and they exchange dark looks. What? Mitch glances at me and sees me already staring at him and he gives me a sad smile, understanding completely.

               I feel a warm hand brush against mine and I rip it out of his reach. I may not know what’s going on right now but I know I want nothing to do with touching him.

               “Y/N, can I please talk to you a moment?” Auston whispers and I shake my head.

               “No,” I snap back and step away from him, giving myself some distance.

               Auston makes an aggravated noise in the back of his throat but he doesn’t push it. Instead he walks over to where blondie has been watching him like a hawk and begins whispering to her. I can’t help but stare, she rolls her eyes at him several times and reaches out to touch his arm which he dodges each time. I can see Mitch watching me out of the corner of my eye and I want to go ask him but I refrain.

               I look back over time to see blondie stalking out of the family room, a bitter look on her face though she never looks my way.

               “Y/N, please, you’re leaving in less than an hour, please talk to me,” Auston is back in front of me, he doesn’t try to touch me this time. I eye him a moment, sincerity on his face and I nod.

               I follow him back to the same hallway we were in just hours before, this time a much different mood and atmosphere between us. Auston turns to face me and runs his hands through his hair.

               “I’m assuming you know I must have had a thing with that girl,” he says slowly and I nod. “Had being the correct terminology.”

               He pauses as if he expects me to say something but I just stare at him, waiting for him to continue.

               “How did you know?” He then asks and I frown, of course he’s going to make me talk.

               “Her perfume, I could smell it in your car both times I was in it,” I tell him, staring at the wall over his shoulder.

               Auston nods slowly, his hands now behind his neck.

               “She wasn’t my girlfriend, more of a regular hook up type thing,” Auston says and I drop my eyes down to the floor, I do not like thinking about the two of them together. “And the night you and my family came to Toronto was the last night I was with her, I swear. I was so worked up about you coming and I was scared that I would still have feelings for you and I wouldn’t be able to do anything about those feelings because you’re my sister’s best friend and basically an adopted third daughter.” Auston starts ramblings and I watch him with wide eyes.

               “I needed something to just get it all out of my system and as soon as you all got to my place I felt so… dirty… like I cheated at something. I didn’t want anyone to go upstairs because I was being paranoid. And then in the car on the way to the restaurant and you were sitting so close to me and I just… and then you opened my present and you were so happy and I wanted you to have that expression every time I’m with you. And when I finally got to kiss you on the hill, then yesterday when you touched me… and last night when you slept in my bed with me even for those few hours I just…” Auston looks like he’s about to burst and I reach out my hand to cover his mouth.

               “Breathe, Auston. I’m not running away am I?” I say gently, seeing him upset is even more upsetting than seeing the blonde bitch try to touch him.

               Auston takes a moment to catch his breath, my finger still against his lips.

               “Yesterday, I went to her place after practice and she came out to my car, I made her delete me from every possible thing. My number, my snapchat… everything. I forgot she was coming to the game tonight and I never imagined she would have sat that close to you, nor that she would come down here especially because she never had before,” Auston says and I nod slowly.

               “What reason did you give her to delete all you stuff off her phone?” I ask slowly, my hand back at my side and I fumble with my coat zipper.

               “I told her I wasn’t into the whole hook up scene anymore… priorities,” he says softly and a faint smile crosses my face.

               “That doesn’t excuse the fact that you gave me a pillow that smelled like her,” I scowl at him.

               “Technically, I gave that pillow to Breyana, you took the pillow from her,” he says, a cautious half smile playing across his lips.

               “Oh yeah…” I say dumbly and he tentatively reaches out to me, this time I let him.

               He places his hand on my shoulder and tries to pull me towards him, his face taunt with wariness and I know in that moment he’s scared I’ll pull away. Instead, I step into him and wrap my arms around his waist, my face against his neck. He physically relaxes and breathes a sigh of relief, his arms wrapping tightly around me.

               “Thank you for explaining,” I whisper, all the dread in my stomach has since vanished. I have no reason to not believe him.

               “Thank you for letting me,” Auston says back, I feel his lips in my hair.

               “But, I think maybe we should take things a little slower,” I add and he stills slightly.

               “Slower?” He asks slowly and I pull back to look up at him. I can see him thinking back to yesterday on the steps.

               “Mhm, no kissing or touching until our first date,” I say, putting on my most serious face.

               Auston stares at me a moment and I can see him trying to find something to say, his face a mess of confusion.

               “I’m kidding, Auston,” I laugh and for the second time in two minutes he breathes a sigh of relief. Grabbing my chin and pressing his lips to mine, I melt into him and immediately open to him. He trails his hands to my waist, I wrap my arms tighter around his neck, standing my on tip toes. I giggle against his lips when his hands go to my butt, Auston goes still and I giggle again.

               “Way to kill the mood,” Auston laughs against my lips and I pull away, sliding my hands down his arms though his hands don’t leave my butt.

               “Can’t get too carried away, your parents are waiting for us. They have to leave soon,” I say regretfully.

               “And so do you,” he murmured and I give him a small smile.

               “Technically you do too, because you also have a flight to catch to New York,” I tap his forehead with my finger and adjust my shirt, his hands slip from my butt somewhat reluctantly.

               “When do you come back to Toronto?” He asks as we step back out into the family room.

               I catch Mitch’s eye and he waggles his eyebrows at me and I turn crimson.

               “I have to fill out all the paperwork to come over to Canada to live, I still technically have to transfer schools, which can take a bit of time but I would imagine I’ll be back in about a week,” I say distractedly, the idea of actually moving to Toronto seems so foreign to me.

               We rejoin his family, though this disappearance was noticed by Mrs. Matthews who is watching us like a hawk. Auston and I both realize this at the same time and we both look away from her quickly, guilty looks on our faces. Alex and Breyana are lit up like the Empire State Building to the side, eyeing us, Mr. Matthews looks like he didn’t even notice.

               Alex POV

               Finally! I can’t help the giddy expression on my face as I watch Auston and Y/N enter the family room again, both of them looking happier than they have all week. Breyana and I high five behind their backs, though I’m sure we had very little to actually do with anything.

               Now it’s time to say goodbye, the part that we all hate, even Auston. Breyana goes first, tears already welling in her eyes, she’s the one that misses Auston the most when we leave. After several minutes Auston finally gets her to calm down and smile and soon enough it’s my turn.

               “Take care of my best friend,” I whisper to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

               “I don’t think that girl needs anyone to take care of her,” Auston muses and I squeeze my eyes shut, refusing to cry.

               “She doesn’t, but never hurts to have backup,” I reply and he squeezes me gently. I peek over his shoulder at Y/N and see her standing slightly to the side, still stubborn about being a part of the family. Auston follows my gaze over to her and like a magnet, Y/N seems to instantly know. She looks up and sees us both staring at her and immediately turns red, scowling at us.

               Auston and I laugh and I quickly give him another hug before skipping over to Y/N’s side.

               “I would ask why you aren’t in line to say goodbye to my brother but something tells me that you’ll have plenty of time for that later,” I tease and she smacks my arm.

               “Alex!” She scolds and I scoff at her.

               “I meant that you still have a bit before you have to leave, Y/N. Pervert,” I again tease her and she rolls her eyes.

               “I told Auston to take care of you,” I add and she snaps her eyes back to me.

               “I don’t need to be taken care of,” she huffs at me and I laugh.

               “That’s exactly what Auston said.”

               She smiles at this, a warm feeling emitting from her and I can’t help but smile as well.

               “Which is why I’m going to tell you to take care of him as well,” I say quietly, wrapping my arm around hers and laying my head on her shoulder.

               Y/N is quiet for a moment before squeezing my hand gently, not needing to say anything.

               “I think I’m sadder to be leaving you, to be honest,” I say after we sit in silence for a while.

               “I know,” Y/N says and I laugh.

               “Of course you do,” I muse and we watch as my mother gives Auston one last hug. We both get to our feet and make our way back over to the family, Auston’s eyes going right to Y/N and she takes her place by his side. I smirk at her and she again rolls her eyes at me, but the smile on her face tells me enough.

               Before I know it we are all outside by the SUV we picked Y/N up in just a week earlier, already going home just without any pit stops on this run. I embrace Y/N once more, tears threatening to spill from both of us.

               “Love you,” Y/N whispers to me.

               “Love you,” I whisper back, a bit jealous that Auston will get to see her so much than I will now. “I’m glad you picked Toronto, I’m so proud of you.”

               Y/N squeezes me even tighter, a can feel her wet cheek against mine.

               “Thank you,” she chokes out and we finally let go of one another.

               Y/N steps back onto the sidewalk with Auston, her luggage at her feet. Mom steps up to her and gathers her into a tight hug.

               “We are so proud of you, Y/N,” she also whispers and Y/N’s eyes instantly close, it’s easy to see how much she loves my mom. “Take care of each other,” she says to both Y/N and Auston, letting go of Y/N and stepping back down to the side of the SUV.

               “Mom, don’t worry, they will be just fine,” I tell her, squeezing her hand and opening her door for her. She gives Y/N and Auston a smile and tears seep out of her eyes, leaving one child in Toronto is hard enough for her, now she’s leaving two.

               Normal POV

               Auston and I watch the SUV pull away from the sidewalk, both of us waving until they turn into traffic. He reaches down and picks up my bags before I can protest and brings them over to the rental car my parents sent for me, placing them all the in the trunk. I watch him pack everything in with a frown on my face. I don’t want to leave him.

               “Why the sad face?” Auston asks me, closing the trunk with a small click.

               “I think I might actually miss you this next week,” I admit, grinning at him.

               “Actually week and a half, we have a couple game road trip,” he says, standing in front of me, for once we are the same height thanks to the curb I’m standing on.

               “Oh boy, a whole ten days, compared to twenty years that seems so long,” I muse, as he takes a step closer to me, just inches away.

               “I guess my imagination will have to suffice me for another ten days,” Auston sighs and I can tell he wants to touch me but his hands stay in his pockets.

               “If we were in high school I would tell you to get in the backseat of my car,” I whisper at him, licking my lips and he scowls at me.

               “Oh, don’t do that to me,” he groans and I hear the door to the building open behind us and before I can turn around I hear a low wolf whistle.

               Auston throws a filthy look over my shoulder and I know it has to be Mitch.

               “Wow, pretty steamy out here for middle of winter,” I hear Mitch say loudly and I giggle, looking over my shoulder at him and a few other guys walking to their cars, preparing to head to the airport.

               “Fuck off,” Auston calls out and I grab Auston’s hand, tugging him to the side of the building beside of us, hiding us in the shadows.


His mouth finds mine instantly but he seems to remember his rule about touching me again because his hands stay away from my ass this time, staying in my hair and at the back of my neck. I run the tip of my tongue against his bottom lip and he instantly opens for me. My hands roam into his coat and I curse the stupid button up shirt he’s wearing for halting my progress so instead I dip my hand down again, finding the wonderful spot again and he groans into my mouth.

“Please tell me to touch you,” Auston moans at me, unable to keep kissing me while I continue my slow movements.

“Nope,” I grin at him and kiss his throat.

“I hate you,” he says and I bite him, he jerks against me and I smile, beyond proud of myself.

“I really hate you,” he says again and I shut him up by covering his mouth with mine again, stopping my movements below his belt.


“I expect you to use your snapchat wisely the next ten days,” I whisper against his lips and he grins.

“Ten days,” he repeats and I break away from him. I can hear cars rumbling close by and I know he has to go.

Auston walks be back to my car and bends to kiss me sweetly, holding my door open for me.

“I might actually miss you too,” he says and I smile.

“Doesn’t surprise me, I’m a lovely person,” I say and he rolls his eyes.

I climb into the car and another smile as he closes my door, I roll down my window and he leans in for one more kiss. A car honks behind us and Auston bumps his head on my window frame, I giggle as he curses and sends a filthy look behind us though I know its Mitch.

“Don’t let them give you too hard of a time,” I grin at him.

“Impossible,” he mutters giving me one last smile and wink before stepping back from the car.

“Laters, baby,” I say and roll my window back up. He watches me pull away and I can’t help but smile into the darkness of my windshield, more excited than ever to go home to just come back to my new home in a few short weeks.  

NSFW Mystic Messenger - Unknown x RFA x MC FLUFF P10 - Thank you

A/N: Hope you guys like this cause I did. I smiled like crazy writing this. ^_^ 

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | | 8.2 Bad end | 8.1 | 9 |


You gave Seven a puzzled look and just gave a weak fake smile.


After washing up, you went back to bed lying down staring into blank space at the ceiling. With your arms and legs spread across the bed while Seven went back to his computer and doing his coding stuff again which you will never ever understand it. Seven spun his chair around to face you.

Can you tell me how was your ex-boyfriend like?

Keep reading

Pikachu and Charlotte (Peter Parker x Reader)

Request: Could you do one where the reader has electric powers and Peter makes fun of her by calling her his pikachu

‘’Calm down, Pikachu’’ Peter told you as you made all the light bulbs in the room turn off.
‘’What did you just call me?’’ you asked him before turning the lights on again, turning around to look at him.
‘’Pikachu’’ he said, a grin adorning his face. ‘’Don’t tell me you never watched Pokémon.’’
‘’Oh, believe me, I did’’ you said, furrowing your brows. ‘’That’s why I don’t understand why you are calling me Pikachu.’’
He laughed and shook his head, getting up from the ground to be eye-level with you.
‘’Pikachu has electric powers, don’t you remember?’’ he asked you, laughing even harder.
‘’Are you serious?’’ you said, trying not to laugh at the joke and maintain a serious face. ‘’For that same reason, I would have to call you Charlotte’’ he looked at you confused when you said this, not really getting your point. ‘’Charlotte’s web?’’ you asked him. He shook his head and you sighed in exasperation. ‘’Dude, your childhood was horrible.’’
He laughed and threw an arm around your shoulder, guiding you to the exit of the training room.
‘’Wasn’t Charlotte’s best friend a pig?’’ he asked, smirking at you. You quickly understood what he meant and kicked his shoulder slightly, a small chuckle escaping your lips as you walked to the living room.

BTS REACTION: To finding out you have depression/anxiety

Her you go my darlings. Now listen. I suffer from anxiety and depression so I felt like it would be comforting to make something like this.


Anxiety and Depression are serious. You are not alone! I am here for you!!!


The second you told he pulled you into his arms. “No matter what I am here for you…always” he said while stroking your head. “I wish you had told me sooner…I never want you going through anything hard by yourself again” he said leaning down and pressing a sweet and gentle kiss against your lips.


He was taken back a bit. He looked at you in disbelief. “Why wouldn’t you tell me sooner…I would have came home earlier to spend more time with you…"  he looked sad. He came over and held you tight. "I am here for you Jagi…Tell me whenever you need me and I will drop everything” he said into your neck.


He would try so hard to keep you smiling. “I will always be here for you. I love you~” he said while peppering your face in kisses that sent you into giggles. “That’s all I want…to see you smile everyday.” he leaned down and gave you a kiss on the lips and through the kiss you felt that he really cared and would keep his word.


He would smile. “you are so strong…I love you…I’m here for you. I know I  talk a lot but if you ever need to talk seriously I’m here..” he said holding you close. He pulled away from the hug to look into your eyes and repeat how much he really loved you.


He frowned. “I want you to be happy…do I make you unhappy?” he asked, voice full of pain. You quickly denied it and held onto him. “ I love you Tae. you are the only one who makes me happy.” you say with your face in his chest. “And I only love you…so I’m here for you. Forever and always.” you looked up and smiled then he shouted “TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!” you laughed at how cute and silly he was. No matter what you knew Taehyung would always be your light.


He was kind of confused but you explained it a bit to him and he looked sad and reached over to caress your cheek. “I love you soo much…please don’t feel that way anymore.” his eyes that usually smile where full of sadness. He pulled you onto his lap and snuggled you. “I love you…Please sty happy.” he said with a broken voice. You held onto him “As long as I have you I will be okay”


He had the most hurt look in his eyes. “I promise I will never let you feel that way again…” he kissed your forehead and carried you to the shared bedroom and laid you down. He laid down with you and pulled you to his chest. For a moment he was silent, the only thing you could hear was the strong pounding of his heart. “You hear that? it only beats for you…remember that” he said while looking into your eyes.

hope you enjoy!!!


Catching Feelings Part II

Part 1

I hadn’t talked to Nate, or any of the guys for that matter in almost a month, and I was running out of excuses. Derek was the first to call me on my bullshit, and the first one I decided to let into my pity party. He invited himself over, even after my fleet of excuses, for a talk.

“Alright Y/N, it’s just you and me here, talk to me” he turns himself toward me as we sit on the couch.Derek and I often had talks, but never one as serious as this. “Der, it isn’t that easy” I look at him as I relive me and Nate’s last meeting over and over again. “Don’t give me that Y/N it’s just me, you can tell me, whatever it is” I can’t believe I am actually about to do this, I take a deep breath and begin the story that started this shit storm.

“So Y/N correct me if I’m wrong here, but Nate was your first time?” I nod my head and bring my knees up to my chest “And you caught feelings didn’t you?” I nod my head again as I feel my eyes start to water. “I just feel like an idiot you know?” the tears come faster now, and I don’t try to hold them back. “It’s like he couldn’t care less, you know when I went to talk to him about all this he ended our conversation to go and talk to some girl named Sasha?”

Derek scoots closer to me and pull me into a hug. “It’s okay Y/N, just stop……stop crying the best thing for you to do now is try and move on from him, Nate’s our friend and we both know he’s not the one for a relationship, I give him and Sasha two weeks, tops” he smiles down at me and doesn’t break our embrace. I don’t know how long we stay like this before Derek says something again.

“Let’s go out tonight, just you and me, whatever you want to do” I sit back on the couch and look over at him “Derek I’m not really in the “going out” kind of mood” he smiles and shakes his head “Y/N the thing is, I wasn’t giving you a choice” I blow out a breath and put my hands over my face. “Derek it’s only 2:00 no one, with the exception of alcoholics goes to the bar at 2:00″ Derek pulls out his phone and all I hear is the typing of fingers. “Fine let’s go get ice cream or some shit” I get up off the couch and attempt to go upstairs “Where you goin’ ma?” “I’m not going out looking like this” I motion to my pajama pants.

I pull on a pair of jeans that compliment my figure, my hooded Nike crop top, and a little makeup. I put my hair in a ponytail and trot down the stairs to meet Derek. “Damn Y/N you look really good” he gives me a thumbs up as he approaches “But just one more thing” he lifts his hands and secures it at the top of my ponytail pulling out the scrunchie and let my brown hair fall over my shoulders. “That’s better. c’mon let’s go”

Me and Derek decide on Fro-yo and go to this cute little shop not far from my house. “Can I have one Chocolate with oreos and one Vanilla with oreos” Derek hands me our yogurt and while he pays I go and find us a table. I place Derek’s yogurt across from me and begin to eat mine. Derek sits down after not to long and we begin laughing about whatever comes up in conversation. 

Derek eyes me while I watch the door as the hot guy walks in with who I assume is he little brother “ooooo do I hear wedding bells” I swat at him across the table. The guy and his brother sit directly diagonal from us, and I try not to stare at him. He has shaggy blonde hair and piercing green eyes. Derek doesn’t let up as he teases me “Why don’t you just talk to him, I mean seriously Y/N you haven’t stopped looking at him and he hasn’t stopped looking at you” I shake my head “Why would that guy be interested in me?” “Because you are beautiful, now get your cute ass over there and talk to him before I do it for you”

I know Derek isn’t bluffing so I gather some confidence and walk over. He looks up at me and smiles “Hi” he says, God his voice was to die for. “Um Hi my name is Y/N” “Hayden” he holds out his hand and shakes mine “I know this is really forward, but would you maybe, possibly….like to go out with me sometime?” He eyes me suspiciously, Great he is gonna say no “What about your boyfriend?” he points towards Derek who is trying to balance his spoon on his nose. “Oh him, that’s not my boyfriend” “Oh, well in that case i would love to go out with you, is Saturday okay with you, I’m babysitting for my parents and they get back Saturday morning” I nod my head and look over at his brother “Saturday is perfect” He smiles at me again showing me his pearly white teeth “Then it’s a date” 

Hayden and I exchange numbers as I walk him and his little brother out of the shop “I almost forgot to introduce you two” he motions toward his little brother “This is Finn, Finn can you say Hi” Finn holds Hayden’s leg as he peeps up at me “Hi” I smile down at him “How old are you handsome?” He smiles even harder as he holds up four fingers “Well, Finn it was very nice meeting you” I extend my hand to him and he kisses it. I laugh and Hayden looks down at him “Where’d you learn that?” “Daddy” I wave the two of them off and go back in the shop with Derek to tell him the good news.

                                           Saturday Night 

I pull on my maroon bodycon dress and my tan pumps, checking myself in the mirror one more time before Hayden arrives. Hayden and I agreed on eight and it was now 7:15. While I wait I get a text from Derek:

Ayye Ma I’m omw to see you off…..Nate’s with me 

Can’t wait to see you and just you

Don’t be that way Y/N

Fine I’ll be nice

When they get there Nate looks tense, “Hey Y/N, you look nice” he says not looking me directly on the eyes. “You look amazing Y/N” Derek takes me up in a hug. “I’m gonna go pee” Derek says hopping up the stairs. After not too long there is a knock at the door. “O mi God, he’s here, Nate would you let him in for me?” he nods his head and walks toward the door. i rush upstairs to get my bag and anything else I might have forgotten and as I come down I hear Nate talking to Hayden.

“Yea man she’s feeling under the weather but, she told me to tell you that she’s sorry and she’ll call you” as I reach the bottom of the stairs I am pissed. Nate turns around to look at me as he shuts the door. “What the hell is your problem, Why would you do that?” He laughs at me and shakes his head. “C’mon Y/N that guy? really? do you even know him?” I walk toward him and get in his face “What right do you have? You don’t know what I like or who I like, you don’t know anything”

Before I can go on Nate presses me against the wall and kisses me “I know you have feelings for me, I know that’s why you’ve been avoiding me and why you were gonna go on a date with that guy, who isn’t your type” I try to move from him, but he pins me to the wall and kisses me again, combing his hands through my hair. I try to resist but it’s no use. He breaks our kiss again giving me time to talk “And who is my type” He smirks down at me and grabs my waist in his big hands “Me” 

“Wow”. The both of us are startled as we see Derek standing at the bottom of the stairs with his mouth open.

My therapist and I were talking today and I looked at her and said, “Things have changed so much. I never thought I could be happy or enjoy life again.” And she asked me what I thought helped change that, and I said “Taylor Swift”. At first I thought she would tell me to be serious, but she looked me right in the eye and said, “I completely agree. She changed everything.” Thank you, Taylor. I love you. taylorswift

Even When I Hate You

I swipe at my eyes. I was fuming an hour ago, now I just can’t stop crying. I sit on the couch and continually swipe my tears away. It’s all in vain. The tears won’t stop coming, but it’s hard to look at Baekhyun when he’s a dark, blurry figure.

He told me he was “just friends” with Taeyeon. That that relationship was over. I took his word for it and left it at that. We never really spoke about her again, but he knows how I feel about her. She intimidates me and Baekhyun’s reassurances don’t help all that much. She’s beautiful and talented and she was Baekhyun’s first serious girlfriend.

I’m being petty, crying about the fact that he went out with her without telling me. I’m being petty but I can’t stop feeling angry about it. I want to glare at him, but my heart hurts too much.

Baekhyun always tells me he prefers me when I’m angry. At least he knows he can yell back and he won’t hurt my feelings. If I’m crying, he becomes a bumbling idiot and he doesn’t know what to do.

Exactly like now.

He opens and closes his mouth like a fish for a while. He doesn’t know what to say and I can see his feet moving as if he wants to bring me tissues. Eventually, he just whispers, “Are you that mad at me, jagi?”

“Just get out, Baek,” I reply, my voice just as low. “Just leave please.”

“No, not until you calm down. I’m not just going to leave when I know you’re mad at me.”

“I want you to leave. That will make me feel better.”

“I didn’t tell you because I knew how you would react.”

“You went behind my back, Baekhyun. I—” I shake my head. I have to keep quiet otherwise I’ll regret anything else that comes out of my mouth. “Just leave, Baek. I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

“Jagi…” He moves towards me, but I slink out of his touch. I move further down the couch and look down at my hands. “Jagi…?” He sounds lost. “I don’t—”

“I really hate you right now Baekhyun,” I tell him bluntly. “Please, just leave.” I force myself to look at him and hold the tears in long enough for him to register the look on my face. I’m being serious. I need him gone.

My statement hurts him, but he obliges. At the door, he calls, “I won’t be free for two weeks, jagi!” He waits; the door doesn’t shut. The last sound that he makes is a loud sigh and then he finally leaves.

With him gone, I can bury my face in my hands and sob.

That night, I’m lying in bed watching Netflix. I’m watching random documentaries to try to keep my mind off Baekhyun. He makes it extremely difficult by texting me every five minutes; eventually, I just put my phone on airplane mode.

My landline rings and I stare at the caller I.D. It’s Chanyeol. It’s probably not Chanyeol, but I answer anyway.

Lucky for me, the caller I.D. was right for once. “Hey.”

“Mm?” I hum.


“Don’t wanna talk,” I state.

“He’s really sorry.”

“I don’t care right now.” Chanyeol says my name. It’s his reasoning voice, but I refuse to break down right now. “Not right now, Chan. Just leave me alone for a while. Tell him to stop texting me? Thanks.” I let Chanyeol say goodbye before hanging up and unplugging the telephone in my room.

Baekhyun went out with Taeyeon and didn’t tell me. I’m angry he didn’t tell me; I’m furious that I had to find out through gossip websites. A couple people had left a link in comments to my Instagram photos. I’d typed it into my laptop and an article talking about Baekhyun and Taeyeon reuniting at a romantic restaurant sat on my screen.

I read through the article three times and when he came home a couple hours later, I shoved the laptop into his hands. The look on his face translated to ‘Oh shit’. He knew he was in trouble.

It didn’t occur to him that the tabloids would write about it before he had the chance to tell me. When I asked him why he didn’t just tell me in the first place, he said that Taeyeon had begged him to go out already that if I knew, I would have convinced him not to go.

“I can’t keep ignoring her, jagi,” he’d told me during our ‘argument’.

“I don’t want you to ignore her. I don’t want you to talk to her either, but I let you. I can’t control whom you’re friends with. If it really is platonic, then I believe you. But to not tell me? When I’m already skeptical about her?” I started breaking down then. “You broke my trust, Baekhyun. When I already didn’t feel good in comparison to her.”

The conversation just snowballed from there. No matter how hard Baekhyun tried to get us on steady ground again, I couldn’t stay there. My mind focused on the fact that he’d gone with her and not told me and I couldn’t think about anything else. Even when he said he loved me more than he’d ever loved her. Even when he said that they were just talking. Even when he told her that he was in love with me when she tried to talk him into getting back together. Even when he said that he left her at the restaurant to come back home.

None of that mattered to me.

“You can’t just fix it like that, Baek,” I mutter at my laptop screen now. “It’s not going to work like that.”

I left my phone on airplane mode for a day. When I looked at it two mornings later, my phone wouldn’t stop lighting up for five minutes. When it finally calmed down, I scrolled through the messages. More than two-thirds of them were from Baekhyun. The rest of them were family members, coworkers, friends and a message from Chanyeol telling me that if I wanted to talk, he was always free.

Chanyeol is the older brother I never had. He’s the one who introduced Baekhyun and me and he takes full credit for our relationship.

I call him. “Am I being stupid?” I ask as soon as he picks up the phone.

“Excuse me?”

“Should I forgive him?”

“Your anger is justified. Well, initially. To be MIA for two days, even to me? That’s not.”

I sigh. “How is he?”

“He fluctuates between being angry with you and crying about you. Overall, he misses you.”


“You’re gonna have to talk to him. You need to talk it out. Whatever he said to you—”

“I said more to him than he did to me.”

“Let him explain.”

“He did.”


“I hate him.”

“You don’t.”

“I told him I did.”

“I know you did.”

I bury my face in my other hand. “Now what?”

“Talk to him?”

“He said that you guys are busy for two weeks. When am I going to get a chance? This isn’t exactly something we can talk out over the phone.”

Chanyeol hums. “If you wanna come late tonight, I’ll open the door for you.”

“What time?”

“We should be done by midnight, be home around 12:30.”

I sigh. “Okay.”

Chanyeol texts me to tell me they got home early after my shift. I stare down at my work clothes. I thought I would’ve had time to change before going to see them, maybe try and look slightly more presentable. However, I take a cab over anyway and find Chanyeol waiting for me at the lobby door.

I don’t really talk on the elevator ride up. Chanyeol tries to relieve my tension, so he tells me what they were up to, recordings, interviews. I barely hear him though.

The dorm is still alive when we walk in. The showers are all in use, there are members in the kitchen eating, Jongin and Tao are lounging on the couch. The members I pass all wave to me when I walk in.

“Here to see hyung?” Sehun asks. He’s towel drying his hair as he goes to the kitchen.

“Yeah. Is he in the shower?” I ask him.

Sehun nods. “He should be done soon.”

Chanyeol motions towards his and Baekhyun’s shared room. “Just wait in there for him.”

Sehun chuckles. “Better not be getting freaky in there, noona. Be safe!”

Chanyeol smacks the youngest upside the head before dragging him away. From what I can tell, none of the others suspect anything to be wrong. Over his shoulder, he shakes his head in apology and I chuckle.

Baekhyun’s side of the room smells exactly like him and it’s a bit overwhelming. When I take a seat on the edge of his bed, I wish that I’d brought something else to wear. Rather than dwelling on that, I look around his room once before deciding to lie down on his bed and scroll through my phone until he comes in.

Five minutes later, Baekhyun enters. A towel is around his hips and his hair is tousled and dripping. He isn’t surprised when he sees me, so I’m assuming he bumped into one of his members when he got out of the bathroom.

“You’re here,” he states.

I move to sitting and set my phone down in my lap. “Yes, I am.”

“That’s good.” He turns away from me to face his closet. I jump a bit when he throws a pair of shorts over his shoulder and directly in my hands.

Whenever I sleepover, I always ask for these shorts. They’re comfortable and fit better than I first expected. They’ve basically become my shorts when I visit. I don’t say anything about it and neither does he as I change my bottoms. I feel a million times more comfortable, but am now just more aware of the fact that Baekhyun is giving me the cold shoulder.

Once he’s dressed, his hair slightly towel-dried, he joins me on the bed. However, he’s on his side, facing away from me. And he doesn’t say anything.

I stare his back, puzzled. “Uhm, do you want me to leave?”

“No. Just lie down.”

I roll my eyes and lie on my side, also facing away from him.

“Do you still hate me?” he murmurs after a while.


“You said you hated me, do you still?”

“I don’t hate you,” I reply, still scrolling through Instagram. I wasn’t angry when I walked in here. I was ready to make peace, but his cold shoulder has pissed me off again. I know though that Chanyeol would point out that this time my anger is probably unjustified. But he just irritates me.

“But you did.”

“I said that because I was mad.”

“Are you still mad?”

“Yes. You’re mad too.”


I sigh and sit up. I look at his back again. He’s dressed in my favourite white t-shirt of his. It’s soft against my face when I give him hugs, but thin enough that I can feel his whole body through it. “Baek, maybe I should just go. You don’t want to talk.”

“You’re mad.” He says this as if it’s the reason why he doesn’t want to talk. It sounds like a childish reason.

“Just hug me, you dumb nut and let’s stop being mad,” I plead.

He lazily throws a hand in my direction and rests it on my knee. “Don’t go.”


“Don’t. Go.” His tone is almost aggressive.

“Hug me properly and I won’t go anywhere.”

“I don’t want to look at you right now. Besides, I am hugging you. Just lie down.”

The irritation is clear in my tone. “Baek, no.”

He groans, also frustrated with me. The boy rolls to face me and for the first time since he walked in, I get a good look at his face. His cheeks are red and his eyes are closed. I don’t know if it’s to keep him from crying, but he doesn’t open them. Instead, he hovers his arm above the bed. There’s enough space for me to lie under his arm.

I do so and his arm rests in the crook of my side.

“I’m not mad at you anymore, Baek.”

“You love me?”

I don’t know if he’s aware I’m facing him because he pulls me closer. I’m pressed to him, my palm resting against his chest to keep distance between us. “I do.”

Baekhyun’s dark eyes open and I notice how swollen they are. He has been crying. “Then say it.”


His grip tightens around my waist. “I’m sorry for what happened with Taeyeon. I don’t want that to be the reason you leave me.”

My brow furrows at this, confused. “Baek, I’m not going to leave you.”

“Then tell me you love me.”


“Jagi, I’m not playing—”

I interrupt him by leaning up and kissing him. It takes him a second to kiss me back, but he does so and he naturally pulls me right on top of him. His hands stay at my waist as he holds me right above him.

I pull away and he tucks a strand behind my ear. “I love you, okay?” I murmur. “You’re an idiot, but I do. I love you.”

“Even when you hate me?”

“Probably the most then.” And I lean down and kiss him again.


I know, I know! It’s super long! But Baekhyun’s been a bias list ruiner lately, so all this naturally came out. Hope you don’t mind. xx